Le Jacquelope
Loves Spam
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- Apr 9, 2003
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Is that the phrase for people who are sometimes Doms with their partner, and sometimes Subs?
How many people actually do that?
How many people actually do that?
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LovingTongue said:Is that the phrase for people who are sometimes Doms with their partner, and sometimes Subs?
How many people actually do that?
I wonder what others in the BDSM community think of that kind of relationship?AvaAdore said:*raises hand*
We only switch from time to time... I'm predominantly sub.
LovingTongue said:I wonder what others in the BDSM community think of that kind of relationship?![]()
Well, I was interested in hearing from people who do switch D/s and their take on the lifestyle. I imagine that there's a certain beauty to be found in the balance of it all.neonflux said:Hi, LovingTongue!
What specifically are you interested in?
I can't say that I know how many people are switch. I definitely am, and so is my kink partner (male). Both of us are more Dominant, which can be interesting. In terms of what we enjoy, he is more into D/s when subbing, I am much more of a masochist. I am exploring certain facets of BDSM with my primary, who is seems to be switch (no pain, btw).
Absolutely, you have to appreciate what it's like to place your trust in your Dom/me and submit to their will.It provides one with an interesting perspective. A pro domme I know here, for whom I have a great deal of respect says that she believes it is very difficult to fully develop one's Dominant side without switching, at least occassionally.
That and it makes the whole experience more funIt certainly gives me a greater appreciation for both roles, and provides experiences that I think can make me both a better Top and bottom.
Trios. Hooboy. I can hardly handle being half of a duo. I gotta give him a thumbs up!There are a number of us on Lit. Many of my friends in my RL community are also switch (although a lot are not). One of the most amazing trios - poly - that plays regularly at our community play space here (San Francisco) - two women and a man, are all switch and they will switch mid-scene. They do a lot of play piercing and are awesome to watch. I know one couple that is 24/7 who are both switch - they trade roles on a monthly basis, then flip for big community events like the Folsom Street Fair.
Hope this is helpful - would be happy to answer specific questions, also.
Neon
It's in honor of our cats, one of whom behaves just like that.P.S., I adore your AV - it's so cute! Then again, I'm a sucker for pussies, LOL.![]()
LovingTongue said:Well, I was interested in hearing from people who do switch D/s and their take on the lifestyle. I imagine that there's a certain beauty to be found in the balance of it all.
Absolutely, you have to appreciate what it's like to place your trust in your Dom/me and submit to their will.
That and it makes the whole experience more fun![]()
LovingTongue said:Trios. Hooboy. I can hardly handle being half of a duo. I gotta give him a thumbs up!What is play-piercing, btw?![]()
LovingTongue said:It's in honor of our cats, one of whom behaves just like that.switch "for" with "of" and that's me!
LovingTongue said:Is that the phrase for people who are sometimes Doms with their partner, and sometimes Subs?
How many people actually do that?
Netzach said:If you really don't want to, you'll walk away with this: "Jesus, this is a lot of work." When you do want to, the amount of work needed seems like a minor trade-off for the amount you get out of it....
SweetErika said:I'm a Switch with Dominant leanings from what I've learned so far. I'm not sure how successful I'll be at finding another switch who's primarily submissive but also a good Top sometimes, nor do I know how well I'd be able to switch with someone I have a serious PE with, so right now I'm primarily looking for a sub and to get my bottoming needs met in other ways.
I haven't heard any negative comments about Switches from the community yet. With the exception of a few crazies, I've heard nothing but respect and acceptance for all orientations. It appears there's no shortage of Switches out there - I've seen quite a few here, elsewhere online, and have met many at my local playspace.
You wish you could what?rbijon said:I wish I could ...but Mistress is soooo demanding!![]()
neonflux said:Hi Explaura,
What kind of community do you have (e.g., is it large, pretty closeted, etc.) The reason I ask is that my own experience has been that 1) there are more switch guys out there than one might think (although maybe they are not always "out" in public spaces); 2) that if you're switch, your energy will end up attracting the same. I will acknowledge that I live in San Francisco, but both of my current partners are switch.
Neon
(Now, if I could only find a compatable switch woman, LOL!)
I would divide the BDSM aficionados whom I have known over the years into two broad groups.LovingTongue said:Is that the phrase for people who are sometimes Doms with their partner, and sometimes Subs?
How many people actually do that?
WOW! This insight makes so much sense to me! Regarding the control, there are elements of both service and command that I find appealing, and do even outside of scening but only on a temporary basis - for instance, I have a friend for whose events I wouldn't mind at all being a service sub; on the other hand, I often take control in my professional and personal life (e.g., organizing folks for a party or outing) AND enjoy it.JMohegan said:I would divide the BDSM aficionados whom I have known over the years into two broad groups.
Group A: Those who are into pain play, sensation play, or erotic bondage.
Group B: Those who are into pain play, sensation play, or erotic bondage but are also driven by a need to surrender or exert control beyond the moments involved in specific scenes, sessions, or sexual episodes.
Among the people I know in Group A, I'd say that switching is very common. In Group B, it is very rare.
JMohegan said:I would divide the BDSM aficionados whom I have known over the years into two broad groups.
Group A: Those who are into pain play, sensation play, or erotic bondage.
Group B: Those who are into pain play, sensation play, or erotic bondage but are also driven by a need to surrender or exert control beyond the moments involved in specific scenes, sessions, or sexual episodes.
Among the people I know in Group A, I'd say that switching is very common. In Group B, it is very rare.
BiBunny said:I like this explanation. I'd say Master and I fall into both Groups A and B. I am a submissive who occasionally gets off on causing pain. He is a dominant who occasionally gets off on being hurt. I might be able to pull off being dominant during a specific bedroom scene, and he might be able to pull off being submissive. We might even be able to pull it off for a couple of days, if the mood is right. But, in the end, it always goes back to him being the dominant and me being the submissive because he is truly driven by a need to exert control, and I'm truly driven by a need to surrender.
Did that makes sense at all?![]()
I also want to mention that we have yet to actually switch with one another yet. I went to visit him Tuesday with every intention of tying him up, but I've managed to acquire the flu. I got into a coughing fit about five minutes from his house and showed up feeling like utter and complete shit. The sum of our visit was me lying on the couch coughing and him rubbing my feet and back (while I tried not to breathe my nasty germs on him). I'm feeling better now and hoping for my opportunity to go sadistic on his ass while he's still in the mood to be tied.![]()
SweetErika said:You wish you could what?![]()
JMohegan said:I would divide the BDSM aficionados whom I have known over the years into two broad groups.
Group A: Those who are into pain play, sensation play, or erotic bondage.
Group B: Those who are into pain play, sensation play, or erotic bondage but are also driven by a need to surrender or exert control beyond the moments involved in specific scenes, sessions, or sexual episodes.
Among the people I know in Group A, I'd say that switching is very common. In Group B, it is very rare.
BiBunny said:I like this explanation. I'd say Master and I fall into both Groups A and B. I am a submissive who occasionally gets off on causing pain. He is a dominant who occasionally gets off on being hurt. I might be able to pull off being dominant during a specific bedroom scene, and he might be able to pull off being submissive. We might even be able to pull it off for a couple of days, if the mood is right. But, in the end, it always goes back to him being the dominant and me being the submissive because he is truly driven by a need to exert control, and I'm truly driven by a need to surrender.
Did that makes sense at all?![]()
I also want to mention that we have yet to actually switch with one another yet. I went to visit him Tuesday with every intention of tying him up, but I've managed to acquire the flu. I got into a coughing fit about five minutes from his house and showed up feeling like utter and complete shit. The sum of our visit was me lying on the couch coughing and him rubbing my feet and back (while I tried not to breathe my nasty germs on him). I'm feeling better now and hoping for my opportunity to go sadistic on his ass while he's still in the mood to be tied.![]()
Well said! I like to add to that, my wife & I make it up as we go. We don't do planned scenarios.ntp said:Switching doesn't feel like a compromise to me. Having both sides of it available to me that makes it worthwhile for me. But I'm not a "lifestyler" - for me it's a fun kind of play where I can explore the mental as well as the physical landscape. It's the exploring that's fun for me.
I adore the look of a playmate bound helpless and waiting to see what will happen next. Even moreso when I ponder how some day next week that playmate might get an evil look in her eye and I'll feel myself slipping into sub-land. *shrug* It's a balance.
ntp