‘Nother punctuation question for the experts, please

[TarnishedPenny]

So, I have been looking at this for some time and see an argument for either side. Which is correct?

He wondered if her slowness was intended as a tease, if she realized how well that would play to his present mood.

Or

He wondered if her slowness was intended as a tease, if she realized how well that would play to his present mood?

 

[jehoram]

So, I have been looking at this for some time and see an argument for either side. Which is correct?



Or

Both constructions seem a little weird to me. Try recasting it as:

He wondered if her slowness was intended as a tease. Did she realize how well that would play to his present mood?

 

[SimonDoom]

A sentence beginning with "I wonder" or "He wonders", etc., is an indirect question, and the standard custom is not to put a question mark at the end.

It might be easier in the case of your example to take out everything after the comma, because it doesn't change the analysis -- it just makes it a longer sentence, which makes it harder to see the preferred method.

He wondered if her slowness was intended as a tease.

When you look at it in this simplified form, it seems clearer that no question mark is needed.

 

[SimonDoom]

Both constructions seem a little weird to me. Try recasting it as:

He wondered if her slowness was intended as a tease. Did she realize how well that would play to his present mood?

I agree it's a little strange.

Breaking the sentence down, you have a subject [he], a verb [wondered] and two parallel conditional clauses, both starting with "if," that function as the parallel objects of the verb "wondered." In other words, both "if" clauses tell you WHAT "he" wondered.

The "standard" way to do this would be to write:

He wondered if her slowness was intended as a tease and if she realized how well that would play to his present mood.

TP has decided to omit the "and" and replace it with a comma. I think it's fair to say this is less standard in English than using the "and," but I personally think it's within the bounds of literary license. The meaning is clear enough.

The other question is whether "whether" is a better word than "if." "Whether" is a bit more formal and maybe a little more correct, but, again, I think the use of the word "if" here is within the bonds of literary license.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Thank you, Simon.

And to you Jehoram. I think I’ll go with your suggestion.

 

[NotWise]

I would use the period rather than the question mark.

I also found the sentence to be a little awkward. My fix would be to replace the comma with an em dash.

 

[KeithD]

This: He wondered if her slowness was intended as a tease—if she realized how well that would play to his present mood.

As noted already, it's a declarative sentence, not a question.

An em dash is better than a comma here. "Em dashes are used to set off an amplifying or explanatory element . . ." (Chicago Manual of Style 16, 6.82)

 

[NoJo]

^^^ That's roughly how I'd do it too


but I also think "whether" might be better than "if"