Ask Me Anything - The Whiskeyjack Edition

I've been tagged by the delightful PLP to take on the next AMA thread and who can say no to her? So for the next 24 hours, post whatever questions you like about me and I'll do my best to pretend to have answers.

Whiskeyjack said:

I've been tagged by the delightful PLP to take on the next AMA thread and who can say no to her? So for the next 24 hours, post whatever questions you like about me and I'll do my best to pretend to have answers.

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If you could have one completely useless superpower, what would it be?

Do you think monks or priests who have taken a vow of celibacy still masturbate? If so, do you think it’s possible to masturbate without visual stimulation or lustful thoughts?

Ratchetman1982 said:

If you could have one completely useless superpower, what would it be?

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I already have one useless superpower. Whenever I see a house centipede I gain the ability to scream like a 4-year-old girl.

If I had to choose a new one, it'd be rock-skipping. I like to skip rocks in the river when I'm stressed out and it calms me down. My personal best is 22 skips. The world record is 88. If I had a super-power that would improve my rock-skipping, that'd be just fine with me. So it's not entirely useless, but it's not useful to anyone besides me.

ShyNaughtyGirl said:

Yay!! This will be fun

1) If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?

2) If a genie granted you 3 wishes right now, what would you wish for? (and you cant wish for more wishes!)


Bonus Filth Question

1) what was the last thing you typed into a search bar of a porn site (i.e. "office affair" or "bbw doggystyle")

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1 - Being alone in a bad mood usually tends to make it worse, so it's definitely helpful for me to have someone there to cheer me up. Or even if they can't cheer me up, at least sit and wallow with me for a little while.

2 - Right now I'd wish for 1- some modest financial security for me family - we're trying to both pay down debts and save money for a house and it's difficult to do both and still keep up with the bills. 2- that our family could be a little bit healthier; my wife and I are trying to lose weight and that's a struggle, plus we see our kids making some of the same poor decisions that led us to where we are. 3- that my autistic son could better communicate with us and tell us what he needs and likes and that he could ask us questions.

Bonus filth question - I think it was "Milf FFM threesome" or something along those lines. I don't remember the exact verbiage.

Lonelywife1205 said:

Do you think monks or priests who have taken a vow of celibacy still masturbate? If so, do you think it’s possible to masturbate without visual stimulation or lustful thoughts?

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There are probably some asexual (or nearly asexual) priests out there who have no problem at all fulfilling their celibacy vows and don't masturbate. I'm fairly certain they're in the minority. Can the priests who do flog the bishop do it without visual stimulation? Probably. But I don't know how you do it without lustful thoughts. I think one thing we've learned over the past couple decades of church sex scandals is that vows of celibacy don't always mean a whole lot to the people taking them.

A little Joisey to Joisey here:

—The diners that seem to be on every block: awful, awesome or in between? What do you like to get at one?
—What is the biggest misconception people have about the Garden State?
—What is the best thing about living here? The worst?

ydahecnot said:

A little Joisey to Joisey here:

—The diners that seem to be on every block: awful, awesome or in between? What do you like to get at one?
—What is the biggest misconception people have about the Garden State?
—What is the best thing about living here? The worst?

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Follow up to this...do you enjoy disco fries? I just learned what these are.

ydahecnot said:

A little Joisey to Joisey here:

—The diners that seem to be on every block: awful, awesome or in between? What do you like to get at one?
—What is the biggest misconception people have about the Garden State?
—What is the best thing about living here? The worst?

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I think diners are absolutely awesome, but you have to know what you're getting into. The diner closest to me is owned by a Greek family and they put out some terrific Greek food. I have no problems ordering gyros and dolmades there. But if I saw those on a diner menu at some place I'd never been before I'd probably stick to a burger and fries.

The biggest misconception is that it's all one big urban, industrial wasteland. There are parts of the state that certainly fit that bill, but most of New Jersey is absolutely lovely. We have farms and small towns and every place is a little bit different. Also, by and large, most New Jerseyans are not nearly as rude as we're portrayed to be. Some of us are even nice.

There are a lot of best things about living here. One of my favorite things about where I live is just the diversity. I like to eat and we have a ton of different cuisines within just a couple miles. So we have all the Jersey favorites - pizza, subs, diners, etc., and also authentic Indian, Brazilian, Ethiopian, Lebanese, Cuban, and a whole bunch of other restaurants as well. The one thing I wish we had that's hard to find is good southern-style BBQ. Most of the BBQ places around here are Brazilian-style (which is still delicious).

Worst thing is just the cost of living. We're trying to save up to buy a house and it's just an expensive market to get into. I think the benefits are well worth the costs, but the costs are still substantial.

Lonelywife1205 said:

Follow up to this...do you enjoy disco fries? I just learned what these are.

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So, I don't much care for disco fries, simply because I don't much care for cheese (there was a kerfuffle about this on one of the other threads a week or so ago). But for people who do like cheese, they're the perfect drunk food. At least, that's what my cheese-eating wife tells me.

Hi Whiskeyjack,

Okay, some serious ones…

As a parent;

* Do you think your relationship with your kids is better or worse than the relationship you had while growing up with your own parents?

* Do you have higher expectations for your kids than you do for yourself?

* Do you have bad experiences from your past that you share with your kids as cautionary tales, or do you try to maintain an idealized facade with hopes they will aspire to a better example?

AlexBailey said:

Hi Whiskeyjack,

Okay, some serious ones…

As a parent;

* Do you think your relationship with your kids is better or worse than the relationship you had while growing up with your own parents?

* Do you have higher expectations for your kids than you do for yourself?

* Do you have bad experiences from your past that you share with your kids as cautionary tales, or do you try to maintain an idealized facade with hopes they will aspire to a better example?

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1 - That's difficult to quantify. I had a good relationship with my parents, and I think I have a good relationship with my kids. But they're different kinds of relationships. My parents were much more the "I'm your parent, not your friend" type, while I'm much more likely to joke around with my kids (not that my jokes are always appreciated). So, neither better nor worse. Just very different styles.

2 - I think I expect my older kids to make certain milestones on a timeline closer to what might be expected than I did. For example, I went to college off and on for 12 years before I finally graduated. I hope that if they choose to go to college that they'll be able to finish it in 4 years (or closer to 4 years than I did). There were a lot of things going on in my life in my 20's and 30's that prevented me from finishing my degree, but if I'd been able to do it sooner I could have started my career sooner and been a lot more financially and professionally secure by now. If the college route is something they're interested in, I hope they have a smoother path than I did.

With my youngest son, the one with autism, it's still far too early to tell what can be expected of him. We have no idea how independently he's going to be able to live as he gets older or what his benchmarks for success will be. Right now our focus with him is on much more short-term goals.

3 - Oh, I'm full of cautionary tales. If I'm trying to put up some sort of facade of a perfect example for them to live up to I'm doing a really terrible job of it. It feels like twice a week I say something like, "You kids see what dad just did? Don't do that."

Faralicious said:

Hey there.

Do you think us atheists are terrible, or do you pity us?

What is your favorite way to eat a potato?

Do you want to see my boobs?

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I *love* atheists! I often find them easier to get along with than Christians. I think there's a stereotype that atheists spend their whole days just talking shit about religious people, but I've never found that to be the case at all. One or two might do it occasionally, but for the most part I just don't see it.

I love roasted potatoes. Just dice some up, toss them with some olive oil, salt, and herbs, and throw them in the oven for a while. They're always delicious. But I'm trying to think of a way to eat potatoes that isn't delicious and I'm coming up blank.

Of course I want to see your boobs! Boobs make me phenomenally happy!
As a married man, here's where I draw the line on Lit, though. If someone posts their boobs on one of the public threads, that's like a topless woman walking down the street in broad daylight - those boobs are fair game and I will happily ogle them to my hearts content. I'll never ask for a boob pic, or solicit one in a PM or anything, because that's private and more like inviting a woman into your home or bedroom. Boobs that are public and available to everyone are fine for me. Boobs that are private and just for me, well... that's what my wife is for.

Rainshine said:

What do you find most attractive in a woman?

What turns you on the most?

Do you have dirty thoughts about people in your congregation (because I guarantee they have it about you)?

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I don't know how to put into words what I find most attractive in a woman. The women I'm most attracted to are the ones where our personalities just click. It's nothing physical or that I can even pinpoint to intelligence or a sense of humor... it's just there have been a handful of women I've known in my life who I've been able to talk with for hours on end and it's just effortless. If we can do that, chances are I'm going to develop a pretty big crush on you.

The biggest turn on is enthusiasm. I certainly have my preferences as far as physical features and sex acts. But really - if she's into me and is eager to do things with/to me... I'm turned on. That's really all it takes.

I can honestly say that I have not had dirty thoughts about anyone in my congregation. Keep in mind that my congregation is fairly small and most of my congregants remember the end of the world war - the first one. Now, if dear sweet Edith who just celebrated her 102nd birthday is imagining doing dirty things to me under the pulpit, well... that's on her. I have a ton of sexual fantasies, but I can't say that Edith is in any of them. Sorry, Edith.

Poor Edith...

• Fall flavors - do you like salted caramel, apple cinnamon or pumpkin spice more?

• What is best and worst part of sheparding a flock?

• Has Lit had a ripple affect in your at home bedroom time?

Rainshine said:

Poor Edith, you are probably her final wish.

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Don't you worry about Edith. I've a hunch she was a closet freak back in the day. She's had more than her fair share.

PrettyLilPussy19 said:

Poor Edith...

• Fall flavors - do you like salted caramel, apple cinnamon or pumpkin spice more?

• What is best and worst part of sheparding a flock?

• Has Lit had a ripple affect in your at home bedroom time?

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Fall flavors - I'm not a huge fan of salted caramel. But asking me to decide between apple cinnamon and pumpkin spice is tough. I'll go with apple cinnamon, but mostly because it brings back memories of making barrels of cider for the town picnic when I was a kid.

Best part - Just getting to know people and be a part of their lives. Getting to celebrate births and graduations and weddings with people - it's like no other job that I can think of. The emotional and spiritual rewards are absolutely tremendous.

Worst part - Have I mentioned that I'm getting tired of doing funerals? When your job is to be in peoples' lives, that means being with them in times of grief and loss. Like I said, I have a very small congregation. Before 2020 I was doing maybe 3 or 4 funerals a year. During the worst of the pandemic it was 5 or 6 a month. They weren't all church members, but a lot were relatives of congregants, or occasionally I'd just get a call from a funeral home, "hey, this person you've never met before is being buried on Friday - the family would like a minister to come and say some prayers." It's calmed down significantly since then (my entire congregation is vaccinated, as is most of our county). But I could go the next decade without doing another funeral and it'd still be too soon.

So... I'd say that Lit has helped keep my at-home bedroom time sane. Like a lot of people on here, I deeply love and care for my wife, but our sex drives have just taken different trajectories over the years. I'm not quite the horndog I was as a teenager, but I'm a lot closer to that than my wife is now. I showed Lit to her way back when, but she didn't have any interest. We read a few stories together and that was about it. So I'm not exactly using Lit to pick up new tricks and bring them into the bedroom. But it does give me an outlet where I can be a little bit pervy, mentally indulge in a few interests that we don't share as often, but also not be tempted to jump into bed with someone else. So I can't say that Lit has spiced up my sex life much. But it has kept it from going on life support. If that makes sense?

Faralicious said:

Great answers, WJ.
We’ve spoken about the first question, some. You’re a badass.

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Yep - a doughy, pasty badass with a Doctor Who bedspread and a weakness for strawberry milkshakes. I'm as bad as they come.

Rainshine said:

What’s been the highlight of your life so far?

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There are three happiest days in my life that are emblazoned in my memory that I'll never forget. The first is my wedding day. The second is the birth of my first child. The third is the night the Boston Red Sox clinched the 2004 World Series, forever ending the curse of the bambino.
In terms of happiness experienced, those events are NOT one, two, three in that order.

Rainshine said:

The lowlight?

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My mother's death hit me really hard. She'd had breast cancer for 9 years. I was 19, a sophomore in college, and while we knew it was coming, I wasn't prepared for it at all. Like, I'd call home every few days and we'd talk, and I knew that she was getting some bad test results, but I couldn't really hear it in her voice - she still sounded lively and chipper. But then one weekend my dad called and said I should come home, so I hopped on a train and when I got there she was weak and could barely open her eyes, much less say anything. Her death sent me into an emotional tailspin. I wound up leaving college, made a whole series of bad decisions, each one compounding the badness of the next, and it took me the better part of a decade to start getting my life back on track. I could say a whole lot more, but it's really not my favorite subject to talk about.

Rainshine said:

Who has been your life’s inspiration (apart from the big guy, JC)?

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I mean, John Cena seems like a good guy and he's done a lot with his life, but I'm not sure I'd call him my life's inspiration

I don't think I can pick one person who's inspired me. My "inspiration" is a conglomeration of a bunch of people. I could include my mother, father, older brothers, favorite pastor, favorite seminary professor, and a handful of theologians and philosophers. But there's no one person who I'm trying to emulate or who makes me say, "I'm doing this all for you."

What kind of music do you enjoy?

How important is music in your life?

Is there live music in your home?

ShyNaughtyGirl said:

If you had one day where money was no object, and no kids around, what would you do for that day?

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I'm a huge Liverpool FC fan, but I've never been to a game. I'd love to take in a game at Anfield, sing "You'll Never Walk Alone" with 50,000 drunk English football hooligans, have some fish & chips for dinner, then catch a first class flight back home. I wonder if they have some VIP experience where I could pay to meet Jurgen Klopp and pick his brain for a while...

AlexBailey said:

What kind of music do you enjoy?

How important is music in your life?

Is there live music in your home?

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I like most kinds of music but the two genres closest to my heart are 90's alt-rock and opera. But there's very little I won't listen to.

I used to have dreams of being a classical musician. But I realized by the end of high school that there was a huge gap between my dreams and my talent. I still pull out my old French horn from time to time, but I mostly play just because it makes me happy. But there's always music of some kind playing in our house.

As for live music in our home - really just when I break out the French horn. I also have a guitar that I can plunk out about a half-dozen chords on, but nobody's going to mistake me for a guitarist. No one else in my family is really musical. My older son took trumpet lessons for a year, but didn't have much interest. He gave it an honest try and I didn't want to force him and make him hate it.

Rainshine said:

Do you have a go-to scent/cologne?

What do you hope your legacy is?

What do you imagine your favourite Litster would say about you if I asked them to tell me about you?


What did you last buy online?

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I do have a go-to cologne and I have no idea what it is. My wife's uncle works for a fragrance company and gets these huge bottles of colognes and fragrances which he gives out like candy. Unfortunately, these bottles are unlabeled, and I have no idea what I'm using and I've never thought to ask. I don't wear it very often, and at the rate I use it, my current bottle will last me about 400 years, so it's not like I need to worry about buying more.

I'd be happy if, when I'm gone, people think back on me and say that I was kind. That I raised a good family. And maybe did some good in the world. That'd be a legacy I'd be happy with.

There is one Litster I'm fairly close friends with. She'd probably tell you that I'm patient, that I like to listen to people, and that I'm a way bigger perv than I publicly let on.

My last online purchase was a set of plush toys for my 4-year old. Specifically, the facehugger and chestburster from "Alien." He has a large collection of horror movie plushes - Jason, Chucky, Ash Williams, Michael Myers... a whole bunch of others. These seem to fit the theme. I don't go much for horror movies myself, but my wife loves them and started buying the toys. I'll happily buy them too, so long as I don't have to watch the movies.

Good evening sir. I don't believe we ever met that I recall. Yet I have been feeling my age lately.

Since it seems like you're from New Jersey, I have a simple question.
Do you think they need to rename all of the New York teams that play in your fair state since technically they should be the New Jersey Giants, the New Jersey Jets...etc.?

Azuldrgon said:

Good evening sir. I don't believe we ever met that I recall. Yet I have been feeling my age lately.

Since it seems like you're from New Jersey, I have a simple question.
Do you think they need to rename all of the New York teams that play in your fair state since technically they should be the New Jersey Giants, the New Jersey Jets...etc.?

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I do like New Jersey. However, I'm originally from New England, so I root against all the New York teams. It doesn't matter to me in the slightest what they're called, so long as they lose.

Rainshine said:

What would your last meal be?

In an ideal world what is your version of the perfect day??

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Last meal would be a seafood boil, heavy on the crab legs.

My perfect day would start with zero responsibilities. Not having to worry about having anything to do, no projects or assignments ahead of me, no looming deadlines, nothing to take me out of the moment. As far as what I'd do... that depends. Right now, in my current mood, I'd love a day that involved some good sex, some good food, and an evening at the opera. I haven't gotten to dress up for anything lately (unless you want to count funerals). I like getting dressed up and going out.

What is the best or most significant life advice you can share with us?

Apple_of_Eden said:

What is the best or most significant life advice you can share with us?

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I'm hesitant to answer this question because I don't think most life advice can be applied universally. If you're a cannonball-into-the-cold-pool kind of person you're going to need different advice than a tiptoe-an-inch-at-a-time person. That being said, I think the best advice I've gotten, and that I frequently give, is that you can go a lot farther if you're willing to ask for help. Yes, there's something to be said for figuring something out on your own, but by and large, if there's an issue that's a sticking point for you, whether it's a physical task, a mental block, a relationship problem, or whatever, there's almost always someone you can turn to for help. Put your pride aside and call your friend, doctor, co-worker, spouse, minister, or whoever, share the problem, and ask for help.

ShyNaughtyGirl said:

Your 24 hours is very nearly up, so lets get in some last minute questions!!!

1) What's your most prized possession and why?

2) What originally got you interested in your current field of work?

3) If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want?

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1 - A quilt that my mother had started making before she died. After she passed one of my aunts finished it and gave it to me and my wife as a wedding present.

2 - Honestly, I really just wanted to study ancient languages and have some practical use for them. I can't say there wasn't a spiritual aspect to my choice of career, but on some level I did just want an excuse to geek out on old languages.

3 - Probably touch? You can probably lose other senses and still live a fairly independent life (although losing multiple sense probably compounds issues pretty quick). Living independently without a sense of touch is probably a much bigger challenge.

Ok, my 24 hours are more than up. Further questions can be directed to the next AMA hosted by ShyNaughtyGirl!
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1551598