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How to handle being ugly

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Citadel

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May 25, 2003
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The entire human world cannot be beautiful, yet we know that only the beautiful are valued in the world. How can an ugly person (man here, but gender-neutral) hope to find happiness?

Those with a "get a big wallet" idea need not reply - that is hardly a revolutionary insight into the (esp female) mind.
 
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, always remember that.

I don't consider myself beautiful, parts of me are far from it actually. BUT, I have self-confidence, and that shows more about me than my looks. I love certain parts of me, and use those parts to my advantage. And if you can love yourself for who you are and the way you look, you will carry yourself in a much different way. A way people will notice.
 
Ha!

Don't ask me, All my life I've seen some of the ugliest fuckers in Texas with some of the damnest good looking, charming girlfriends or wives.

It's enough to make a person turn to drink!
 
You have to make yourself "beautiful" in other ways. You need to be interesting yourself and interested in other people. Be a caring individual, develop a good sense of humor and have impeccable hygiene. Develop a sense of style - clothing and grooming that make the most of what you've got.

Has always worked for me. :)

(But having a lot of money doesn't hurt. :D )
 
Citadel,
There is no such thing as a physically ugly person. There are however people that are ugly because of their personalities. Ugly isn't a physical thing, its a state of mind.

I've known super-model types that were drop dead beautiful and at the same time ugly people. And I've known some women that were by today's media standards, ugly on the outside, but thier personalities gave them a light which shined as bright as the sun.

My wife doesn't think she's pretty, and yet if she could only climb inside my head for a minute or two and see herself through my eyes she'd be surprised to find out just how beautiful she really is. How I love her, flaws and all.

Unless you're dealing with a physical deformity that is actually replusive, I wouldn't give it much thought. Unless you're nose and dick have been switched or you have three eyes or a hand growing out of the top of your head, its not really worth worrying about.

Go though life with your head held high and considerate of the feelings of your fellow humans and you'll do ok. And someday when you least expect it you'll look around and find you've found someone that looks at your "flaws" and considers them assets. Someone that has glimpsed the inner you and wants to know that person better.
 
fuck being beutiful im glad im not a hunk

listen to my wise words i have gained over my 21 years. who gives a flying fuck about your god damn appearence? even if you marry the worlds most beiutiful woman once you have both been married for 25 years and she is fifty she is an old woman with saggin breasts and a wrinkled, grey haired, loose pussy. its not gonna matter anymore. so marry the person with the inteligence and the great personality because when your fifty what you have inside is all you have left.

besides there is always the ugly duckling syndrome.

in the ugly duckling syndrome(UDS) a person, man or woman, who is born without average looks grows a great personality and charm as well as intelligence. if a person with UDS become great looking later in life they still have the personality of the aformentioned sub par looks. now you have personality, brains, and a body.

in other words.....fuck your narsassistic tendencies and read a goddamn book. and look at woman in paintings from the rennisance. thats how a woman shoudl look. nothing is a bigger turn off than seeing a womans rib cage through her tits.

snoochie bootchies

p.s. - if you are a 50 year old woman dont take offence to what ive said. i know not all of them are like that but alot of them are. look on the internet for mature porn and you will know what i am talking about.
 
Re: fuck being beutiful im glad im not a hunk

Originally posted by madmanmike
listen to my wise words i have gained over my 21 years. who gives a flying fuck about your god damn appearence? even if you marry the worlds most beiutiful woman once you have both been married for 25 years and she is fifty she is an old woman with saggin breasts and a wrinkled, grey haired, loose pussy.

p.s. - if you are a 50 year old woman dont take offence to what ive said. i know not all of them are like that but alot of them are. look on the internet for mature porn and you will know what i am talking about.
Click to expand...


Didn't take offence just your characterization of all older women is definitely wrong...and there are a number on Lit's am pic forum to prove it.

Having said that I agree with the sentiment that looks are only superficial and it's what's inside that matters...although I liked the way Bob put it much better.
 
Wow.

Okay, so here's the deal. My whole life, I was ugly. I was much thinner when I was younger, but I was ugly. How does that work? Because I truly believed I was ugly. I hated the way I looked because I listened to the stupid people who told me I looked bad.

I'm the heaviest I've ever been, right now. And I think I'm fucking gorgeous. I really do. And if other people disagree, who cares? They can go fuck themselves, for all I care.... self confidence is SELF-CONFIDENCE.. it is NOT others-dependent. It is not conditional on how 'the world' sees you. It comes from inside... from an appreciation of yourself, your gifts, talents, appearance, etc.

Ugly, by the way, is not a physical attribute. It's a personality attribute. And if you can avoid that personality attribute, you're good to go.
 
How can an ugly person (man here, but gender-neutral) hope to find happiness?
Click to expand...
Best advice I can think of is dont let on that you think you are a bit ugleh. Nothing is more obvious than someone who doesnt really like themselves, and people generally seem to feel that if you dont like yourself then why should anyone else (and lets face it, you know you better than anyone).

It took me a little while to realise that the vast majority of women who hate me are the ones I've dated. Which means that whilst one might look at me and think "pfft, hes no brad pitt", they are also quite receptive to finding out that I do actually have some other qualities which might even be worth letting me get to see them naked at some unspecified point in the future.

I guess in short, what I am trying to say is that if you spend your life wandering through work, bars and clubs thinking "I'm not talking to her, I'm far too ugly" then you are destined to spend your life alone. If you wander through that bar thinking "She looks nice, I'll wander up and say 'hello'" then, if nothing else, you'll get to meet a lot more people some of whom might let you touch them, fewer yet you might actually spend a lot more time with than you might at this stage think possible.
 
Re: fuck being beutiful im glad im not a hunk

madmanmike said:
listen to my wise words i have gained over my 21 years. who gives a flying fuck about your god damn appearence? even if you marry the worlds most beiutiful woman once you have both been married for 25 years and she is fifty she is an old woman with saggin breasts and a wrinkled, grey haired, loose pussy. its not gonna matter anymore. so marry the person with the inteligence and the great personality because when your fifty what you have inside is all you have left.
...

p.s. - if you are a 50 year old woman dont take offence to what ive said. i know not all of them are like that but alot of them are. look on the internet for mature porn and you will know what i am talking about.
Click to expand...

I am a 50-year-old woman, and I didn't take offense, but I had to laugh at that "wrinkled, grey-haired, loose pussy" thing. I'll have to ask Mr. B what he thinks.
 
vixenshe said:
Wow.

Okay, so here's the deal. My whole life, I was ugly. I was much thinner when I was younger, but I was ugly. How does that work? Because I truly believed I was ugly. I hated the way I looked because I listened to the stupid people who told me I looked bad.

I'm the heaviest I've ever been, right now. And I think I'm fucking gorgeous. I really do. And if other people disagree, who cares? They can go fuck themselves, for all I care.... self confidence is SELF-CONFIDENCE.. it is NOT others-dependent. It is not conditional on how 'the world' sees you. It comes from inside... from an appreciation of yourself, your gifts, talents, appearance, etc.

Ugly, by the way, is not a physical attribute. It's a personality attribute. And if you can avoid that personality attribute, you're good to go.
Click to expand...
I love you








Oh yeh....Them eyes are awful pretty too :D
 
Move to: (pick one)

Missouri- you might not be better looking but you will be smarter than most of the natives. Or perhaps North Dakota - so few people up there no one cares what someone looks like.

This was tongue in cheek of course...LOL

FF
 
vixenshe said:
Wow.

Okay, so here's the deal. My whole life, I was ugly. I was much thinner when I was younger, but I was ugly. How does that work? Because I truly believed I was ugly. I hated the way I looked because I listened to the stupid people who told me I looked bad.

I'm the heaviest I've ever been, right now. And I think I'm fucking gorgeous. I really do. And if other people disagree, who cares? They can go fuck themselves, for all I care.... self confidence is SELF-CONFIDENCE.. it is NOT others-dependent. It is not conditional on how 'the world' sees you. It comes from inside... from an appreciation of yourself, your gifts, talents, appearance, etc.

Ugly, by the way, is not a physical attribute. It's a personality attribute. And if you can avoid that personality attribute, you're good to go.
Click to expand...

I absolutely LOVE this post. :rose:

S.
 
All my life I never thought I was particularly attractive. So I married the first man who showed any interest in me. Big mistake. I stayed in that marriage for 23 years......I didn't have the self confidence to get out.

When I finally did leave.....2 months later I met a man online who was the first to tell me I was beautiful, and so I felt beautiful. I walked with my head up, I smiled more.....and people were looking. I had 3 male lovers in the two years before I found THE one :) Quite a change from the woman who thought she wouldn't ever experience the joy of a loving caring relationship.

I admit I'd like bigger boobs and a bit more ass......but I'm tall and with legs that go forever (and guys seem to like that ;) ). I have stretch marks from two pregnancies, and the poochy tummy some women get from childbirth. But my love thinks I am sexy and beautiful, and that's all I need :D
 
Citadel said:
The entire human world cannot be beautiful, yet we know that only the beautiful are valued in the world. How can an ugly person (man here, but gender-neutral) hope to find happiness?

Those with a "get a big wallet" idea need not reply - that is hardly a revolutionary insight into the (esp female) mind.
Click to expand...



I handle it by being online for many of the seven or eight hours a day that I'm awake, smoking pot, occasionally drinking, yanking my crank like there's no tomorrow, avoiding women in real life, avoiding bars, avoiding clubs, watching too much TV, listening to songs that depress me even more than being ugly, stroking my cock some more, cooking, staying in my house as much as possible, keeping my curtains drawn, going out to get the mail at 2 A.M. rather than going out in the sunlight where people might see me and laugh, sleeping for ten to fourteen hours a day, reading and writing a lot.


I've become a master at dealing with my ugliness. I truly have.
 
There is no such thing as an ugly person, only ugly people that are too blind to see the beauty in a person that isn't perfect.

I agree with what someone said earlier, some of the ugliest people that I've ever met are very beautiful or handsome on the outside. However, they wouldn't know inner beauty if it jumped up and bit them on the nose because they think be being beautiful is a physical attribute alone.

There is a partner for everyone in this world. Finding one that can recognize the wonderful person that lives within you is the goal. Don't waste your time dating people that are concerned with looks. Spend time with people that enjoy your company, and love may come to you. Love often happens when you least expect it.
 
It's All In The Confidence You Exude

Confidence makes a difference.

I am considered attractive by people around me, but guaranteed, if you were to throw me into a bar, looking my best, I would leave alone. Why? I don't have the confidence to go up to a stranger and introduce myself. I am shy and I am that person that thinks people are staring because I have toilet paper stuck to my shoe.

If you are not considered attractive by others, or yourself, but you have confidence in your ability to make friends and conversation, then you will attract people and pique their interest.

It's more than just looking good. Sure, you always want to look your best, but if you don't back that up with an attitude that is open to experiences and confident that you are worthy of the attention, then you might as well not bother. There are people out there that look beyond the skin, and they are more numerous than you think.

Hope that helps.

The Poodle
 
Bandit58 said:
All my life I never thought I was particularly attractive. I admit I'd like bigger boobs and a bit more ass......but I'm tall and with legs that go forever (and guys seem to like that ;) ). I have stretch marks from two pregnancies, and the poochy tummy some women get from childbirth. But my love thinks I am sexy and beautiful, and that's all I need :D
Click to expand...

<slightly snipped quote>

Bandit I love this post! You sound alot like me.

I've never been what anyone would call pretty. I have pale skin, reddish brown hair, freckles, dimples, and a" jewish" nose (somebody elses words not mine, but they're right!) My feet are fat, my fingers stubby, my legs, which used to be one of my decent features now boast a few spider veins from to may years of working on my feet. My eyes are an unremarkable brown, my lips not particularly sexy. For my entire life I've either been to fat or to thin and never quite had the " right" shape for my body frame. Childbirth gave me great boobs and a little bit of an ass, but it also gave me a poochy tummy that doesn't go away and stretch marks.
Am I ever going to win any beauty pagents? Probably not. Am I the sort of woman you see across a crowded nightclub and swoon over? Not by a long shot. Do I feel that way when those who love me look at me? Nope!:D

I have been really fortunate in that for the most part the people in my life, lovers especially have always found a way to make me feel like I was incredible. That boosted my confidence tremendously and helped me think, feel and act as if I were as hot as I could ever want to be.
Sure there are days I look at myself and think, " damn it'd be nice to drop a few pounds, or have gravity not work on my boobs." but then I catch my husband smiling at me as I bend over in the yard and I realize I don't need to change a thing.
 
Pablo Picasso never seemd to have any trouble pullin' chicks, and he was no Valentino.
 
I agree with everyone here. Ugly is a state of mind, so is being beautiful.

Based on my personal experience, just because you're alone, it doesn't mean that you are ugly. There are a lot of factors that contribute to the success of having a relationship and physical attributes is just a very small factor. Chemistry is very important and I don't believe that being a Ben Affleck will land you more women.

This weekend, I met my new friend for the first time after having spoken to him for weeks on the phone. He wasn't what I expected physically (pictures never do justice to anyone in my opinion anyway) but I thought he was gorgeous! When he smiled at me and we felt that connection, I could have stayed up talking to him the whole night. I enjoyed HIM, not because he was handsome, but what he contributed to our experience and how he made me feel. I'm not what he expected either, but when we locked eyes for the first time, it was awesome.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you in a roundabout way is that, if you don't have a relationship, it's not because you're ugly. You're just waiting around for the person that will see you, for YOU. The one who will *GET* you.

You have to accept yourself first and then others will follow. Don't deprive the rest of the world from enjoying the wonderful person that you are, only because you THINK you're ugly. Chances are, you're not. We are our worst critics.
 
Great advice in this thread. Accept yourself for who you are including looks, personality etc., someone will find you attractive because of the confidence you will display. Don't waste time on people concerned with only looks.
 
"Beauty is only skin-deep, but ugly is to the bone."


I've suffered from this line of thinking a lot in my life. Just ignore it and be yourself. People who only judge you on your looks aren't worth knowing.
 
I definitely agree with almost all of the posts here. Especially the points about "ugly" being all in your mind and self confidence being key.

I don't consider myself ugly, but i don't think i'm a knockout either. I guess i would describe myself as "cute." I've said in the past that if i were to change one thing about my looks, i would change my nose...the sicilian nose i got from my grandfather. Well, guess what feature i get the most compliments on from men (and women). Not my large breasts, not my long legs...my nose!! I guess i won't be getting any nose jobs.

Another example:
I have a friend who is a short little rotund man. His body isn't "ideal" and his face certainly isn't anything to write home about. He doesn't dress particularly well, he wears dorky glasses, and doesn't have a huge bank account. But i have to tell you, this guy is SEXY! Any woman who knows him will tell you that. Any guy who knows him knows that they can't take Tony to a bar with them b/c all the girls will ignore them and fall all over Tony. The reason why he is sexy is because he is just dripping with self confidence. Not egotistical, just self confident. He's as bold as hell when he flirts with women and it works, because he knows his strong points. He's smart and funny, and he uses that to his advantage.
 
Re: Re: How to handle being ugly

Bigg_Capone said:
I handle it by being online for many of the seven or eight hours a day that I'm awake, smoking pot, occasionally drinking, yanking my crank like there's no tomorrow, avoiding women in real life, avoiding bars, avoiding clubs, watching too much TV, listening to songs that depress me even more than being ugly, stroking my cock some more, cooking, staying in my house as much as possible, keeping my curtains drawn, going out to get the mail at 2 A.M. rather than going out in the sunlight where people might see me and laugh, sleeping for ten to fourteen hours a day, reading and writing a lot.


I've become a master at dealing with my ugliness. I truly have.
Click to expand...


I can only hope this is sarcasm.


If it isn't? Whilst you are hiding from the world you may be missing out on someone who is going to like you just for you.

There are people out there who have had horrific car crashes
or been in terrible fires who are scarred for life. Yet many find people who truly love them for who they are.

Attitude is a big deal in life.
 
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