wondering if i could get some advice please!!!!

Hello everyone! love the site the people and the threads... however i was wondering if i could get some help from the sex-experts around here...

and thus my problem........
See when my girlfriend and i are making out really good or start foreplay or anything like that i do the right thing and reach down and start playing with her clit... well i've no problem ever finding it on any girl (sorry i had to stroke my ego somewhere on this page) and she was no exception. However she complains that it hurts more than feels good. I think she might just be nervous and still a little shy with this sort of thing. we've been together 11 months and been messing around and having sex for about 6. but i get going really good on her then i move to her clit and viola, she jumps and looks at me and says no and that it feels too wierd for her. she lets me sometimes, and i've tried going easy, going rough, going around and going about, but nothings really working... she wont let me eat her out either so thats out the question. but i don't know what to do. i want to make her feel as good as she does me. and she makes me feel REALLY GOOD. (she gives great head.) but anyway any comments on what i could do? i've done everthing. ex. comfortable temperature... cold room ='s sexual feelings gone hot room ='s to exhausted to do anything, great foreplay before i get there ( guys are all about getting right to the action, but girls like to be played with first), and everything eles i can think of. ANY COMMENTS QUESTIONS OR ANYTHING ELES WOULD BE GREAT GUYS.

~thanks love you all!!!!

cLTC B.

Some women just can't take direct clitoral stimulation. Perhaps you could try being a little less direct--focus on the areas around her clit and not the clit itself.

My first reaction is to say, don't touch her clit. There are times mine can be hyper-sensitive even with little arousal. When it's like that it really does hurt.

So, you know that about her. Are there any times when it has been pleasurable for her? Perhaps she isn't used to the pain/pleasure. Is she comfortable with you? Has this been an ongoing thing for her with prior experiences?

Are you able to finger her within her folds? Inside her? Her main pleasure may be that kind of activity, we're all different in how things feel. Add to that things change within our cycles too.

It would be easy to answer questions like this if all women worked the same way and there was a manual. If direct citoral stimulation doesn't work for her, you need to gently explore with you fingers and/or tongue to figure out what she likes. The obvious is to just ask her, because she might already know from masturbation.

I had a Gf who didn't like clitoral stimulation either, but she went nuts when I found something else - inside the labia, beneath the skin, there is a string like thing on each side that runs from somewhere around the clitoris down to I don't know where. Stimulating these things is what worked for her, but of course, your GF is different, and you just have to explore. Who knows, the magic spot might be on her foot. Enjoy the exploration and don't be too uptight about finding her spots, and something will happen.

In addition to the above, it sounds like even your 'gentle' touch is too rough. Don't worry, this has been an issue with every man I've been with -- and I LIKE a lot of clitoral stimulation.

Keeping the clit lubed is important, and try very light touching on the sides and very top (where her labia meet and turn into the mons pubis). Better yet, ask her to show you what feels good, or guide your fingers. Ask her to tell you left/right/softer/harder/circles/up and down/etc., and mix in plenty of other types of exploration, too. It's going to take both of you trying, sharing and communicating constantly to give her pleasure.

I've noticed many men have a tendency to get too focused on our orgasm, and forget that the journey to that point is the best part. It's often too hard, rushed, clit-focused, and there's not enough teasing, listening, asking, and responding to our verbal cues and body language. Don't fall into the same traps, now that you're aware of these problems.

All the above is good info. Ask her!

I agree on the masterbation issue - if she has explored what makes it right for her then she can tell you, or better still show you - a lot of girls are pretty uptight about masterbating in front of their guys but if you can get her to do it for you just watch and learn - as much as you might want to touch stay away.

Let us know how you get on.

thanks everyone... i really appreciate all the info, lots of great ideas and things. we are pretty vocal buti quess my ego hates having to admit that i need a map to get to where i want to go... but anyway love you guys,

Have Fun!

Well....

By now you have probably solved your problem, but maybe I can help anyway. I dont like having my clit touched either and I also dont like to have oral performed on me. I dont know why I cant stand having my clit touched but much like your girlfriend it hurts me ALOT! But my man found a way around this by simply placing his hand over my entire part and gently rubbing all around. When I say gently I mean like a feather gentle. It works for me I hope it can work for you. As far as oral goes if she is anything like me...I love giving head and I can sometimes get off by just doing that ALL night long rather than having sex sometimes. So dont be upset that she doesnt like oral being performed on her, chances are its a turn on for her to do it to you.

ozzy121 said:

thanks everyone... i really appreciate all the info, lots of great ideas and things. we are pretty vocal buti quess my ego hates having to admit that i need a map to get to where i want to go... but anyway love you guys,

Have Fun!

Click to expand...

Don't let your ego get in the way. The biggest key to being a great lover is admitting that you don'tknow it all, and realizing that EVERY woman is different. Hell, as soon as you think you got em figured out they change and throw you a curve ball anyway! Oh well, at least it keeps things from getting boring.

ozzy121 said:

thanks everyone... i really appreciate all the info, lots of great ideas and things. we are pretty vocal buti quess my ego hates having to admit that i need a map to get to where i want to go *... but anyway love you guys,

Have Fun!

Click to expand...

I'm assuming the above (*emphasis mine) is just a faux pa, (that it's not all about what you want). Don't use a map on her, we don't need to be 'found'. As Erika said we enjoy the journey a lot. If you are 'results orientented', and there is only your measuring tool to gauge a result, then you'll miss out on so much. Sometimes I don't orgasm but that absolutely does not mean I haven't been satified. There are times I know I'm not going to climax -- it's just not going to happen during that experience but again, I can still be very satisfied.

So, no maps, okay? Just enjoy all territories and do remember the landscape can change at any moment. (We like to keep things lively!)