First time anal on Valentines Day?

Lucky fella ! I hope he realises just how fortunate he is to have you !

First thing I would suggest, cleanliness in next to godliness ! Make sure you are "empty" if you know what I mean....

Next thing is, is relax.... take your time, and make sure your anal sphincter is well relaxed... if he can fit 2-3 fingers in without a problem, then he shouldnt have any problem fitting in.

And then of course, Lubrication. If it feels like you have plenty there, then you probably need more !

Include the anal play (part of the relaxation) as part of your foreplay. Make love first so you are both on a sexual high.... but remember.... Clean, empty, relax, lube, relax, gentle, lube, relax etc.....

and make sure his fingernails are neat, trimmed as far back as they can be, and they have no "sharp" edges !

Have fun !

Lots of good info -- links to great threads

I strongly suggest doing a similar search like you did in the stories, but here on the board.
One excellent thread (despite any and all attempts to be otherwise) is HERE, where you will find lots of information on lubes, specifically ones best used in anal.
Just one thread of MANY MANY on here that may be able to help you. We have a wealth of experienced anal whores (Pink Orchid especially ) who can offer advice for your first time.

Ang

Some probably weird questions, but hey, I AM an ass virgin...

First thing I would suggest, cleanliness in next to godliness ! Make sure you are "empty" if you know what I mean....

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Yeah, I know what you mean...but, do you just "empty out" normally or with an enema or something like that?

Next thing is, is relax.... take your time, and make sure your anal sphincter is well relaxed... if he can fit 2-3 fingers in without a problem, then he shouldnt have any problem fitting in.

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OMG he has HUGE hands...but I really REALLY want to do it...

And then of course, Lubrication. If it feels like you have plenty there, then you probably need more !

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Thanks for the heads up.

and do normal "sex shops" have lube and stuff like that? I've checked out that thread that Ang has recommended, and I am coming up w/ideas on lube.

Pixielust, I'm envying the two of you. You'll never forget your first anal -- it's amazing.

The advice from Aegis is dead on. Ang's lube link is an excellent one, IMHO.

I would add that it's good to be rubbing your clit while he's fingering you and doing the initial entry. The stimulation seems to dull any discomfort.

Also, you should consider picking a position that allows you to set the pace. Although with a good lover, just a light hand on his hip can provide enough feedback for him.

Best o' luck to you both.

-- Slo

SlowGuy said:

I would add that it's good to be rubbing your clit while he's fingering you and doing the initial entry. The stimulation seems to dull any discomfort.

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That's a good idea...

I think I trust him enough to let him enter me and "set the pace". I can always talk to him and tell him to go easier. I always say stuff like that in a way that isn't too harsh or mean...(don't some girls know that being harsh during sex can totally make it go limp?)

Stroke the ego with the cock.

Re: Some probably weird questions, but hey, I AM an ass virgin...

Originally posted by pixielust
Yeah, I know what you mean...but, do you just "empty out" normally or with an enema or something like that?

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Well, all I can say is my missus just does her normal thing. One thing I forgot though, you might want to get your guy to wear a condom the first time. Some of the bacteria back there isnt too friendly to his urinary tract. If for whatever reason you guys decide against condoms, make sure he washes his cock (or wash it for him) but good aftewards, and then make sure he has a pee !

If you decide you like, enjoy and would like to include anal as a regular part of what you guys do, then there are other "emptying" things you can do which are explained in great detail elsewhere on the boards, but am sure you have found them by now....

Originally posted by pixielust

OMG he has HUGE hands...but I really REALLY want to do it...

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Worry not, you dont just let him "plunge" all three fingers in at once ! Start with one, when that feels ok, go to two and when that feels comfy, pop in the third. Once he can move those in and out comfortably, you should be ok !

One word of caution, your other half should not use the hand he has been using to "relax" you for vaginal stimulation. The bacteria in the two places is not exactly compatible ! As soon as it is convenient to do so, make sure he washes both his hands and his cock, but good !

Originally posted by pixielust

Thanks for the heads up.

and do normal "sex shops" have lube and stuff like that? I've checked out that thread that Ang has recommended, and I am coming up w/ideas on lube.

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We use ordinary KY jelly in a tube. Thats a personal preference though, what works for us may not work for you. But if you are using condoms, make sure the lubricant is water based.

Hey there, pixielust! Welcome to Lit! There have been tons of threads here on this topic, but so many people are interested that it just re-surfaces. I wrote the following here about 2 years ago, and it may be of some help:


1. Initial lubrication should NOT merely be her juices and his pre-cum. Once the anus is stretched open to a certain extent, penetration/movement becomes more enjoyable, and less lubricant is required. However, when first penetrating, lots and lots and lots and lot - and then even more - artificial lubrication is required. Never, EVER use petroleum jelly. This is a petroleum-based product and is not healthy to be used in the rectum. Although some like Astroglide, any water-soluble (very important!) lubricant is alright. And use lube on BOTH her anus and his penis.

2. Before even attempting to enter her anus with a penis, a certain amount of attention should be paid to this part of the body. Guys, this means using your tongue and then inserting a well-lubed finger first. Preferably, you should also try to get a second finger in as well.

3. When entering a woman's anus with a penis, she should push out as though she is having a bowel movement. Yes, I know, gross - but trust me, when that penis is pushing in it HURTS! However, if, while the man is pushing in, the woman pushes out, she will find that, in most cases, he will slide right in. This is the most often overlooked step in the whole process. Women don't have to do this when being entered vaginally, so many don't think they should have to do anything anally. That is incorrect. If she is relaxed, at ease, well-lubed, and pushes out at entry, there should be a fairly smooth and easy entry. (not true in ALL cases, however)

4. Once a man has pushed past the rectal muscles, but before he is fully inside, he should S T O P!!!! Do NOT move, not even slightly! Women will feel a certain fullness that may be a little uncomfortable to her. (much like she has to use the bathroom) Also, the rectum is being stretched, and she needs time to grow accustomed to the feeling. Rubbing her clit, or using a vibrator, will usually aid in this.

Too many times men use an anus just as they would a vagina, and they are very different. Patience, time, consideration, and letting her lead initially are all keys. There does come a time, such as myself, where simple saliva is enough lube, and a man can start moving immediately upon entry. But it takes time to build to that level.

I have also noticed that if a man who does not have much experience in anal sex, has already had a first orgasm he much less likely to be in a hurry.



I cannot speak enough about #3! The whole "secret trick" to anal is for you to push out as he pushes in. (Well, along with a lot of lube!) By pushing out, you relax your sphincter muscles and that helps to eliminate discomfort.

As for lube, I've normally used KY in the past. However, just recently I've become a total fan of Eros Bodyglide. Eros is a silicone based lube, so it doesn't dry up, stays slick, and is not tacky. Also, you don't need as much. However, for a first timer, such as yourself, I would say don't skip on the lube!! Eros does cost more and this might be something you wish to consider in the future if this weekend goes well.

KY and Astroglide are lubes that you can purchase at your local drug store or WalMart. For things such as Wet (and you would want the Platinum), Slick, Anal Ease, or other lubes specially made for sexual useage, you would want to take a trip to your local sex shop. I don't know about where you live, but here in So Cal we have sex shops that cater to women so they aren't these dark, somewhat scumy places with weird men hanging out in them. They have wonderful lingerie and quality products along with female staff who make you feel instantly comfortable about any aspect of sexual fun. You can go to your local sex shop and ask the guy behind the counter what to use for anal intercourse, but I always feel a little weird about it. I'd much rather talk to a woman who is friendly and looks like she could be my best friend. (hey, sex shop owners! Ya listening?!?!) It just depends on your comfort level, and you might not have the same hangups that I do.

As to "emptying," it comes down to what you feel comfortable with. Also, how well you know your own body. There are times when I know I'm "empty" and all is fine. And there are times when I know I need to take care of business. I use a Fleet enema a few hours before. Doesn't have to anything you share with your partner - just take care of it yourself. I have engaged in anal play without cleaning out, and while my partner doesn't mind, it really bothers me. So much so that I have difficulty relaxing.

Oh, and even though you and your partner might be really turned on by the thought of anal sex, don't be discouraged if you aren't sucessful the first time. It took me a few tries, and I know of a couple of women here who have experienced the same. But, there are some women who had no problems the first time, so it really is individual. Make certain you are enjoying yourself foremost! Whether or not you actually complete the action should be secondary!

I've been thinking about doing the same thing for my boyfriend. I've read tons of articles about it, and I think I'm ready. I didn't know about that pushing out thing though, so thanks for that!

aegis9591 said:

Lucky fella ! I hope he realises just how fortunate he is to have you !

Include the anal play (part of the relaxation) as part of your foreplay. Make love first so you are both on a sexual high.... but remember.... Clean, empty, relax, lube, relax, gentle, lube, relax etc.....

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I was lucky enough myself last sunday, and it was one of those sensations thats extremely hard for her and I to explain ,besides it feels really good, as for the lil outline of rules stress the foreplay part to get yourself to relax and allow him inside you, if that is what your mostly concerned about - and if it doesnt work out the first time dont stress it happens might work the next or the one after etc you get the point

In addition to all these wondeful ideas so far...

I'm glad I didn't give up.

The first itme I did anal, it hurt alot when he first popped in. Luckily, my guy had done this before and knew to just wait by not pushing in farther until I was ready. But once you get past those first few seconds of burning, let him go in a little deeper. Oh my God, it feels so good. SO GOOD. Even now, it still hurts a little while he goes past the sphincter, but it's heaven from there on out!

Good luck!

Let us know how it went.

Hi,

You can buy lube online to avoid those shops -- check out Good Vibrations, for instance, for a really woman-friendly place with lots of info.

Don't get yourself so zone-out and turned on that you ignore any small discomfort -- better to take it slower than you think you need to, to keep down the discomfort later. I've made the mistake of getting into a submissive go-along, sexy state before, and been sorry later.

You probably already have a good idea if you're going to like this from whether you are sensitive in a good way in the area, so let those sexy feelings be your guide. Rather than concentrating on 'getting it in,' as if this is a goal, and as if it only counts if you are doing deep full thrusts like you would for vaginal sex, why not just experience and savor each new sensation and experience as you go along? It's all anal sex, including the fingers, not a means to an end, right?

The post I just read about popping it (his cockhead) in past the sphincter, made me cringe a little. When he gets to the sphincter, he can give soft little mini-thrusts, very gentle, so it opens -- with lust -- on it's own, like a flower or a mouth. Don't know if I can explain this right, as I feel it more poetically than clinically but I'll try. There doesn't have to be any 'forcing past' or 'going against.' (Don't know that that was what the poster meant, it just happened to strike me that way, so thought it better to say something.) It can all be a 'going with' experience. Kind of like the way you suck in a guy's tongue or give head, only with your ass. Better for You to control the moves, especially that first time, and use his cock as a toy, to play with yourself there.

Btw, like anything else sexual, if it's done right, it doesn't have to hurt.

A quick note on "emptying out"-- in addition to using the toilet before beginning, taking a very soapy shower first is a very good idea. It can make a great part of foreplay and warming up! You and your guy can both wash your ass, playing with it, fingering it, and even beginning to penetrate it with a finger. Then you can progress to the bed and your ass will already be partially warmed up.

Have fun!

Pixielust (cute name BTW) I'd agree with what most posters have said, it can be lots of fun. I'd support the it's best if you are in control of the action bit. Go slow, really slow and take your time. Use massive amounts of lubrication and find out what you like. Some positons work better better than others for us, so you do need to explore. When "done right" in a way that gives both partners lots of pleasure, anal sex can be an extremely intimate thing to do. Don't make the mistake of thinking that most of what you see as anal sex in mainstream porn is generally how it's done. Somehow lube is a rarely seen commodity on a porn set? Don't know if this has been mentioned, but since we're amongst friends...it's okay not to like it as well. Sometimes you get to like it more as time goes by. Play safe and have fun.

Below are a couple of links to two excellent articles on the subject.
http://www.sexuality.org/l/incoming/analrule.html

http://www.sexuality.org/l/incoming/aanal.html

Hey Pixielust,

How'd it go?

Inquiring minds want to know all the sordid details.

-- Slo