It sucks to be me.

I don't want this to be a competition for who has it worse. I just want this to be a complain and bitch thread...

the competition that comes is in that i'm making another thread called "it does not suck to be me." . Both of these threads are being created at the same time. Let's see which thread winds up bigger... The positive or the negative. Are we complainers or thankers?

I pray you do not fill this thread with too much off topic conversation, as that skews the results.


Comeplain away!

kicking this one off...
60 gig ipod walked off my friends table the other night. No one can find it. Warentee dosen't cover lost goods and there's no one to blame it on.
My dog of 14+ years passed away and i found out the other night when i stopped by my house to pick some stuff up and inquired where she was. My mom did mind talling em my dad died while i was driving home in torrential rain at 5am, but to bother to tell me my dog is dead, oh no, she had to wait for come home a week later... guh.
I think i fucked up my class schedule and i might have to stay here for another semester. I'm already a fifth year senior (Transferred, changed majors, picked up a minor)

Just had peridontal planing. Have almost blown through the 1 grand yearly dental insurance payout in 3 visits. Insure my ass!

This is a great idea.

I'm tired. And there's still so much to do. *sigh*

even though im in an amazing relationship.... i dont get to see him more then approx. once a month! i hate being so far away from him, especially when everyone around me is in a couple. i miss him more then i can say. i love my Sir, he means the world to me, and being so far away from him is making me miserable. i havnt seen him in three weeks, and i have to wait another three before ill be with him again.

...and what i wouldn't give for a good spanking!

I can't believe I have to get up and go pee.

*grr*

This sucks!

You know what else sucks? The kid over here last night said he had strep!!! But he also said he wasn't contagious anymore cause he'd been on meds 16 HOURS. WTF??? Of course he only said this as he was LEAVING!

And I have a butt load of work to do before leaving on a trip, I hate trip prep.

I can't really sleep. Even when I do sleep it's not restful. It's been that way for a while now, months. I think it might be started to get better.

I could think of more but I have to get up and pee now, did I mention that?

Fury

Ok....

The plaything Ive been stalking keeps making dates then making excuses to break them.

My youngest son has behaviour issues relating to Aspergers which Im having a hard time dealing with lately.

My housemates, who have become my closest friends over the 12 months we've lived together, are moving out.

Im sick to fracking death of sleeping alone and having no one to cuddle when the going gets rough or Im feeling down.

I had a heart attack and quad bypass surgery.

My chest has a God-awful scar that looks like it's 3 feet long in the mirror. The tape measure says it's only 8 inches long. The tape measure is a lying summonabeach. And then there are 3 smaller scars where the drain tubes were.

My chest hurts. I can't lift more than 8 pounds. My BACK hurts all the time now because I really can't sit up straight with my shoulders back. I have a constant slightly forward hunch.

I'm still retaining fluid, I'm swollen and puffy.

My left leg, where they harvested veins for the bypass, is swollen and I think they clipped a nerve because it alternates between being numb and then giving me a shooting/burning pain when I switch from lying down to sitting up.

I'm having trouble sleeping. Even with the drugs, because of the pain spasms in my leg.

Such a frigging redneck town I live in >_< we barely qualify as having a GLBT community, and we have eighty thousand people!

...........

Hmm bad stuff huh?

My mother is tyring to get me to go to counciling with her so she can corner me into talking to her about her selfesh and unresonable issues with my desision to allow my aunt and uncle to adopt my daughter (long story dont ask enless you really really wana know)

My younger sister who i shared a room with the first 17 years of my life has disowned me becuase of the above with my mother and also cuase she found out about my life style... of couse she dosn't understand it either so that dosn't help...

My mother's family all want me to go into the Navy becuase they think it'd be the best thing for me, but i dont want to....

I just moved to South Cali, where i dont know more then 5-6 people (this includeing my master, my two room mates, and the two guys i met earlyer in the year when i was down here) in order to be with my master, and although i'm happy about finally being with him 24/7 it just sucks that i dont know anyone! Ontop of the not knowing anyone, my two best friends back up in Oregon have just broken up and although one has moved on and found happiness (proud of her i am) the other is apperently turning to the darkside... shes spreadig rumors and being a bitch, i love her dearly but that behavoir is completely beneath her...

ugh... stopping now before i rant to much *sigh* oh well... maybe i'll go try and write in the 'good stuff' one see if i cant get into a better mood

I have been taking medication every day since I was 12 years old. For the past 8 years, I've been taking multiple meds every day. For the past 4+ years, it's been a handful a day. My life is better for it - I've tried going without and it's a living hell - but I really wish I could look forward to a day without meds.

When I'm low I feel a paralyzing self hatred and disgust. When I'm high I feel an outrage towards everyone I deal with. I guess I prefer my anger to be turned outwards than inwards, but it'd be nice to need neither.

The only constant is anger.

i miss my family. sometimes i wish i didn't move 3500 kms away so i could find work. *sigh*

As good as I am at so many things baking, using computers other useless shit that doesn't take any knowledge to do, I can't pass a fucking drivers test and the fact that I can't hurts me so much that I get anxious and I can't sleep.

Sometimes I can't do shit all and it makes me feel even worse to know I can't do something even after trying 3 goddamn times.

I got into a car accident this morning on the way to work. I'm fine, but my car is decidedly not fine. It might be totaled, but it's going to be 24-48 hrs before I even find out if I can take it for repairs. I guess I have to rent a car to get to work tomorrow. It's going to be very expensive to get it fixed, and I might have to buy a new one altogether. I'm sitting in the hot sun on the front porch of the impound lot's main office, because they are smoking inside. I seem to have gotten over the crying for now, but I just know that when my wife gets here I'm going to cry some more. This is a really shitty way to start the day and/or week.

Etoile said:

I got into a car accident this morning on the way to work. I'm fine, but my car is decidedly not fine. It might be totaled, but it's going to be 24-48 hrs before I even find out if I can take it for repairs. I guess I have to rent a car to get to work tomorrow. It's going to be very expensive to get it fixed, and I might have to buy a new one altogether. I'm sitting in the hot sun on the front porch of the impound lot's main office, because they are smoking inside. I seem to have gotten over the crying for now, but I just know that when my wife gets here I'm going to cry some more. This is a really shitty way to start the day and/or week.

Click to expand...

That's dreadful! Sorry to hear it.

Okay, it sucks to be me because I frustrate the heck out of my Dom with my trust issues, and thus ruin his birthday.

I still can't drive. Because I can't drive, I was not able to get anything for janey's birthday present. I feel terrible, I could only give her a hand made card with an IOU for her birthday.

That sucks, even if she says my being alive just to celebrate her birthday was the best present I could give her.

I JUST moved, and now I have to move again.

I moved into my new house on a Sunday, they fucking landlord put the house up for sale that Monday! It SOLD Tuesday, and I got a 30-day notice on Wednesday >< Of course I was so on top of things everything was unpacked by Monday night. So now I'm moving again this weekend, and I have to RE PACK everything and trick my friends into helping me move for the second time in a month.

It sucks to be me today because my high at the end of last week turned into a self destruction trip over the weekend (spending, drinking, drugs, chronic insomnia) and I spent all day yesterday bawling like a baby for no reason.

Plus Im also now Dom-less....although He remains a very close friend.

It sucks to be me because...

Friday I had to travel to Elizabethtown, North Carolina, for a memorial for a long-time friend and mentor. Within the BDSM community he was known as LordScorpion.

To me he was Ron.

He lost his battle against liver cancer September 16th, and Friday, his friends and family gathered together to pay tribute to the man he had become. People came from as far away as New Jersey and Alabama to honor this man who was strong of faith, tough as nails, and wise beyond words. People from the BDSM/Leather community, from his church, from NA, and his family rubbed shoulders and honored him with their memories.

I didn't get to speak at the service, there wasn't enough time. We'd still be there sharing memories if they would have let us. So I'll share a few of my memories with y'all here.

I first met Ron when my circle of friends and his circle of friends began to intermingle in late 98/early 99. He was an irrascible summonabeach, irritating as all hell. He was flint, I was steel, and yes, you guessed it, when we got together, sparks often flew.

But through confrontation came understanding. Through understanding, came respect. From respect, friendship grew. He was a man of integrity, he spoke the truth as he saw it, he didn't pull any punches or sugar coat anything. When you were fucking up he told you so, and did it in no uncertain terms. And when you were right, he would go to the wall with you and then some.

He was a man of character, and he was a character! He was funny, omg he could make me laugh! And I always knew where I stood with him. He believed in me when no one else did. Not even me.

I miss him.

Hubby just won't set up an appointment to go see a cardiologist (He's got a congenital heart defect and has had 4 open heart surgurys.) I can't set up the appointment, thank you HIPPA crap.

Worry about money, is there enough. Have things budgeted tightly, damn near neurotically because if I don't it won't get done.

And I'm awake far too early for a 12 hr shift that I have to work today with an ambulance crew that may not even be civil. Joys.

I have too much studying to do in too little time. This morning I had the first rather major nervousness attack. The exam is still 4 1/2 weeks away.

I just went to visit my Sir for the first time in 5 weeks. i was there for barely over a day, and he was sick almost the entire time! he either slept or was in no mood to do anything the whole time, and i got to feel horribly guilty for being horny (i get that way when im with him). now i dont get to see him again till thanksgiving