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Isolated Blurt Thread

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I'm going over and over and over possible comebacks in my head. What scares me most is not having Luna there with me. All the wisdom, advice, and lessons she's given me are so valuable, but I'm afraid they'll get lost in my fear (...don't show it, they'll feed off of it...) and anger, and suddenly my mother's words will have me by the throat. What if I freeze up? What if I cry? ...But what if I don't? Will I be able to let go of something, finally, like Luna and I talked about? If I don't cry, if I turn myself into a rock. If I can just laugh in her face and make her see that all the hurt, all the damage, all the pain is finally healing, no thanks to her, will I see clearer? Can I get in and get out without too much trouble? I'm considering the fact that it could be the thought of my dad that keeps me from getting angry. There is no time to think about this. I have to go in, do whatever I end up doing and pray for the best. Somehow it's like a sick improv game...one without such hilarious outcomes. I can't bear to come away from this event with even more emotional damage to my name. I never thought about how I really turned out until yesterday...or was it today...? I can't remember. I thought I was okay. I thought I turned out so perfect, without all the emotional shit that went along with abuse. I don't know how to get angry. I mean, anger isn't an unknown dimension to me, but I don't know how to get angry without feeling guilty. I'm afraid that if I get angry, someone might hurt me for saying whatever I want. I'm so screwed up and so lost, that I'm afraid it's too late to start healing. How am I supposed to know if I'm really getting better or just tricking myself into believing I am? Am I driving myself insane?
 
artisticbiguy said:
MAT! hydrogen peroxied does NOT hurt and you need to clean your cuts properly or you will get an infection that will do worse!

CLEAN THE DAMN WOUND PROPERLY

*waving battle axe menacingly*

(not that I'd hurt the Auntie, but in this costume I have to do something)
Click to expand...

I'll modify with this -- If the wound does hurt from the peroxide, you've been soaking in it for a good long time, like 15 minutes or so, and that's EXCESSIVE. I am a delicate, fragile thing and I am constantly getting cuts and infections, and the peroxide hurts about as much as water does -- and less than soap will. Redness means you MUST clean it, as infection does not care in the slightest how stubborn, brave, impervious to pain, or otherwise marvelous you are. It will make you sick and miserable just the same.
 
malachiteink said:
I'll modify with this -- If the wound does hurt from the peroxide, you've been soaking in it for a good long time, like 15 minutes or so, and that's EXCESSIVE. I am a delicate, fragile thing and I am constantly getting cuts and infections, and the peroxide hurts about as much as water does -- and less than soap will. Redness means you MUST clean it, as infection does not care in the slightest how stubborn, brave, impervious to pain, or otherwise marvelous you are. It will make you sick and miserable just the same.
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Thank you both. :kiss:
 
*sigh*

Nag, nag, nag, nag.

Not satisfied with her own words, she enlists support.

I have zero tolerance to physical pain. Less than zero.

And it foams!!! That's not right !
 
matriarch said:
*sigh*

Nag, nag, nag, nag.

Not satisfied with her own words, she enlists support.

I have zero tolerance to physical pain. Less than zero.

And it foams!!! That's not right !
Click to expand...

But it's a gentle cleansing foam... like the stuff you spray on ovens.

Stop being a baby... take medicine... feel better.
 
neonlyte said:
But it's a gentle cleansing foam... like the stuff you spray on ovens.

Stop being a baby... take medicine... feel better.
Click to expand...


But, but, but.......I AM a baby.

:(
 
matriarch said:
But, but, but.......I AM a baby.

:(
Click to expand...
and what do we do with babies?!? make them take their medicine anyway as -they don't know any better-.

(holding out hydrgenperoxide & clean swabs) have at babe!
 
matriarch said:
*sigh*

Nag, nag, nag, nag.

Not satisfied with her own words, she enlists support.

I have zero tolerance to physical pain. Less than zero.

And it foams!!! That's not right !
Click to expand...

oh feh, it foams ;) Silly woman. that's how you know it is working. It won't foam where there isn't blood. I don't know all the details, but I've noticed every time I've used it (which is frequently) that I can put it all around the injury and nothing happens, but where there is blood, it foams.

Which is why it's very handy for removing bloodstains from clothes (something I learned when I worked with nurses).

As far as pain goes, dear, wonderful Mat -- the peroxide will hurt so much less than an abscessed wound will. Can't have you going around pussy and unhappy, can we? No no, that will NOT do. Now let the lovely Minsue minister to your wound and kwicherbitchin' ;)
 
She's wandered off to the shower now. I'll be waiting in the bathroom to ambush her as soon as she gets out. :cool:
 
minsue said:
She's wandered off to the shower now. I'll be waiting in the bathroom to ambush her as soon as she gets out. :cool:
Click to expand...
*grunting and holding up my weapon* I'm good at ambushes!
 
minsue said:
She's wandered off to the shower now. I'll be waiting in the bathroom to ambush her as soon as she gets out. :cool:
Click to expand...

Really add insult to injury -- use a Power Rangers bandaid :)
 
another AHer said:
I'm going over and over and over possible comebacks in my head.
Click to expand...
This triggered something. A woman who is very close to me was in a very toxic relationship for a long time and a couple years ago got into an al-anon program, which is the support group for partners of alcoholics. Her husband wasn't an active alky, but has all the dysfunctional attitudes and mental habits. (The AA people say it's unfortunate that it's called alcoholism because drinking is just one very common behavior generated by the real problem, but not the only one.) The lesson the al-anon people teach is that you can't control the behavior of other people, you are not responsible for it. You are only responsible for and can control your own response to it, which can be one that improve your life one that does not.

Anyway, this gal got real serious about this a year ago, and it really changed her thinking. It made her a very powerful person, when before she had been weak. Among other things she refused to be manipulated any more. This triggered what has become the divorce from hell, but that's another story.

Here's the point: This woman used to expend mountains of energy doing things like "going over and over and over possible comebacks in my head," and thinking about what she should have done or could do different, etc. Now she mentally slaps herself whenever she finds herself chasing her tail in that way, per the lessons of the al-anon people.

I'm impressed, to say the least.


PS. She tells a story about her and her sister, who has a more "alcoholic" pattern of (minor) bad mental habits. (She's not an alcoholic and not dysfunctional, but the story will explain.) Here's the quote from the now-powerful al-anon woman: "If I went to Florida and it rained all week, my reaction would have been, 'I can't believe I picked the one week it rained every day!' If Mary goes and it rains, her response would be an outraged, 'I can't believe it rained on me (at me) every day!"

LOL! Don't read too much into this little parable though. The behaviors and mental habits of the al-anon person are more varied and complex than indicated by this, but stem from similar roots, in most cases toxic upbringings.

Al-anon programs are everywhere, and aren’t just for those in active relationships with alcoholics, the drinking kind or otherwise. They are also for people whose lives have been diminished by the effects of past relationships.
 
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Success! :D Thanks for the peer pressure, all. :kiss:

Off to watch a DVD now. Blockbuster left a threatening message on the phone...better get that one back tomorrow. :rolleyes:
 
minsue said:
She's wandered off to the shower now. I'll be waiting in the bathroom to ambush her as soon as she gets out. :cool:
Click to expand...


Scared me so much, my hair turned white. Honest! It did! Right then and there! :D :D :D
 
minsue said:
Success! :D Thanks for the peer pressure, all. :kiss:

Off to watch a DVD now. Blockbuster left a threatening message on the phone...better get that one back tomorrow. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

OK.......so it didn't hurt......but it COULD have. *pout*
 
The_Fool said:
I really wasn't gonna share with everyone, but Vellalala made me do it. Get it off the brain..... :rolleyes:

flash me baby.
offer me sunrise under pleated skies.
slide the cloth aside.
share your secrets hidden
in blatant fashion.
two fingers to open the door,
another to point the way
to Heaven. there is no reasoning with my need.
you are the reason for my desire.
I want to lave my tongue upon your sex,
let my tongue tingle as I taste
you. breathe in slow,
I breathe out harsh.
moan as I blow caresses.
let me dedicate my lust
as I pray to your Venus.
Click to expand...

That's pretty damn good Fool...
 
McKenna said:
Tired. Should sleep, but I don't want to.
Click to expand...
Same here, tried three times and gave up. Even umpteenth draft of novel synopsis has failed to work its usual magic.
 
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