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Sexless Marriages

Been here, done this, got tired of begging him..... rather be alone with my expectations
 
After all this time, I still have trouble understanding why this is such a common problem. I also live with this, and have tried to remedy it in every way possible.

Are we not a monogamous species after all?
 
Nothing tired or begging here, just my wife's health, just the way it is, naturally I still want to share desire and pleasure.
 
Hipshot1554 said:
After all this time, I still have trouble understanding why this is such a common problem. I also live with this, and have tried to remedy it in every way possible.

Are we not a monogamous species after all?
Click to expand...

Only by social/moral/religious constraints....
 
Hockeydude1985 said:
Well, I was finally allowed to have sex last week. I thought she actually wanted it after 8 months but I found out she just felt bad so she gave in. Kind of almost wish it wouldn't have happened then.

I'm just tired of things. There will be a couple days where she will slip my tongue when she leaves before work and want to cuddle at night. Then the next week it's disgusting to her. It's a WTF situation.....
Click to expand...

been there - still there - i have just given up trying.... those days when I think something might happen have turned to way too many disappointments over the years. I have chosen to stop trying so I don't get let down in the end... always ready to shift gears if and when she gets back into the swing of things though.

Thing is that outside of the intimacy we are great together...best friends share everything and do almost everything together.
 
Giving you the best that I have

Sometimes, even after giving you the best that I got, I still feel irrelevant to you.
 
MsLead said:
Been here, done this, got tired of begging him..... rather be alone with my expectations
Click to expand...

it is always a two way street if he refuse to do more for you than I know you can do and find plenty of guys that will give you plenty of attention, by the way if you do decide to me try New York there-is plenty of action young and older if you are truly serious and by the way I lover taboo freaky naughty nasty kinky sex/true
 
ChattyMikey said:
Nothing tired or begging here, just my wife's health, just the way it is, naturally I still want to share desire and pleasure.
Click to expand...
no disrespect to you and your wife, if your wife can preformed because of her health how about asking your wife can you bring another person into the relationship and she can watch you both and get turn on herself! what do you think?/truth
 
ACLeBoeu said:
hahaha, he would be confused and annoyed that I woke him up ;) He always gives me a kiss goodnight though, so I guess I can't complain.

I break out the lingerie whenever I think I've got a shot, but usually in the evenings he's too stressed or tired/busy.

I'm thinking of forcing him to take a vacation, then just handcuffing him to the hotel bed and having my way :devil: who would convict me? :kiss:
Click to expand...
try running a bubble bath and have him soak in the tub for 30 minutes when he comes out of the tub he will have plenty of energy and will want you more and more, trust me it works/true
 
Sexless is not necessarily the end

i just found this thread and thought I may have something to contribute.

My wife and I have been married for 25 years. She got an emergency Hysterectomy 18 years ago and sex dwindled down - over time - to maybe once or twice a year. One day i woke up and realized it had been 2 years. :(

She had bad hot flashes. No Drive at all. Bone dry pussy. Bad sleep. I realize now, I just gave up. Everything else in our marriage is/was excellent. Maybe this is normal I reasoned.

Early last year, she found this thing called Biote. This thing is a group of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) pellets implanted by her OBGYN in her butt cheek.

Within a week, Hot flashes stopped and we were back to 4x a week! Now, I was so out of practice that I could not keep up.

Wound up on Cialis, endured 12 weeks of sonic plaque busting on my penis and perineum (at the Atlanta men's heath center) and my own Biote HRT to counteract low T implanted in me by her (and now my (yuk yuk)) OBGYN.

So - now I am back to chasing her around the house. Alas - now I am back 'up' to full speed but things have started to drop off drive wise a bit on her end. AUGH!

One other thing has changed - we have started talking very graphically, clinically about all things sex. This is new for us. Previously it just was something we did and did not talk about.

We have agreed to work together to avoid falling back into the sexless trap. We bought toys for each other and have started to watch one another masturbate. The key for us at least - is we now talk about everything. Fantasies, kinks, massage table hand jobs etc. It's not always easy - but its worth it. I am slowly working us both up to even visit a sex club.

For me - i am - inseparably - with the love of my life and my best friend. getting through this problem - which - frankly - i had actually given up on - is - i think - the key to a door into tremendous new experiences.

the sexless decade showed us both the clear division between sex and love. Sex can be both for fun and for love - but our love for one another and the strength of our relationship transcends all things sexual.

I think maybe we can eventually evolve to get into threesomes or other situation(s) that would have been unimaginable for either of us just a few years ago.

So - to sum up, I'm 53, she is 60. I think that the root of the sexless period was a precipitous drop in hormone levels for her after the H, coupled with a sympathetic drop in my own T levels due to age.

I hope this long winded share is helpful to someone. I wish I had found this site 10 years ago. :)
 
Hockeydude1985 said:
Well, I was finally allowed to have sex last week. I thought she actually wanted it after 8 months but I found out she just felt bad so she gave in. Kind of almost wish it wouldn't have happened then.

I'm just tired of things. There will be a couple days where she will slip my tongue when she leaves before work and want to cuddle at night. Then the next week it's disgusting to her. It's a WTF situation.....
Click to expand...

Enjoy it as much as possibl, and congrats!
 
DADDYLOVER3 said:
can you tell me why you feel that way/truth
Click to expand...

I am not down or depressed. I am a little frustrated at the relationship I have. Always having to put up a front for everyone’s sake; every once in a while, it gets to me, that’s all. I do have sex with my wife, but, I wish we were a little more adventurous. Pasta is great but at some point you want some variety.

That’s all,

V.
 
mcato said:
i just found this thread and thought I may have something to contribute.

My wife and I have been married for 25 years. She got an emergency Hysterectomy 18 years ago and sex dwindled down - over time - to maybe once or twice a year. One day i woke up and realized it had been 2 years. :(

She had bad hot flashes. No Drive at all. Bone dry pussy. Bad sleep. I realize now, I just gave up. Everything else in our marriage is/was excellent. Maybe this is normal I reasoned.

Early last year, she found this thing called Biote. This thing is a group of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) pellets implanted by her OBGYN in her butt cheek.

Within a week, Hot flashes stopped and we were back to 4x a week! Now, I was so out of practice that I could not keep up.

Wound up on Cialis, endured 12 weeks of sonic plaque busting on my penis and perineum (at the Atlanta men's heath center) and my own Biote HRT to counteract low T implanted in me by her (and now my (yuk yuk)) OBGYN.

So - now I am back to chasing her around the house. Alas - now I am back 'up' to full speed but things have started to drop off drive wise a bit on her end. AUGH!

One other thing has changed - we have started talking very graphically, clinically about all things sex. This is new for us. Previously it just was something we did and did not talk about.

We have agreed to work together to avoid falling back into the sexless trap. We bought toys for each other and have started to watch one another masturbate. The key for us at least - is we now talk about everything. Fantasies, kinks, massage table hand jobs etc. It's not always easy - but its worth it. I am slowly working us both up to even visit a sex club.

For me - i am - inseparably - with the love of my life and my best friend. getting through this problem - which - frankly - i had actually given up on - is - i think - the key to a door into tremendous new experiences.

the sexless decade showed us both the clear division between sex and love. Sex can be both for fun and for love - but our love for one another and the strength of our relationship transcends all things sexual.

I think maybe we can eventually evolve to get into threesomes or other situation(s) that would have been unimaginable for either of us just a few years ago.

So - to sum up, I'm 53, she is 60. I think that the root of the sexless period was a precipitous drop in hormone levels for her after the H, coupled with a sympathetic drop in my own T levels due to age.

I hope this long winded share is helpful to someone. I wish I had found this site 10 years ago. :)
Click to expand...
What a great perspective, I am happy for you for two reasons. 1, you seem to have the right person to share your life. 2, you found a medical explanation for your issues.

V.
 
mcato said:
i just found this thread and thought I may have something to contribute.

My wife and I have been married for 25 years. She got an emergency Hysterectomy 18 years ago and sex dwindled down - over time - to maybe once or twice a year. One day i woke up and realized it had been 2 years. :(

She had bad hot flashes. No Drive at all. Bone dry pussy. Bad sleep. I realize now, I just gave up. Everything else in our marriage is/was excellent. Maybe this is normal I reasoned.

Early last year, she found this thing called Biote. This thing is a group of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) pellets implanted by her OBGYN in her butt cheek.

Within a week, Hot flashes stopped and we were back to 4x a week! Now, I was so out of practice that I could not keep up.

Wound up on Cialis, endured 12 weeks of sonic plaque busting on my penis and perineum (at the Atlanta men's heath center) and my own Biote HRT to counteract low T implanted in me by her (and now my (yuk yuk)) OBGYN.

So - now I am back to chasing her around the house. Alas - now I am back 'up' to full speed but things have started to drop off drive wise a bit on her end. AUGH!

One other thing has changed - we have started talking very graphically, clinically about all things sex. This is new for us. Previously it just was something we did and did not talk about.

We have agreed to work together to avoid falling back into the sexless trap. We bought toys for each other and have started to watch one another masturbate. The key for us at least - is we now talk about everything. Fantasies, kinks, massage table hand jobs etc. It's not always easy - but its worth it. I am slowly working us both up to even visit a sex club.

For me - i am - inseparably - with the love of my life and my best friend. getting through this problem - which - frankly - i had actually given up on - is - i think - the key to a door into tremendous new experiences.

the sexless decade showed us both the clear division between sex and love. Sex can be both for fun and for love - but our love for one another and the strength of our relationship transcends all things sexual.

I think maybe we can eventually evolve to get into threesomes or other situation(s) that would have been unimaginable for either of us just a few years ago.

So - to sum up, I'm 53, she is 60. I think that the root of the sexless period was a precipitous drop in hormone levels for her after the H, coupled with a sympathetic drop in my own T levels due to age.

I hope this long winded share is helpful to someone. I wish I had found this site 10 years ago. :)
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for your post -- your experience seems to be a mirror of our own (including the 7 year age difference -- I'm younger she's older). She's been talking about speaking with her gyno about the so-called "female Viagra." But what your wife had done seems to have worked big time for her (and you!). Will have to look into it.

Keep us posted here or on another thread -- I'm especially interested on if/when you graduate to threesomes and/or sex club activities!

Thanks again.
 
mcato said:
i just found this thread and thought I may have something to contribute.

My wife and I have been married for 25 years. She got an emergency Hysterectomy 18 years ago and sex dwindled down - over time - to maybe once or twice a year. One day i woke up and realized it had been 2 years. :(

She had bad hot flashes. No Drive at all. Bone dry pussy. Bad sleep. I realize now, I just gave up. Everything else in our marriage is/was excellent. Maybe this is normal I reasoned.

Early last year, she found this thing called Biote. This thing is a group of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) pellets implanted by her OBGYN in her butt cheek.

Within a week, Hot flashes stopped and we were back to 4x a week! Now, I was so out of practice that I could not keep up.

Wound up on Cialis, endured 12 weeks of sonic plaque busting on my penis and perineum (at the Atlanta men's heath center) and my own Biote HRT to counteract low T implanted in me by her (and now my (yuk yuk)) OBGYN.

So - now I am back to chasing her around the house. Alas - now I am back 'up' to full speed but things have started to drop off drive wise a bit on her end. AUGH!

One other thing has changed - we have started talking very graphically, clinically about all things sex. This is new for us. Previously it just was something we did and did not talk about.

We have agreed to work together to avoid falling back into the sexless trap. We bought toys for each other and have started to watch one another masturbate. The key for us at least - is we now talk about everything. Fantasies, kinks, massage table hand jobs etc. It's not always easy - but its worth it. I am slowly working us both up to even visit a sex club.

For me - i am - inseparably - with the love of my life and my best friend. getting through this problem - which - frankly - i had actually given up on - is - i think - the key to a door into tremendous new experiences.

the sexless decade showed us both the clear division between sex and love. Sex can be both for fun and for love - but our love for one another and the strength of our relationship transcends all things sexual.

I think maybe we can eventually evolve to get into threesomes or other situation(s) that would have been unimaginable for either of us just a few years ago.

So - to sum up, I'm 53, she is 60. I think that the root of the sexless period was a precipitous drop in hormone levels for her after the H, coupled with a sympathetic drop in my own T levels due to age.

I hope this long winded share is helpful to someone. I wish I had found this site 10 years ago. :)
Click to expand...

Thank you for sharing your experiences! You touch on several key issues - communication and the difference between love and sex. Getting over the break-down of talking about sex is one of the greatest challenges...

Hope you continue to keep up and explore together!
 
Lost_Yonder said:
Thank you for sharing your experiences! You touch on several key issues - communication and the difference between love and sex. Getting over the break-down of talking about sex is one of the greatest challenges...

Hope you continue to keep up and explore together!
Click to expand...
what naughty questions you have for me/dare
 
Vitriolhack said:
I am not down or depressed. I am a little frustrated at the relationship I have. Always having to put up a front for everyone’s sake; every once in a while, it gets to me, that’s all. I do have sex with my wife, but, I wish we were a little more adventurous. Pasta is great but at some point you want some variety.

That’s all,

V.
Click to expand...
do you have any questions for me/dare
 
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