Meeting some from Lit in real life.....

I'm interested in anyone's experience, and when I say someone from Lit, that can also read some one you have met online, and then met in real life.

What intrigues me is this - does the attraction formed online transfer easily to real life? Assume here you know the other person well, looks, personality etc...and have spent months chatting to them.

That first meeting, how did it go? Would you do it again?

I have not met any one from lit but would be willing to. I did meet someone I met on line though. TI was very nice. I took her out for coffee nad then expanded into lunch. We spent the day together and than many nights to follow. I thought it best to ease into it but would not say "no" to meeting some one on the fly...

i've given you my answer before my dear... and I'd do it again in a heartbeat

In my case the attraction DID transfer rather easily from online/phone conversations into real life. I was EXTREMELY worried that it wouldn't though. Not that I wouldn't find him attractive...just worried that he wouldn't want me in real life.

We spent almost 3 months chatting daily over the internet and phone so I'd like to think that we know each other fairly well. Plus it's so much easier to fall in love over the net and phone...it's not the person's looks or whatever you're really interested in...you get past all that crap that people do early on in relationships that fuck em all up. I was totally honest with him about my feelings from the get-go.

The first meeting was slightly awkward for me at least. But after about 2 minutes I got past all the nervousness and felt like I'd known him for years already. And the sex was wonderful to say the least. Especially since we'd spent hours in the months previous talking about our turn-ons...we already knew and there wasn't any awkward "where do i go from here?" moments in the middle of bed-romping.

Not sure if I would do it again though...my (now) boyfriend probably wouldn't appreciate it too much!!

largeguy said:

I have not met any one from lit but would be willing to. I did meet someone I met on line though. TI was very nice. I took her out for coffee nad then expanded into lunch. We spent the day together and than many nights to follow. I thought it best to ease into it but would not say "no" to meeting some one on the fly...

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Thanks largeguy.....how long had you known her for before you decided to meet?

TNRkitect2b said:

i've given you my answer before my dear... and I'd do it again in a heartbeat

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I know Brian....thanks

SkyyAngel said:

In my case the attraction DID transfer rather easily from online/phone conversations into real life. I was EXTREMELY worried that it wouldn't though. Not that I wouldn't find him attractive...just worried that he wouldn't want me in real life.

We spent almost 3 months chatting daily over the internet and phone so I'd like to think that we know each other fairly well. Plus it's so much easier to fall in love over the net and phone...it's not the person's looks or whatever you're really interested in...you get past all that crap that people do early on in relationships that fuck em all up. I was totally honest with him about my feelings from the get-go.

The first meeting was slightly awkward for me at least. But after about 2 minutes I got past all the nervousness and felt like I'd known him for years already. And the sex was wonderful to say the least. Especially since we'd spent hours in the months previous talking about our turn-ons...we already knew and there wasn't any awkward "where do i go from here?" moments in the middle of bed-romping.

Not sure if I would do it again though...my (now) boyfriend probably wouldn't appreciate it too much!!

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You know....what you have just told me seems to be the norm, getting to know someone online first does appear to get rid of the crap that some real life relationships take years to wade through.

tendril said:

Thanks largeguy.....how long had you known her for before you decided to meet?

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we had known each other for about two to three months. We spend many a nights chatting on the phone or IMing each other.

Take a look at this....

I answered here as did others.

Might help if you tell us what type of relationship you have with this person...friend or romantic.

I met my snookum's on here she knows WHO she is

wicked woman said:

Take a look at this....

I answered here as did others.

Might help if you tell us what type of relationship you have with this person...friend or romantic.

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Thanks, I have read through this and one other thread that TNRkitect2b started in the PG.

I'm not concerned with the safety and mechanics of 'how to' and where to' meet an online friend, I have those angles covered! Believe me.

I'm more interested (and I know Im not the only one) in how easily or quickly the attraction that has only been felt online, translates into real life.

Btw....read this relationship as past the friendship stage.

Originally posted by tendril
Thanks, I have read through this and one other thread that TNRkitect2b started in the PG.

I'm not concerned with the safety and mechanics of 'how to' and where to' meet an online friend, I have those angles covered! Believe me.

I'm more interested (and I know Im not the only one) in how easily or quickly the attraction that has only been felt online, translates into real life.

Btw....read this relationship as past the friendship stage.

Click to expand...

If that's the case than I can vouch for the fact that it is possible to take the online attraction and translate it into real life. I think it's important for the people involved to be completely honest with each other so there are fewer surprises.

I was involved in a LDR...we PMd, emailed, chatted, talked on the phone for 8 months before we met...would have met sooner but it was a VERY long distance as well as other factors involved. I will admit that it was strange meeting someone for the first time...knowing so much about them, feeling so much for them, and yet never having seen their smile or looked into their eyes before...feeling the nervousness, excitement so great that it was difficult to do anything beside look at each other, almost in disbelief that we'd been able to make our dream come true...strange meeting someone for the first time knowing you would make love to them shortly...but the attraction in real life was instantaeous for both of us.

Having said that I think it's only realistic to be aware that whether the attraction translates into real life or not, the relationship might not. There are all sorts of factors involved in making a relationship work in real life that aren't necesarrily for online relationships. You need to prepare yourself for this possibility.

Good luck if you decide to take the plunge.

Well I met someone online(not lit) and we chatted and emailed for about a week then we ended up talking on the phone and a couple of weeks after that we met in real life.

It was a little awkward at first,that first body to body meeting. i think we were both nervous that the other would think us repulsive*L* After a few minutes we were fine chatting and giggling and holding hands like it was the most natural thing in the world.


My god..when we kissed it was amazing...in fact i let him do far more than kiss me under a large tree in the public park....


..now I am married to him the online to RL thing really worked for us

I met a very good friend on Lit... we chatted online practically daily for a good while and then finally met in person (I live a long way from him... he flew here)... Both of us agreed not to expect too much and we ended up having a GREAT time together... We still talk quite often, unfortunately not as often as before... We're both in serious relationships as well now... at the time we weren't.

It's really great to have, what I call a "guy spy" who can tell me what my man means when he says or does certain things! At first he was a chat buddy, then I started to call him my online friend, then my out of town friend, and now he's just my friend.

Yes, the attraction was indeed there when we met.

I'm not going to get into details, let's just say this is a cool place to meet someone... b/c they already know your kicks and triggers, as a rule, when you meet. So there's no fear that the person will think poorly of you when you walk in the bedroom with a raw chicken, a jar of vaseline and some rope... (ok, so neither of us did THAT but you get the picture!)

Just take it as it cums

I met someone online -- she contacted me after looking at ads in a decent but now defunct matching service. Her profile looked good, I answered her e-mail, and we traded notes for a week. She was interested in meeting, and we discussed sex.

Now this wasn't a straight pickup. She was looking for a long term stable relationship with someone who could be a good friend and lover. It was both her experience and intuition that I might qualify, and she wanted to put it to the test quickly so that she could move on if things didn't work.

I was floored by how fast she moved, but it seemed right. We were ready to meet after a week, and then I had to break the date (with advance notice) postponing it 2 weeks while I was forced to make an out of town trip.

While I was gone, we talked on the phone for maybe 2 minutes, and that was an accident because of confusion in one of the e-mails we exchanged.

She drove into the city to meet at a restaurant bringing a video for us to watch at my apartment. I had to call the restaurant and have them tell her that I was almost a half hour late. (Unintentional, but possibly avoidable on my part.)

Given all that, I didn't expect her to be there when I arrived. And by now, I had built up real hopes inside myself for her and wondered if my subconscious was trying to sabotage it all for some reason.

The first ten minutes were awkward but we eventually adjusted to each other. Sparks did not fly nor heavenly choirs sign. I was giving 50/50 odds that she'd break things off when dinner was over.

She followed me home, and we watched the first 15 minutes of the movie before I made a move. I was even crass enough to look her in the eye before I kissed her and ask if she really wanted to go though with it.

It wasn't long before we were in the bedroom. I spent the next two hours doing everything I could to give her the best experience, and the sex was good. I pooped out first and had to decline her "you can put it in anywhere you want to, anywhere, just tell me before you do" because I knew I couldn't get/stay as had as required to penetrate.

When she left late that night, I ask if she would like to come back, and got what I considered a luke-warm yes. We IMed a lot the next week, and she came to visit me again the next Saturday afternoon and evening. I was so grateful when she knocked on the door, and did my best to make her feel important, wanted, respected, and fucked.

The next Friday I visited her place in a small village maybe 25 miles away. I planned to just stay a bit, and play it by ear. She had teenagers who where sleeping at friends that evening, and I ended up sleeping all night in her bed.

The next day I met them (which really scared me-- what sane person introduces their kids to a new lover?), and left very early Monday morning so I could stop by my apartment before work and clean up.

That week, I stayed at her place Wednesday night, and I stayed next weekend, and went to her place after work on Monday evening. From then on, I basically lived at her place for 8 months and we formed a tight bond.

I got a job in the same city where she worked (another 25 miles on past her village). She started her divorce (he had been gone for a couple of years) and assumed that we would form a permanent partnership. The break-up (which was my fault and devastated her and her kids) was told on another thread many months ago.

---

I met my current wife online. I wasn't looking, but she did a search of Yahoo! profiles (not personals) for people living in the same city, and I had a home page link which she followed. That had a lot if information about me, from resume to pictures of my kids and some volunteer work I was doing.

She IMed me out of the blue. I wasn't looking or intentionally advertising, though it turned out that my home page was what made the connection with her. I took her as a friend because 1) and I wanted to get back into the university community (she was a staff research scientist), and she was in Biotech (I'm computers) and 2) she was not by picture or profile a match for me, and I was already seeing someone. I sincerely intended it to be platonic, and she seemed no competition for the girl I was seeing.

We attended a couple of lecture together at the school, eventually had drinks, when out to eat a couple of times, etc. and really got to know each other. The first time we met for a drink, we walked around campus afterwards and I was impressed that she was a kindred spirit and had the urge to stand up on my tip-toes and kiss her (she's 6 inches taller) but I made no move and thought that I gave no sign of the thought.

She told me latter that about the same place in our walk, she started thinking "what if he tries to kiss me?" and was relieved that she didn't have to decide what to do. I went home thinking that it was too bad I was attached, and that she was taller and not really my type, etc. because physically considerations apart, we were a good match.

Eventually we went out to a movie, I went back to her place with the hot tub, and at 4AM I was ready to go home because I hadn't been able to do more than slide the top down on her suit. About the time I finally made up my mind to leave, she took me into the bed room. Sex was OK but we were tired.

At 6AM her daughter came home and left while I stayed behind the closed bedroom door and mom went out to see her. Later I found out they had a quit row about mom hiding a man in the bedroon. We went to breakfast at a favorite coffee house of hers and then I went home.

I spent several nights with her, leaving like 4/5AM so as not to be there when daughter woke up, and occasionally spent a weekend when the daughter was gone. Most often she would come over to my apartment for breakfast or for an evening.

We broke off for a couple of weeks when I left the state, but we both had religious experiences that took me back to her. I'd given up my apartment before I left, so I moved in with her.

Nine months latter she took a job 4 states away and I moved with her. 6 months after that we were married.

While we were unquestionably put together, I did give up a few things such as the varied sex life I'd enjoyed with the previous women in my life and occasionally I miss it very much. Plus it was hard to stop seeing the girl I was with when my now wife and I decided to get serious. But overall, it was worth it.

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Women find me, I don't find them. Several have found me online, and there was no problem with meeting them. Some had no chemistry and we didn't meet again. Others became LTRs. I just treat the net as a tool like the telephone, the library, the newspaper, etc. and use it as an adjunct to real life.

I've met a couple of people in real life that I first met online through chatting. With the exception of one person who made arrangements to visit me while on vacation, they were all less than either of us expected. One man that I spent quite a bit of time talking to online and making tentative plans to meet seemed to be going well - until I received that little letter from his wife. He had somehow kept his girlfriend, then wedding, then wife a secret for a good year and a half. We have managed to stay friends, however, so I guess that speaks to developing a friendship before getting into other things.

My current S/O was met through an online dating service. He had contacted me and we exchanged a couple of emails. I dropped the ball and about a year later he tried contacting me again. I felt badly about not following through the year before (I was swept up with "Mr. Married"), so committed to meeting him for lunch. We've been together ever since, 6 months now. Even though we clicked through email, I wanted to meet him as soon as possible to make certain he was on the up and up. However, I wasn't as quick to jump into bed - the poor guy had to wait a couple more months! He told me later he was wondering if we would ever get to the sex part, but it's paid off big time.

For me personally, I just couldn't do the online thing for an extended period (longer than a couple of weeks), nor could I do it long distance. But it comes down to what one is looking for. I wanted some one I could see a few times a week, walk with my hand in his, sleep next to him, enjoy things together. I can't do those things with a computer monitor, so I found it to be very disatisfying. Also, I think one must take online relationships with a certain grain of salt. I've had men come on to me, tell me everything they think I want to hear, only to find out the "Mrs." was well hidden or he was telling the same thing to 4 other women. The hard part about a strictly online "relationship" is that it is too easy to create this wonderful, perfect person in your mind, to give over trust without seeing, to imagine one to be "in love" in a relatively short period of time. Granted, some of these relationships work out, but a lot more do not. And when they don't, they can leave many deep scars behind.

My husband and I first met online (not on Lit). Back then (’93) people gave us strange looks when they found out how we’d met. As to how it went? We’ve been together for 10 years so I’d have to say pretty damn well. I was nervous of course, but that lasted for about 20 seconds. He was the same person I’d gotten to know online. The same guy I’d burned up the phone lines with. The same guy I had fallen in love with. After that first 20 seconds, it was sheer bliss.

Does the attraction transfer? It did for me. I think it can for anyone. The biggest thing to remember about relationships that start off online is to be honest. Once you realize that things are becoming serious, it’s time to cut the crap. Mind you, this is just my opinion, but if you want an online relationship to spill over to a real life relationship, you need to start with honesty between you and go from there. Meeting someone for the first time is stressful enough. With lies between you, it can only go down hill from there. Maybe not right away, but it can, and probably will blow up in your face eventually. Have enough respect for yourself and your partner to be honest from the start.

Would I do it again? I caught my limit. I don’t WANT anyone else. So I’d have to say no.

~Alyx~

Alyx said:

Would I do it again?

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I don't know. If we could turn back the clock to repeat that first week in Boise I'd bet you would.

Bobmi357 said:

I don't know. If we could turn back the clock to repeat that first week in Boise I'd bet you would.

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LOL! Only if we remember to close the window this time!

English Lady said:

Well I met someone online(not lit) and we chatted and emailed for about a week then we ended up talking on the phone and a couple of weeks after that we met in real life.

It was a little awkward at first,that first body to body meeting. i think we were both nervous that the other would think us repulsive*L* After a few minutes we were fine chatting and giggling and holding hands like it was the most natural thing in the world.


My god..when we kissed it was amazing...in fact i let him do far more than kiss me under a large tree in the public park....


..now I am married to him the online to RL thing really worked for us

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Wow...way to go EL!

Thankyou...

lilpriss ...the 'chicken vaseline and rope'? - hey, I know what you mean

ReadyOne - thanks for sharing.

SexyChele - thankyou too, I should add here that I'm not looking for a partner and I'm certain neither is he. I am simply exploring some boundaries.

Bobmi357 & Alyx - thanks, gotta love a success story !

smoke34 - hope you have as much fun meeting your Lit friend as I plan on having