Aesops Grimm Look at Mother's Enchanted Forest

Aesops Grimm Look at Mother's Enchanted Forest

This thread is still open to new players

link to the OOC thread: https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=464117


Anyone interested in weaving a humorous yet naughty tale where each character is from a fable, fairy tale or nursery rhyme, please feel free to jump in at anytime after reading the posts.

No rough stuff. No nonconsent. Any violence should be cartoonish in nature and serve only silly purposes. (think Princess Fiona beating up Robin Hood in Shrek) No gross stuff this is supposed to be light hearted and fun. Other than that I imagine just about anything goes, as long as it is in the spriit of the tale. (if you have doubts about any scene work it out in Pms or the OOC first!)

In addition to being a character from one of the above sources, the character should have a twist to the traditional role... an off duty side. See below for my sample character.

My character will be Mervin the Big Bad Wolf.
aka Big W or Wolfie
Height 6' even upright, 30" on all fours
Weight 180 Lbs.
Gray fur with white patch on his chest and black tips on his ears.
Sky blue eyes with gray pupils.

With a name like Mervin he had to be big and bad growing up!
Mervin, who truly despises being referred to as the BBW, does not mind being referred to as Big W, his female friends can get away with Wolfie.

He normally walks upright on his hind legs, though he can run pretty fast and cover long distances on all fours. His front paws have an opposing thumb type digit that allows him to manipulate objects the way a human would. He typically wears a bib type patched overalls with only one strap fastened over his shoulder. Naturally his tail pokes out through a hole cut in the seat of the overalls.

Of course Big W, has GREAT big Eyes, and GREAT big Teeth and... well, you can figure out the rest.
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IC: The Big Bad Wolf sits in his favorite chair in his cottage in the enchanted forest one evening after dinner. He is reading the Enchanted Forest Gazette. The article is from the crime log. It seems some little girl broke into his friend Stan the Big Bear's house, stole some food, jumped on the family's beds and broke some furniture before running away with yellow hair streaming in the wind. Something about the story just wasn't right, maybe it was too short...

Big W glances at the clock and realizes he is running late. He has to make it to the FFTVA (Fable and Fairy Tale Villians Anonymous) meeting. Gladiola, the only mildly wicked, was hosting the meeting this week in the gingerbread house she inherited when those nasty children shoved her cousin into the oven.

"I should bring something to give to Gladi." he thinks. Perhaps I will come across a waif in the forest with a basket of goodies... it does seem to happen to me quite frequently."

OOC: Big W doesn't necessarily have to end up in the meeting, nor do any of the other characters, but it is something to set the spirit of the thing. I do hope others see the potential for some fun with this as well.

Gladiola, The Mildly wicked

Her gram had called her Gladiola Green Star after a chartreuse hybrid of the same name. It was a blessing that her ma had only run off with a flock of elves rather than those seven yellow gypsies who were always hanging about, she'd said, but Gladiola was of a different opinion. It wasn't her fault that her skin had a greenish tinge to it. At least she might have ended up with a name like Sunshine if it had more of a yellow cast. Then again...

Gladiola ran a brush through her luxuriant raven hair. If the members of the FFTVA didn't fall into some decidedly nefarious human traps along the way, they would be arriving at any moment. They were starting to get soft and it was about time they stopped being the victims and girded their loins for some defensive tactics more fitting with their personalities. Villains weren't meant to be wusses.

Besides, if they took too long, the canapes would be burned to crisps.

Mervin, The Big Bad Wolf, aka Big W, aka Wolfie

Mervin strolled through the forest, pausing every now and then to check side paths for young ladies wearing red cloaks and carrying large baskets. His ears perked and alerted for the sounds of a happy waif skipping through the forest he easily hears off in the distance the thundering sound of many horses and riders.

"Oh no not again" he grumbles and slips off the path, into the trees, as a several mounted Knights of the Crown thunder down the path. "That damn Humpty Dumpty" he curses under his breath. "Another great fall my ass, its got to be just another case of too much nog for that egg. When will he lay off the booze!"

After the dust settles, Mervin realises that he is drawing closer to Gladiola's house and is still empty handed. He knows it would be incredibly impolite to arrive without a gift for the hostess so he comes up with a hasty plan.

In desperation he heads out of the forest and to a nearby farm. He manages to steal a cow from the pasture, and begins to high tail it to Gladiola's house, literally. He is about to enter the woods when he hears a young man's voice from the path ahead.

"Hey you there Mr. Wolf, what are you doing with my cow?" A young man carrying a sack of goods from the market emerges from the woods to confront Mervin.

Inwardly sighing with relief that it is the farmer's rather dim son who has caught him, Mervin slips into his Mr Smoothie voice. Sort of a cross between a used car salesman and a hip university grad student teaching assistant, convincing and beguiling at the same time. It has saved his tail more than once.

"And a fine cow it is!" Mervin declares. "Only that small problem with the horn on the left side to fix"

"What problem?" says the farmer's son. "There is nothing wrong with that cow. Wait a minute, you're the BBW aren't you? You're gonna trick me aren't you?" his eyes narrow as he glares at Mervin.

Internally shuddering at being called that name, Mervin turns on the smile for the young man. "No, nothing of the sort my good man." Mervin turns to reach for the cows right horn, hiding his mouth from the young mans view, as he does he makes an Ah-OOga sound, suitably impressing the farmer's son.

Mervin then theatrically invites the farmer's son to squeeze the left horn for himself and it is silent. A look of worry crosses the young man's face.

"Can you fix the problem Mr. Wolf? Can you make both horns sound the same?"

"It would be much easier for me to fix them in my workshop deep in the forest." Mervin replied. "But i think I can do a quick fix on the spot for say, oh that bottle of wine and loaf of bread you are carrying home from the market."

The young man quickly agrees to the terms and hands over the goods. Mervin walks around the cow once, poking and prodding it in several places.

Mervin points two digits of his paw at the cow and makes circles in the air, once, twice and a third time before making a fist and bopping the cow on the top of the head, right between the horns. The cow just chews its cud and stares blankly ahead.

"There ya go young man. they both make the same sound now." He directs the young man to the horns. "See for yourself."

The young man tentatively squeezes both of the cows horns and they are both silent. "Hey wait a minute Mr. Wolf! They don't make any noise at all!"

As smooth as ever, Mervin informs the young man: "I told you it was a quick on the spot job, but they BOTH sound exactly alike now. Good day sir." Holding the loaf in one hand and the wine in the other, Mervin whistles all the way to Gladiola's house. Well, not quite all the way, he once thought he heard the swish of a cloak on a side path but was severly disappointed.

Red

Everyone called her 'Red'. They always had done since she was a kid.
Ever since she'd first put on that red cape and skipped off through the woods to visit ailing family members her fate had been sealed.
The fact that Little Red Riding Hood was no longer little and that her 'red riding hood' had become a form fitting, figure hugging red dress that showed her newly acquired curves made little difference.
And even now, she headed merrily through the woods on a regular basis although not to visit the sickly members of her family...oh no...now, Red was one of the highest paid, classiest hookers in the Enchanted Forest.
Although to those not in the know, she delivered cookies and other homebaked goodies...another talent she'd developed over the years.

And so, Red found herself not so much skipping merrily as swaying sexily in her red heels as she followed the path through the woods. She'd been booked for a party at the dwarves cottage and didn't want to be late. Flicking some of her chocolate brown hair over her shoulder and adjusting the neck line of her dress she slipped into the shadows of the forest, picking up the pace ever so slightly as the shadows surrounded her.

Fenia yawned a long, drawn out yawn, stretched her arms, and frowned. She spit out a flock of geese that she had breathed into her mouth, and looked down at the tiny group of ants running around her feet. She shrugged, picked up a wagon full of pumpkins, and popped them into her mouth.

"Yum."

She stood slowly, the barn she had been sitting upon creaking in releaf, and looked around her. These darn little ants .. men they were called. Always shrieking and pelting her with things. So annoying. Ah well. So much for her morning snack. Time to go to the FFTVA.

She took a step, covering several miles, sighing at the sounds far below her. Screaming, yelling, the annoying clanky-sound of those metal-covered ants. Now, some of their sharp pointy things hurt .. a little. She grimaced in mild pain. She lifted her foot, to see several of them smashed flat in her footprint. She shrugged.

"Yer own fault," she muttered at the crushed metal ants, then took another step.

Now, at least, she was away from the annoying little creatures ....

---------------
Fenia
Ht: HUGE.
Wt: Several tons
Shoulder-length reddish-brown hair
Clear brown eyes

Fenia is not unattractive for a giant. Few people really notice, as all they see is her massive foot as it crashes down on top of them. But, she doesn't really care. She has a good thing going here on Earth, and a little nest-egg back home. Oh sure, she had sworn to find Jack and do the whole "Fe Fi Fo Fooey, grind his English bones to bread, yadda yadda" bit .. mostly to satisfy Father's friends. Father had been an idiot not to look after his castle more closely anyway .. and how he was a canyon. And, she inherited that castle, several tons of gold, and a magical piano that Jack simply couldn't manage to get down the beanstalk.

Cindy aka Cinderella

"Cinderella, Cinderella where are you?" Stepmother screeched.

Where I am, jeeze, this woman should know. She sends me down here just five freakin minutes ago, to beat out the rugs. This woman gives me no rest. Always telling me to do this or that. Then her "precious" daughters.

Don't get me started. They were ugly and just as mean. One even had her eye on the Prince. No way in hell that girl will get lucky. She better go see a witch about a potion before she goes to the ball. I tell you this house is full of itself. You've only just begun to see whats in store.

*******************************************************
Everyone knows Cindy but just incase

Blonde hair when allowed to bathe
Blue eyes
about 5ft 5
105 lbs

Lives and works in her home inhabbited by the three bitchiest women alive.

Lum the furry tentacled monster came strolling down the path when a small man carrying a fairly large book stopped him in the middle of his path.

"Um, excuse me, sir," said the ever polite Lum, "but you're blocking my path."

"Of course I am," the small man told the tentacled monster. "You don't belong here."

"Of course I do. There are plenty of babes here looking for a tentacle lovin' Sugar Daddy."

The small, officious man held out the giant book. "This thread is reserved as a parody for characters that are native of fairy tales."

"Oh, well, then I belong here then. Surely you've heard of Snow White and the Seven Tentacled Monsters?"

No answer.

"Ali Babbi and the Fourty-Limbed Tentacle Monster?"

No answer.

"Not buying any of it, are you?"

The small man with the large book pointed to a conveniently located interdimensional door.

"I'm afraid you'll have to leave, sir."

"Can't I take a couple of fairy tale babes on the way out? I'm sure I can them whistling Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho in no time."

"Out!!"

"OK, OK, sheesh. I'm heading over to superhero parody threat anyway. What WonderBabe can do with that golden lasso has to be seen to be believed!"

The village hall had been rented one month and three days ago. The white rabbit checked his diary and put it back in his garish yellow, white, green and crimson vest (waistcoat).

He paced up and down in the depth of the greenwood and consulted the large chronometer in the other pocket. Well, yes, his rational brain said, you are two hours early but you couldn't be too careful. Didn't want to be dashing everywhere crying, "I'm late, I'm late."

Finally, a crone appeared from the village and stared at him bleary eyed.

"Morning sir," she yawned the words halitosisilly at him and he flinched back, whiskers a-quiver before managing a tight tipped smile (and nibble of grass for comfort).

He thanked the peasant and hopped inside the hall where the FFTVA meeting was to take place.

He immediately felt better and started arranging the chairs into a circle as per the handbook. He recalled that, in case of creatures of - well, frankly, unusual stature, he had a duty to cater for them.

He mad the tiny chairs for the church mice and left a notice otside with the county sherriff that the area might be needed for the accomodation of feet, large.

He checked his check list. It seemed OK. He paced anyway, the worrier that he was.

Pam sighed, "Foolish boys." Her brothers Peter and Paul never seemed to learn from their mistakes. After losing their homes to the BBW they had moved into her brick mansion and made themselves at home. Mind you, it wasn't that she regretted letting them in to protect them from their silly homes of sticks and straws but they had decided that her home was so nice that they wouldn't need to move out.

Last year, Pam had put her foot down and insisted that they build new homes and get out of her house. She loved her brothers but they tended to turn her home into a sty.

What had her sighing now was the boys, well they were old enough to be men, but she just couldn't call them men while watching their latest venture. Always trying to find the easiest way to make money, the boys had sold real estate at the swamp, collected green trading stamps, made Pet Rocks to sell at the castle, and collected apples for the Queen. Of course they hadn't known the Queen used the apples to poison her enemies.

This month's new money making scheme was creating bundles of three. They had heard from Goldilocks, a student at the village school, that Fairy Tales always did things in three. Why they thought people would need 3 toasters or 3 microwaves or three socks Pam certainly did not know. But at least the boys had build their own house, this time out of rocks, and were out of her place. They had also started dating friends of the Little Match Girl. Perhaps, Pam hoped, they would settle down, get real jobs and marry Gretel and Alice.

Meanwhile, she had to get busy sewing new gowns. The Prince was having a ball again soon and that meant new gowns were needed for all the women in the kingdom. Not to mention that it was time for the monthly FFTVA meeting. Pam wasn't sure what exactly went on at those meetings but she always got several customers the next day needing new clothes. Somehow the clothes they wore to the meetings always ended up with such a multitude of stains they were impossible to clean.

Guido, Chapter Boss of the Confederated Union of Mineworkers Local 1/8

Guido, the self appointed chapter boss of the Confederated Union of Mineworkers, Local 1/8
Race: Dwarf
Height: 4’4”
Weight 200lbs

Guido is a made dwarf. He has recently successfully taken over operations of his cousin Doc’s Diamond mine. He has moved in a crew of underlings to help. He has a clean shaven head, on which he wears a pork pie hat. (If confronted, he will swear quite forcefully that he is NOT suffering from Dwarven pattern baldness and that he wears his hat all the time because he WANTS to.) Guido typically wears baggy brown trousers and a sleeveless white T-shirt. He wears layers of gold chains around his neck, they often tangle in his long white beard. On his feet are a pair of work boots.
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IC:

Guido looked around the new meeting hall of the newly formed Confederated Union of Mineworkers Local 1/8. Formerly known as the cottage of the Seven Dwarves, it housed living and meeting quarters for his assigned crew. The Seven “Other Dwarves“, or as Guido preferred them to be referred, the upstanding ‘Talyan-Dwarven Gem and Olive Oil Producers, had muscled in on his cousin Doc’s diamond mine. The cottage quickly became part of the spoils, and was immediately named the new local's headquarters.

Guido removed his hat and scratched his head. He sighed to himself: “My Cousin Doc had a real good crew, even if dey was naïve when we was sniffin around da mine.” Look at da bums I got:” He ticks their names off on his mental roster: Touchy, Feely, Gropey, Creepy, Sleazy and oh yeah, Slutty. Now dats one hinky dwarf if ya asks me!”

“Geez, at least Doc’s boys had dat bimbo when dey was here. Da closest we come is a gender confused 200 year old voygin! I bets most of dese bums is never seen a skoit before, er a dame I mean. Slutty has too many of dem skoits for a proper dwarf. We’ll dial em in tonight, at our membership party. Dat Red’s one hot numba!”

Guido heads outside to see how the chapter’s signs are coming along. Gropey and Sleazy were putting CUM everywhere. CUM on the big sign in the yard, CUM over the door, CUM on the door, CUM in the window and CUM on the maillbox.

“Waddafuggyadoinn!” Guido yells at them. “Nobody wants ta walk up and see CUM all over the place. I tolds ya morons to spell it out on da building and to abbree, abbrev, er uh, shoiten it for da mailbox!”

The ruckus brings Touchy, Feeley, Sleazy and Slutty outside to see what is going on. They watch their bossman Guido berate their brothers, silently delighted that they are not the object of the abuse this time around.

As one the dwarves turn to face the distinctive sound of heels clicking on the path coming out of the forest. They all sigh, well except for Slutty who gives out a bitchy “Hmpf”, as Red, the evening’s hired entertainment slinks out of the woods and up their path.

The outsider listening in could hear their hearts beating in unison: “Boom, Bumpa, Boom, Bumpa, Boom, Boom, Boom” as Red makes her way up the walk.

Red stops in front of Guido and places a hand on one hip. In a voice, hot enough to melt the largest of icebergs in seconds, She smiles devilishly and says: “Hello boys”

(wait for it reader.. )

(you know its coming…)

(it could in no way be avoided…)

(ok enough already…)


“Hi Ho!” the dwarves reply in unison.

Red and the dwarves

Red’s blue eyes widened slightly as she saw the ‘CUM’ covered cottage, giggling a little she wondered what else would be covered in it by the end of the party. Swaying her hips slightly more than was necessary, she followed the winding path from the forest towards the house and the seven vertically challenged individuals stood in front of it. All with their eyes fixed on her and their mouths hanging open slightly.
Standing in front of Guido, the dwarf who had hired her, she moved her weight onto one foot, thrusting one hip out and resting her hand on it, the other holding her basket of provisions by her side. She licked her red lips a little and smiled seductively at them all before almost sighing,
“Hello boys…”
“Hi Ho…” came their eager response.
Red slowly bent forwards at the waist, ensuring they all got a good look at her cleavage in her tightly fitting dress and ran her fingers around the side of Guido’s face, stroking his beard playfully.
“So…is everyone here…? Or do we have to wait before we can get the fun started…?” She winked then gasped as one of the other dwarves shot forwards and began to animatedly hump her leg. “I’ll take that as a yes for the fun to begin now shall I…?” She sighed slightly, these dwarves always seemed to have more sex drive than their smaller bodies could cope with. Placing her basket on the ground, she stood up, shaking slightly as the dwarf continued to hump against her knee and untied the ribbons holding her cloak around her shoulders. Letting it flutter to the ground to reveal her dress, it barely covered her ass or contained her large breasts. She reached behind herself and unzipped it, revealing red underwear that revealed almost as much as it hid. Managing to remove the humping dwarf from her leg for a moment, she slipped the dress off and stood in her underwear and heels before them, her hands behind her back and on her face an innocent expression that really didn’t fit in with the rest of her appearance. “So boys…where do you want me…?” She grinned.

Prince Charming
Height 6'0
Aryan good looks, blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, very metrosexual noble dress.

IC: Prince Charming walked through the forest tossing wary looks over his shoulder as he went. He had bit off a lot more than he could chew and now found himsef on the run through the woods, trying to escape the certain doom that lay behind him.

It wasn't that he particulary enjoyed placing himself in these situations, he just had a wandering eye and trouble with commitment! And it wasn't like they were being very fair! With a few exceptions he really had helped these broads out of a lot of problems! They just didn't understand you can't chain a guy like Charming down! He had to be free to roam...

Still it was unexpected and VERY unpleasant when Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, and the Girl who had saved him being a frog all showed up at his palace at the same time. Apparently he hadn't been as discreet as he thought. He cringed as he thought of the fate of his poor guards, throwing themselves in front of that hurricane of colorful gowns to die for his freedom. Practically torn limb from limb in the face of the rage his infidelity had created. Those women could be very vicious indeed. Apparently it didn't pay to play fast with the ladies of the enchanted forest.

His eyes widened as he saw a vision of loviness swaying down the road in front of him, her red dress hugging her curves. "God I'd love to find her asleep somewhere." He said under his breath as she approached him. "Why hello there miss." He said as she swept past him, barely batting an eyelid his way. He muttered, thinking to turn a pursue her, give her the royal treatment. But he couldn't risk it, somewhere back the direction she was headed there was imminent danger. He'd have to make sure to find that tasty maiden's name however. He turned back and headed on up the road quickly, still shooting glances over his shoulder constantly.

It was the goat that did it.

The goat had been the final straw in a long and arduous pile that had finally broken the camel's back, sending the poor thing plopping down upon the ground in an almost comic cartoony style of fainting.

A goat had kicked his ass.

Kicked his ass, like it was nothing.

How easy is it to beat a goat up? Honestly! Goats are stupid little creatures who stand around and chew cud all damned day. If they were a little bigger one couldn't even distinguish them between cows. The only difference would be the beards.

There would be cows without beards, and cows with beards.

Goats did know how to kick though, and they have some pretty impressive horns sometimes. At least, those mountain goats do, the Ram's horns. Those are pretty impressive. Ok, so, getting an ass kicked by a goat can happen for human beings.

But not trolls, not trolls who have spent their entire lives living under bridges. The whole purpose of a troll is to sit quietly under the bridge, wait for a goat to cross, and then jump up and eat it... grinding its bone to make bread, maybe the skin to fit a decent loincloth, horns can make some nice decoration.

Come on... living under a bridge, a troll needs to find ways to make it look stylish.

But, not anymore.

The troll, Larry is his name... no one ever asked his name before. Probably cause he killed and ate most people (and animals) who walked over his bridge. Still, did it hurt to ask for a name, at least? Trolls have feelings too.

So, Larry decided to change his life. He went to the gym each day, he jazzorcised every day. He went on the atkin's diet, and he stopped picking his nose.

He didn't even look like a troll. Boogers, are the apparent cause of most skin disfigurations. His gray black tinted skin color was nearly peach in sheen. His hair was full and vibrant thanks to Vidal Sasoon.

He still had a stomach, but muscles as well. He looked like he could tear a stupid little goat in half if it ever bothered crossing his bridge again.

A small smile came over his face, as he walked eagerly around under his bridge. He couldn't wait. One more goat, or maybe something bigger, something more dangerous. A camel!

Wouldn't that be wonderful? He could break a camel's back... the ultimate of ironies.

So, Larry the troll, who looked more like a handsome large man, sat and waited for irony to cross his bridge, in the form of a healthy camel with a back that needed breaking...

Finshed taking my agressions out on the rugs, I headed back up stairs. Breakfast needed to be served, and there was no way these girls would ever make anything for themselves.

"Cinderella, I called for you what have you been doing down there?" Stepmother asked.

Not letting me answer she began lining out all of "chores" for the day. The bathrooms needed cleaned, as did her room. After that I was free to head to the market.

Gee isn't she a kind old hag. You know I should tell her how fat she looks trying to squeeze into that dress, which is two sizes too small. My luck I'd get kicked out then where would I stay.

"Yes stepmother, I will make sure it is done," I said leaving the kitchen to bring in her breakfast. I brought in eggs, bacon and toast.

"Cindy, tell my lovely daughters to join me, now" she bellowed.

I nodded and headed upstairs, lovely who in the hell was she kidding. The one had to be 30 pounds overweight, and just like her mother stuffed herself into something too small. Her face, even that was sad. Her nose was too big for her face, her teeth hung out about a foot infront of her. The other sister, the one who had designs on Prince Charming, was worse. She needed serious cosmetic help. Her nose looked like a big ol ball, her teeth, what she had of them were yellower then corn. This girl had been hit by the ugly stick too many times.

Yet here I was a small, petite blonde with the cutest blue eyes I'd been told. The men in the market always whistled as I walked by. My clothes were getting so tattered that they barely covered my ample breasts.

"Girls, you mother would like you downstairs," I told them heading to do my cleaning.

Guido and Upstanding Talian-Dwarven Gem and Olive Oil Producers of the Community

“Yo Red, waddyathinkin disrobin an all in front of dese guys like dat?" Guido scrambled forward and unsuccessfully tried to cover various parts of Red's ample anatomy with his hat. He only succeeded in brushing the soft material of the hat brim over her breasts, his beard tickling her, um goodie basket, as he turned to look at the dwarves.

"Red baby," he started to explain: Deze bums been inna mines a long time an dey ain't exactly what you might call men of da woild like me. Dey ain't never glommed onto someting like you wif dere eyes before and ain't exactly up to it widdout woikin up to it gradual like. See what ya did to poor Sleazy?" He asks Red indicating the dwarf recently detached from her leg and now whimpering at her feet. "Ya gots ta keep in mind dat you is dealin with a bunch of 200 year old voygins. Youse could bump off wunna dem bums actin like dat!"

Touchy, ever quick to take offense, tells Guido: "Now see here Guido, there was absolutely no need to go telling her we are, um, inexperienced." he stomps off into the cottage.

Sensitive Feeley chips in with: "Come on Guido, you should have known that would upset him by now. I can't believe you said that in front of him. I better go and talk to him before he ends up pouting all night."

Guido rolls his eyes. "Ya see what I gotta put up wid, wid dese bums?" He asks as Slutty sniffs and storms off, his high heeled boots tripping him up when they tangle in his beard and oversize hoop earings.

Creepy, so nicknamed because he tends to move and think a little slower than his brothers smiles at Red and says: "Hi Ho!"

Sleazy continues to moan and whine at Red's feet. Gropey eases forward hands outstretched only to have them smacked by Guido's hat. Guido orders Gropey and Creepy: "Ya betta drag dat bum off to da well and dump a bucket of water on him or he will be woithless tomorrow." The two dwarves drag the whimpering Sleazy out of sight around the side of the cottage.

Beads of perspiration begin to form on Guido's head as he fully realizes he is standing nose to nipple in relation to Red's charms. "Dis evenin ain't exactly shapin up da way I thought it would. waddya say we two both gehdouddaheah an find someplace quiet like for a little business propositionining?"

Red and the dwarves

"Dis evenin ain't exactly shapin up da way I thought it would. waddya say we two both gehdouddaheah an find someplace quiet like for a little business propositionining?"

Red took a small step back from Guido and picked up her cloak, wrapping it around herself and, for the moment at least, keeping her charms undercover.
"I didn't realise you boys were...well...that inexperienced...I would have definitely kept the dress on for a little longer if I'd have known..." She winked teasingly. "I do realise though that I'm clearly speaking to the Head dwarf...am I not...?" She let her eyes roam down his stocky figure to his crotch and then back up again. She bent down to pick up her basket, which contained much more exciting items than cookies alone. "Where would you like to go, sir...? I think I saw a thicket that could be quite private...just over there, off of the path..." Swaying her hips obscenely she began to walk away from the slightly flushed dwarf, heading down the path and heading between the bushes into the thicket she had mentioned. Sitting down and making herself comfortable on the grass, she made sure that the cloak was revealing just enough to make sure the dwarf would be more than a little interested in doing more than just propositioning her.

Prince Charming held his breathe, not daring to let a sound escape as he peeked out from the bushes he was hidden in. He had heard them yelling for blood before he saw them, giving him ample time to hide himself. He leapt into the bushes on the side of the road, muttering angrily when his good cloak was torn. Now he peeked out of the brush, praying he wouldn't be found.

The four women trooped up the road, looking around suspiciously.
"He's around here somewhere. I can smell him!" Rapunzel said, whipping her head around, slapping the other few with her impossibly long hair.
"Will you please stop tossing that mangy mane of yours around!" Snow White yelled, throwing in a few obscentities she had learned while living with dwarves.
Sleeping Beauty simply yawned.
They examined the road ahead of them, trying to decide which fork to take. "He went down the right side!" The Prince said, in a high shrill voice.
"Who said that?!" The Girl who kisses frogs asked, staring around.
"Uhhhhhh it is I the magical bush... you know from... the story of the Fox and the Custard Pie!" He said, getting ready to run if his ruse failed.
"Ooooh right that magic bush!" Snow White said, face brightening. "Thanks! Let's go get him girls!" They yelled a warcry and stomped down the right path.
Prince Charming waited a few minutes and stood up, brushing himself off.
"Whew.. that should buy me some time." He said, hurrying down the left fork. He walked for an hour, encountering no one on the path he wondered if maybe he had gone the wrong way. He really needed to pee and was quite thirsty! But he couldn't turn back.. no certain doom was behind him. Finally though he came to a house. He looked at the name on the mailbox. "The Nasty Stepmother, Ugly spoiled Stepsisters and Cinderella? Ooooook..." He walked up and knocked hard on the door. "Helllllooooo? Is anyone home?? Prince Charming needs to use your bathroom!"

Cindy aka Cinderella

I swear I've never met a messier group. It's awful. I cleaned the bathroom, then made my way to old hag's sleeping quarters. I know she "entertains" men in here. My first question is, who would....

Nope not even gonna think it. Its a road I sure as hell don't wanna travel. I'll just finish here and head to the market. I always run into someone interesting along the way.

Putting away stepmothers toys, I thought geeze this woman must think she's something special. She spent all my fathers money on these things. Giving none to me, like I couldn't you a little something.

Okay all done, better let her know I'm off to the market. She'll have something else to add to the list I'm sure.

"I'm leaving stepmother," I told her at the base of the stairs.

As I opened the door Prince Charming was there needing to use the bathroom. Good thing I cleaned it.

"Please your magasty, go right ahead" she said.

I waited hoping he would take me to the market with him.

Guido and Red

"I didn't realise you boys were...well...that inexperienced...I would have definitely kept the dress on for a little longer if I'd have known..." She winked teasingly. "I do realise though that I'm clearly speaking to the Head dwarf...am I not...?"

"Heh, heh, ya got it toots, I'm da boss dwarf here" Guido remarks as he leers at Red. "Dems what gets along here, do as I tells em." He is definitely displaying much more of an aggressive attitude outside the presence of the other dwarves.

To himself he thinks: "I never said nuttin about all of us bein voygins, Dis could be time for some fun wid da lady. especially now wid nun of dose knucklyheads around ta interfere." Guido shudders as a side by side image of Red and Slutty makes a horrific but thankfully brief appearance in his mind.

"Where would you like to go, sir...? I think I saw a thicket that could be quite private...just over there, off of the path..."

Guido nods as Red proceeds down the path. He watches her hips sway and thinks to himself: "More action in dat baby den two of da ancient clans fighting over a new seam of ore." He spins his hat by the brim between his two palms, places it back on his head and follows Red down the path to the thicket. He slips into the thicket to see Red reclined, her cloak positioned just right to offer up a peek at her creamy thighs.

Guido strokes his hand along the inside of one of those thighs the cloak falling open to reveal more of Red's amazing body. He thinks to himself: "Dis broad cost a lot of money and now no party." Then an idea springs into his head. "Do ya takes requests?"

"Ya sees I always envied my cousin Doc." Guido explains. "I always suspected he was doin da Snow White broad. I could really gets into dat!"

Prince Charming smiled as the door opened. He felt like his bladder was going to explode! Still he couldn't help noticing the girl who had opened the door. "Ah you must be Cinderella." He looked her over. Her clothes quite dingy but she looked well built. He licked his lips. Maybe he should ask this girl to marry him? Or maybe she needs saving from something or other. Gawds man! Aren't you in enough trouble for this stuff anyway. Still, you can take a player out of the game but you can't take the game out of the player. He bowed over her hand, kissing it. "The stories of your beauty truly do it no justice." He smiled at her. "Now then.. about that bathroom..." He walked passed her, searching the residence. It was quite large actually. "Wow you guys do well for yourself..." He said.

Suddenly the pounding of feet from down the stairs made him turn his head to see three hideous creatures charging towards him. "Good Gravy!" The Prince yelled, searching for his sword, which he had forgotten at the palace when he fled. "Troll attack!" He screamed, turning to run out the door, but being tackled hard from behind.
"What do you mean troll attack?" The older woman asked, helping him to his feet. He realized these weren't trolls but the Nasty Stepmother and the two Ugly Stepsisters. Whoops... "Ummmm I was just... having flashbacks to Fairynam... lost a lot of good friends there." He hurriedly explained standing up. Crikey these women were ugly! "Ummm so, nice home you have here Miss." Prince Charming said, trying very hard not to stare at the facial deformities these women were suffering from.
One of the daughters stepped forward, thrusting her chest out at him, nipples clearly erect. Dear lord... one of them was about an inch bigger than the other. "Oh Gods... I really need to use the bathroom." He held his lunch in as he ran for the room, closing the door. He leaned out the window, retching loudly, his need to urinate momentarily forgotten. He breathed in the fresh air, trying to get the images out of his mind when he heard the door open behind him. One of the sister's slipped in and closed the door behind her.
"Your majesty. I know why you have come here..." She said and he gulped loudly as she began to strip her clothing off.
"Oh god no..." He said, which she took as sign of encouragement, stepping forward to grope him. He felt the bile rising in his throat again. "No don't touch me! The Wicked Witch put a spell of burning on me! It hurts where I pee!!!!" He screamed and ran past her, busting the door down with his shoulder and running out into the main chambers. "I HAVE TO GO NOW!!" He yelled as he dashed out the front door, grabbing Cinderella by the hand as he went.
Once a player always a player.

Pam

Pam held the reins of the pony as her cart rolled up to the front of castle. Piled up behind her were an array of colorful gowns that looked like something a Fairy Godmother would produce. Truth be told, FG often got her gowns from Pam and just waved enough fairy dust around to make it seem as if they appeared magically. Some of the females in the magical kingdom were not as bright as they were beautiful. It was amazing how many of them fell of those old pick up lines of Prince Charming. Pam shook her head in amazement thinking of the gossip that had circulated about the Prince. If even half of them were true, that boy needed years of therapy. Come to think of it, so did those princesses. Must be the in-breeding among the royalty set, she decided.

Tooling the cart around to the back of the palace, pigs of course were not allowed in the front door. She knocked loudly using the cricket-shaped door knocker. No one would say that the residents of this castle hadn't heard of Feng Shui. When the young girl opened the door, she oohed and ahhed at the rainbow of colors that could be seen in Pam's hands.

"Is that the end of the rainbow, you hold there?" the young undermaid asked.

Pam laughed so hard, she actually oinked, which embarrassed her to no end. She had been working on eliminating that sound from her repertoire of sounds for years now. But sometimes when she is caught off guard, the oink would sneak back in. "Noink, it is goinks for the ladies of the paloink."

"Excuse me?" said the child. "I will get the housekeeper, Mrs. Sprat."

Mrs. Sprat looked like she weighed three hundred pounds and it was rumored that she cleaned not only her plate but that of her husband's as well. She was, however, an excellent housekeeper and had been working at the palace since long before Sleeping Beauty took her little nap. She and Pam were good friends and Mrs. Sprat invited Pam inside for a spot of tea before Pam took the gowns upstairs. Apparently all the princesses had left the castle without telling anyone where they were going, although one of the grooms in the royal stables thought he saw Prince Charming out for a walk in the same direction that the ladies took a few moments later.

Since Pam was forced to wait for the return of her customers, she not only settled in for tea but for a couple of scones with Mrs. Sprat's famous apple butter. Pam had always thought that had her brothers cornered the apple market for the housekeeper instead of Queen, they would have had more customers for that business.

Sighing with contentment, the two hard-working ladies settled in for a snack and some gossip.

"Have you heard about what those crazy dwarves are up to now?" asked Mrs. Sprat. She then proceeded to tell Pam all about the battle between Doc and his cousin, Guido, and the new formation of the miners' union.

He strolled back inside and pretended to be calm.

He pulled out his watch again and listened to it. It hadn't stopped. He tried to wind it but found it fully wound. He paced.

It would not be his fault if people didn't come on time. No, that was quite clear. He took a blood pressure tablet and looked outside and scanned the roads for approaching villains.

He had made some notelets made of card and put the names on them of people he thought might be attending. He had then put them on suitable chairs. as it really wouldn't do to sit the wolf next to anything even remotely maidenly or porcine. Some people tended to just - snap - if the temptation was too great.

He paced again though there were a few hops in amongst the paces; his rabbity nature tended to come out at times of stress.

He checked his watch again. "Oh dear, they're late, terribly late."

Cindy aka Cinderella

Following Prince Charming, Cindy was glad to be out of the house. That place was all to crazy for her. She wondered if those girls ever even look in the mirror. The Prince had thought them trolls earlier, Cindy knew he'd tried to hide that. Inside she knew that, she'd seen them every day, and Cindy knew a that calling them a troll was way to nice for them.

So this Prince, he was pretty cute. His blonde hair and blue eyes, wow. A girl could get used to being with him. He was strong not overly, but you knew he could handle himself.

"Your majasty, I just need to get to the market then head back to the dragons layer, I mean home," Cindy told him.

Red and the fantasy...

Red smiled her sultriest smile as Guido ran his hand up her leg, nudging her cloak open to reveal most of the rest of her.
"Well, now that you have me here, sir...whatever will you do with me...?" She fluttered her long eyelashes and sighed.

"Do ya takes requests?"

One of Red's delicate eyebrows curved with curiosity as she nodded.
"Ya sees I always envied my cousin Doc...I always suspected he was doin da Snow White broad. I could really gets into dat!"

"Aaaah...I see..." Red sat up and pulled her basket closer. "I think I may have a few things in here that might help set the mood for you..." She winked at him before rifling through it's contents. In reality, Red knew she had some things in there appropriate for a 'Snow White' fantasy...it was one of her most popular requests...that and the Little Mermaid, although that one took a lot more preparation and a rather large paddling pool. She withdrew a shoulder length black wig which she quickly donned, hiding her own waist length locks beneath it. Retrieving next some ruby red lipstick and paling face powder, she applied a little of each to tone down the natural tan of her skin and give her lips a little extra emphasis. Giving herself a quick glance in the compact's mirror, shushing the voice that piped up to tell her that 'she was the fairest of them all', that would teach her for buying second hand toiletries from the wicked Queen. She pushed the basket aside and turned back to give Guido her most innocent look, twisting some of the raven black hair around her finger.
"So...did you want to show me how you treat a 'Hi-Ho' like me...?" She asked in a sing-song voice, untying the cloak to leave her in her underwear once more, now kneeling before Guido who was looking happier by the moment.

Guido gets a Snow job.

Guido had to admire the skill of a true professional at work as he watched the transformation taking place right in front of him. He was stunned watching the sultry seductress change bit by bit into the blossom of innocence. Red sure knew her business... and her clientele. "How did she know dat was wat I wuz gonna want?." he puzzled briefly.

With Red kneeling in front of him, twirling her hair, Guido suddenly felt like a giant. He thrilled to tower over a woman like this. He knew he was big for a dwarf but still never taken seriously by most human women, much to their chagrin.

You see it wasn't only his frame that was solid, bulky and firm. (Most of his furniture was like that too, because dwarves have higher density than humans. You see density depends on mass and volume, kind of like comparing how much stuff you have and how much room you need to keep it.. um, oh yeah, though that's not what that was meant to imply heh heh heh... so back to the story)

Guido knew his business too, so maidens were usually very, very pleased indeed. He was always amused by their surprise; but after all, the most basic aspect of being a dwarf is going down, deep into the depths, skillfully probing, ever seeking that rare spot and coaxing forth the bounty of Mother Earth. "Some career skills is handy in da most in-ta-res-tin ways." he thought.

"So...did you want to show me how you treat a 'Hi-Ho' like me...?"

"I can almost believe dat dis is really her, dat dis here broad is Snow". Guido thought, watching as Red gave a little pout with her full lips, her head held just right so that the black bangs fell across her forehead, partially obscuring one eye.. yes she had the role down pat. Guido reached out with his hand to cup her chin, tilt her head up, and lock gazes with the one feature that Red couldn't mask. Her piecing blue eyes held his and drew him back to the moment.

Guido realized she might appear the epitome of youthful inexperience, but the smoldering fires burning behind those eyes betrayed the lusty wench inside.

"Its time for youse ta contribute to da de-link-wen-cee of dis miner." he replied as he ogled her luscious curves. "Time ta play a game I likes ta call: Who's your Prince Now!"

Guido suavely tosses his hat aside; with both hands he slowly starts to lift his t-shirt up to reveal the six-pack abs and broad chest that would make most romance novel cover heroes cry in shame, knowing they could never achieve such rippling masculinity. The effect was, however, slightly spoiled when his chains, beard and t-shirt became knotted and twisted together.

"Uh, Red baby, could youse gives me a hand?" he asked as his arms became entangled as well.