Collars

I'm curious about collars and how you use them and why. What do they mean to you, when do you give/receive one, and what do they look like?

Feel free to post lots of pics. I'm very curious to hear what you all think.

For *me* a collar is a commitment.

I wont accept one from a Dom I dont think is in this for the long haul, which is why I wont accept one from my current Dom, much as He says He wants me to wear one.

We're having fun, but this isnt a 'relationship' or a long term arrangement.

Just a quick gallery of some things that I like.

I normally prefer something very simple with a minimum of extra ornaments (like studs or whatever). I would typically go for something like this:
http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/6246/3103smm2.jpg

That one might be a little hard on her neck, so I may find something with a bit of padding to make it easier to wear over a longer period:
http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/5016/3076sxb7.jpg
I particularly like the extra rings because it allows for more doo-dads to be latched on.

This one is really nice, and a bit unusual compared to what I typically go for... but I think it's beautiful and feminine. In the future I'll consider this kind of a collar if I have need for one again:
http://img177.imageshack.us/img177/2904/slavering300mv1.jpg

I'm also a big fan of leashes. I like them shorter; 24" is the maximum. Longer is impractical. Chains look really nice (as you can see in this photo), but I think I prefer leather straps. They're softer and I think they look better.
http://www.solesurvivorleather.net/mmSOLESU/Images/300x300/978.jpg

I prefer simplicity and a somewhat subdued style. I don't like to have a lot of fancy stuff with extras all glued on. I like the basics a lot more.

That having been said, I think there's also some need for a collar that can be worn in public and looks better with dressier clothing. I don't think that putting a thick chunk of leather and metal together with a nice outfit is such a good idea. Something like this is one of many options for a softer look without having to leave her with a bare neck:
http://img213.imageshack.us/img213/7181/rosecollarhr6.jpg

Are you looking for views as to if/why/how people like or don't like collars, or are you just looking to compare different collar styles?

chris9 said:

Are you looking for views as to if/why/how people like or don't like collars, or are you just looking to compare different collar styles?

Click to expand...

Anything and everything. Whatever you feel like talking about. Was happy to read what Wolfshadow had to say, and will be just as happy to see whatever you do.

To me collars don't have the symbolic meaning they are given by many BDSMlers. It seems too dog-like to me. I believe it's a point where I could adapt to a potential Dominant after some discussion and him explaining exactly why he feels this sign of our relationship should be there. I feel more like it's enough when I know and he knows that I'm his, that we have a loving relationship. The only symbol of relationship I ever want to have is a wedding ring for both of us.
Because of that I see collars more as every other toy. I believe they can be fun to play with, to attach stuff to.

I actually *just* finished making my own collar, and Master approved. It is a faily simple black velvet collar with a silver buckle. There is something so .. meaningful to me personally when making our own playthings.

My collar is my Master's mark of ownership. I do not considering it as a 'dog collar' .. but the way I see it is that He owns me .. and the collar is simply a sign of that. I wear it at all times while in the house .. it used to be just during playtime but about a month ago, He decided to start taking his control further into every day life. I was thrilled Now I wear a sgold choker chain with a single diamond pendant during work and when we have visitors of the non-kink variety

And a pic is below of my finished collar
Finished Collar

satin_coals said:

I actually *just* finished making my own collar, and Master approved. It is a faily simple black velvet collar with a silver buckle. There is something so .. meaningful to me personally when making our own playthings.

My collar is my Master's mark of ownership. I do not considering it as a 'dog collar' .. but the way I see it is that He owns me .. and the collar is simply a sign of that. I wear it at all times while in the house .. it used to be just during playtime but about a month ago, He decided to start taking his control further into every day life. I was thrilled Now I wear a sgold choker chain with a single diamond pendant during work and when we have visitors of the non-kink variety

And a pic is below of my finished collar
Finished Collar

Click to expand...

I understand that a collar is often used as a mark of ownership. And don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to read about those who collar or get collared and their accounts of happiness about it. It's just that to me this symbol would be unnecessary.

The reason I answered again though is to say that I really like your sig line. The love and the choice you express are what submission in the D/s sense should be about (in my opinion).

chris9 said:

I understand that a collar is often used as a mark of ownership. And don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to read about those who collar or get collared and their accounts of happiness about it. It's just that to me this symbol would be unnecessary.

The reason I answered again though is to say that I really like your sig line. The love and the choice you express are what submission in the D/s sense should be about (in my opinion).

Click to expand...

I understand you idea about collars also .. and just to clarify that I wasn't having a dig at your post

Thankyou for the feedback also .. muchly appriciated

Jailhouse said:

I'm curious about collars and how you use them and why.

Click to expand...

I have only used collars for restraint. To me, they are no more symbolic or meaningful than wrist/ankle cuffs.

Jailhouse said:

Something like this is one of many options for a softer look without having to leave her with a bare neck

Click to expand...

I find a woman's bare neck to be sexy as hell. Once I reached the point in a relationship where I could control her style of dress, I would not permit her to wear anything more substantial than a very delicate necklace, but my preference would be for nothing to be worn around her neck at all.

my collar is a sign of the commitment Master and i share. i dont wear it all the time as we dont live together but He has given me a necklace with a pair of handcuffs on, which means a lot to me. I wear that all the time.....

JMohegan said:

I find a woman's bare neck to be sexy as hell. Once I reached the point in a relationship where I could control her style of dress, I would not permit her to wear anything more substantial than a very delicate necklace, but my preference would be for nothing to be worn around her neck at all.

Click to expand...

Shivery phraseology, JM.

I was once in a relationship where we discussed collars, and a serious consideration was a pet collar that accepted those rhinestone slider letters. The idea being, that it would be laid out in the morning, and labeled with one word of the evening's activities (plug, gag, bound, naked, etc), so the one to be wearing it would have the opportunity to think about what was going to happen, long before being allowed to wear the collar, and show a submissive's devotion.

i have two collars that i use in scenes. one is a red dog collar, the other is black with a ring in the front. if one is going to think of a collar as a piece of symbolic jewlery that symbolizes your submission and/or the fact that you belong to someone, then it can really be any kind of jewlery. i wear a necklace 24/7 that is shaped like a heart with copper wire wound around it like a cage. inside it says "property of ***his name***". He made it for me and it stays on always, when i sleep, when i shower, when we scene, during normal non-kinky everyday life. I'm a big fan of symblolic jewlery becuase it can be worn all the time without causing a problem with anybody in the vanilla world. attached is a picture of both my necklace and my small black collar. sorry if i got at all off topic.

...........

To most people, collars, like wedding rings, are symbols of permanence and commitment... two things that at this point in time, I'm not looking for. And even if I were, I'd not want or need a collar to signify the solidity of a relationship.

Furthermore, I see collars as nothing more than a prop used for play.

On the other hand, if some Domly fella is dying to buy me some shiny, sparkly stuff, I'd be glad to accept. ;-) Yanno, I'm such a girl.

But to each their own. To those who are collared, or want to be... have fun and good luck!

I've never been a "collar me" sort of girl. In fact, I've only worn a collar... um... two times: once as part of a Halloween costume, and once for a specific scene.

Of course, now that I'm with E and he keeps dropping hints, I can't think of anything I'd want more than a collar, of the symbolic variety at least. For daily wear, I'd be most interested in something more like jewelry, but I could see myself enjoying a real collar for play too.

I am of two minds when it comes to collars. I would dearly love to wear one while playing..not as a mark of ownership but simply because the thought of wearing one turns me on...but then again, I'd like to wear a leash too. It's just another toy to me. Well, and I do have this whole fantasy thing of my Dom looping a finger in the ring of my collar and pulling me to him for a kiss. But I digress...

As for collaring, I consider that to be as deep a commitment as marriage (even deeper in many cases I am sure). The word "collaring" holds a much deeper meaning to me than an actual collar, though I love the thought of special collars in a deeply committed relationship.

CutieMouse said:

Shivery phraseology, JM.

I was once in a relationship where we discussed collars, and a serious consideration was a pet collar that accepted those rhinestone slider letters. The idea being, that it would be laid out in the morning, and labeled with one word of the evening's activities (plug, gag, bound, naked, etc), so the one to be wearing it would have the opportunity to think about what was going to happen, long before being allowed to wear the collar, and show a submissive's devotion.

Click to expand...

hmm, that sounds fun!

Jailhouse said:

This one is really nice, and a bit unusual compared to what I typically go for... but I think it's beautiful and feminine. In the future I'll consider this kind of a collar if I have need for one again:
http://img177.imageshack.us/img177/2904/slavering300mv1.jpg


That having been said, I think there's also some need for a collar that can be worn in public and looks better with dressier clothing. I don't think that putting a thick chunk of leather and metal together with a nice outfit is such a good idea. Something like this is one of many options for a softer look without having to leave her with a bare neck:
http://img213.imageshack.us/img213/7181/rosecollarhr6.jpg

Click to expand...

My personal take on this subject is that I would prefer to and have done in the past worn a collar......it is symbolic of my commitment to my Master. However it is a matter of personal choice between Master/Sub whichever suits both parties.



I do particularly like the two above...

Jailhouse here is an interesting Thread that was started by O'Mac

Exactly why can't a Dom have a collar?

Its slightly off tangent and made for a really interesting dialogue at the time.

Edit I really must reread my own posts before I refer a thread like this again.........egads . End of Edit

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m14/rebecca222_2006/collarri.jpg

In this collar the ring shown in the 'key'

callinectes said:

Well, and I do have this whole fantasy thing of my Dom looping a finger in the ring of my collar and pulling me to him for a kiss. But I digress...

Click to expand...

oh! thats hot

I wouldn't be happy with just any type of collar. To me the Collar is incredibly important, symbolic, and a reflection of life together as Master/slave or Dominant/submissive.

Below is a picture of the collar he gave me when I first moved in with him. This collar I wear everyday and will for our first year. Then I will get something that is uniquely mine. Not something you can get off any BDSM jewelry site. I am very fortunate that my Dom knows me very well and knows how fussy I can be. He is just as meticulous on the selection of our permanent collar. Which is fun for us and can cause some anxiety as you can imagine.

The black leather collar in the picture is our play or training collar. My Joe made it from one of his old favorite belts. It is very special to me since it was something he really liked. The rest of the belt is used as a strap which is lots of fun!


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v129/Teresa3266/pitatrainingcollar.jpg

I understand that for many its a symbol of commitment, like a wedding ring.

'Being collared' is something which if it has meaning to you must be a wonderful feeling.

I love wedding dresses (I must do I have had two of my own ) and love to see a bride in her dress.
I view collars in the same way. I particularly like delicate or unusual ones.
I love to see them, admire them and lust over them briefly, but I don't want one. Anelizedarkeyes has a stunning one in her av.

However as a symbol of commitment they don't have the meaning for me that they do for other people.
I don't really know why, in some ways I wish they did.

My ex bought me two shiny pretty collars. One is a diamante choker which I never had the opportunity to wear, the other is a choker made up of a mix of white/cream beads, which I would wear when he and I met up.

I now have two collars, one he particularly likes for play. It is simple black leather with three D rings. The other is ornamental. It is black leather with chains hanging down in a waterfall effect. I wear that on the rare occasions I attend munches or similar gatherings. Its useful as it indicates I am 'not available' as I attend them without him.

I also have a necklace which is chain mail, it is very simple design and he chose it for my birthday last year. I rarely take it off and sleep with my hand wrapped in it as a comforting thing to do.

When Andante first came to Lit he posted about being a widower. He was married for many years and loved his wife. For me it is wonderful to hear him talk so openly and positively about her and the relationship they had. I don't want to be his wife, not because I don't love him but because I do. I think it is right that she is his wife and remains in his heart as that.
To me, collaring is similar to marriage in terms of having a physical item as a symbol of commitment to each other. I don't need a symbol from him to prove his commitment to me, nor does he want that from me. I don't need a piece of paper declaring his ownership of me (such as a marriage certificate), he can buy one from ebay if he wants to.

We have talked about commitment and collaring ceremonies but neither of us see a need to do this. We know our commitment to each other. We have been through enough in the past 18 months to prove to each other that we support one and other unreservedly. Of course we may change our minds but for now our own knowledge of each others commitment is enough.

That said I still love to drool over collars so seeing more pics would be great

This is me wearing my everyday collar....

http://www.geocities.com/dixicritter_sub/Images/collar.jpg

And this is a picture of my playtime collar...

http://www.geocities.com/dixicritter_sub/Images/1502.jpg

The collar that slave has is a symbol. he has a thing about stuff around his neck and hardly wears it. But he knows what it means.