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How do you cope?

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jill999

Experienced
Joined
Mar 16, 2002
Posts
59
To my fellow authors:

I posted a story here a few days ago and have had an emotional roller coaster with the response I received from it. So far I have received about 20 emails all of which were either positive or constructive. Those were wonderful and I loved them.

But then there were the hateful public postings left by people who wouldn't identify themselves. I deleted most of them since they were ugly and didn't deserve any attention.

I can also tell from the ratings that most who have viewed the story appreciated my efforts. But there are a handful who come in and give you a "one" rating out of five. I think they do it just to be cruel.

Is this common here? It makes me wonder why I would ever post on a free site like this again. The few who wish to be hateful make it difficult for someone like me who possesses the desire to please others.

Please let me know how you deal with this if it ever happened to you.

Your friend,

Jill
 
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Jill, it's universal. The fact that you've received a lot of feedback is great. On the occasions when I've found out why I got a one vote, it's been becasue I did something like refer to condoms, or gay sex, or something that was some sad fuck's pet peeve.
 
Ah, yes. The one bombers. Welcome to the fold, Jill. :rose: As far as I know, most laugh it off and ignore it. And vent here, of course.

There is much experience here with the votes and PCs you refer to. Hopefully, others will have good advice for you. Since I have none, can I offer you a simple hug? :rose:

*HUGS*
 
jill999 said:
To my fellow authors:

I posted a story here a few days ago and have had an emotional roller coaster with the response I received from it. So far I have received about 20 emails all of which were either positive or constructive. Those were wonderful and I loved them.

But then there were the hateful public postings lefy by people who wouldn't identify themselves. I deleted most of them since they were ugly and didn't deserve any attention.

I can also tell from the ratings that most who have viwed the story appreciated my efforts. But there are a handful who come in and give you a "one" rating out of five. I think they do it just to be cruel.

Is this common here? It makes me wonder why I would ever post on a free site like this again. The few who wish to be hateful make it difficult for someone like me who possesses the desire to please others.

Please let me know how you deal with this if it ever happened to you.

Your friend,

Jill
Click to expand...

Unfortunatly, 'trolling' is quite common on this site. The downside of a completly free and open site is that there are very few restrictions in place for it's visitors. Just about everyone who has posted stories here has been trolled at least once, most several times. My alter ego (the name I previously posted under) had 4 stories up, several were doing quite well untill another author took exception to one sentence in one story. Within a week, all the stories I had posted were trolled into oblivion.

The fact that everyone gets trolled helps even out the effects of the '1 bombs', (a vote of 1 on the 1 to 5 scale) by voters who are almost always annomonous. The hateful comments do suck and since they are almost always annon, there is very little you can do about them. Most authors here choose to joke about them and generally ignore them. From time to time you will see a "Thank you Troll" thread or a "Thank You Annonomous" thread pop up here where authors post some of their more choice hate mail so everyone can get a good laugh at the troll's expence.

Hope this helps, and welcome to the Authors Hangout.
 
How ElSol deals with the trolls:

A vote of 1 is someone's epiphany that they could not do better... in fact, it so far beyond their capability that their reaction is visceral.

In many ways, I feel pity.

I stop reading something I THINK I might dislike after three sentences, so really what kind of life is it that someone finds ANY amusement or a feeling of self-worth from taking you down.

I'll try to make you feel better though by repeating, yet again, my favorite quote on the subject.

"It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, if he wins, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."
Click to expand...

Fight on gladiator! Fight on!

Okay... that last was too much, but you might be able to tell that I come built-in with the protection of a completely skewed sense of my own self-worth.

Sincerely,
ElSol
 
Jill, welcome to the AH. Mostly people are nice and constructive. You have to let the majority of your feedback rule and it sounds like it's been positive. Some of the best authors and poets I know on Lit have been trolled or verbally abused in feedback. It's something we all can commiserate over. Overall, the encouragement here at Lit is unsurpassed by any site I've been on. Post a few more stories and you'll find yourself leaving up troll pc's as battle scars.
 
I was always taught if you can't say something nice, or at least helpful don't say anything at all.

Afraid the "cowards" who for multiple reasons and deficiencies do not leave their contact details are a sometimes all to present problem, but go back and read the good feedback - doesn't it feel good! And hold onto that and learn from it and enjoy it, its not worth worrying about the rest.

And those that send hateful feedback, and leave a contact address - few times i've not been able to hold my tongue I have sent a very "sweet" thank you, upsets them even more than ranting :p

 
Welcome to the AH jill!

Don't sweat the trolls. They're holding their egos up by bashing you. They know they couldn't match your creativity in a thousand years so they make themselves feel better by taking a piece out of you.

The people that own this site do a sweep for one bombs occasionally so it's quite likely bad votes will disappear.

And you can delete the comments if you want. No need to keep one if you think it has noting useful to offer you.
 
jill999 said:
To my fellow authors:

I posted a story here a few days ago and have had an emotional roller coaster with the response I received from it. So far I have received about 20 emails all of which were either positive or constructive. Those were wonderful and I loved them.

But then there were the hateful public postings left by people who wouldn't identify themselves. I deleted most of them since they were ugly and didn't deserve any attention.

I can also tell from the ratings that most who have viewed the story appreciated my efforts. But there are a handful who come in and give you a "one" rating out of five. I think they do it just to be cruel.

Is this common here? It makes me wonder why I would ever post on a free site like this again. The few who wish to be hateful make it difficult for someone like me who possesses the desire to please others.

Please let me know how you deal with this if it ever happened to you.

Your friend,

Jill
Click to expand...

You're going to get that anywhere you go. No matter if you post something online or have something published offline, you're going to get that. Of course, there will be people who genuinely don't like your work, but that's a case that is, unfortunately, rather rare. Most of the time it's people with nothing to do and no talent they're proud of.
When I choose to share my writing with others, it's for the same reason as you: I enjoy sharing the thing I love most with others and knowing it brings them happiness. I really don't understand why people feel the need to piss on that, but I've come to accept it as a fact of life. It may suck, but you've got yourself two very good reasons to continue: 1) the people who read your work are worth a thousand times what trolls are and 2) if you continue, despite their best efforts to bring you down, it goes straight up their asses. A bit vindictive, perhaps, but oh well. Instead of looking at your score as lower because of trolls, look at it as pretty damn high, considering there are people trying to destroy that. I've considered it a real mark of success that I've done as well as I have, despite those people who are determined to see me fail.

Which reminds me, is that running over trolls with tanks thing still on? It was such a good idea.
 
jill999 said:
To my fellow authors:

I posted a story here a few days ago and have had an emotional roller coaster with the response I received from it. So far I have received about 20 emails all of which were either positive or constructive. Those were wonderful and I loved them.

But then there were the hateful public postings left by people who wouldn't identify themselves. I deleted most of them since they were ugly and didn't deserve any attention.

I can also tell from the ratings that most who have viewed the story appreciated my efforts. But there are a handful who come in and give you a "one" rating out of five. I think they do it just to be cruel.

Is this common here? It makes me wonder why I would ever post on a free site like this again. The few who wish to be hateful make it difficult for someone like me who possesses the desire to please others.

Please let me know how you deal with this if it ever happened to you.

Your friend,

Jill
Click to expand...


take it as a compliment honey, your story's good enough that someone believed it and got shitty cos they didn't like some of it, as joe said, usually religious nuts, queer bashers, and recently cheated on husband's.
 
I remember the first nasty feedback I ever got...I was stunned. They called me everything one could think of, and slammed me personally.

Then, on the umpteenth re-reading of that particular note it came to me...they were upset with the characters, not me persay...I was the scapegoat because I wrote what happened, and they disliked where that went.

In the end I have come to understand that when one gets a real venomous attack on a story, if one looks closely it is usually about the characters and how the story went. Not that you were a 'bad' author. Matter of fact, when one gets that kind of feedback, remember, if they are that angry, that mad, so mad they take the time to write about your story, then you have achieved what all authors set out to do anyway...emotionally involve the reader in your work. ;)

One must have a fairly tough skin to submit stories, and I imagine that submitting one to an agent or publisher...you could get far worse..."Feedback". ;)
 
I take any positive or constructive criticism very seriously and use it, but when someone gets insulting or nasty, I just think of what it says in the Bible. You know... "Fuck 'em".

It's in there somewhere. I think around Deuteronomy.
 
You received 20 positive emails from one story?!?

Great work! :nana:

If that ever happened to me I would spend so much time writing replies, thanking them for reading my drivel, asking how their dog was doing, and exchanging meatless hamburger helper recipes, that I would never get any time to write another story, let alone get stressed out just because some duffi (more than one duffus) said thay hated my yarn. Especially anonymously!

Even if they ALL criticise my story, I can still spend some happy time writing witty (okay, half witty) responses to their criticism.

Even if they send their negative critiques anonymously, no one can stop me from writing my response — it’s just sending them that’s difficult.

But by that time, I have exorcized my evil spirits into my keyboard.

Don’t let them get on your tits, and welcome to the AH!

BTW: Here is a link to one of those Anonymous Feedback threads china-doll mentioned.
 
brightlyiburn said:
Which reminds me, is that running over trolls with tanks thing still on? It was such a good idea.
Click to expand...

Choosing my stilettos is just taking so long for that raid! Let's see....patent leather, or not?
 
cloudy said:
Choosing my stilettos is just taking so long for that raid! Let's see....patent leather, or not?
Click to expand...

I recommend something with a closed toe. It could get a bit messy.
 
Boota said:
I take any positive or constructive criticism very seriously and use it, but when someone gets insulting or nasty, I just think of what it says in the Bible. You know... "Fuck 'em".

It's in there somewhere. I think around Deuteronomy.
Click to expand...

I think that had something to do with "go forth and multiply..."

The truth is that ones who come along and trash you for any reason they can justify are just jealous losers if they're not contributing something usefull in their commentary. Don't sweat'em. Keep their comments there as trophies.

:cool:
 
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Thanks to all of you who helped explain the way things work here. It was a relief to hear this is common place here.

I guess I let one of the creeps get to me when he said I was an unfit mother for writing filth. That one hurt and made me think if writing erotic literature was appropriate for a mom. It does provoke some people to extreme behavior.

I have written under my pen name Jill999 for a few years but posted mostly on pay sites. I might have already established a bit of a following because many members of those pay sites frequently asked me to post here. I never experienced personal attacks there. I did post at one other free site a few years back and actually had a stalker hunt down every personal detail about me including where I lived and my phone number. That was a very difficult time for me. And the cops can't do anything to protect you.

Oh, Virtual Burlesque, I did spend about an hour last night responding to each and every email from the wonderful members who actually identified themselves. Several of them have excellent stories posted here and I respected their suggestions. One member already had a sequel completely outlined for me.

Once again thanks for helping a newbie to this forum.

Your friend,

Jill
 
jill999 said:
I guess I let one of the creeps get to me when he said I was an unfit mother for writing filth. That one hurt and made me think if writing erotic literature was appropriate for a mom. It does provoke some people to extreme behavior.
Click to expand...

So a guy told you that erotica was wrong? But he found you while surfing a porn site? Hmmmm... I think you know where to file his comment...

6265862.jpg
 
china-doll said:
So a guy told you that erotica was wrong? But he found you while surfing a porn site? Hmmmm... I think you know where to file his comment...

6265862.jpg
Click to expand...

Oh, see, now, I would have filed that comment up the guy's hypocrtical ass...

But then, I do tend to be a wee bit tempermental... :D
 
brightlyiburn said:
Oh, see, now, I would have filed that comment up the guy's hypocrtical ass...

But then, I do tend to be a wee bit tempermental... :D
Click to expand...

I couldn't find a pic of a hypocrtical ass. ;)
 
brightlyiburn said:
*cough* George W. Bush *cough*

(Well, it would sorta work...)
Click to expand...

I didn't want to turn this into a ploitical thread.

Besides, who really want's to look at a pic of that? I'd rather look at the trash can. ;)
 
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