ok you male subs

In My real world I see male subs get a bad wrap every day. Some deserved some not. Male subs come in as many personality types and agendas as females do yet if they do not show an excess of masculinity they are often looked down on.

This bothers Me from My stance as a Fem Domme. So I think I will begin this thread to discuss the difficulties and delights of male subs.

My males are so diverse from each other that I have a well rounded view of the pros and cons of many different aspects that both delight and annoy Me from time to time. Yes I like to be delighted and being annoyed with them from time to time can also work out to be a positive as it hones My skills of discipline and denial.

They do not attempt to play head games with Me and any diversion from blunt honesty from their points is easily over come with a few interrogation technics. They cave beautifully under pressure and the blush on a mans face that has been busted is beyond adorable.

I prefer My men to be 6' plus masculine looking yet can be just as delighted with those I own that barely stand above My own height. It is the eyes and the need that they cannot hide...the sluttiness that betrays their control and the lengths that they will go to please Me that shows their courage and bravery in submission.

Submission in its deepest form is not an easy road to take...for males the traditional male roles and expectations from society it can be even more difficult due to the disrespect they often get or anticipate. Their need to hide their submission for longer periods of time before buckling under the need can be frustrating and lonely.

Male submissives are for the most part incredible human beings and I for one am delighted that they exist to serve and please.

Anyone care to join this conversation?

Thanks for the thread Ma'am.

I have only gotten really rude treatment from one club. Later I found out that the club in question has been leaning towards to straight, M/f power exchange recently, so then I didn't feel too badly.

Sometimes though, when people find out that I'm a sub, I get a really weird response, that I don't "look" the part. How the heck are we supposed to look? Are we going to get rubber stamps on our foreheads or something? Warning label.. "100 percent male sub with boy scout-like tendencies. Made and manufactured entirely in the Republic of Ireland. Please do fold, spindle and mutilate." I don't think I've ever met a male sub who catered completely to what a friend calls the Casper Milquetoast/miserable worm/ 98 pound weakling image, but it still persists.

As an aside, I noticed that a lot of lovely Dommes get off on the size thing. Not that size thing! Get your minds out of the gutter, ladies and gents, I'm taking about height! I'm six five, and several of the devastatingly dominant ladies that I've spoken to lately are sort of short. Like around 5 feet or so. May I ask please, what it is about a tall guy that attracts you in a bdsm sort of context?

edited for poor word choice

Hello bronntanas

Thank you for joining the conversation.

Due to the fact that most clubs do seem to have more male Doms than female and more fem subs than male it seems to be seen as a more natural pairing...which could be what you are seeing at this time. That will change as it always ebbs and flows so remain patient and true to your submission.

I think for Myself the tall sub who stands at least one foot over My own height gives Me an extra feeling of power...to know that it only takes a look or My baby finger in the ring of his collar to drop him to his knees is a rush that I enjoy.

It is also nice to know that this same man could easily come to My defense physically if that need ever arose and I like the idea that he also has that thought in the back of his mind.

bronntanas said:

Thanks for the thread Ma'am.

I have only gotten really rude treatment from one club. Later I found out that the club in question has been leaning towards to straight, M/f power exchange recently, so then I didn't feel too badly.

Sometimes though, when people find out that I'm a sub, I get a really weird response, that I don't "look" the part. How the heck are we supposed to look? Are we going to get rubber stamps on our foreheads or something? Warning label.. "100 percent male sub with boy scout-like tendencies. Made and manufactured entirely in the Republic of Ireland. Please do fold, spindle and mutilate." I don't think I've ever met a male sub who catered completely to what a friend calls the Casper Milquetoast/miserable worm/ 98 pound weakling image, but it still persists.

As an aside, I noticed that a lot of lovely Dommes get off on the size thing. Not that size thing! Get your minds out of the gutter, ladies and gents, I'm taking about height! I'm six five, and several of the devastatingly dominant ladies that I've spoken to lately are sort of short. Like around 5 feet or so. May I ask please, what it is about a tall guy that attracts you in a bdsm sort of context?

edited for poor word choice

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I have also found that the single male stigma follows male subs. Often times the only subs that gain interest are female subs. Many female dommes will overlook male subs for female subs.

Personally I am a switch, although I am naturally submissive. It is just the need to blend the right ingredients to make the tastiest feast.

I have seen this also. All though the group that I'm involved with now is amazingly accepting of everyone regardless of their particular kink. But I have noticed even in the group I'm in at first they were a little questioning as to who was in charge until we interacted around them, I guess I didn't fit the mental image they had, but then comparatively I'm alot more built than any of the other male subs in the group. Kinda funny cause I look very masculine and "manly" but have absolutely no real desire to be in control! My Wife/Domme is only a little over 5'3" and I stand at 6'4" so perhaps She will respond from her perspective on this. I know I find it exhilirating to feel Her so completely in control of me even though I am much bigger and stronger than She is physically. <shrug> I love being Her's.

I have a handful of male sub friends and I adore them...it upsets me too when I see male submissives getting a bad rap. Especially since there are just as many needy, snotty, self-centered female subs out there as there are horny, geeky wanna-be male subs, if not more. For some reason though, it seems that people are more accepting of female submissives no matter how immature they are, but male subs seem to have to "prove" themselves before anyone gives them the time of day or an ounce of respect. I can tell a lot about a person based on their views on male submissives.

Shadowsdream said:

Hello bronntanas

Thank you for joining the conversation.

Due to the fact that most clubs do seem to have more male Doms than female and more fem subs than male it seems to be seen as a more natural pairing...which could be what you are seeing at this time. That will change as it always ebbs and flows so remain patient and true to your submission.

Click to expand...

You're welcome.

Re the club in question, they advertise as pan fetish, but they're not really anymore. I did get a bit stupid and macho at this particular one. I was kneeling next to a woman to talk to her (as it was rude, I thought to make her crane her neck to talk to me. Normally, I don't do that as a submissive thing unless I am "with" the Lady for the night. I find it bugs most Ladies when a strange guy starts acting overly subbie at them.) and some jerk, er, Dom, told me to stand up cause no one kneels to a woman in here, and he made a comment a about pansy ass m-subs needing their asses kicked. So I stood up and asked him if he was volunteering. He looked up and discovered a pressing need to be elsewhere.

I think one of the reasons male subs are so unaccepted is that societally speaking woman are SUPPOSED to be submissive. A strong domineering woman in vanilla society is not really accepted, we are often called self-centered bitches and other such not-so-niceties. Men are supposed to be the providers, the fighters and such, not submissive. I don't put posture or behavior restrictions on my sub, I don't have him exactly trained. I prefer him like the wild dog he is (makes it more fun when I make him eat off the floor out of his little dish). I don't thing a male sub is any less of a man, I almost see him as more of one, that he is comfortable enough in himself to give in to his submissive tendencies. I also get upset with Doms who believe that all women are actually subs and that a Domme is really subbing to her subs will to be Dominated over (I hope that makes sense). I for one find the idea of subbing repulsive, though every once in a while a switch as to who ties up who is a fun change, actually subbing is NOT my idea of a fun scene.

As someone who is just finding out how much exactly i enjoy being a sub it is kinda hard. The one woman who has started me on this sub road, barely talks to me. I have three things i am to do every day, each day. occasionaly, but rarely she will reward me with an actuall session of online play, but most of the time, all she tells me, after i send her a story or home made porn, is cum now slut. That is the limit to my interaction with my mistress. I write stories or poems for her daily and send her pictures and video, but she just uses me. While i was orignaly happy about this, as i was enjoying my new "sub" lifestyle... i soon grew bored of it, and started to read around. I know what i have is not a true sub/dom relationship. Being my age and body type its hard for me to find a mistress willing to teach me (im only 21 and a bit on the heavy side) what a true sub/dom relationship can be.

Alt said:

I have also found that the single male stigma follows male subs. Often times the only subs that gain interest are female subs. Many female dommes will overlook male subs for female subs.

Personally I am a switch, although I am naturally submissive. It is just the need to blend the right ingredients to make the tastiest feast.

Click to expand...

A question for you if you don't mind....did you become switch to be able to have a piece of the BDSM world when submission wasn't getting you anywhere or was switching something you began because of a dominant side to your personality?

I suspect the reason male subs have trouble finding their match in the areas I go to is that most Dommes are already paired up and most of the others do not play with switches except in the club environments and then as Top and bottom.

I know that I as a Mistress search for a certain look in the males eyes before I consider them...if I just see a man looking for play I have no interest in him beyond friendship.

Never give up...your magic is out there.

Thank you for adding your voice to this conversation

sphynx's dragon said:

I have seen this also. All though the group that I'm involved with now is amazingly accepting of everyone regardless of their particular kink. But I have noticed even in the group I'm in at first they were a little questioning as to who was in charge until we interacted around them, I guess I didn't fit the mental image they had, but then comparatively I'm alot more built than any of the other male subs in the group. Kinda funny cause I look very masculine and "manly" but have absolutely no real desire to be in control! My Wife/Domme is only a little over 5'3" and I stand at 6'4" so perhaps She will respond from her perspective on this. I know I find it exhilirating to feel Her so completely in control of me even though I am much bigger and stronger than She is physically. <shrug> I love being Her's.

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I love hearing these success stories! It is funny how people in groups that don't know you will generally see a tall and powerful man as the Dom...until they see him look into the eyes of his Domme. I would love to hear the voice of your Mistress in this thread!

Thank you so much for giving us a little insight into your world. Every word shared by male subs helps others realize how common some attitudes are and that there is hope to find the Mistress of their dreams. Also the appreciation for their submission!

serijules said:

I have a handful of male sub friends and I adore them...it upsets me too when I see male submissives getting a bad rap. Especially since there are just as many needy, snotty, self-centered female subs out there as there are horny, geeky wanna-be male subs, if not more. For some reason though, it seems that people are more accepting of female submissives no matter how immature they are, but male subs seem to have to "prove" themselves before anyone gives them the time of day or an ounce of respect. I can tell a lot about a person based on their views on male submissives.

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BINGO!
Thank you for this honesty and support of the boys!
I have a special interest in how fem subs act with My boys...when I have a girl under Me I like to watch them cuddled up together with his protective arm around her...her head on his massive shoulder as they both ~`smile~~ happily at Me.

It is important to Me that they do not compete but support each other lovingly and playfully.

Thank you for starting this thread, it's been informative so far and promises some interesting discussions. *scurries back to lurking*

bronntanas said:

You're welcome.

Re the club in question, they advertise as pan fetish, but they're not really anymore. I did get a bit stupid and macho at this particular one. I was kneeling next to a woman to talk to her (as it was rude, I thought to make her crane her neck to talk to me. Normally, I don't do that as a submissive thing unless I am "with" the Lady for the night. I find it bugs most Ladies when a strange guy starts acting overly subbie at them.) and some jerk, er, Dom, told me to stand up cause no one kneels to a woman in here, and he made a comment a about pansy ass m-subs needing their asses kicked. So I stood up and asked him if he was volunteering. He looked up and discovered a pressing need to be elsewhere.

Click to expand...

LOL good for you!

I know that in the munches I attend it is generally frowned on for a sub to kneel only because the events are held in restaurants and there seems to be a need to keep anything that appears ritualistic lower than low key.

It does not bug Me if it is authentic and not self serving...funny after many years of living the lifestyle where it simply seems like a normal sign of respect. Every ones milage differs.

tealsphynx said:

I think one of the reasons male subs are so unaccepted is that societally speaking woman are SUPPOSED to be submissive. A strong domineering woman in vanilla society is not really accepted, we are often called self-centered bitches and other such not-so-niceties. Men are supposed to be the providers, the fighters and such, not submissive. I don't put posture or behavior restrictions on my sub, I don't have him exactly trained. I prefer him like the wild dog he is (makes it more fun when I make him eat off the floor out of his little dish). I don't thing a male sub is any less of a man, I almost see him as more of one, that he is comfortable enough in himself to give in to his submissive tendencies. I also get upset with Doms who believe that all women are actually subs and that a Domme is really subbing to her subs will to be Dominated over (I hope that makes sense). I for one find the idea of subbing repulsive, though every once in a while a switch as to who ties up who is a fun change, actually subbing is NOT my idea of a fun scene.

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Hello tealsphynx it is lovely to hear Your voice in this thread.

I also see an incredible strength in male subs that is hot and one of the biggest turn ons I can think of.

One of My boys is a wild child that only brutality and cruelty can control but when he is dragged to his knees kicking and screaming his submission is mesmerizing. his martial arts back ground is interesting to use in humiliation play knowing the it is useless to him if I simply crack the single tail at his feet. he is down...shivering in need. HOT STUFF!

Yet those I own who are more feminine and sissifed are no less attractive to My Domination.

tc2002 said:

As someone who is just finding out how much exactly i enjoy being a sub it is kinda hard. The one woman who has started me on this sub road, barely talks to me. I have three things i am to do every day, each day. occasionaly, but rarely she will reward me with an actuall session of online play, but most of the time, all she tells me, after i send her a story or home made porn, is cum now slut. That is the limit to my interaction with my mistress. I write stories or poems for her daily and send her pictures and video, but she just uses me. While i was orignaly happy about this, as i was enjoying my new "sub" lifestyle... i soon grew bored of it, and started to read around. I know what i have is not a true sub/dom relationship. Being my age and body type its hard for me to find a mistress willing to teach me (im only 21 and a bit on the heavy side) what a true sub/dom relationship can be.

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Hello tc2002 and thank you for adding your voice to this thread. your voice is very valuable here as you are just beginning the journey and discovering your new sexuality. In all honesty it is not easy to find a Mistress no matter your body type..your age or your location.

Online can be dissatisfying when you are experimenting with someone that knows no more than you do sometimes because one of the partners progresses faster than another or simply because you chose a partner simply because she is the first one that said she would Dominate you. Stay focused and hopeful and do not move forward in desperation or excitement..know what you have to offer and be realistic...you will find your magic.

rcuhljr said:

Thank you for starting this thread, it's been informative so far and promises some interesting discussions. *scurries back to lurking*

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Hello rcuhljr...I certainly hope that you will feel comfortable to participate before this thread dies! I will be watching you...and ADR and KC will tell you...My eyes are everywhere!

Shadowsdream said:

<snip> I would love to hear the voice of your Mistress in this thread!

Thank you so much for giving us a little insight into your world. Every word shared by male subs helps others realize how common some attitudes are and that there is hope to find the Mistress of their dreams. Also the appreciation for their submission!

Click to expand...

The voice of my Mistress is here..TealSphynx! Thank you Lady Shadow for this thread, I appreciate it very much!

Hmm, a conversation I'd like to join, but I'm not sure what I can offer, ah well, let's give it a try.
I've not recieved too much chiding about being a male sub, well, mainly because I've not told anyone in real life, I've recieved a bit online but it more amuses me than anything else, it's a funny conversation when a friend calls you whipped and you thank him for it, leaves them very much confused, it's very amusing. Of course, on the net that's easy enough, I can't imagine myself having the confidence to do that to someone's face, which is why I've not told anyone yet. Hehehe, as for the masculinity thing, I know that's certainly not my appeal, I'm pretty small, I certainly do understand the appeal itself though. Umm, that's about all I can think of for now, but I'll be reading....

Well, the only one of my friends to wrinkle his nose at me for being submissive is kinda like a Lancecastor type dom (for those who remember Lancecastor's posts). As for the girls in the bunch of friends, I don't hear much bad or good. As for the munches, there seems to be a big domme contingent (if you call between 6-7 dommes a big contingent) to keep the doms in line from bullying any of the male subs.

Generally, in terms of art, I've always seen the male sub as big tall muscular guy, collared and at times made to have the man look like a slobbering beast - with a short(er) mistress to keep him in line. Then I actually looked at adult material and then the image kind of turned around and it left me feeling a bit odd.

Shadowsdream said:

A question for you if you don't mind....did you become switch to be able to have a piece of the BDSM world when submission wasn't getting you anywhere or was switching something you began because of a dominant side to your personality?

Click to expand...

It would mostly depend on my partner and, more importantly, upon the situation itself. I believe everybody has a trace of switch in them. Yes, I do have a dominant side to me that when stroked at the right time, will come out to play. However, I am naturally submissive, and fit much better with a more dominant partner. But again, much depends upon the environment I'm in at the time. Thank you for asking.

Shadowsdream said:

I suspect the reason male subs have trouble finding their match in the areas I go to is that most Dommes are already paired up and most of the others do not play with switches except in the club environments and then as Top and bottom.

I know that I as a Mistress search for a certain look in the males eyes before I consider them...if I just see a man looking for play I have no interest in him beyond friendship.

Never give up...your magic is out there.

Thank you for adding your voice to this conversation

Click to expand...

I understand the reasons for the difficulty in male subs finding the right situation. Same can be said for anybody who seeks the "right" situation. But I have noticed that female subs get offered the chance more often if there is any questions regarding validity. Female subs that switch are far more often accepted than male subs that do. As with all journeys, finding the right Domme is a long and sometimes tedious adventure.

Aeroil said:

Hmm, a conversation I'd like to join, but I'm not sure what I can offer, ah well, let's give it a try.
I've not recieved too much chiding about being a male sub, well, mainly because I've not told anyone in real life, I've recieved a bit online but it more amuses me than anything else, it's a funny conversation when a friend calls you whipped and you thank him for it, leaves them very much confused, it's very amusing. Of course, on the net that's easy enough, I can't imagine myself having the confidence to do that to someone's face, which is why I've not told anyone yet. Hehehe, as for the masculinity thing, I know that's certainly not my appeal, I'm pretty small, I certainly do understand the appeal itself though. Umm, that's about all I can think of for now, but I'll be reading....

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Hello Aeroil and thank you for adding your voice to this conversation. Your voice is as valuable as any and your opinions are valid.

It is your submissive heart and needs that will take precedents over your size when you venture into the mainstream BDSM world. If all goes well you will move from online to real time when the time is exactly right for you.

Xelebes said:

Well, the only one of my friends to wrinkle his nose at me for being submissive is kinda like a Lancecastor type dom (for those who remember Lancecastor's posts). As for the girls in the bunch of friends, I don't hear much bad or good. As for the munches, there seems to be a big domme contingent (if you call between 6-7 dommes a big contingent) to keep the doms in line from bullying any of the male subs.

Generally, in terms of art, I've always seen the male sub as big tall muscular guy, collared and at times made to have the man look like a slobbering beast - with a short(er) mistress to keep him in line. Then I actually looked at adult material and then the image kind of turned around and it left me feeling a bit odd.

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Hello Xelebes

There is a vast difference between adult material and reality in the BDSM world. That is what you are discovering. Submissives and Dominants come in all sizes and sexualities...in fact I find that the subs are evenly divided between large and "manly" looking and those that are small and "delicate" looking. The Dommes are also not only looking for m,asculinity but a mans more feminine side very often.

Thank you for adding your voice to this conversation ~~smile~~

Alt said:

It would mostly depend on my partner and, more importantly, upon the situation itself. I believe everybody has a trace of switch in them. Yes, I do have a dominant side to me that when stroked at the right time, will come out to play. However, I am naturally submissive, and fit much better with a more dominant partner. But again, much depends upon the environment I'm in at the time. Thank you for asking.

I always wonder why some think that "everybody" has a trace of switch in them...I am still waiting to see that trace in Myself and and a Dom/me or two that are friends of Mine. Perhaps it the 4th decade of My BDSM journey it will rear its ugly head! ~~grin~~



I understand the reasons for the difficulty in male subs finding the right situation. Same can be said for anybody who seeks the "right" situation. But I have noticed that female subs get offered the chance more often if there is any questions regarding validity. Female subs that switch are far more often accepted than male subs that do. As with all journeys, finding the right Domme is a long and sometimes tedious adventure.

Click to expand...

I have noticed that female subs that come newly into the clubs I belong to are scooped up before they get a chance to become oriented but just as quickly let loose...their newness fades quickly...the males are given more space to become known and show who they are so that when they do get a position with a Domme it has a larger chance of being authentic and long lasting.

I am a believer in enjoying the journey of finding the right Mistress and taking slow cautious steps and you will be more likely to find your magic and still be free when She enters your world.

I try and stay in shape as best I can. But to this point I haven't faced any discrimination of being a "big" sub. In fact, I think that may heighten the attraction/arousal byt submitting to a physically smaller Domme. I enjoy being submissive, but I feel I have no choice.