My neighbour, Kelly the Crackwhore
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it_matters
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One would hope... I could imagine Kelly at 8 years of age. You wonder why the flower withered.crazycatt said:
Hm.crazycatt said:
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southerntierguy
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Hmmm, this was one of mg's last posts of the evening. She either had a very late date scheduled herself, or her curiosity got the best of her.montrealgirl said:
I'll admit, I've been laughing along in this thread, but the idea that Kelly had to spend yesterday alone for the first time in 10 years, and crazycatt's reminder that she probably has been in love before ... and reading about so many people who had a rough time yesterday, really wonderful women and men enduring heartbreak within their marriages ... and the news release (on Valentine's Day) of a really nice 25-year-old guy from the very small town I live in, being killed in Iraq, and thinking of his family; and my brother-in-law heading to Afghanistan, my sister and her 2 year old at home ... made me feel a bit more sympathetic. Lot's of people, even crackwhores, have love lives that tear them up.
So, a toast to Kelly, may her lovers never disappear completely.
Here's to mg, chronicler of a woman of legend, and student of enhancing one's appeal through the use of blue glitter, tastefully applied everywhere. Hope mg's you-know-who approves of Kelly's subtle influence.
Still awaiting my formal birthday invite; you being so conservative and all, I know just showing up with extra crack and ice cream isn't going to cut it.
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elbiscayne
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montrealgirl said:
that goes without saying.
montrealgirl
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I can picture it now:borg3of4 said:
"As I woke up this morning, my mouth feeling pasty, my head foggy, my body longing for my next hit, still tangled in a sweaty embrace with a burly man who is a lousy lay, but tips well, I can hear her: my ultra-conservative neighbour.
She leaves every morning before 9am, dressed in either a pantsuit or a knee-length skirt, carrying a backpak and a laptop case. I assume she must go to University and work full-time as she returns each night around 7pm. If only she knew that this type of independence was such a waste of time and energy. She is really cute and has great smile. If she could only revamp her heinous makeup from those dull natural tones to a more vibrant glittery purple she could make a killing turning tricks. I am convinced that under that bookish and conservative exterior lays a true vixen.
I am secretly happy that she is so backwards in her ways. Our neighbourhood isn't big enough for the two of us.
She gets in her car and drives off. I head into the kitchen, pick up my wine glass from last night, fill it with some Molson 50, sit down and let the warm liquid slide down my throat, soothing my soul and comforting my nerves.
So, who should I do today?"
montrealgirl
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Hi there m.j.h. Very nice to meet you! Welcome to Kelly's world.m.j.h said:
Stick around, there is enough crack for all of us.
montrealgirl said:
Thanks for the welcome.
I think i have become an addict as i can't wait for my next hit of Crack from "KtCW".
*Stands up* "My name is ****** and I'm a Crack addict"
On a side note i noticed you went orange with the initials for some reason, same colour as my race car.
montrealgirl
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I have Part 6 pretty much finished but I'm away from home this weekend and do not have access to any KtCW photos...I feel that the final chapter in this saga really deserves visual accompaniment. So, you all must wait.m.j.h said:Thanks for the welcome.
I think i have become an addict as i can't wait for my next hit of Crack from "KtCW".
*Stands up* "My name is ****** and I'm a Crack addict"
On a side note i noticed you went orange with the initials for some reason, same colour as my race car.
Hopefully it will be worth it.
Didn't I see you car last night parked in front of Kelly's place?
Batman4ever71
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Final Chapter????
MG ~
Say it aint so!!!! Kelly's exploits have become the stuff of legend around here. I don't know if we can go on withoout our "fixes" of whitty observations by such a talented author.
If this must be the final chapter can you grant me one request? When penning the book that would sure to be a Pulitzer Prize Winning effort, could you keep a diary of her daioy exploits so that we can all have a day by day account of Kelly's Crackwhore life?
Can't wait to read Chapter 6,
Batman
MG ~
Say it aint so!!!! Kelly's exploits have become the stuff of legend around here. I don't know if we can go on withoout our "fixes" of whitty observations by such a talented author.
If this must be the final chapter can you grant me one request? When penning the book that would sure to be a Pulitzer Prize Winning effort, could you keep a diary of her daioy exploits so that we can all have a day by day account of Kelly's Crackwhore life?
Can't wait to read Chapter 6,
Batman
montrealgirl
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Sincere apologies...
Oh my. I should be careful when I write; not just to avoid having some pimp named Guido from showing up at my door with a tire iron, but also to avoid upsetting the masses.
When I started this thread in the fall, my intention was to share my KtCW observations with whoever would take the time to read my stories. I never imagined I would strike "gold" with my New Year's Story which has turned into a 6 part saga and seems to have entertained many.
When I wrote "final chapter", I meant final in the New Year's with KtCW anecdote. I hope to share any future sightings and interactions I may have. I just worry that I may have already "peaked"
But one can never really know. Crackwhores are entirely unpredictable. Unless of course, you are holding crack.
Oh my. I should be careful when I write; not just to avoid having some pimp named Guido from showing up at my door with a tire iron, but also to avoid upsetting the masses.
When I started this thread in the fall, my intention was to share my KtCW observations with whoever would take the time to read my stories. I never imagined I would strike "gold" with my New Year's Story which has turned into a 6 part saga and seems to have entertained many.
When I wrote "final chapter", I meant final in the New Year's with KtCW anecdote. I hope to share any future sightings and interactions I may have. I just worry that I may have already "peaked"
But one can never really know. Crackwhores are entirely unpredictable. Unless of course, you are holding crack.
montrealgirl
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Cheers indeed.southerntierguy said:
I've got the blue glitter perfected...still working on the black eyeliner. I'm afraid I might be a little too fair. Shame.southerntierguy said:
You are right. Please bring Reese Peanut Butter cups too. That will get you through the door. How exciting. You will get to see me blow out 31 candles. And Kelly blowing all the guests.southerntierguy said:
Should be a great time.
montrealgirl
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I would have really enjoyed that. Too bad I posted so quickly.crazycatt said:
