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Distance Domination-Support Thread

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minx1 said:
Hey Bandit :rose:

well to be perfectly honest I think things have changed...certainly for me and also for my Master too.
When I started out with him last September, it was really my first exploration into being a sub. Sexually I knew that I was submissive, but I wanted to see how far I wanted to take it into other areas of my life. Having said that at that time I only envisaged an online relationship initially, whilst I learnt how much further, if at all, I wanted to go.
I think it was the same for my Master too.
Though I have to say things have changed dramatically really. I think we have both been surprised at the bond that has developed between us and the depth and intensity of feelings that we share.
Suddenly the distance and the online nature becomes too restrictive. I mean its not a problem as such, its just that the natural progression of our relationship is the need and desire to meet and be together.
So yes, we are talking of meeting (*laugh* slight understatement...we talk of it all the time!) I am in the UK, he is in Perth Australia. I cannot wait to meet him and I guess that we will take it from there.
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Hi minx :) Yes I do remember how frustrating the waiting to meet can be! Master Gil and I are in Sydney Australia, I am originally from New Zealand. It's around a 3 1/2 hour flight between our two countries, and the trip to meet Him was my first out of NZ and also my first flight :eek:

Since then I have become a seasoned traveller. I've flown back to NZ twice for family reasons, and also flown up and down that country to visit my kids who live in the North Island and my mum and brother in the South.

I was a new sub when I met Master. We did not do much "play" online, because He prefers "hands on" :) We did do a little bit over the phone, for me to get a feel for being dominated....lol being naturally submissive anyway after that I could not wait to experience the real thing!

Which of you will be doing the visiting? UK to Australia is a very long trip! :rose:
 
Bandit58 said:
Hi minx :) Yes I do remember how frustrating the waiting to meet can be! Master Gil and I are in Sydney Australia, I am originally from New Zealand. It's around a 3 1/2 hour flight between our two countries, and the trip to meet Him was my first out of NZ and also my first flight :eek:

Since then I have become a seasoned traveller. I've flown back to NZ twice for family reasons, and also flown up and down that country to visit my kids who live in the North Island and my mum and brother in the South.

I was a new sub when I met Master. We did not do much "play" online, because He prefers "hands on" :) We did do a little bit over the phone, for me to get a feel for being dominated....lol being naturally submissive anyway after that I could not wait to experience the real thing!

Which of you will be doing the visiting? UK to Australia is a very long trip! :rose:
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*laugh* You're not wrong Bandit, its a very long way...particularly when you hate flying like me!
But my fear of flying (or rather crashing) is out weighed by my desire to be with him.
I think I will go there first, perhaps around late summer time....though this has yet to be agreed. At that pont we will have known eachother for almost a year....if we can wait that long lol!

and 'hands on' certainly has a huge appeal!! We'll almost be neighbours :rose:
 
Bandit58 said:
I know that rose and captain's wench have plans to eventually move in with their online Doms, but what about the rest of you? Is your relationship going to remain online (perhaps with no plans to meet in r/l) or does one or both of you plan to relocate?

Just curious, as I have posted before in this thread how I cannot understand the appeal of a strictly online BDSM relationship.

Master Gil and I were in an online relationship for about 6 months before I relocated to live with Him, and we married almost 3 years later. However we were friends here on Lit before that 6 month "courtship" so altogether I knew Him online for between a year and 18 months before I moved. Once the relationship progressed beyond friendship, we made plans to meet - neither of us could keep the relationship going if there wasn't going to be r/l interaction.
Click to expand...


A only lives ten minutes away from me. we are very much in a RL relationship. i just go to school in upstate ny, and him in maryland. since our breaks dont often coincide, we see each other for summer, winter, and any time one of use can sneak away and visit which isnt often.
 
Master and I relationship will someday come to RL...right now it can't but we maintain our togetherness as much as we can through the net and on the phone..It is hard yes but we do it..I long to feel his spanking me with the crop and paddle by his own hand but for now I do it for him.....

Glad that you and Master Gil are together Bandit..That is wonderful.

I am happy for anyone that can be with their Master and I know my day will come sometime soon itself....
 
minx1 said:
Thanks DW, hope you have a great day.....well as good a time as you can at work! :rose:
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Well home for lunch and got to spend a couple minutes with master before he had to go to wokr.....

Hope your day is good..Back to work for me in a few...
 
DomWharfsBitch said:
Master and I relationship will someday come to RL...right now it can't but we maintain our togetherness as much as we can through the net and on the phone..It is hard yes but we do it..I long to feel his spanking me with the crop and paddle by his own hand but for now I do it for him.....

Glad that you and Master Gil are together Bandit..That is wonderful.

I am happy for anyone that can be with their Master and I know my day will come sometime soon itself....
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*hugs* me and you both DW...... I also long to feel his touch.

We more than make do at the moment...I love our times together, but sometimes the need to be with him in rl is such a powerful pull I can hardly stand it! lol

I'm glad that someday you and he will be together hon :rose:
 
I'd just like to know... What does moving to USA require? Does it require some special permission? And how do i get it?
 
Little_Kitten said:
I'd just like to know... What does moving to USA require? Does it require some special permission? And how do i get it?
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Hey Kitten, fraid I don't know...but I'm guessing you need something like a green card if you want to stay for any length of time and work. I imagine you can go and visit for a couple of months..

Hopefully someone from the US will be on soon :)
 
Bandit58 said:
I know that rose and captain's wench have plans to eventually move in with their online Doms, but what about the rest of you? Is your relationship going to remain online (perhaps with no plans to meet in r/l) or does one or both of you plan to relocate?

Just curious, as I have posted before in this thread how I cannot understand the appeal of a strictly online BDSM relationship.

Master Gil and I were in an online relationship for about 6 months before I relocated to live with Him, and we married almost 3 years later. However we were friends here on Lit before that 6 month "courtship" so altogether I knew Him online for between a year and 18 months before I moved. Once the relationship progressed beyond friendship, we made plans to meet - neither of us could keep the relationship going if there wasn't going to be r/l interaction.
Click to expand...

In my case, I have no intention of taking it into RL. That would make me feel like I were letting down my husband, endangering our marriage, was a different sort of person that I want to be or could live with, and possibly that I was tearing apart my family.

The appeal is to get as close to D/s with my husband's ok, as I comfortably, can and not burn my current life down around me because of it.

I do have other options like playing with various Tops at my local BDSM group or seeing my online Dom in person now and then. The thing is that I'm not comfortable with the first as I'm not an exhibitionist and the second well, I'm not sure I could have a meeting and then just go home again. I'm not sure I'd want to, you know?

Fury :rose:
 
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FurryFury said:
In my case, I have no intention of taking it into RL. That would make me feel like I were letting down my husband, endangering our marriage, was a different sort of person that I want to be or could live with, and possibly that I was tearing apart my family.

The appeal it to get as close to D/s with my husband's ok, as I comfortably, can and not burn my current life down around me because of it.

I do have other options like playing with various Tops at my local BDSM group or seeing my online Dom in person now and then. The thing is that I'm not comfortable with the first as I'm not an exhibitionist and the second well, I'm not sure I could have a meeting and then just go home again. I'm not sure I'd want to, you know?

Fury :rose:
Click to expand...

i honestly don't know how you do it, and i don't say that to belittle or put you down in any way. i'm serious. it all just became too much for Master and i and 'online' wasn't enough anymore. the need for 'real life' experience never gets to you? i mean i guess obviously you have some deep bond for your Dom. how do you balance and LDR and a husband? i admire that you do and i am glad it all works out for you..but i wonder what would happen if the need to have that real life experiences became too much.....then what?? i do hope you know i am seriously curious and i'm not asking to make your situation any less than anyone else's, i'm truly curious and they are questions i've had for you for a while but didn't want to sound like i was being mean for asking LOL.... :rose:
 
lil_slave_rose said:
i honestly don't know how you do it, and i don't say that to belittle or put you down in any way. i'm serious. it all just became too much for Master and i and 'online' wasn't enough anymore. the need for 'real life' experience never gets to you? i mean i guess obviously you have some deep bond for your Dom. how do you balance and LDR and a husband? i admire that you do and i am glad it all works out for you..but i wonder what would happen if the need to have that real life experiences became too much.....then what?? i do hope you know i am seriously curious and i'm not asking to make your situation any less than anyone else's, i'm truly curious and they are questions i've had for you for a while but didn't want to sound like i was being mean for asking LOL.... :rose:
Click to expand...

If you were to read over my posts you'd see that I sometimes have these sub frenzy type things. Or other times, I have a hate on for myself because of my choices, and they are my choices, that hold me back.

The thing is, I don't really feel like I have a choice emotionally. I can't do anything else really. I mean if my husband told me to stop I would, I'd have to, but it would be so hard.

I won't or can't conceive of leaving my wonderful husband or kids. So I do what I can do with his blessing.

I am lucky to have an online Dom who is a wonderful fit for me and vice versa. His life also doesn't lend itself to RL at this time. I want that for him though because he deserves to have it all. Even if that means we can't remain together. Yes, we do have a deep bond.

Yes, I'd like more and RL. It just isn't possible for me at this time. I don't see that changing anytime soon if ever.

Fury :rose:
 
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FurryFury said:
If you were to read over my posts you'd see that I sometimes have these sub frenzy type things. Or other times I have a hate on for myself because of my choices and they are my choices that hold me back.

The thing is, I don't really feel like I have a choice emotionally. I can't do anything else really. I mean if my husband told me to stop I would, I'd have to but it would be so hard.

I won't or can't conceive of leaving my wonderful husband or kids. So I do what I can do with his blessing.

I am lucky to have an online Dom who is a wonderful fit for me and vice versa. His life also doesn't lend itself to RL at this time. I want that for him though because he deserves to have it all. Even if that means we can't remain together. Yes, we do have a deep bond.

Yes, I'd like more and RL. It just isn't possible for me at this time and I don't see that changing anytime soon if ever.

Fury :rose:
Click to expand...

wow

your stronger then i think i could be. i crave the RL side of it. mabye its becuase our realationship began together and we get seperated based on a school calender, but i cant concieve of never being held or touched or loved by A again
 
FurryFury said:
If you were to read over my posts you'd see that I sometimes have these sub frenzy type things. Or other times I have a hate on for myself because of my choices and they are my choices that hold me back.

The thing is, I don't really feel like I have a choice emotionally. I can't do anything else really. I mean if my husband told me to stop I would, I'd have to but it would be so hard.

I won't or can't conceive of leaving my wonderful husband or kids. So I do what I can do with his blessing.

I am lucky to have an online Dom who is a wonderful fit for me and vice versa. His life also doesn't lend itself to RL at this time. I want that for him though because he deserves to have it all. Even if that means we can't remain together. Yes, we do have a deep bond.

Yes, I'd like more and RL. It just isn't possible for me at this time and I don't see that changing anytime soon if ever.

Fury :rose:
Click to expand...

Fury that is the most wonderfully unselfish post I have ever read :rose:

It has also made me reconsider my attitude in some ways towards the strictly online relationship - at least you are having some outlet for your BDSM desires and you are very lucky to have an understanding husband.

I'm not an exhibitionist either but I have played with another Dom at a play party (my first caning :eek: ) and also once when we went to visit a Master/slave couple we know. Believe me you do forget there are other people watching! At the party I went very deep into sub space - even after the scene I was in a kind of floaty state until we got home a couple of hours later :) It did make a difference that Master Gil was there though, I am not sure I could do it if He wasn't there :eek:
 
minx1 said:
*hugs* me and you both DW...... I also long to feel his touch.

We more than make do at the moment...I love our times together, but sometimes the need to be with him in rl is such a powerful pull I can hardly stand it! lol

I'm glad that someday you and he will be together hon :rose:
Click to expand...


Longing is so hard too..I want to feel his touch so bad that it hurts some days, you know?

I am with you about loving your time together with your Master..As I do with mine...I to sometimes need to be with him in RL....

Thank you sweetie for the sentiment..I appreciate that..:rose: I too hope that you and your Master can be together soon
 
myinnerslut said:
wow

your stronger then i think i could be. i crave the RL side of it. mabye its becuase our realationship began together and we get seperated based on a school calender, but i cant concieve of never being held or touched or loved by A again
Click to expand...

I don't know that I'm all that strong but simply pragmatic. I crave the RL too, as I said. There are times I hate myself for "feeding" the conflict I feel.

If I'd been with my Dom in RL and it worked for us, I'm absolutely certain I'd have a nearly impossible time with being distant after that.

I love being thought of as strong though. Thank you. :kiss:

Fury :rose:
 
Bandit58 said:
Fury that is the most wonderfully unselfish post I have ever read :rose:

It has also made me reconsider my attitude in some ways towards the strictly online relationship - at least you are having some outlet for your BDSM desires and you are very lucky to have an understanding husband.

I'm not an exhibitionist either but I have played with another Dom at a play party (my first caning :eek: ) and also once when we went to visit a Master/slave couple we know. Believe me you do forget there are other people watching! At the party I went very deep into sub space - even after the scene I was in a kind of floaty state until we got home a couple of hours later :) It did make a difference that Master Gil was there though, I am not sure I could do it if He wasn't there :eek:
Click to expand...

You are so right about how lucky I am to have an understanding husband who, essentially granted me my online freedom and bought me a laptop with which to have it.

He may drive me crazy in some ways (doesn't everyone?) but he is the most wonderful man I've ever known in RL. He's told me that should I feel a "need" to seek out a Dom in RL or have an affair, that I can but that is something I can't do and live with myself later.

He has also agreed to doing all sorts of wonderfully kinky things with me.

:D

Fury :rose:
 
Being in a LDR is quite difficult. It is coming up on four years for rose and I, and it looks like I will be making one more visit before I move. It is the time we are together that keeps me going most of the time, as I am incomplete without her around.

I have been cooking up some wicked surprises for her for next time.
 
FurryFury said:
If you were to read over my posts you'd see that I sometimes have these sub frenzy type things. Or other times I have a hate on for myself because of my choices and they are my choices that hold me back.

The thing is, I don't really feel like I have a choice emotionally. I can't do anything else really. I mean if my husband told me to stop I would, I'd have to but it would be so hard.

I won't or can't conceive of leaving my wonderful husband or kids. So I do what I can do with his blessing.

I am lucky to have an online Dom who is a wonderful fit for me and vice versa. His life also doesn't lend itself to RL at this time. I want that for him though because he deserves to have it all. Even if that means we can't remain together. Yes, we do have a deep bond.

Yes, I'd like more and RL. It just isn't possible for me at this time and I don't see that changing anytime soon if ever.

Fury :rose:
Click to expand...

thank you for answering my questions :) i was really hoping i wasn't coming off as a bitch or anything. i agree that you are stronger than i. i couldn't do it...... :rose:
 
FurryFury said:
I don't know that I'm all that strong but simply pragmatic. I crave the RL too, as I said. There are times I hate myself for "feeding" the conflict I feel.

If I'd been with my Dom in RL and it worked for us, I'm absolutely certain I'd have a nearly impossible time with being distant after that.

I love being thought of as strong though. Thank you. :kiss:

Fury :rose:
Click to expand...

You are a strong woman Fury, really, without a doubt. From what you have described, you are all strong and I admire greatly the way you all deal with the situation, which must as times be really difficult, balancing all the people you love, your cravings for RL and your desire to do the right thing for all concerned.
Really I would never read your post and think here is a woman who feeds the conflict within her. What I read is here is a woman who has taken a conflict within her and yet managed to take an extremely difficult situation and make it work the best it can for everyone in it.
People and lives are not always as straightforward as we would hope for, I know my own isn't. I would like to think I will show the same respect for people and deal with things with the same integrity that you have. :rose:
 
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lil_slave_rose said:
thank you for answering my questions :) i was really hoping i wasn't coming off as a bitch or anything. i agree that you are stronger than i. i couldn't do it...... :rose:
Click to expand...

No problem. Lil Slave Rose I don't think you came off as a bitch. You and I have vast differences in how we live our lifes, and see things but asking questions and discussing it doesn't have to mean either of us are bitches or oppose one another at all IMO.

*hug*

I don't agree that I'm stronger than you btw. I know you've been through some really horrible things and made it out, made a good life that's strong.

Fury :rose:
 
minx1 said:
You are a strong woman Fury, really, without a doubt. From what you have described, you are all strong and I admire greatly the way you all deal with the situation, which must as times be really difficult, balancing all the people you love, your cravings for RL and your desire to do the right thing for all concerned.
Really I would never read your post and think here is a woman who feeds the conflict within her. What I read is here is a woman who has taken a conflict within her and yet managed to take an extremely difficult situation and make it work the best it can for everyone in it.
People and lives are not always as straightforward as we would hope for, I know my own isn't. I would like to think I will show the same respect for people and deal with things with the same integrity that you have. :rose:
Click to expand...

Thanks Minx1,

There are times that I do feel I've fed the conflict and should not have. Those times are when I'm angry that I'm not getting what I feel I need. When I say I feel it, I mean it's sliding against my skin and about to burst out of my heart, my body is vibrating with it. Rarely, but at times, it does get out toward my husband which isn't fair at all.

You are right about people and lives not being straightforward. At least I agree with that. Again, I don't think I'm all that strong I'm just doing what I feel is right for me and mine. Thanks for feeling otherwise.

*hugs*

Fury :rose:
 
I always joked when I finally foundmy Master, that I tried but I couldn't get one further away. lol serves me right :rolleyes:

Next week He is in Sydney on business.....another 2 hours away!

Not only will the new time distance suck even more, we won't get to chat as much everyday. We also won't have this weekend as we normally do to chat till late as I have my mum coming for a Mothers Day weekend. Which on a good note I am really looking forward to...we get on really well :)

Finally as luck would(n't) have it.... something was playing up rotten with my internet connection, so we kept getting cut off from eachother today and I lost Him completely just as I was trying to say bye. God damn it!
I am trying to be positive though because I know we will both try and make time for eachother and will speak on the phone.

Someone please remind me of this next week, when I'm on here moaning. Just give me a sharp dig in the ribs ok :rolleyes: *laugh*

and Master, if you drop in here on the way to peek at the AM pics over the weekend *tease*, I will miss you lots, but will keep you close in my thoughts and heart :heart:
 
So dissapointed....

Yes.. I got so angry at my dad last night.... angry n sad =( Cos then he decided to be a total bitch and he criticized my relationship with my love. Just cos it's online. I don't get him at all... And then he was all up for the idea about me going to the us but not staying with my love =(
I mean, what would be safer? For me to stay somewhere in the US all alone? Or to be with someone who I actually know... well partly... And who lives in a somewhat clean neighborhood and all.
Oof well whatever. I don't need his money. I get about 800 buck monthly anyway. Within two months I'll have enough to go myself. My plan about going to a school still stands.
I'm just so disappointed though. Cos I thought that finally my dad would support me in something that would actually make me happy and fulfilled. Something i just KNOW is right. But no... He has to be arrogant and act like he doesn't owe me anything, which he does... after all the years of being nothing but nonsupporting and a cold hearted..

But I'm ok now... My love said some words that I've really wanted to hear for a very long time :) So it cheered me up alot. Nothing will stop us from being together ^_^
 
Little_Kitten said:
Yes.. I got so angry at my dad last night.... angry n sad =( Cos then he decided to be a total bitch and he criticized my relationship with my love. Just cos it's online. I don't get him at all... And then he was all up for the idea about me going to the us but not staying with my love =(
I mean, what would be safer? For me to stay somewhere in the US all alone? Or to be with someone who I actually know... well partly... And who lives in a somewhat clean neighborhood and all.
Oof well whatever. I don't need his money. I get about 800 buck monthly anyway. Within two months I'll have enough to go myself. My plan about going to a school still stands.
I'm just so disappointed though. Cos I thought that finally my dad would support me in something that would actually make me happy and fulfilled. Something i just KNOW is right. But no... He has to be arrogant and act like he doesn't owe me anything, which he does... after all the years of being nothing but nonsupporting and a cold hearted..

But I'm ok now... My love said some words that I've really wanted to hear for a very long time :) So it cheered me up alot. Nothing will stop us from being together ^_^
Click to expand...

Hey Kitten :rose:

You sound pretty upset and angry. I hope you are ok hon.

What made your dad change his mind about supporting your trip? Is it just that he's worried about you... not just going to the US but also devoting your time to something that he sees as 'only' online and therefore doesn't realy understand?
I'm just throwing ideas out there...but would it help things if your dad could speak to him and put his mind at rest a little?
 
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