Betrayal of the Bisexual Man

I have a problem. On August 17, 2003, my sister Anne attacked me with a knife. She was angry. I took it away from her, brought her before the rest of the family and told them what she had done. They believed her over me. I hated them all at this point. I took off. When I came back, I did research on my computer about violent females and their male victims. In doing so, I became aware of the fact that many violent women in America hurt men and the Justice System does nothing about it thanks to radical feminist politics. My family pissed me off but
Unfortunately, I still needed them. I came from to USA from the Caribbean in 1999 on a visa. I was 14 at the time. I have been here since. I have gone through high school here. I just finished my second year of college.


I developed a severe dislike of feminists, especially those who seemed really against men. I respected women and had nothing against women's rights but most feminists seemed to hate men and that made me dislike them. I stopped pursuing women and became obsessed with the justice system and its anti-male bias. I learned so many things. Divorce Courts
were biased against men and fathers. Bad mothers took away the kids and got all the money. Men who were falsely accused of rape by vindictive women were locked up. Even when it was proven that the women had lied, they faced no jail term. Judges basically let female criminals get away because they didn't want to offend their feminist
masters.


I became angry at these things. I continued my research. Eventually,
I discovered a small but growing network of men who were fighting for the rights of male victims of domestic violence. They called themselves
S.A.F.E. I also discovered the DAHM or Domestic Abuse Helpline For Men. I liked the work that these people did for men and decided to help them. I made thousands of flyers with information aimed at helping male victims of domestic violence and passed them around my city and everywhere I went.


I met a lot of people. Men and women who had seen their male friends
and relatives get abused by women and felt helpless when female abusers got away. I learned to get over my homophobia to help Gay males who are abused by other males in their relationships. I also respected lesbians who were hurt by their female partners. I discovered
that all humans needed help when it came to domestic violence.
That did not stop me from hating cops, judges, prosecutors and feminists because they hurt decent men by enforcing anti-male laws.
I don't think your gender should determine whether or not the state or the police helps you in your time of need. I vowed to never stop fighting.


I started college at age 18. I was learning Computer Science because my parents wanted me to. I really wanted Criminal Justice. I was a real confused dude. Around that time, I discovered that I was bicurious. I had some curisoity about sex and love with both men and
women. I met a cute tomboy named Lauren from Plymouth, MA. We became friends. She was so cool. I was strongly attracted to her. She was a hot girl. Also, she was a strong person. She could fix cars. She
could also play tackle football. Unfortunately, she had a man. I also
felt a certain attraction to Karl, my longtime best friend. I never acted on it.


I did some sexual/romantic experimenting. I met a guy named Marlon and he became my first gay dude. We went to bed and everything. It
was cool. I also experimented with a hot Spanish girl named Emily. There was also Merrill, a sexy black BBW. Hmm. There was also Joan,
an Asian girl. I did my share of experimentation. Unfortunately, the incident with my violent sister still haunted me. I feared that any woman I let get close to me would eventually betray me. I didn't let anyone get
too close. There was also a guy named Darren in my life. He was cool.
I didn't let the men get too close to me either. That was okay with them since most of them only wanted sex.


My family got really suspicious of me. Once, they asked me outright if I was gay. I said no. I'm really bisexual.....lol. (I didn't tell them that).
The family had some financial and emotional difficulties. I stayed away from it all. I no longer trusted my family. The men and women in my family
were all backstabbers and betrayers in my opinion. The women were also far worse than the men. I didn't care about any of them.


I'm a basically decent guy. I can't stand liars and I never forgive them but I'm an okay guy. My uncle applied for the immigration department to give me my legal papers. I'm still waiting. My family wants me to marry some girl and get my US Citizenship that way. I don't want to.
It wouldn't be fair to the girl. It wouldn't be fair to me. It wouldn't be right before God. I still believed in God and decency. Still, I am getting desperate.


I'm 20 years old and I will have a Bachelor's Degree soon in the future. I don't have a social security number so companies won't hire me. I'm a bisexual man looking for love but no man or woman will ever accept me just as I am and love me. They're gonna try to betray me.
They always do. I once dreamed of meeting a nice lady, fall in love,
get married and raise children. NOT gonna happen. I also used to dream of meeting a nice man, get married and adopt kids. NOT gonna happen.
No one can accept me. I still try to be decent. I still donate to the poor. I volunteer as often as I can. Unfortunately, decent men don't get appreciated in this universe.


What should I do ?

You have an interesting story to tell. It sounds as though you don't hold much hope for a truly intimate, trusting relationship, though I think you want one.

You're only twenty. It's easy for me to tell you to lighten up but I know how difficult that can be.

It's possible to banish the demons of hurt and anger with the kinder angels of understanding. Don't give up....

I'll be interested to learn more about your experiences so keep posting.

Nothing is either good or bad..... and we all have our good and bad sides. World is not black&white but mostly gray.

What you should do is to be more positive and try to find those good things in people around you.

And dont be too scared of them (however you experience with your sister may have been a nasty one).

You are very young and still have to learn how to cope with dissapointments in life but eventually you will...... just give yourself some time and think positive.

Samuelx said:

I'm a bisexual man looking for love but no man or woman will ever accept me just as I am and love me.

Click to expand...

WHY?

I was just 20 went I felt in love for the first time and now with 21 there are first opurtunites to have sex for the first time. I thought it would be cool since I was 15 but now I feel that I was not ready even back than at the age of 19.
I really don't worry about it because most stories I her from people who had their first boyfriend/girlfriend at the age of 14, 15 or even 16 are things that I really do not envy them for.
Yes, being a nice guy never got me into any bed but this was something I never wanted. I want a loving partner and a family and this is something you don't find in the back of a club after two hours of seraching.
In fact I'm really happy that I'm 21 and still virgin.



That female abusers seem to go away without punishment seems to be a truth but we all have to remember, that not that long ago abused females where as helpless as abused males are now. This is not 80 or 100 years ago but 20 or even 10 and in many places it's that way to today.
I'm very sure that in 10 or 20 years men get as much help with abusing partners as women are now.

The incident with your sister was obviously very damaging to you psychologically. I'm not sure if there was a history of abuse, but even if there wasn't, one traumatic incident is enough. I urge you to discuss this all with a therapist. A psychologist should be able to help you deal with your emotions regarding the abuse and even help you come to terms with your bisexual feelings.
Best of Luck.