Pussy issues?

Eilan

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Jan 24, 2005
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This is probably a "female" thing, but I'm quite sensitive about the whole pussy depth issue. I'm not positive because I've never measured or anything, but I'm pretty sure that I'm average. Would most men have any complaints about fucking a pussy that's only average depth?

My husband and I have been married for almost four years. We're quite attracted to each other, we have regular sex, and we communicate openly and honestly. I've voiced my concerns to him, and he thinks that a deep pussy is more important to women than it is to men. However, I think that he's bound by our marriage vows to be nice about stuff like this. My other partners have had no complaints, either, but I was wondering if they could be have trying to placate or reassure me just so they could get in my pants.

Does anybody know of methods that would help increase vagina depth? Are there any techniques or pills or any methods of stretching or lengthening the vaginal canal? I'm willing to try just about anything at this point, as long as I don't have to insert objects that go through, past, or beyond my cervix.

Please help me. I consider a deep pussy to be a status symbol of sorts, and I worry about how my pussy "measures up" to all the other pussies out there. I've considered withholding sex from my husband because I don't feel that my pussy can satisfy him enough, even though I know there's probably nothing wrong with it.

Thanks in advance. :rose:
 
We haven't even made it to the new year and you're playing April Fool's day jokes?!

Oh dear God Elian - this is priceless! I owe you big for the laugh I'm having... big - or should I say deep laughter? Very very deep.
 
Cathleen said:
We haven't even made it to the new year and you're playing April Fool's day jokes?!

Oh dear God Elian - this is priceless! I owe you big for the laugh I'm having... big - or should I say deep laughter? Very very deep.
Hey, my fragile self-esteem is at stake here!
 
Eilan said:
Hey, my fragile self-esteem is at stake here!
Please accept my deepest apology Elian. I do believe there is a cream that may help here - I'm not sure I have the name correct but I think it's something like "Deepiety Do".
 
How sad and tragic for you, I think you are right, your husband is holding back his true feelings. Knowing as I do the enormity of the average penis, it is vital for a woman to have a pussy of a cavernous nature.
I did do some searching on your behalf, and as luck would have it I came across a wonderful product from our friends at BiFan Industries, I'm sure with this little beauty tucked under your bed your hubby will be amazed at how much of him you will be able to accomodate. Not to mention the glorious echoing that would emanate from your now cavernous creation.
As always communication is the key, hiding your shame and embarrassment will only lead to problems outside the bedroom.
Of course should you choose not to enhance yourself in this way your husband would be well within his rights to leave you for someone with a wholly huge cooter.
 

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quoll said:
How sad and tragic for you, I think you are right, your husband is holding back his true feelings. Knowing as I do the enormity of the average penis, it is vital for a woman to have a pussy of a cavernous nature.
I did do some searching on your behalf, and as luck would have it I came across a wonderful product from our friends at BiFan Industries, I'm sure with this little beauty tucked under your bed your hubby will be amazed at how much of him you will be able to accomodate. Not to mention the glorious echoing that would emanate from your now cavernous creation.
As always communication is the key, hiding your shame and embarrassment will only lead to problems outside the bedroom.
Of course should you choose not to enhance yourself in this way your husband would be well within his rights to leave you for someone with a wholly huge cooter.
Damn - this is how to not BDSM!
 
Cathleen said:
Opps, sorry, meant the picture. If those are what's needed to help Elian then I'm scared for her. I think I'll stay deepth challenged... I'm too much of a wuss when it comes to my puss.

Yes it may be a tad severe, and I understand the female sensitivity about vagina size, but that is the price some have to pay in todays world. Cetainly if you choose to leave your man out in the cold that's your choice.;)
 
Eilan said:
This is probably a "female" thing, but I'm quite sensitive about the whole pussy depth issue. I'm not positive because I've never measured or anything, but I'm pretty sure that I'm average. Would most men have any complaints about fucking a pussy that's only average depth?

My husband and I have been married for almost four years. We're quite attracted to each other, we have regular sex, and we communicate openly and honestly. I've voiced my concerns to him, and he thinks that a deep pussy is more important to women than it is to men. However, I think that he's bound by our marriage vows to be nice about stuff like this. My other partners have had no complaints, either, but I was wondering if they could be have trying to placate or reassure me just so they could get in my pants.

Does anybody know of methods that would help increase vagina depth? Are there any techniques or pills or any methods of stretching or lengthening the vaginal canal? I'm willing to try just about anything at this point, as long as I don't have to insert objects that go through, past, or beyond my cervix.

Please help me. I consider a deep pussy to be a status symbol of sorts, and I worry about how my pussy "measures up" to all the other pussies out there. I've considered withholding sex from my husband because I don't feel that my pussy can satisfy him enough, even though I know there's probably nothing wrong with it.

Thanks in advance. :rose:
Start here...
http://galleries.meatinsertions.com/ALPO/set/08.jpg
...and then work your way down.

:cool:
 
quoll said:
Cetainly if you choose to leave your man out in the cold that's your choice.;)

"Out in the cold"... harsh!! I never thought about it that way, the poor, poor man!

I must take drastic measures immediately.

:D
 
Women have issues about the damndest things.

Even is there was such a thing as a too deep or too shallow pussy, what makes you think there's anything wrong with yours when non of your partners have had an issue with it.

Can they get it in? Do they look like they're enjoying themselves when they put it in? Are you enjoying it? If the answers yes than it would seem everythings fine.
 
Why are women so concerned about pussy size? Can't they just be happy with what God gave them?

Anyway, girth is much more important than depth, give me a shallow pussy with less girth any day... :catroar:
 
Anyway, the biggest sex organ is the brain.

(Actually it's the skin, but everyone here says it's the brain, and I'm trying to fit in)
 
God! Not another size thread. Don't people know it's what you do with your pussy not the size, that matters!! Work those muscles woman!
 
I side with Will Rogers on this one. I've never met a pussy I didn't like...can't say that I would still want to spend more than 15 seconds with some of their owners, but that's another, non-pussy issue.

A few guiding thoughts for the pussy-depth challenged:

It's not the depth, it's the wave on the ocean.

God gave you only one pussy but you also received ten toes. Use them.

Shallow is only good if you're a blonde, naturally.

Remember the words of Billy, from Easy Rider: "It's too deep, man."
 
quoll said:
I did do some searching on your behalf, and as luck would have it I came across a wonderful product from our friends at BiFan Industries, I'm sure with this little beauty tucked under your bed your hubby will be amazed at how much of him you will be able to accomodate. Not to mention the glorious echoing that would emanate from your now cavernous creation.

Quoll, Eilan,

This tip is priceless. But I have to add a little warning too. I tried it and it was amazing. Only thing that threw me off a bit was the price, plus you have to take into consideration there are follow-up costs as well. Look what I had to buy after a few sessions with my new Pussymaster 5000 :eek:
 
The Schleptaquim Vaginal Hypotenuse Theorum

I'm with Scalywag here. I've been very guilty of berating poor thread starters as of late and I am really trying to atone. So, as silly as I think worrying about pussy size may be, I decided to set out to make a determined effort to help Eilan with her problem. The first issue is, how deep should a pussy be? We need an average first. I was suprised to find extensive research done on this!

Dr. Schleptaquim from the Helsinki Institute for Vaginal Health brought forth this theorum:

First proper measurements. There are two ways to meansure your vagina. The first is to simple slide a rigid object as far into the vaginal canal as possible and measure the result. What Dr. Schleptaquim found though was that because the vagina is not a perfect cylinder, different measurements are achieve as the woman changes positions slightly, if the intrument is moved just a fraction of an inch within the vagina, or even as a woman breaths. Though Dr. Schlepaquim was an expert in reproductive science, his great hobby was geometry (and cunniligus). Because of this the learned scholar developed a variation on Pythagorean's theorem for determining the length of triangles: The Schleptaquim Vaginal Hypotenuse Theorum.

Dr. Schlepaquim noticed that the felace sexual organs formed a triangluar shape which seemed proportional in all women. After applying geometric proofs to x-ray and CT scans of the vaginal area, he discovered that indeed his theory was correct. First a math lesson. Pythagorean's Theorum says that in a triangle thesum of the lengths of Side A squared and Side B squared (the straight sides) are equal to the length of Side C (the long side called the hyponenuse) squared. This same theory can be used to determine the depth of the vaginal canal on it's center axis.

The first Measurement, we'll call side A, is taken from the top of the Clitoral hood to the bottom fo the vaginal opening. The measurement for Side b is taken from the bottom of the vaginal opening to the center of the anus. From these numbers we can calculate the lenghtof the hypontenuse, in this case the depth of the vaginal canal. (Clitoris-to-Vaginal Opening Posterior)sq + (Vaginal Opening Posterior-to-Anus)sq = (Vaginal Depth)sq.. Then taking the Square Route of the Hyponenuse, you can find your vaginal depth.

Now I know what you are saying, these measurements aren't straight lines, so how can they form a triangle? Well the Vaginal canal isn't straight either, but if you take the formed curve and stretch them flat, the measure ments match up perfectly! The average vagina came out to just about 4.34 inches, though Dr. Schleptaquim also discovered that during arousal the cervix does retract between 1-2 inches, lengthening the vagina.


So what about those women who are over the average, or under the avergage? Yes, both of these groups of women have their own stigmas to live with, and Dr. Schleptaquim was comelled to help.

For those with shallow vaginas, the inability to full take their partner's penis wihtin their body can be a traumatic experience. Dr. schleptaquim found a report of one Norwegian tribe of vikings whose women were genetically predisposed to having shallow vaginas, a cruel joke as their men were predisposed to larger than average penis size. Believing they were cursed by Odin, they slaughtered their women. It was this remorse and lack of sexual activity which sent them on their raping and pillaging tirades against other tribes. To aid these women Dr. Schleptaquim devised a surgery in which the taint is enlarged, moving the anal opening further back, thuse strething out the hyponenuse of the triangle, aka lengthening the vaginal canal. While this works well for larger women, petite women suffer the side effect of their anus moving too far back, forcing them to be in a reclined legs up postion to have a bowel movement on a standard toilet.

For a non-surgical approach, Dr. Scleptaquim devised a prosthetic extension for the vagina. Cast in silicone from a mode made of the wearers own genetalia, this artificial mons pubis is attached directly to the woman's own pubic region using spirit gum. A small funnel like stub is inserted slightly into the actual vagina to ensure proper alignment. The size of this prosthetic can be made in variable lengths, adding as much depth to the real vaginal canal as needed by extengint he vagina outward. A user may also ahve multiple sizes cast, thus allowing her to accomodate numerous sizes of partners and providing a custom fit for the length of his penis. This prosthetic is very popular amongst the prostitues of Amsterdam who charge extra to offer a custom fit. The only side effect to this device is a slight irritation from the spirit gum and it is recommended that the mons pubis be free of pubic hair before application.

So what of those with overly deep vaginas? This can be especially harmful to a couples. Since most men are obesessed with the size fo their penises, they find being with a woman with a deep vaginal canal to be a blow against their manhood. Unless he feels the head of his penis spearing his partner's cervix with every thrust, the resulting damage to his psyche can lead to sexual disatisfaction, causing him to stray to look for a partner wiht a more shallow vagina. Of course this causes immense trauma for the woman because nothing she can do sexually can change the fact that her enormous vagina makes his penis seem overly small.

Dr. Schleptaquim did not ignore these poor women, and so he created the Cervial Retainer. This artifial silicone disc is designed much like a diaphragm, though more rigid and with an artificial textured cervix in the center. It is inserted into the vagina and held in place by a spring loaded tension system. This system not only provides stability and support, but the ingenious design allows for the depth to vary with each partner. As the male enters the moan, if she has placed the retainer too shallow, the head of his penis will push on the artificial cervix. The spring loaded tensioners will allow the retainer to slide deeper into the vagina, thus again, providing a custom depth fit perfectly to the male partner. Not only does he not feel he is too small, but the feelign of pushing the retainer down can give the impression that he is stretching the female partner with his massive penis, thus increasing his sexual pleasure.

But there is another problem with an overly large vagina. Any woman who has experienced the echo of a lover's moans as he orally gratifies them knows how embarassing this is. This is why the Vaginal Retainer is built from two layers of vulcanized silicone wrapped around a space age sound dampening material, first used on the Skylab space station. This dampener traps and kills any echoes emenating from the excess vaginal area beyond the retainer.

Dr. Schleptaquim has recieved numerous accolades and rewards for his work. He was made a Knight of the Realm by Queen Elizabeth, who secretly suffered from an overly large vagina for years before meeting Dr. Schleptaquim. His Vaginal Hypotenuse Theorum was also nominated for the 1996 Nobel Prize for Mathematics.

Litterally dozens of women around the world owe their happiness to the work this great man has done. Thanks to Dr. Schleptaquim, no woman need go through life worrying about the size of her vagina.


I hope this helps Eilan. If you do these measure ments and find you are out of the norm, at least you know there is something you can do about it. Stay strong dear, you aren't alone. :) :rose:
 
I dunno, the pussy in your avatar looks "above average" to me. I don't see a problem! :eek:
 
I've never heard of a shallow vaginal issue.

There's some - emphasis on some - valid advice to work from but you'll get this figured out.

And please share whatever solution is effective.
 
What I love best about this thread is that some people appear to have taken it seriously.
 
bisexplicit said:
What I love best about this thread is that some people appear to have taken it seriously.
You're not actually calling Dr. Schleptaquim's exhaustive research frivilous, are you? Do you have any idea the number of years of study, the number of pussies he had to probe, all in the hopes that he might help a few poor ladies like Eilan?

Come on Bi, I know you and your perfect pussy are content and happy, but I thought you'd be more sympathetic for a sister with such a dibilitating handicap. :mad:
 
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