What's Your Ideal Masturbation Ritual?

[SmokingFap]

Hi all. Been meaning to start this thread for a week, but I keep getting distracted. So, about half of this site is about masturbation. But I wanted to start a central repository for everyone's ideal rituals for getting themselves off. I don't mean when you just need to rub one out real quick, or when you've got some time but not the perfect situation. I mean, what all do you need or use when you've got all the private (or not so much) time you need, you're in your favorite spot, with all your favorite toys and supplies, all your favorite audio-visual aids, etc.? Your perfect masturbation situation.

Do tell!

 

[SmokingFap]

So, I'll try to jump start this. Ideally, I've got about three hours of time to myself at home, which is pretty common for me, but I know many others on here rarely get any quality time alone. I need my favorite lube. I enjoy myself more if I've got a nice buzz, and I prefer Jack and Coke. I generally have several of those during a session. Since my ideal sessions are always at night, I can just pass out after I blow my load. Obviously, I need plenty of cigarettes (don't judge, but I smoke more when I'm drunk and horny). I need internet access, so I can browse porn clips and chat with one or two perverted friends on here who are also masturbating, although if I get too involved in conversations, it's difficult to focus on my porn and my cock.

Given that all of these conditions are met, I always have a fabulously relaxing and ultimately explosive session of 2 to 3 hours. So, who else wants to share their ritual for maximum masturbation enjoyment?

 

[XXVIII]

Ideally I love to edge for 2-4 hours in the afternoon. I'll want to be completely naked or if it's cool, I'll have my bathrobe on. I'll wear a cock ring or have a plug in my ass if I'm in the mood. Will surf here on Lit or watch some porn while stroking. Would love to eventually cam, which is a super hot fantasy.

 

[Lucien_Al]

If I have a few hours of alone time I will typically pull on a pair of my panties, find a few pairs of her freshly worn panties, insert my anal toy and fire up the laptop.

Love to watch amateur porn, sometimes some live cameras with a panty theme and if I am lucky find a friend who is also playing.

I normally have enough precum to get going and then edge for a few hours while enjoying the scent from her panties.

When I get close to finishing I will lube up my Fleshlight and finish with some long slow strokes and at the same time licking and sucking her panties.

 

[subbyclarajane]

Oo, this one is fun. Okay, let's see. I have an actual in-the-room roommate and zero privacy since we both work from home, so I have to be discrete. (Yes, we do shower in front of each other but no sexy sexy time). For the past two months, my hips have been shifting and hurt like a bitch, so I've been sleeping in a recliner in the dark, covered in pillows. What. It's a thing. And I put a blanket on top of them, which creates this warm little open area downtown. I usually wear my Tokidoki or Hello Kitty short shorts and a hoodie. Once I hear snoring, I unzip my hoodie and play with my nipples for about ten minutes, touch my tummy, inside of my thighs...

PSA: Guys. Gentlemen. You have no idea how amazing estrogen is. Your whole body rewires for touch and emotion. You're not more emotional; you can just use your whole body to feel emotion and it's like seeing feelings in color for the first time. Touch, though? Touch is orgasmic. Orgasms are full body. Testosterone blows. I'm so, so sorry.

AAAAANYWAY - After my body is good and ready, I move the leg hole of my shorts to let my little lady breath, andO touch the c-spot under my clitstick, circling that and my nipple at the same time, thinking about fucking my girlfriend's ass with a cock in mine and another in my mouth and I usually cum in about 2 minutes, and if it was an estrogen day, I'll cum 2-3 more times after. There's no ejaculation shot anymore... It's just cum welling up and spilling out of my little hole and it fills my cupped palm. I used to try to lick my hand clean but with the pillow situation that's a no. So, now I just rub it into my thighs and shower it off in the morning.

 

[sister jenny]

It’s the middle of the night, the house is dark and quiet, all blinds and curtains open. I’m naked and in bed.
I smoke a joint first or do some bong hits.
Then, depending on mood, I use either fingers or a realistic dildo. I watch porn on my phone and have another joint going.
I usually cum a few times, not edging, I am way too impatient.

But I also love doing it in the shower. Same there, depending on mood, fingers, handle or dildo.

 

[jxp617]

Stream some porn on the living room TV while flipping through pictures or forums on my laptop. I'm wearing a pair of my string bikinis and that's it on my couch.

 

[slipprywenwet]

It’s the middle of the night, the house is dark and quiet, all blinds and curtains open. I’m naked and in bed.
I smoke a joint first or do some bong hits.
Then, depending on mood, I use either fingers or a realistic dildo. I watch porn on my phone and have another joint going.
I usually cum a few times, not edging, I am way too impatient.

But I also love doing it in the shower. Same there, depending on mood, fingers, handle or dildo.

Ah, yeah... smoke a joint, kick back and go to town. Not much for edging either - what's the point when I could be floating in space having a good hard cum.

 

[Veronica_Flora]

House all to myself. Spend a couple hours cleaning up. Make the place spotless. Work up a little sweat. Take an edible. Take a long hot shower. Let it kick in while I shower.

Get out. Dry off and lay on my bed read something on here. Think about past sexual encounters and gently rub myself. My hips and ass. My pussy. And then when I can’t take it anymore I make myself cum. Then take a nap.

 

[ClockworkFox]

So, I'll try to jump start this. Ideally, I've got about three hours of time to myself at home, which is pretty common for me, but I know many others on here rarely get any quality time alone. I need my favorite lube. I enjoy myself more if I've got a nice buzz, and I prefer Jack and Coke. I generally have several of those during a session. Since my ideal sessions are always at night, I can just pass out after I blow my load. Obviously, I need plenty of cigarettes (don't judge, but I smoke more when I'm drunk and horny). I need internet access, so I can browse porn clips and chat with one or two perverted friends on here who are also masturbating, although if I get too involved in conversations, it's difficult to focus on my porn and my cock.

Given that all of these conditions are met, I always have a fabulously relaxing and ultimately explosive session of 2 to 3 hours. So, who else wants to share their ritual for maximum masturbation enjoyment?

Two to three hours? Plus Jack and Cock, cigs and chat? Do you have a second pair of hands?

 

[ClockworkFox]

Several glasses of Jack and Stroke, then, are part of the plan to "focus on my porn and my cock". I suggest you add a few more glasses with each sesh. This will not help you focus on your porn and your cock, and will in fact make them more blurred as the Jack kicks in, but the resultant double vision it will eventually bring about will ratchet up your excitement big league because suddenly you will be seeing two hands stroking two cocks. Simple.

And, to open the sluice gates like never before, you also have the old trick of sitting on the operational hand for about ten minutes first, until it sheds all feeling, becomes totally numb, and you have the sensation that it's someone else's hand. Finally, if you do all this in front of a mirror, four hands and four cocks, with your eyes flitting between them all, hey presto, you have yourself a home-made mini hand-job orgy extravaganza.

 

[Oniafox]

Normally a quickie before sleeping. But a long ritual if I’m away alone

 

[SmokingFap]

Two to three hours? Plus Jack and Cock, cigs and chat? Do you have a second pair of hands?

I juggle small objects, too! But if I had an extra set of hands, I would definitely be fucking my ass with a big dildo while I was doing everything else.

 

[SmokingFap]

I made a deal with my wife that I would not masturbate unless she gave me her permission and that she would masturbate with me once a week. Now we stay in bed one morning a week and tell each other the nastiest fantasies we can imagine in order to make each other come. I have discovered that she is a very naughty lady. Now I fantasize about fantasies.

That's fantastic! Mutual masturbation is amazing. I think it's even more intimate than regular sex, because people are usually even more shy about masturbating in front of someone else. That also sounds like a great way to find out your gals most intimate thoughts. Win-win all around!

 

[SmokingFap]

House all to myself. Spend a couple hours cleaning up. Make the place spotless. Work up a little sweat. Take an edible. Take a long hot shower. Let it kick in while I shower.

Get out. Dry off and lay on my bed read something on here. Think about past sexual encounters and gently rub myself. My hips and ass. My pussy. And then when I can’t take it anymore I make myself cum. Then take a nap.

A perfect ritual! Including the nap!

 

[SmokingFap]

Oo, this one is fun. Okay, let's see. I have an actual in-the-room roommate and zero privacy since we both work from home, so I have to be discrete. (Yes, we do shower in front of each other but no sexy sexy time). For the past two months, my hips have been shifting and hurt like a bitch, so I've been sleeping in a recliner in the dark, covered in pillows. What. It's a thing. And I put a blanket on top of them, which creates this warm little open area downtown. I usually wear my Tokidoki or Hello Kitty short shorts and a hoodie. Once I hear snoring, I unzip my hoodie and play with my nipples for about ten minutes, touch my tummy, inside of my thighs...

PSA: Guys. Gentlemen. You have no idea how amazing estrogen is. Your whole body rewires for touch and emotion. You're not more emotional; you can just use your whole body to feel emotion and it's like seeing feelings in color for the first time. Touch, though? Touch is orgasmic. Orgasms are full body. Testosterone blows. I'm so, so sorry.

AAAAANYWAY - After my body is good and ready, I move the leg hole of my shorts to let my little lady breath, andO touch the c-spot under my clitstick, circling that and my nipple at the same time, thinking about fucking my girlfriend's ass with a cock in mine and another in my mouth and I usually cum in about 2 minutes, and if it was an estrogen day, I'll cum 2-3 more times after. There's no ejaculation shot anymore... It's just cum welling up and spilling out of my little hole and it fills my cupped palm. I used to try to lick my hand clean but with the pillow situation that's a no. So, now I just rub it into my thighs and shower it off in the morning.

That sounds fabulous! I would imagine you always have a nice long session planned on every estrogen day. Love the idea of your cum just dribbling out.

 

[SmokingFap]

Yes, you cannot believe the things we have learned about each other. She is so much more kinky than I am.

Now THAT'S shocking. It's usually the other way around. I'm always reading stories about guys working up the nerve to share their perversions with their wife or girlfriend. It's rarely the other way around. So, good for you!

 

[subbyclarajane]

That sounds fabulous! I would imagine you always have a nice long session planned on every estrogen day. Love the idea of your cum just dribbling out.

Yeah well… now I’ve started just… leaking precum for no reason on injection days, which are twice a week. Time to buy panties I guess. Ugh. I fucking HATE underwear.

 

[SmokingFap]

Yeah well… now I’ve started just… leaking precum for no reason on injection days, which are twice a week. Time to buy panties I guess. Ugh. I fucking HATE underwear.

I understand. But it seems to me that constantly leaking jizz is a more-than-fair trade-off for having to wear panties.

 

[UKSilverFox]

I like to build up throughout the day and take every opportunity to touch myself under my clothes. I will apply some lubes or oils to my cock and balls so that when do run my fingers over my sensitive areas, at any time on a whim, I feel smooth and get maximum contact and pleasure. When it approaches the right time in the evening I start to make my way out onto one of several balconies at various levels to the rear of my house, these face the countryside beyond a main road which runs some 50 feet below. This is when I start to take off my clothes, rain, heat, dry or cold whatever the weather. I know that nobody can see me, unless there have some very good binoculars, but the feeling of freedom and perception of risk is so sexy. I can see lots of people passing in cars and I would be ashamed if anyone saw me, I am not body confident, but the freedom I feel really sets me up for whatever I decide to do next.

 

[SPARTAN047]

It used to be while thinking about domination and face sitting, preferably with a nice fat ass covering my face with those sexy big ass cheeks.

Now I think of the same or similar things while my clitty is locked up tightly in chastity and I'm rubbing the hard plastic of my cage wishing I could touch it directly but can't. I dream of being cruelly dominated in chastity and used, or at least by a very loving but maybe a mean and selfish Domme at times who can do it right, without completely disregarding my feelings and going too far. When I need it, she can still be empathetic, gentle and loving.

 

[cdstefi]

I like to get dressed fully in lingerie (preferably a new set so I have the novelty and erotic charge of new colours/fabric), then spend a while just looking at myself in the mirror from a variety of angles, take some selfies and do quick edits, all the while getting myself more aroused.

Once I'm excited I like to have a think about toys. If I need really hard sensations and have had time to douche and prep beforehand (pretty arousing in itself) then I might tie my wife's Feeldoe around two or three pillows with a belt, so the shaft is pointing up and ready for me to ride it. Otherwise maybe a smaller ass toy, lying on my side or back.

I'll usually spend a while going through xhamster seeing what the algorithm serves up (can be pretty random as I have all sorts of tastes including straight couple sex, BDSM, ffm, mmf, FF, mm, voyeur/exhib ...), or sometimes I'll watch vids of my wife and me or the odd one of guys I've met with me.

I'll usually finish by ejaculating on myself, and if I have time to recover I'll keep the wet panties on and get myself hard with my own semen slicking them to my cock.

 

[SmokingFap]

I like to get dressed fully in lingerie (preferably a new set so I have the novelty and erotic charge of new colours/fabric), then spend a while just looking at myself in the mirror from a variety of angles, take some selfies and do quick edits, all the while getting myself more aroused.

Once I'm excited I like to have a think about toys. If I need really hard sensations and have had time to douche and prep beforehand (pretty arousing in itself) then I might tie my wife's Feeldoe around two or three pillows with a belt, so the shaft is pointing up and ready for me to ride it. Otherwise maybe a smaller ass toy, lying on my side or back.

I'll usually spend a while going through xhamster seeing what the algorithm serves up (can be pretty random as I have all sorts of tastes including straight couple sex, BDSM, ffm, mmf, FF, mm, voyeur/exhib ...), or sometimes I'll watch vids of my wife and me or the odd one of guys I've met with me.

I'll usually finish by ejaculating on myself, and if I have time to recover I'll keep the wet panties on and get myself hard with my own semen slicking them to my cock.

Got me oozing just reading that! I love that you have such a wide variety of interests. And I bet those home movies are amazing.

 

[CalzedoniaWolfordFalke]

My ideal scenario is either with an empty house or a hotel room and this is how I do it, and have done it on countless occasions....
Firstly, tights (or pantyhose for our US friends) on, preferably cheap ones that I can cum on or in.
Check I have plenty of cigarettes if I am home.
Then fire up the laptop and open all of the sites I will need. One will be a porn channel, the rest are webcam sites, usually three or four - a UK swingers site, a German/European site, ********** and a random webcam chat site.
Make sure I have plenty of Liquid Silk lube and my cock-ring to hand. I am about to edge for at least two hours, sometimes longer.
The main aim is to find a willing female participant for some mutual webcam action and eventually blow one of my massive loads over myself. I cum a lot, often up to ten or eleven spurts, and after edging for this long, I can pretty much guarantee a huge load.
On rare occasions, I get to wear my male bodystocking with cock-sheath and take it up one or two notches. I don't mind a male audience but will never play specifically with a male alone.

 

[Prettylittle999]

...