poppy1963
Born Yesterday
- Joined
- May 1, 2006
- Posts
- 20,941
Once the ambulance arrived...
They checked me out and determined I was not at death's door...drunk and sick, yes, but not dying.
They did a quick eval/contract with me about suicidal behavior. They could not force me under the circumstances to do anything at all...and I maintained I was all right enough to manage on my own.
These interventions were sufficient to stop a bad situation from getting worse and I stopped the insanity of the night and went to bed.
I woke up the next day and contacted Krav first then the Board in an effort to stop the madness I had started right before the holidays. It was me, not my sister, who has no knowledge of this whatsoever. Still making very poor judgements obviously even though I was more lucid and drinking slowly to try and cope with what I'd created, I tried to intervene in what was happening to Krav and Spence. They never had any part in any of this...Krav believed it. Spence had no knowledge whatsoever.
The next morning, the phone rang...I thought it might be Krav. I answered figuring I was going to tell it all to him. The voice asked if this was Mary and I said: Yes, it is.
It was Bronzeage who reamed me out and encouraged me to do the right things. He never asked for details and I did not give them.
I immediately pm'd Krav and posted my "The Transformation that Didn't Happen" thread and have been making my confessions each step of the way...feeling horrible and defensive and just wanting somehow to avoid all the terrible details of what I'd done out of irresponsible behavior (drinking that much under the circumstances I am in and not condering the consequences and then trying to cover it up for selfish reasons).
As for the problems I am dealing with, these include: A relapse into chronic alcohol abuse, some long-term chronic health issues I no longer wish to or can afford to treat, estrangement from my real life family and friends so as not to take them down this nasty path with me, unemployable with unresolvable financial problems.
So...there it is...my Final Chapter in this drama. I tried a long long time to become a new story in AA's Big Book. Just couldn't seem to get that story written either. Oh well...my middle age crisis...this is your life, baby.
I'm sorry to everyone.
Mary
They checked me out and determined I was not at death's door...drunk and sick, yes, but not dying.
They did a quick eval/contract with me about suicidal behavior. They could not force me under the circumstances to do anything at all...and I maintained I was all right enough to manage on my own.
These interventions were sufficient to stop a bad situation from getting worse and I stopped the insanity of the night and went to bed.
I woke up the next day and contacted Krav first then the Board in an effort to stop the madness I had started right before the holidays. It was me, not my sister, who has no knowledge of this whatsoever. Still making very poor judgements obviously even though I was more lucid and drinking slowly to try and cope with what I'd created, I tried to intervene in what was happening to Krav and Spence. They never had any part in any of this...Krav believed it. Spence had no knowledge whatsoever.
The next morning, the phone rang...I thought it might be Krav. I answered figuring I was going to tell it all to him. The voice asked if this was Mary and I said: Yes, it is.
It was Bronzeage who reamed me out and encouraged me to do the right things. He never asked for details and I did not give them.
I immediately pm'd Krav and posted my "The Transformation that Didn't Happen" thread and have been making my confessions each step of the way...feeling horrible and defensive and just wanting somehow to avoid all the terrible details of what I'd done out of irresponsible behavior (drinking that much under the circumstances I am in and not condering the consequences and then trying to cover it up for selfish reasons).
As for the problems I am dealing with, these include: A relapse into chronic alcohol abuse, some long-term chronic health issues I no longer wish to or can afford to treat, estrangement from my real life family and friends so as not to take them down this nasty path with me, unemployable with unresolvable financial problems.
So...there it is...my Final Chapter in this drama. I tried a long long time to become a new story in AA's Big Book. Just couldn't seem to get that story written either. Oh well...my middle age crisis...this is your life, baby.
I'm sorry to everyone.
Mary
