"Excuse me but I need a mouth like yours 2 help me forget..."

Seriously, I am having problems sleeping, I am fine then I climb into my bed, still fine, then somehow my mind drifts to a certain person I associate with going to sleep and I get upset. There is also now the added attraction that I am now doing weird things to my jaw when I sleep, causing tooth and jaw problems, it seems I am upset on a very deep level. I am getting a bit plate, doing biofeed back, and all that jazz.

Anyway, does anyone have any ideas? What I am upset about is basically unresolvable for now, some of it just is, there is no way to change it and I guess I will just have to wait out the other stuff but I was thinking of distractions that might work.

I did fall asleep on someone I was imming with a few night ago which was a nice break, maybe it was him, maybe I was just that exhausted.

This is what I have tried:lots of exercise, drugs, warm showers, heating pads, watching wodehouse Jeeve's and Bertie episodes, going to bed before the time that those thoughts kick in, they are time activated in a sense, sleeping in the livingroom, writing everything I think about down so I don't rethink it, hobbies, reading murder mysteries.

A friend suggested placing a personal for someone to tell me bedtime stories but I am not sure I want to wade through that and deal with a new person.

Well I am open to ideas.

Thanks,
Noor

The Best I Can Do

Sleep is a complicated thing sometimes. It's hard to simply shut down when your mind is still doing major thought athletics.

What has worked for me consistently is:

To wake up earlier than you have to
Have a vigorous day (without naps)
Exercise at least 30 minutes each day
Do regular work for 7 to 8 hours
Eat regular, reasonably healthy meals (no eating within 3 hours of going to bed)
NO caffeine
No TV news at all
No newspaper reading in the evening
No war novels or murder mysteries or other heavy, dramatic reading material at night (try the James Harriot series instead)
Have an orgasm sometime during your day/evening
Going to bed when you actually feel tired rather than going to bed at a particular time

Follow these guidelines consistently and you may find your sleeping issues are resolved.

Good luck!

Noor,

The definitive book on sleep disorders is The Promise of Sleep by William C. Dement and Christopher Vaughan. It was published in 1999 by the Delacorte Press and should be readily available.

Dr. Dement was the researcher who first identified REM sleep and is the father of sleep psychology studies. His book presents well-documented solutions to all known sleep disorders as well as excellent descriptions and explanations of the disorders.

I recommend this book frequently to people who have trouble with sleeping. It's not a short, easy-reading-for-the-public kind of book. Instead, it's the real thing: a book with solid science, thorough explanations, and proven answers.

I know exactly the kind of thing you are going through as I have been there and, as Bobmi likes to say, I even have the tee shirt to prove it.

I could probably pass on plenty of advice taken from the book, but it's far better for you to read the descriptions of the various causes of sleep disorder so you can best determine how to address your problem.

Good luck. I'll be thinking of you.

Oh, and by the way: if it were me in your shoes, I could never go to sleep by reading Bertie Wooster and Jeeves stories as I would be laughing way too hard to relax.

Thanks. I am trying your suggestions and I requested the book from my library. I actually read the book when it came out but more so for my brother.

Anyway I am sleeping a bit better, at least not staying up until dawn, but some of the stuff moved to yesterday day, uggh....

any further suggestions would be welcome as would maybe some story tellers with soothing voices

Noor

how not to sleep

1) Read old cyber logs from 10 months ago in an effort to distract yourself, then you just have one more person to miss.

2) read travel planning tips, This starts a chain of thoughts of I really love to travel, maybe I should travel, no money, still injuried & in Pt, who knows when I will be done, I'll never travel again...

3) read concert reviews by your freinds of your favorite musicain's show in Portland earlier that night, I need an Al fix bad.

what finally did work last night was rescue remedy and watching an episode of Penn & Teller's bullshit, the one about teaching children, that ends with Penn reading a story to a small child in a straight jacket that went some thing like this... once upon a time there lived a little boy name Ehrich Weiss.... and concluded with I love you, now get out of the straightjacket. It still makes me laugh when I think about it.

Stories

Just a thought....works for me when I have too many things on my mind to sleep. Try telling yourself a story...in your mind....when you are laying down to sleep. Let yourself get into the story ...focus on it, it will keep the other thoughts from your mind and you will drift off. Also can fuel some nice dreams.

have you tried Lavender? it's supposed to be a really good aid to sleeping...you could try putting lavender oil in a bath..or have some on a hadkerchief and hold it to your nose when you feel you want to go to sleep...or put some on your pillow or a lavender bag under your pillow if you're going to be in bed reading....

Okay, this is really corny and your all going to laugh at me...

But when I have alot going on in my mind as I lay down to sleep, I usually pray. Something about it is soothing and relaxing and I drift off in no time as I list off all the numerous things that I feel I need to. I am not a religious person or anything, but I find the act very soothing.

Re: Stories

WildRose40DDD said:

Just a thought....works for me when I have too many things on my mind to sleep. Try telling yourself a story...in your mind....when you are laying down to sleep. Let yourself get into the story ...focus on it, it will keep the other thoughts from your mind and you will drift off. Also can fuel some nice dreams.

Click to expand...

I do this same thing when I fall asleep, and I've been doing it since I was a child. I think the trick right now is not letting yourself tell stories that will make you miss your special someone, because then you'll get lost in those thoughts again, and spiral in a tailspin. But find a story where the world is magical and happy, where you are happy and in control, and expand on it nightly. Focus on details if that helps, from the clothes that you wear to the names that every character has, to the settings that it takes place in. I have favorite stories that I've told myself that never made it past the first scene because of all the details I made inside my mind.

Re: Okay, this is really corny and your all going to laugh at me...

ChromeCollar said:

But when I have alot going on in my mind as I lay down to sleep, I usually pray. Something about it is soothing and relaxing and I drift off in no time as I list off all the numerous things that I feel I need to. I am not a religious person or anything, but I find the act very soothing.

Click to expand...

I do the same thing. I can't claim a denomination nor a religion, but I know there is something out there...at least, it makes me feel better in the middle of the night to believe there is. And prayer gets me more in touch with myself, helps me feel more centered.

I also like the lavender idea. When I can't sleep, I really go overboard on the stuff, and it helps. Every time.

What also helps...and this sounds weird...but there is one particular guy who really meant a lot to me, who always made me feel safe and warm and loved...and when I really am having trouble sleeping, I spray some of his old cologne on a pillow and lay it on the other side of the bed. Silly, I know, but that cologne invokes memories that soothe me instantly.

Also...when that moment comes, that moment of memory, when that trigger hits...maybe have a good friend there who knows you will call at that time if you can't handle it. Then let yourself rave and rant and cry. And if you can, make a new memory for that time. Invite a good friend over to do something with when that moment rolls around. I did that for several things, and now eleven PM is no longer the hell it used to be.

Two AM is still hard, though.

S.

Try reading something soothing and dull. I've had success with Gladys Taber's Stillmeadow series and Thoreau. Yep, Taber always rhapsodized about Walden Pond but I found it to be the best cure for insomnia I'd ever run across.

I'm in the processes of getting over insomnia. After a year and half of sleeping pills, I'm finally going to sleep without them. Its hard, but worth it. I thought that most of the above advise was very good, but I would disagree on the point of naps - sometimes its easier to nap then to sleep throught the night. I dont' know why. Generally, insomnia doesn't go away by being "really tired" - if you're not tired, then not sleeping isn't considered insomnia.

Another trick would be to create bedtime rituals for yourself - drinking tea, readina particular book, whatever. The point is to train your body to associate certain things with sleep. Also - don't spend time in bed if you're not trying to sleep or having sex. No reading, no sitting around, no watching TV. Again, your brain should learn to associate getting into bed with going to sleep.

If all else fails... sleeping pills can be useful, but I'm not a big advocate of anything habit forming.

No reading, no sitting around, no watching TV. Again, your brain should learn to associate getting into bed with going to sleep.

Click to expand...

You know, it just occurred to me that most kids' rooms have a serious deficit in this regard. Think of it. When it comes to sitting comfortably, a kid who stays in his room, whether he just prefers to hole up in there, needs to do his studying, or has been sent there, doesn't have much of a choice between a hard student chair and the bed, whereas, the living room usually has sofas and recliners and lounges and such.

What's really weirder is the trend in McMansions where there'll be a generously sized master bedroom and then all the secondary bedrooms, which presumably are going to be where the kids are, are no bigger than the cell in a city jail.

This might help to explain why so many kids have a hard time getting to sleep, and then, in the morning, a hard time waking up.

You might also try making a recording of your own voice...

I once made a recording of my favorite book, and hearing the words of a beloved story read the way I hear them in my mind is instantly relaxing. (so relaxing, in fact, that I found I couldn't play those tapes in my car as it made me too sleepy to drive!)

I'm not sure what story or maybe poetry you'd find soothing, but it's an idea. =)

Good luck!



~I enjoy reading your advice on this forum. I hope this gets better for you soon~


Star

Noor I wished I knew this before today, I've been up since 11 last night because I took a stupid power nap at 6. I could have told ya jokes or sumthin' and bored you to sleep haha! Get a mouth gaurd if you find yourself grinding your teeth. I find myself doing that when I'm either sick or my wisdom tooth (that I keep putting off getting yanked) starts acting up. My teeth are torn up from grinding. Hope the tips help you, insomnia sucks

Dear Noor,
having had trouble sleeping myself for more than 15 years,i have some suggestions that did work for me a bit,i hope soem of them help.

No tv and,especially,pc activity before sleep,at least 2 hours before that.The pc screen itself,causes some reaction to the brain,playng with the internal clock;that' s a proven fact.Also,if the activities you have on the pc have even a remote link to the thoughts that interrupt your sleep,there'a a major reason to not go close to it,especially if you keep on thinking about the net activities after closing the pc itself.

Generally speaking,tension awakes when you're in half asleep state,after closing your eyes,like when defenses are down.A difficult thing to do,since it seems sensless at first,is try to FEEL the internal discussion inside yourself,not just being aware of it;it is a difficult task,but really,those nightmarish times are a way from the subconscious to express something that needs to come up;tryn to deny or calm down everything that comes from within is like tryn to shut up a volcano using a cork.At first,tryn just to fel what was going on and sayng it to myself was a bit senseless to me,but it has helped.
Bringing up a nice memory from the past,especially not related with someone who has later caused you pain it's a good thing too,since you can focus on good things only.Otherwise your brain will begin to dwell on negative moments .

Slow,instrumental music on headphones,new age -like,can relax yourself and keep part of the brain busy too,so there it will be less interference.No vocals or rthytm past the 80bpm.

Some fantasy books may help too,they are a complete departure from the reality and give imagination something to work on,like an outlet.No matter how absurd the story is.
Right now i'm also reading some yddish anecdotes,they put me in a lightly mood.
Watch out for anger or guilty feelinfgs,usually they lead to have clenched teeth during nighttime,especially if someone hasn't been trained to face his/her own anger,or,even worse,thinks he /she can't afford it.In every person there's the whole spectrum of emotions and feelings.Anything that comes out it's normal,no matter how strange or unusual.What can set apart one person from another is the behaviour.If i think about hitting someone,i can decide to do it or not(and i'm against it),the dangerous angle is thinking that i can't even think about it, repriming my feelings.

Speak with friends,try to avoid to be alone in your house for too long,if you can.One night,payng a great cost,i did go out even if my body was not in good shape.I did come back with a quieter mood,since i did see many other people and i did stop dwelling on bad things on my own.
Sleeping pills can give you only a temporary help,and they numb you out.Especially if there's stuff inside yourself that needs to come out.But a doctor may help you way more about that,if that's the case.

It may sound crazy,but if you was used to hold a teddy bear when you were a child,why don't you give a try?

If it is possible,try once to sleep with one of your friends and see if things gets better.Girls in a way are luckier with that,since they can sleep together without homophobic fears.Men are men .
About story tellers.there are quite a few publications containing a book and a cd,especially the one for kids.Again ,it may sound stupid,but ,who cares?Anything to make you trough the night.

I've written a few things,some seem stupid ,some seem not so stupid.But they worth a try.Maybe you've fallen asleep reading this!
Remember that those things can be solved.It's hard to deal with everyday life(we both know what i'm talking about), but maybe,how strange as it may seems,crises can be an opportunity to change.Our subconscious remember us that in many ways,some more painful than others.But it is an alarm bell.Sometimes it's wiser than the conscious mind.Shame we can't say to him to shut the f**ck up when we want to.The day we will,we will be ready for a nice jacket with very long sleeves
.Mine's a size 4,please.

May the sun shine on you soon.And childlike sleep be the companion of your nights

awwwwwwwww

you say that your mind drifts to a certain person you associate with going to sleep . I have a similar social phobia like this one. Especially with someone I am intimatelly close to. I have many sleepless nights when there is something wrong in that area. Broken heart insomnia is the only term I can come up with for it. If that makes sense. If that is not the problem disregard this post. One thing I have found that helps me go to sleep when I am dealing with this kind of phobia and to keep me from obsessing (though unhealthy and shouldnt be used long term) is a strong alcohol to take the edge off. Even if it puts you in a temporary depressed state it will give a semi-normal nights rest.

Just a thought...
Taboo

Re: awwwwwwwww

Tabooooooooooo said:

you say that your mind drifts to a certain person you associate with going to sleep . I have a similar social phobia like this one. Especially with someone I am intimatelly close to. I have many sleepless nights when there is something wrong in that area. Broken heart insomnia is the only term I can come up with for it. If that makes sense. If that is not the problem disregard this post. One thing I have found that helps me go to sleep when I am dealing with this kind of phobia and to keep me from obsessing (though unhealthy and shouldnt be used long term) is a strong alcohol to take the edge off. Even if it puts you in a temporary depressed state it will give a semi-normal nights rest.

Just a thought...
Taboo

Click to expand...

unfortunately I don't drink alcohol, plus I am on drugs that I can't have alcohol with but thank you.

I do have some serious pain killers I could take but I would rather not take them right now. Maybe later if I don't get some sleep soon.

For about 7 years I was getting a max of about 1 hour of sleep out of every 48 hours. Don't know how I lasted as long as I did like that... Don't really know what finally got me sleeping either, probably the sleeping pills the doc put me on... but oh well. Every now and then I would just crash for 12 to 18 hours straight... kinda bad looking back, pretty much now I sleep as often as possible. One thing that helped me get to "sleep" was reading books i didn't really have an intrest in. Put me out good.

J

Thanks, I printed all these out and am trying them.

Noor

A few more tips:

Before anyone asks me to substantiate this, I have a sleep disorder, diagnosed insomnia, chronic iron-deficiency anemia, and both depression and general anxiety disorder, all of which interfere with sleep. After a decade I know a fair bit about the subject. I only delurk when I have something to contribute.

If you are willing to stick with it, the "No More Sleepless Nights" kit can help you. It contains a book, workbook, CD, where you can print out sleep logs, and a sleep timer. This is something you put around your wrist and touch, and when you go to sleep your hand relaxes and it starts to time. Once you have trained yourself to hold it at night, grab it if you wake up in the middle of the night, and stop it in the morning you get a really good idea of how long you are actually sleeping. (It sounds hard but it's really not). I believe the website is sleepplace.com. As doctors specializing in sleep disorders, they have a wealth of advice.

Go to a sleep lab and have yourself evaluated. Now. If your sleep patterns have changed there is usually a reason. I not only had insomnia but have PLMS - Periodic Limb Movements in Sleep. My legs jerk about every 30 seconds and every once in a while they jerk enough to wake me up. When I filled out the after-lab form, they asked me, "How many times did you wake up in the night?" I wrote 2. Not quite - in 5 hours? 72 times. Unmedicated I was getting less than 76% efficiency from my sleep. In the words of the doctor? "You must be a VERY tired girl." He wasn't being patronizing either.

Cut out caffeine if you can. I did it and feel much better as far as falling asleep, though now if I have it it affects me more. Also, never have anything with guarana in it - it is something like 100 times more potent than caffeine, and is in a lot of sports drinks. Alcohol may make you fall alseep but it won't be restful sleep and it will wake you later, even if you don't remember it.

You will not ever fall asleep while worrying about not sleeping. It's nearly impossible. Try to think about other things. The No More Sleepless... has scripts of relaxation exercises you can tape and listen to at times like this. If you are and you can't stop, get up and do something else.

Accept that you eventually may have to take medication for it and move on. this of course is only after you have been seen by a doctor.

Your doctor should know about this and do tests to rule out things.
Some of the things that can cause fatigue and/or insomnia:
high blood sugar, emerging diabetes, hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism, depression, anorexia, bulimia, iron deficiency anemia, generalized anxiety disorder, clinical depression, B12 deficiency, vitamin deficiency, heart problems, melatonin imbalance/deficiency, fibromyalgia, mononucleosis, chronic fatigue syndrome...there are so many things. This is why you need to work WITH a doctor. It can also be a little of several things that only interact sometimes, such as times of high stress or certain seasons.
I got quite a bit better when I was placed in a situation where I could only be in bed for 9 hours max. I had to make the most of the sleep I could get. Only do it as a last resort though - the first 2 months were hell.

It's also really easy to fall into a rigid schedule and be afraid to try anything different. Tonight I will not sleep well because I got a craving for Coke Classic and indulged it, but I won't regret it. I got over it and won't have it again for months if not years.

Hope something in this blathering on helps.
Hang in there.