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Sexless with an increasing libido

51 as of April. Wife and I have 2 young kids. We sleep separately as she has a health condition and requires good night sleep to be able to function 100% in a stressful high paying job (she's the major breadwinner in our family). I have a snoring issue that compounds the problem and we have our marital issues. Haven't slept in the same bed for a couple of years so that has killed off any intimacy. Now we are just friends and parents to two gorgeous children.
I am home early part of the week looking after kids drop-off/pickup/shopping/chores/laundry/house maintenance you name it. Work part time at a local restaurant front of house staff 2-3 nights on the weekends.
My libido is through the roof most days. Masturbate 2-3 times a night watching porn. Not sure when/if we will have sex. The few occasions we have, it's been very vanilla. She's not keen to try anything apart from slow, gentle, sensual love-making.
I'm sure loads of other ppl on here are in a similar situation. Being married and 2 young kids also means I am time-poor. While I look after myself physically and am in great shape, go to the gym, play golf etc. no woman looks at me with a ring and two kids in tow in any sexual manner. Not going to pay for sex, not going to have an affair with a neighbour or a school mom or a mutual friend of ours or any of my work colleagues.
I'm not sure where that leaves me increasing frustration with my situation. I find myself lonely and craving a woman's touch. If my kids were older, I was better off financially and separating now didn't cripple us financially which it would do, I would walk away but I am resigned to my situation being as is for the forseeable future. Hope others here have better options than I do.
 
When I stayed out all night, I still got home b4 my husband was up. And since I usually sleep in the guest room, & he goes to bed early in "our" bed, he didn't know what time I got home.
Until last week, when I was out all night, & then some... & then went out for breakfast, at which point I remembered I should let my husband know I'm ok. It was a bit after 9 a.m. when I texted the following:
"Hey, I'm ok. But I stayed out all night. I'll be home after a while. Plenty food for you to choose from."
 
GoodnessO said:
When I stayed out all night, I still got home b4 my husband was up. And since I usually sleep in the guest room, & he goes to bed early in "our" bed, he didn't know what time I got home.
Until last week, when I was out all night, & then some... & then went out for breakfast, at which point I remembered I should let my husband know I'm ok. It was a bit after 9 a.m. when I texted the following:
"Hey, I'm ok. But I stayed out all night. I'll be home after a while. Plenty food for you to choose from."
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Well at least you did text your husband. I did at times worry about my wife being out all night. I knew most of her dates and knew she was getting fucked. Bottom line it was only sex
 
Sweet_N_Kinky_BBW said:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years and live together. Due to some health issues on his end, our sex life has become almost nonexistent. He’s working with his doctors so for now I just have to be patient…and I’m trying so fucking hard, but I feel like I’m slowly going insane.

I’ve always had a really high sex drive and as I get older (40 this year) it’s only getting stronger. Every day I find myself lost in fantasies that involve random people - strangers, coworkers, the You Tube guy from a show we watch, hot guy at the grocery store….I think about these sexy strangers/acquaintances taking me in various ways. I want it hard and rough, slow and passionate, and everything in between….toys, teasing, role playing, and LOTS of oral. What I wouldn’t give for a man who wants to devour my pussy….I get so turned on and have no outlet for sweet relief. I’m in horny hell and thinking about sex constantly!

I’m not sure why I felt the need to post this. Maybe to finally get it off my chest in some way. I’m distracted on a daily basis at home and at work, and it’s getting worse. I can’t talk to my friends as it’s way too personal. I’m not open to cheating or naughty chats (cyber has never been my thing, single or not). I guess sending my frustration out into the internet void is the best I can do at the moment.
Click to expand...
Ever consider buying a sybian until he gets it figured out?
It's not cheating
 
maveric74 said:
51 as of April. Wife and I have 2 young kids. We sleep separately as she has a health condition and requires good night sleep to be able to function 100% in a stressful high paying job (she's the major breadwinner in our family). I have a snoring issue that compounds the problem and we have our marital issues. Haven't slept in the same bed for a couple of years so that has killed off any intimacy. Now we are just friends and parents to two gorgeous children.
I am home early part of the week looking after kids drop-off/pickup/shopping/chores/laundry/house maintenance you name it. Work part time at a local restaurant front of house staff 2-3 nights on the weekends.
My libido is through the roof most days. Masturbate 2-3 times a night watching porn. Not sure when/if we will have sex. The few occasions we have, it's been very vanilla. She's not keen to try anything apart from slow, gentle, sensual love-making.
I'm sure loads of other ppl on here are in a similar situation. Being married and 2 young kids also means I am time-poor. While I look after myself physically and am in great shape, go to the gym, play golf etc. no woman looks at me with a ring and two kids in tow in any sexual manner. Not going to pay for sex, not going to have an affair with a neighbour or a school mom or a mutual friend of ours or any of my work colleagues.
I'm not sure where that leaves me increasing frustration with my situation. I find myself lonely and craving a woman's touch. If my kids were older, I was better off financially and separating now didn't cripple us financially which it would do, I would walk away but I am resigned to my situation being as is for the forseeable future. Hope others here have better options than I do.
Click to expand...
I will never understand people that have no sexlife with their partner but won't go elsewhere.
Is there a merit badge that I am unaware of? Maybe a golden key to a safe full of money with my name on it?
I understand the kids but obviously you have plenty of time to " go to the gym, golf and do all your other playing while she works her ass off.
 
I can tell you why I don't go out and get myself laid - the potential fallout from getting caught. First, if I was lucky, the wife would chop my balls off and have them made into ear-rings, even though she is the reason I would be out there trawling for pussy in the first place. If I was unlucky, it would be the bitch of all divorces even though there are no kids involved. Second, my work contract has a morals clause in it, so getting caught means getting fired, though I might get away with a warning and some humiliation first time around. If I were the guilty party in a divorce that means getting fired, or being invited to resign. So I am fucked, and not in a good way.

Once in a while, when the planets align and all other factors are favourable, she lets me go down on her. However, it tends to be a bit of a one-sided arrangement. It really does not encourage one to work at things.

The only extra-curricular arrangement that might work would be an FWB situation with woman who has as many reasons to be discrete as I am - and I would not know where to start looking.
 
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Good to see a thread with people discussing unbalanced libido. I guess I'm lucky that I get sex twice a month or so, but still. And I keep getting hornier and hornier, and my thoughts keep getting kinkier and kinkier, as I get older.

I’m glad I found this forum as a great outlet for confessing some of my kinks. If anyone wanted to chat further specifically about mismatched libido, I’d be open to it.

We're pushing 50, been married about half that. Two kids sniffing adulthood.
 
My heart breaks for people in sexless marriages. ..And while it's easy for me to say, I don't quite understand it. To my thinking, a life without sex is like a life without laughter. ..Sure, you can live without either, but what kind of life is that??

As for staying together for the kids.... It's always been my observation that Kids prefer parents who are apart and happy to parents who are together and miserable. Kids clearly know that their parents no longer lover each other. You might not think so but they notice the absence of hugs, kisses, and smiles passed between mom and dad, and it pains them. ..And staying in such a marriage sets a bad example for your kids as to what they should expect of their own life and from their own marriage.

Again.. easy for me to say. I've been happily married to a beautiful and horny women for over 30 years. ..But I do have family and friends whose marriage did not work out and it seems clear to me that everyone is (eventually) happier if their parents divorce and pursue healthier relationships with other people.
 
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I think you have hot upon the reason Literotica and porn exist. Many people have more sex drive than they have opportunities to have sex. In particular this is true of many couples. Unless the relationship is founded on the basis of similar sex drives and desires, there is little reason to think they would just happen to be the same. And so you either have one partner who wants sex and doesn’t get it (not enough and/or the kind of sex they want) or you have one partner who is having sex more than they want and/or doing things they don’t really want to do. Some world, huh?
 
Sweet_N_Kinky_BBW said:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years and live together. Due to some health issues on his end, our sex life has become almost nonexistent. He’s working with his doctors so for now I just have to be patient…and I’m trying so fucking hard, but I feel like I’m slowly going insane.

I’ve always had a really high sex drive and as I get older (40 this year) it’s only getting stronger. Every day I find myself lost in fantasies that involve random people - strangers, coworkers, the You Tube guy from a show we watch, hot guy at the grocery store….I think about these sexy strangers/acquaintances taking me in various ways. I want it hard and rough, slow and passionate, and everything in between….toys, teasing, role playing, and LOTS of oral. What I wouldn’t give for a man who wants to devour my pussy….I get so turned on and have no outlet for sweet relief. I’m in horny hell and thinking about sex constantly!

I’m not sure why I felt the need to post this. Maybe to finally get it off my chest in some way. I’m distracted on a daily basis at home and at work, and it’s getting worse. I can’t talk to my friends as it’s way too personal. I’m not open to cheating or naughty chats (cyber has never been my thing, single or not). I guess sending my frustration out into the internet void is the best I can do at the moment.
Click to expand...
I feel so sorry for you but know where yiu are coming from. Ive not had any sexual activity for 4 months because of my spinal injury, even tho im as randy amd horny as fuck. I come here to fantasise and at least I can do manual release now that the catheter has come out. I am.still going insane tho as not had any physical sexual contact with my gf
 
LMWM321 said:
My heart breaks for people in sexless marriages. ..And while it's easy for me to say, I don't quite understand it. To my thinking, a life without sex is like a life without laughing. ..Sure, you can live without either, but what kind of life is that??

As for staying together for the kids.... It's always been my observations that Kids prefer parents who are apart and happy to parents who are together and not. Kids know that their parents no longer lover each other. You might not think so but they notice the absence of hugs, kisses, and smiles passed between mom and dad, and it pains them. ..And, it sets a bad example for your kids as to what they should expect of their own life and from their own marriage.

Again.. easy for me to say. I've been happily married to a beautiful and horny women for over 30 years. ..But I do have family and friends whose marriage did not work out and it seems clear to me that everyone is (eventually) happier if their parents divorce and pursue healthier relationships with other people.
Click to expand...
I agree with you. But there are myriad of circumstances. I'm in a sexless but very loving relationship. Emotionally connected. But hubby isn't able anymore. Occasionally as we're kissing, I still grab his cock, gently, & it gets a little rise out of him.
 
GoodnessO said:
I agree with you. But there are myriad of circumstances. I'm in a sexless but very loving relationship. Emotionally connected. But hubby isn't able anymore. Occasionally as we're kissing, I still grab his cock, gently, & it gets a little rise out of him.
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I totally respect the fact that you have been totally honest and open with him and due to his condition he understands your need to fulfil your urges, that doesn't negate your love for him...... plus he occasionally gets his cock grabbed now and again.
 
GoodnessO said:
I agree with you. But there are myriad of circumstances. I'm in a sexless but very loving relationship. Emotionally connected. But hubby isn't able anymore. Occasionally as we're kissing, I still grab his cock, gently, & it gets a little rise out of him.
Click to expand...
Totally understand and agree with you.... As I said, it's very easy for me to say what I would do...

But I will say that I'm pretty sure that if I was unable/intersted in having sex while my wife still craved it., I would encourage her to get it elsewhere. Why? Because I love her and want her to wring as much joy from her life as possible. To my thinking, that's what love is. ..No different than if I lost my ability to walk and was stuck in a wheel chair. I wouldn't expect my wife to give up walking and live out her life in a wheelchair as well. Again, that's what love is... as I see it, anyway.
 
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Sweet_N_Kinky_BBW said:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years and live together. Due to some health issues on his end, our sex life has become almost nonexistent. He’s working with his doctors so for now I just have to be patient…and I’m trying so fucking hard, but I feel like I’m slowly going insane.

I’ve always had a really high sex drive and as I get older (40 this year) it’s only getting stronger. Every day I find myself lost in fantasies that involve random people - strangers, coworkers, the You Tube guy from a show we watch, hot guy at the grocery store….I think about these sexy strangers/acquaintances taking me in various ways. I want it hard and rough, slow and passionate, and everything in between….toys, teasing, role playing, and LOTS of oral. What I wouldn’t give for a man who wants to devour my pussy….I get so turned on and have no outlet for sweet relief. I’m in horny hell and thinking about sex constantly!

I’m not sure why I felt the need to post this. Maybe to finally get it off my chest in some way. I’m distracted on a daily basis at home and at work, and it’s getting worse. I can’t talk to my friends as it’s way too personal. I’m not open to cheating or naughty chats (cyber has never been my thing, single or not). I guess sending my frustration out into the internet void is the best I can do at the moment.
Click to expand...
Manifesting satisfaction of sexual frustration always lead to interesting places. You must be very needy. 🔥
 
trevorness said:
Spending an enjoyable day celebrating an anniversary, but there is definitely no sex in the celebration.
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Somehow spending a long time chatting online with a girl in a cuck relationship, her enjoying some doing some dom and humiliation, while my wife naps on the patio. A sexy anniversary?
 
LMWM321 said:
Totally understand and agree with you.... As I said, it's very easy for me to say what I would do...

But I will say that I'm pretty sure that if I was unable/intersted in having sex while my wife still craved it., I would encourage her to get it elsewhere. Why? Because I love her and want her to wring as much joy from her life as possible. To my thinking, that's what love is. ..No different than if I lost my ability to walk and was stuck in a wheel chair. I wouldn't expect my wife to give up walking and live out her life in a wheelchair as well. Again, that's what love is... as I see it, anyway.
Click to expand...
Absolutely agree. I asked my husband to grant me open marriage. And he did. And I am walking again (ie: having extramarital sex).
 
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