Totally Turned Off

There are things that totally turn me off in and out of the scene.

For starters, if I am chatting with someone online and they send me nude pics before face pics.....two thumbs down!

In real life, bad breath!

Or an extraordinary amount of time transitioning activities during a scene. I know, that sounds awful, but if you are tying my hands and aren't good with knots...well, give me something to keep me occupied and in the head space.

Oh, and whining. Not playful whining from a sub, but real whining! Blech!

What are some of your turn offs?

MissTaken said:

For starters, if I am chatting with someone online and they send me nude pics before face pics.....two thumbs down!

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Dammit. I thought I had a chance, too.

*goes off to mope*

Re: Re: Totally Turned Off

KillerMuffin said:

Dammit. I thought I had a chance, too.

*goes off to mope*

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I could make an exception for you.

But then, I would have to top you.

Turn off in general, to be called a liar. Secondly to be questioned by a submissive when she knows exactly what the answer is already. I live My life My way. I don't need to be questioned.

Also a subbie who doesn't know when to give in to her desires. She thinks she must always fight her urges. For some that is part of their nature to resist and to be forcefully guided. But, while that is part of the thing I love the most, it is also a turn off when it is the same old routine day in and day out.


I won't refuse nude pics anytime. LOL.

I hate it when someone adds me as a friend on one of the Messengers without :

1. Asking My permission
2. Adding an introduction so I can know who the hell they are


Almost daily some ass wipe adds me to his friend list. As if I really care that he saw my name.

Now I will chat most of the time, but only if the person shows he has manners.

Sometimes I read the profiles, and then I am really pissed cause they clearly did not read mine or they would not have bothered me at all.

If you like women to dress up for you, do not bother Me, cause I do not give a shit what you like women to wear.

If you are a swinger, do not bother Me (been there, done that!)

If you are a switch and want a Domme to play with you, do not bother Me.

If you cannot ask me if I mind talking to you....DO NOT BOTHER ME!

All you will get is deny, deny deny...Thanks, but no thanks.

MissTaken said:

What are some of your turn offs?

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Hmmm in R/L:
someone who does not know exactly what it is they want and expect you to miraculously know the answer when they don't!!!!

A person who tells obvious falsehoods and then gets offended when you call them on it.

improper hygiene..(need i say more)??

online:
people assuming that becuz my profile sez submissive i just have to talk to THEM!!!

people who act like i haven't anything more important to do then to chat with them...after i have said i have to go....

Nude pics (either requested from me or sent to me) if i want to see you or have you see me...there will be a discussion before hand...don't assume i want you to look at me cuz you found me on a freaking porn site!!!!
PET

Fake Doms that try to rope you into play, and then end up wanting their ass fucked and to be called a slut...when did the line get crossed, just because I am a sub, doesn't mean I have to please every Dom.

Oh and My lesbian friends who call me a bitch when I flirt with hot guys. so i am bi...get over it!

People who think saying, "Well, that isn't very submissive of you."

or

"You aren't a submissive if you......" is a grave insult.

Our submission is not measurable nor can it be rated, ranked or given stars, stickers or degrees. We are who we are.

And even though we are submissive, we do have gray matter that works well and voices by which to opine. (Unless the One in our life says otherwise? )

On line....

REALLY bad spelling. I am sorry. Maybe I am a bitch, but if someone is e mailing me and wants to get to know me, they could use spell check to make reading their thoughts a bit easier.

"You're not a 'real' Dom." (and variations of this.)

Bad breath is a good one, MissT. As is body odour.

MissTaken said:

People who think saying, "Well, that isn't very submissive of you."

or

"You aren't a submissive if you......" is a grave insult.

Our submission is not measurable nor can it be rated, ranked or given stars, stickers or degrees. We are who we are.

And even though we are submissive, we do have gray matter that works well and voices by which to opine. (Unless the One in our life says otherwise? )

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A variation:

"You're not cut out for this . . ." Generally given after trying to push limits.

MissTaken said:

On line....

REALLY bad spelling. I am sorry. Maybe I am a bitch, but if someone is e mailing me and wants to get to know me, they could use spell check to make reading their thoughts a bit easier.

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Hear hear!

Etoile said:

Hear hear!

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*chuckle* Why am I not surprised?

It annoys me, but I have learnt (mostly) to keep my mouth shut. I made one exception on Lit for one person who was consistently "shacking his head" and the mental images that brought to mind were just too much to bear!

At work, I am way more of a pedant about spelling and grammar. Mine's not perfect (although often my mistakes typos, there are some mistakes I also make consistently), and I never object to being corrected.

Etoile, how does the difference in spelling across American vs English effect you? "Labour" vs "labor" for example?

redelicious said:

A variation:

"You're not cut out for this . . ." Generally given after trying to push limits.

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Another variation is "you're not a 'lifestyler'" or "you're just a 'player'"... except that's where I go "um, I think that was meant to be an insult, but it missed..."

I might spark of a discussion about "why is BDSM a lifestyle?" at some point. I know for some it is, just would be interesting to see where different people stand. For me, my lifestyle includes reading, writing, movies, amateur theare, my huge circle of friends, travelling, vocation, buying a house... and sex (including some BDSM).

Ooops. soapbox alert!

online:

i have very little experience with this, but i have cruised alt.com and have decided that men who post pics of their cocks instead of their faces do, in fact, deserve to be immediatly passed over. (i'm right there with ya, MissT!)

RL:

oh, there are so many things, most of them obvious so i won't mention them. inarticulation in a big one. if, when they speak to me, they sound like their vocabulary is in triple digets, i turn tail and run. a lack of humor. if, instead of laughing, they take some vulgar comment seriously, i'm forced to question them. here's one i just learned because of my most recent dom - being asked difficult questions during a scene. omg, that was really really annoying.

this could easily turn into a long paragraph of bitches and moans, so i'll end it here!

Spelling doesn't really bother me so much, probably because my own spelling is usually pretty awful. Lack of punctuation and paragraphs is much more annoying...or, I forget who it was but awhile ago there were some posters that CAPPED every other WORD for EMPHASIS or SOME damn REASON THAT DROVE ME NUTSSS!

I do often spell in what people consider the "english" version of words although I am very much American, but I have done this as long as I can remember. It is a puzzling habit and I have no idea where I picked it up, but it's too hard to break so I don't bother trying anymore.

Some turn-offs for me are people that are so quick to make an issue out of everything. Some of the things that I see around here that are these big huge horrible deals, I just can't figure out what the fuss is all about. This goes for real life too...people that fuss and fume about petty things and generally make themselves and everyone around them miserable. Relax already, I say.

Body odor is the every-popular one I see, and one for me too. I have no issues or cares about what someone looks like, but dang you better be clean.

One big thing that is a turn off for me online is AV's of people's faces or body parts. No offence to those that use them, but I just really hate reading a post full of usually articulate and interesting thoughts and comments while staring at someone's butt, or having them stare me in the face with some trying-to-look-sexy look. I never have been a very visual person though...even when friends offer me pictures of themselves I find myself thinking, what the hell for? There are exceptions (people I'm intimately involved with in some way) but in general, I have little or no interest in photos of people but never have found a polite way of telling people that.

Hrm, these are pet peeves more so than turn-offs. Ah well.

Sorry, haven't been into online chatting for years. I couldn't stand the cattle calls...

The first questions, when someone is searching for a chat partner...
ASK (age sex kink) and that kind of thing.
And, I never could really understand some of the initial things. LOL, LMAO, BRB, ROTFLMAO, and on and on. And, some chat rooms were so advanced, you had to be a pro with mIRC to even be accepted.

Gay males and transexuals looking for me to beat them, or have them beat themselves. Nothing wrong with that, but there seemed to be a large number of them around, when I was always looking for females who wanted me to beat them. The gays and transexuals just got in the way.

A/and, T/the W/way S/some P/people S/seemed T/to I/insist U/using T/this U/unreadable F/form O/of C/communication. UGH! or is that U/ugh!

Now, in R/L, someone who asks me what I will/can do, or make them do, then doesn't believe me when I explain it to them. I HATE it when they ask the question, I tell them the answer and they then say "You think so, huh."

No, I know so, because I have been doing this for a number of years. I'm not being errogant, I know what I can and can't do or get you to do. If we could just get past the negotiation process, I would show you exactly what I mean. The trouble is, we never get past the negotiation process, because they are just playing games!

I have a few ladies I play with, and they know that I tell the truth when I say something. It is a simple process, really. You tell the truth and develop a trust with another person.

What is wrong with some people? There are some who are always trying to be what they aren't! It just makes it more difficult for real people looking for other real people (see negotiation process, above).

As a disclaimer...
Although I despise the negotiation process, and always want it to be over, this should not be done, if someone isn't secure in doing so. NEVER shorten a negotiation process if you don't feel secure in doing so.

Even if you are negotiating with me...if you are sincere and I see an completion to this process down the road, I will hang in there with you. Don't give in too soon, unless it is your desire to do so.

Always remember... SSC!




Edited for DAMN SPELLING ERRORS!!

this applies to everything...

When they dont listen..

I wish to be listened to.

aolspeak.. "lol" in particular or use of numbers as letters or words. gah!

if, instead of laughing, they take some vulgar comment seriously, i'm forced to question them.

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yep.. that too.

"Anything you want Mistress Netzach"
unless said while I have the canes out and I'm asking you about your preferences. Then that's probaby the best answer.

Arrrrgh! I'm not decision or entertainment central! I do not exist to make choices for the indecisive. I can encourage you to be less indecisive, but I'm not going to eliminate the bs of everyday life (Hell's Kitchen, or Bryant-Lake Bowl?)

I like the thinkin' kind. If I don't like your idea I reserve the right to say so and propose an alternate.

Netzach said:

I'm not decision or entertainment central! I do not exist to make choices for the indecisive.

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Yes! That one I'm with 100%. Some who is completely passive (my description for what Netzach is describing) annoys the hell out of me!

I have a question about these passive comments. Do you mean in general, a passive personality annoys you, or in-scene? The reason I ask is, during a scene, nothing annoys me more than having my Dom/me expect or want constant feedback from me as to what I want, where I want it, how I want it, etc. I'm fine with discussing it beforehand so that each person understands more about the others limits and likes and so forth, but when the scene starts, I need to be able to put my feedback microphone aside and let my top actually top me. So when reading these comments I find myself thinking, does this make me annoyingly passive as a submissive?

In general, I guess I am pretty passive too...usually because I am too easy going to really care where we go eat, what movie we go see, etc. So "whatever you want" is sometimes the answer I give only because I know most people are much more particular than I am and really DO have preferences to where they want to eat or what they want to do.

Another turn off... is..
feeling preasured and doing something I am not ready nor feel like doing,, just so that I wont disapoint the person

Re: Re: Totally Turned Off

EB: I sooo understand you.
especially men from india...
I am like.. Do I know you.. there like no...
I'm like where you find me?? there like I was looking for people to talk to..
there like ASL???

I am like grrr its in my freaking profile!!!
I get ruder and ruder.

it just pisses me off.