On bragging...

Simon: "Bragging is retarded."

Liar: "How so?"

Simon: "Because, it's somebody saying 'like me like me like me', over and over again. And telling somebody to like you is like telling somebody that they need to pee. It doesn't make any difference, and it's just annoying. Nobody can tell me to like them, because that's in my head. I think, and I own that. You can't own other people's thoughts."

Liar (caught off guard that a 5 y.o can link that many thoughts, analogies no less, together): "...um... That's true. But did you have to use that word?"

Simon: "What?"

Liar: "Retarded. It's not a nice word to use about people."

Simon: "Max use it all the time." <pause for serious thought> "Max brags a lot." <pause for more thought> "I shouldn't say retarded. Bragging is not retarded. But it's really really silly."

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Liar said:

Only problem is, now I don't know if I should be insulted of flattered next time someone tells me that I act like a five year old.

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cloudy said:

I would be flattered. Five-year-olds are honest, if nothing else.

(my older son, at about six, I guess, told a cop he wanted to be a policeman when he grew up. The cop, flattered, asked him if he wanted to catch bad guys and protect people. Trey answered, "No, I just want to sit around and eat donuts." )

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Liar said:

I spoke with Simon, 5 year old Moral Philosopher today. Simon likes me, because I don't talk to him in a baby volice like all the other grown-ups. Between bites on a muffin, he relayed his latest piece of wisdom to me:

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Liar said:

...it's just annoying. Nobody can tell me to like them, because that's in my head. I think, and I own that. You can't own other people's thoughts."

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jomar said:

If those are his actual 5-year-old words, go directly to the Ivy league!

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cloudy said:

I would be flattered. Five-year-olds are honest, if nothing else.

(my older son, at about six, I guess, told a cop he wanted to be a policeman when he grew up. The cop, flattered, asked him if he wanted to catch bad guys and protect people. Trey answered, "No, I just want to sit around and eat donuts." )

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Tom Collins said:

*cherry vanilla Coke spew*

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cloudy said:

gotta love 'em. Either that, or keep them locked up until they're 18, and I've had way too much fun listening to the wisdom that the three of mine have always dispensed freely.

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Tom Collins said:

I have no memory of being that witty as a child, but then I bearly remember what happened two weeks ago.

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Nirvanadragones said:

That's a classic.

My daughter's latest word is "appalling." For a nearly 6 year old, I'm surprised at how many things she finds appalling. Tonight, she saw two people kissing in a movie and commented that it was " extremely appalling"

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cloudy said:

mine are a riot, every single one of them.

the youngest has a new excuse every morning as to why he shouldn't have to go to school that day.

My favorite:

little spidey (bored, blase' voice): I don't think I can go to school today.

me: Yeah? Why not?

little spidey: my neck hurts. I think it's broke.

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Liar said:

I spoke with Simon, 5 year old Moral Philosopher today. Simon likes me, because I don't talk to him in a baby volice like all the other grown-ups. Between bites on a muffin, he relayed his latest piece of wisdom to me:

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Dar~ said:

Well, at least I don't feel so bad for being irritated by her sanctimonious narratives. ( I like Simon)

About a year ago, my almost five year old hit a girl. I puled her aside and this was our convo:

Me: Do you like it when you get hit? How does that make you feel?

Jericho: It hurts my feelings and makes me sad.

Me: Well, how do you think Michaela feels when you hit her?

Jericho (after deep thought): I don't' know, mom, I'm not a psychologist.

Me: silence...(what can you say?)

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Dar~ said:

Well, at least I don't feel so bad for being irritated by her sanctimonious narratives. ( I like Simon)

About a year ago, my almost five year old hit a girl. I puled her aside and this was our convo:

Me: Do you like it when you get hit? How does that make you feel?

Jericho: It hurts my feelings and makes me sad.

Me: Well, how do you think Michaela feels when you hit her?

Jericho (after deep thought): I don't' know, mom, I'm not a psychologist.

Me: silence...(what can you say?)

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