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Sweet sweet SunnyDays1

Little Johnny calls his daddy

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit,

She instructed her son Little Johnny to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site.

After Little Johnny had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up daddy’s phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.

Women!! ?????

Hearing this Mom got angry.

She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway,

she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure.

People from the neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was.

The woman asked Little Johnny to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.

Little Johnny said:

* * * * * * * * * *

“The subscriber you have dialed is not available at present. Please Try Again Later…”

at the doctor's office

getting an x-ray

[removed by admin]

Ceasefire broken!

Once upon a time Sweden and Norway was at war, The war was getting pretty bad for both sides so they decided to have a ceasefire.

At the front line there were 2 watchtowers, 1 on each side of the border and there was one Norwegian and one Swedish solider on watch out duty on each side of the border.

One day the Swede got bored and tried communicating with the Norwegian, he yelled and shouted but could not get the Norwegian solider's Attention. So he figured he'll use hand signals instead, while shouting, ARE YOU IN THE AIR FORCE ,he did notion with his hands imitating an aircraft going down. The Norwegian thought to himself what the fuck? he could not hear him all he saw was the hand motion.

The second time the Swede shouted, ARE YOU IN THE MARINES? while doing a swimming motion with his arms.

The Norwegian solider started to get real agitated because he could not hear what he was saying, he could only see the hand signals.

Then the Swede shouted ARE YOU IN THE ARTILLERY while shaking his fist up and down.
The Norwegian was at this point furious and vowed to shoot the Swede if he did one more hand gesture.

The fourth and final time the Swede shouted, ARE YOU KEEPING AN EYE ON US? while pointing his fingers to his eyes and then the Norwegian.

The Norwegian lost his cool and shot the Swede dead. The ceasefire was broken and all out war resumed. Then, a general furious with the Norwegian took him to a bunker for interrogation.

The general asked "why did you do this?"

The soldier replied with
" That motherfucker said when the sun goes down he's gonna swim over here and fuck me till my eyes falls out"

Three childhood friends sign up for the army

And it's their first day, time for assignments.

The drill Sergeant asks the first one. "WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?"

"I like to go sailing!" he replied.

"OK, YOU ARE NOW IN CHARGE OF BOATS!"

The second friend stood up for his turn, and was asked the same question. "I like to fly..."

"OK YOU ARE NOW IN CHARGE OF OUR PLANES!"

The third friend came up and was once again asked what he liked to do. However, he had a stutter so all he could say was "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I"...

The drill sergeant looks at him and replies, "OK, YOU ARE NOW IN CHARGE OF THE MACHINE GUNS!"

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you and I’ll make it very fast. I’ll throw $1,000 dollars on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up I’ll be done."


She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend to ask for advice. The boyfriend says, "Ask him for $2,000, then just pick up the money real fast so he won’t have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

Half an hour later the boyfriend calls back and asks, "So what happened?”



The secretary responds, “The, ba ba-bastard, us-used, coins!!

mother and daughter action

A man in his 20's and a few of his friend were at a bar for drinks. A lady in her mid-late 40's sent him a drink, and introduced herself.

Never hit on by a cougar before, the guy in his 20s let her buy him a few more drinks throughout the night as he was enjoying her company. She made it clear that she thought they should go back to her place which was just around the corner.

At first the man was reluctant, but his friends kept encouraging him to do it. In a final attempt to lure him back, the lady offered him some mother daughter action if he would join her.

Excited, he relents and follows the lady's lead back to her house. Once they get home, she lights some candles, puts some sensual music on and starts passionately kissing him

Looking around for the daughter and not seeing anyone, the man asks "aren't you forgetting someone?"

The lady apologizes, and walks over to the stairs and yells up "hey mom I've got one!"