The hardcore stuff:enemas/fisting/knife-play/needles/strangling...

Ok, I have to ask about this stuff because two nights ago I had suddenly realized the type of "pain" I could tolerate if I ever venture into painland.

I've been chatting with a member on here who sent me a few stories to read. (ones from other websites, not on here) I read the first story and while the whole bondage part of it was great, I only got about half way through it because of the.................enema. (this member was just sharing a story with me and had no idea I'd react to a story like this...I'm just sharing my reaction to the story itself)

I've had an enema. (for appendicitis when I was younger) They are damn painful. Awful. The cramping is horrible. As I was reading this story and the detailed description of how the woman was giving herself an enema, my whole body started to react...or recoil, if you will. I felt woozy, nauceous, sicky....etc. I literally had to stop reading the story. I couldn't stomach the enema part.

But what it made me realize, is I'll never be able to stomach S&M that involves "inside" pain. "Outside" pain like spanking, etc I can tolerate. But "insdie" pain, like enemas, fistings, needle-play, rape-play, knife-play, etc......no freaking way. I was so surprised at how my body reacted to that story. I also get woozy watching sword swallowers. Can't handle it. Any kind of "inside" pain just gives me the heeby-jeebies.

So, that leads me to this question for some of you. How in the world are you able to have an orgasm from this type of hardcore stuff? How does your body not recoil from it? These types of things just sound so painful to me....like too painful to get any kind of sexual release from.

I guess I'm just curious. What made you realize that these kinds of things were what you were into? I don't know a lot about knife-play or fisting but I believe fisting does involve actually making the hand into a fist? And knife-play involves putting a knife up certain areas? (or does knife-play involve cutting?....I know, I know, I need to do more research instead of asking here)

Now, I'm NOT judging at all. If you love a good enema, then hey, more power to ya. But man, it just sounds rough to me. I would never be able to try any of these things. My whole body would reject them.


*in my best Linda Richman voice from Coffee Talk on Saturday Night Live...* "discuss amongst yourselves".....

I've heard of enemas being uncomftorable but never really painful. Enemas also serve a practical purpose though, if a dom doesn't want to get his cock dirty or if a domme doesn't want to get her strap-on dirty. I've never had one though so I'm talking based on what I've heard from others lol.

I suppose it depends on how much water you put in. If not too much, then maybe an enema is not too bad. But mine was very painful but that's because I was getting it done so that they could see my colon better when I was sick.

I also forgot to mention another thing I've seen lately. "Suspension". I get shivers just thinking about it. People who like to suspend themselves from hooks......*cringing*


Aye-yi-yi......

I get off on needle play because it's nowhere near as painful as it looks and because what gives you heebie-jeebies may be what gives me the lovely, incredible, endorphin high. It's a question of getting used to the idea, and if the idea is out and out traumatic, you may never get used to it and that's ok.

Enemas don't do anything for me, fisting doesn't work for me as a reciever at all, but I love to fist.

Everyone processes senations differently, I know that enemas are hideous for some people and calming and nice for others.

Netzach said:

I get off on needle play because it's nowhere near as painful as it looks and because what gives you heebie-jeebies may be what gives me the lovely, incredible, endorphin high. It's a question of getting used to the idea, and if the idea is out and out traumatic, you may never get used to it and that's ok.

Enemas don't do anything for me, fisting doesn't work for me as a reciever at all, but I love to fist.

Everyone processes senations differently, I know that enemas are hideous for some people and calming and nice for others.

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Just out of curiosity Netzach, when you are fisting someone, do you make your hand into a fist once you're inside, or is it in a fist first on the outside and then somehow inserted? And what all is involved in needle-play? (I'm honestly just curious, I swear I'm not judging at all)

No prob

the fist happens after the fact every time I've done it. I'm sure someone out there is that resilient, but I've not met them. The traditional thing is narrowing your hand, gently, slowly, carefully getting it in, then balling it up.

the needle thing , I know there's an old thread on it somewhere. It's too much to explain in one online post, but the idea is that you are putting small hypodermics through the topmost layers of skin, carefully, it's very organized, careful, and must be CLEAN play.

Netzach said:

No prob

the fist happens after the fact every time I've done it. I'm sure someone out there is that resilient, but I've not met them. The traditional thing is narrowing your hand, gently, slowly, carefully getting it in, then balling it up.

the needle thing , I know there's an old thread on it somewhere. It's too much to explain in one online post, but the idea is that you are putting small hypodermics through the topmost layers of skin, carefully, it's very organized, careful, and must be CLEAN play.

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Ah, I see. That makes sense. You know, I just remembere something. I used to "cut" myself with a razorblade when I was in highschool. (my depression started young and the cutting gave me a "release") So, I suppose I can understand to a certain degree. I actually used to have a very high tolerance to pain. But I guess with getting older, my tolerance is not that high anymore. I don't stomach things as well as I used to.

Does needle-play fall into the blood-play category, or are they seperate? (I was looking at the links in the BDSM library thread but they appear to be seperate)

I can't imagine getting much blood from small hypodermics in the topmost layer of skin

I've had a baby, so most pain play seems... not all that bad, to me.

But I'd have to say that explaining why I like pain is like explaining why I like mint milkshakes and not peach ones. Makes perfect sense to me, and is perfectly impossible for me to make sense of to you.

Regarding enemas:

My Dom and I have only engaged in this occasionally, however I have never had any pain whatsoever from the enema.

From a medical standpoint, a cool or cold water enema can cause severe cramping and bunching of the internal organs, that are recoiling from the cold. The anus is a very warm part of our bodies and cooling it off too quickly can cause EXTREME pain.

If you pick up a home medical dictionary or something similar, you will see that there is always a warning about keeping the water the right temperature. Too cold = cramping, too warm/hot = severe internal burns.

Also, the amount of water (or other liquids) used effects the sensation completely. A few cups of water will have a much different feel than say a half a bag.

If it was the pressure, not the temerature, that you believe may have been the problem, then just dropping the elevation of the bag will create less pressure, or reducing the amount of liquid.

Have never tried enema so cannot comment, but do enjoy needle play, nipple torture and having my cock trodden on by a nice high heel.

OK.... first the enema... you got the enema while you were enduring appendicitis as preparation for surgery if I read your post correctly. You were already in pain, your GI tract was inflamed and then they put water up there. Of course it hurt badly. You may never be able to tolerate the idea of an enema, but somehow, I doubt that one given while you are well would be painful.

Now, in terms of your question about pain in general and how we come to eroticise it... for me, that happened over time. When I was first exploring my submissive desires, I recoiled and said "no way" to a great many things that I enjoy today. Over time, playing with a couple of Doms that I have trusted, those barriers slowly wore away and were replaced with desire. As the desire for the pain grew, we experiemented with it more. We went slowly and carefully. Pain was administered in some cases just as I reached orgasm from pleasure. In that way, I learned to mix the two extremes in sensation.

That said, there is no rule that says you have to enjoy pain. I don't always *enjoy* pain. Sometimes, I hate it and I submit with tears streaming down my face; gritting my teeth as I endure. But the thing is, I crave it and I need it. Without regular SM play, I get edgy and bitchy and whiny and miserable to be around. With regular SM play, I tend to be calm, happy and even tempered. My orgasms are far more intense if SM is involved. Even if it's one of those times when I hate it, afterwards, I feel complete and satisfied.

Nobody says that pain has to be a part of your play. Some folks prefer the soft sensations. Do what works for you and your partner. If you develop an interest in trying something else, go for it. The important thing is to do what gets you both off and to keep an open mind to new experiences over time.

You can be submissive without being a masochist, and if you are a masochist, you don't have to be extreme. Just communicate your desires/limits clearly and negotiate well. I personally prefer a maso sub, but there are people who are strictly into control, or don't really go to extremes.

Those of us who do get extreme with our subs usually don't do it every time we play. I like to make sadistic love a lot, but it's hard work! I can't play to my highest sadistic ideal every time I play, or I'd be so busy recovering between times I'd never get anything done! And I'm damn sure that even the most masochistic pain slut I know needs down time to recover. You simply have to allow both human bodies to recover between time.

Aeroil.. Needleplay wise, if you're working in an area where there are veins/vessels very close to the skin (like many women's breasts, or a circumsized cock shaft) you may accidently nick a small one and there will be a bit more blood. Usually it's just a few drops though. Normally I don't go that deep; it depends on the person I'm needling. Since I don't go that far down, it's not happened to me. Also, if you have a person with a clotting disorder or someone who takes aspirin for a day or so pre-scene (to make better marks) you may get a slow leak thing going on. You just gotta be careful!

So, that leads me to this question for some of you. How in the world are you able to have an orgasm from this type of hardcore stuff? How does your body not recoil from it? These types of things just sound so painful to me....like too painful to get any kind of sexual release from.

I think you're mixing up questions. 1) Extreme pain can be brought about in various ways, internal and external. At some point no one is getting off on it.

2) The specific things you cite are NOT painful for many people. e.g., enemas (though an enema may be made painful, if one desires; e.g. use several quarts of water inserted in a hurry; or cold water, or other things. Even the insertion of needles through the nipple, say, is hardly the extreme of pain, and there is an erotic feel that overcomes the pain (which indeed tends to go away, just as with ear piercing.)

The insertion of a hand in vagina or anus is not necessarily painful; at any rate people work up to these things; they practice, try to accustom themselves to it. IOW, the aim is often to get past the pain to the weird full sensations, arousal, etc.

Let me just say that I am not judging, I'm just asking out of curiosity. (maybe I didn't word my first post right because it sounds like a few of you were slightly irritated with it) You guys have to remember that many of us on here are new to all of this. So I may ask "dumb/annoying/newbie" questions from time to time because I'm honestly trying to learn.

If I offended anyone or "irritated" anyone with my "newbie" question about this subject, I apologize. But I can't learn anything unless I ask. I know I could do more research about all of these things on the Interent but I like asking certain questions here instead because you guys have actually experienced it. You can give me a different point of view then just the descriptions I'd read about on other websites. So, if I worded my question in a way that seemed like it sounded like a put-down or something, I didn't mean it to sound that way.

I know you guys probably get tired of answering the same questions over and over again. But while this is the thousandth time you've answered it, it's the first time I've asked it. But thankyou for the replies so far. You guys are always amazingly informative and make me think of things from a different perspective. I've appreciated that.

I don't think I'll ever have the desire to try enemas, needle play, etc, but I am fascinated with other people's experiences. So, stayed tuned for the next "annoying" question from me in the near future.

hehehe, if anything they seem to get a bit irritated when you start apologizing for asking newbie questions, which I did indeed do a little while ago. don't be afraid to ask, we don't mind, answering questions is what the board is for. And for fun of course .

I'm not sure why you feel your question imposed at all. I encourage you to keep asking!

Only things I'd add is that some people find a enema to be relaxing (when done with the intention of not causing pain) and something that they can bond over.

If you can take a well lubed finger gently inserted in your ass and enjoy the feeling as it's held there, then you can probably enjoy a gentle mild enema.

Of course you will have to deal with/get past the bad experience you had as a child. Believe me, your enema then was like a "perfect storm" for causing pain.


A hand, inserted into the vagina with the thumb pressed against the plam tends to naturally curl into a fist as it goes in.

Fisting can be used to cause pain, and for many there is always tension/discomfort during the insertion -- this is offset by the endorphins of arousal. Gentle stretching, often over multiple sessions, is needed before many can willing enjoy accepting a fist.

When the fist is inside, almost all the vagina is in contact with it. Adjusting the fist, rotating it, making slight in and out movements, etc. can stimulate G-spot, A-spot, C-spot (if they exist for you), the cervix (again some like it, some don't) as well as the back (top) side of the clit, all at the same time.

It's rated by some as the most intense orgasm they can have. Perhaps if you enjoy anal, you can find a parallel with getting started then building to orgasm.

I know I could never wear a hood, or be locked in a dark space. I could never submit to electro-play. Those are beyond my edges.

As for enemas - meh. So long as it was safely administered, no probs.

But I'm a real fan of other stuff like mind games, humiliation and, dare I say, degradation. Breath play and knife play, but not so much clamping or needles.

I've always quietly thought that one person's edge is another person's comfort zone. Everybody is different in that respect.

And another thing to note is never say never too quickly. As most of us here who have been playing for some time will tell you, nearly all of us had things on a list we would never do, never never never, no way....and now do happily and even beg for. It is a journey where once you find someone you trust deeply, and they find the best way to encourage and relax you about pushing your limits, it changes everything and you discover a new you you may never have known before.

Catalina

I'm totally not offended, but also have to agree with catalina.

If you had asked me, ten years ago, will you ever have a handsome older leatherdyke sticking needles in your tuckus and much less ENJOYING that, I would have told you you are out of your ever loving mind.

catalina_francisco said:

And another thing to note is never say never too quickly. As most of us here who have been playing for some time will tell you, nearly all of us had things on a list we would never do, never never never, no way....and now do happily and even beg for. It is a journey where once you find someone you trust deeply, and they find the best way to encourage and relax you about pushing your limits, it changes everything and you discover a new you you may never have known before.

Catalina

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I had this experience just recently, with clit spanking. Never having had it done before, just the thought of it was enough to create an immediate "No Way!" However Master and I discussed it and just a few days ago I had my first experience with it.....and wow now I wonder what I was so scared of It has added a whole new dimension to our play, I've found that I do actually squirt when He does it......

Soulfiregirl said:

Let me just say that I am not judging, I'm just asking out of curiosity. (maybe I didn't word my first post right because it sounds like a few of you were slightly irritated with it) You guys have to remember that many of us on here are new to all of this. So I may ask "dumb/annoying/newbie" questions from time to time because I'm honestly trying to learn.

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I wasn't offended either. In fact, I'm not sure who you think was offended or irritated because I didn't get that from the posts I read. It was a valid question that hadn't really been asked in this way before. Keep asking and don't worry about bothering people. That's how we all learn. Besides, it makes us think about our own perspectives differently sometimes. That's not a bad thing.

I guess "offended" is the wrong word. I think it was more that I was worried that some members were slightly "irritated" with my original post. I have a tendency to overanalyze things to death.

Unfortunately, there is a side of me that's very insecure when getting to know people. I'm so worried I'm going to "bother" people with my "ignorance" or something. I guess you could say I'm still working on my own self esteem issues. Maybe that's why I'm drawn to bondage. It's attractive because it's an area where I'd actually feel "safe" and somewhat in control. I have a bad habit of apologizing for myself all the time when I really don't need to.

(For those of you who've seen the move Secretary with Maggie Gyllenhal....man, there are parts of me that are so her in that movie) Maybe I would be happier being a sub then a switch. I fantasize about dominating as well but I guess it is going to take me some time to figure it out. The more you guys talk about various types of pain release, the more fascinated I am with it. This board is never boring, that's for sure. lol.

Anyway, I'm rambling again. Sorry for the hijack. I'll let you all in on a little secret about me that will probably explain better why I'm all over the place on here sometimes (and a tad overly senstive perhaps...lol) I'm bipolar. (manic depressive) So, that's why I ramble, over-apologize, etc, in some posts. What can I say, I'm a bit of a nut.

And you guys have made another very good point. Things that I would never consider now (like enemas, etc), I might consider in the future if I meet the right person.

(Oh, and here's another thing I have a bad habit of doing and I honestly don't mean to do it. I'll start a thread about something for everyone and then I'll just start posting about me. See how self absorbed I am???? LOL....)

All I can say is, thankyou in advance for your patience. Carry on!

Soulfiregirl said:

I guess "offended" is the wrong word. I think it was more that I was worried that some members were slightly "irritated" with my original post. I have a tendency to overanalyze things to death.

Unfortunately, there is a side of me that's very insecure when getting to know people. I'm so worried I'm going to "bother" people with my "ignorance" or something. I guess you could say I'm still working on my own self esteem issues. Maybe that's why I'm drawn to bondage. It's attractive because it's an area where I'd actually feel "safe" and somewhat in control. I have a bad habit of apologizing for myself all the time when I really don't need to. ..........

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hehehe, yes I do that a lot too, I can get super technical and scientific with stuff too sometimes and that pisses people off a lot lol .

Aeroil said:

hehehe, yes I do that a lot too, I can get super technical and scientific with stuff too sometimes and that pisses people off a lot lol .

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Great minds think alike. lol.

I am going to make a better effort to check out the "How To" forum on here and the BDSM library. (then I won't have to ask so many questions that you guys have already answered a million times....lol)

(hey, this little banana guy used to be one of my avatars on another message board...lol)