A beginners guide for contacting women

[Meekly_Anna]

I thought for a while about whether I should broach the subject, but my daily experience has shown me that there is a great need:
How do I approach a woman I'm interested in, and how do I do it without spoiling her interest in me with glorious opportunity?
It's not that difficult. Don't worry, we'll give you some examples.

Firstly, the salutation. It doesn't actually contain any useful information other than: look, you're so important to me that I took three seconds to address you.
The salutation doesn't have to be formal. A "Hi Anna" is perfectly adequate. "Dear Ms Anna" would be an exaggeration. "Sub sexy" can be sufficient under certain circumstances, but then an explanatory text should follow. As the only content, this is completely inadequate. The person you are addressing has no idea what you actually want.


The salutation is followed by a brief explanation of why you are actually making contact. "Seen your profile pic and creamed my pants twice already" may be true, but only arouses interest under very specific circumstances. It is better to point out common interests or even show that you can complement each other well. Here too: Be careful! You should stick to the truth, but not be too brief and, above all, not be overbearing. The vast majority of women want to have control over the extent to which they reveal things or allow others into their private sphere. "I'm Dom, doo what I say, or else. Skype?" probably won't work. Perhaps combine the whole thing with a short introduction. It could look like this: "I'm a forty years old father of two, widower and I have a Dom kink. I would be delighted to explore the sub kink I felt in you while reading your story. Do you want to chat with me?" Stuff like that will almost certainly get you at least a polite rejection.
The ladies reading along now have a few examples from practice, as they occur here several times a day and the appropriate reaction to them. I'll leave it at this point as the topic can be very tiring. All the names used here are the product of my imagination. If you actually use them, I am extremely sorry and it is not my intention. I apologise as a precaution.


Cockslinger69: wanna chat
Anna: No thank you sweety, I've just done my hair.

BiCuriousDom: hru doll
Anna: Ah dinnae ken, is it ye?
When Ah staun naked an' wiggle ma wee arse, maist fowk want tae fuck me. Whit aboot ye? Are ye successful wi' twa words?

AlphaBreederBBC: What's up?
Anna: Hi Aunt Beep! I don't know, shouldn't you tell me?

LoveMaster: Ciao Bella, wanna chat?
Anna: Ciao amore mio
No, grazie, non oggi.

A note on the last entry: only use the foreign language if you know it.

CUM GRANO SALIS

And try not to kill me now.

 

[NaughtyPine]

Thanks for posting this though I wonder if those who need to see it the most will either read it or understand it.

I approach women here like I would in IRL. I introduce myself and say what it is about them as a person that interests me. Just because women are hanging out here doesn't mean they have stopped being people.

There seem to be a lot of guys here who don't understand the difference between pick up lines and flirting. Which leaves lot's of opportunities for those of us who do to impress.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

I had promised examples, which now follow here. First, I'll show you how not to do it and then give you an example of how you could do it.

12inch_shlong: I will fuck your arse until u puke cum!
(Sends dickpic)
Anna: I'm impressed. 12 inches! You are huge! It's big enough that you can bend forward and blow yourself while wanking easily. Why don't you just do that, then?
(Blocks user)

Despite the fact that the sentence is at least complete - let's ignore the spelling - this example makes some obvious mistakes for the outside observer.
Firstly, you shouldn't start a conversation with a threat. I have already shown you how to start a conversation.
Then it is usually undesirable to send a picture of your own genitals without being asked. Of course, there are people who enjoy looking at them. But the attentive writer should first make sure that the recipients also want this.
Let us consider a more appropriate approach.

12inch_shlong: Dear Anna, I'm a well equipped man in the middle of my twenties. You probably guessed the size already. I love showing off and dream of forcefully penetrating women. You seem to be willing and submissive. Would you like to explore this with me? I'm more than willing to show you pictures of me and would delighted if you return the favour.
Anna: Dear Shlong, thank you very much for the kind offer. Let me start with the fact that I really like to be ravaged, but sadly I'm way too small for you. Even an average one, which is way below your dimensions!, is painful for me if I don't get the time to adapt. As fascinated as I am, I must decline. I know that there are many women out there who's would love to be contacted by you and love to exchange pictures. I will make sure to send those I find in your direction.

Tina_2Ds: Hey fucktoy, wanna have a good time?
Anna: May, yes, of course. But what does that have to do with you?

In the example above, a lot has already been done correctly. Tina has chosen a form of address and described what she is talking about. However, there is still room for improvement.

Tina_2Ds: Hello Anna, I'm a lesbian and I live with my wife. Our problem is that we are both very dominant. We can't live that out together. From your stories and your username, I can see that you at least have a submissive side. Are you interested in women, or do you like men? If it can also be women, we would be very happy to hear from you.
Anna: Dear Tina, thank you very much for your interest in my stories. Yes, I also like women. I can be very dominant and I really enjoy that, but most of the time I'm submissive and obedient. What are you two up to?

BBC_Mastercock: yo bitch, breeding time!
Anna: Good to hear that you have a good time at the chicken pen. I'm so intrigued, tell me more
(Blocks user)

Some things have been done right here too. Nevertheless, many women will find it a little too direct.

BBC_Mastercock: Hi Anna, my name is Francis. As you have probably guessed already, I'm a black man with a breeding fetish. Have you ever had sex with a person of colour? Or is that a no go for you? I'm just asking because some people have racial prejudice. I like your stories and love your mean humour.
Anna: Dear Francis, as you've seen on my pic for sure I'm white. Therefore a lot of people assume that I have prejudices. I'm not sure about it but I try not to have them and if I have overcome them. Actually, I had a crush on a guy from Africa, but I found out that he's queer. That was a little bit awkward. However, if you want to exchange ideas and some sexting if we find that we like each other, sure, I would like that.

As you can see, a polite approach is very much appreciated. And as soon as the stakes are set one can be as rough, gentle, dominant, submissive, or whatever your kink is, be within these stakes.
Provided all participants agree.

 

[magic_rat]

You see this a lot on Fabswingers. Guys send out dumb one-liners expecting them to make a woman swoon and drop her knickers. Dumb.

I don't message women on here. I rarely message anyone unless either they contact me first or a post piques my interest and I want to discuss something in more depth.

My advice to guys on fab (I've always been quite successful and I get asked what my secret is) is get to know the person you want to contact. Read their profile. Twice. Be polite. Tailor your message to that person (no cut and paste bullshit, women can spot that a mile off) and reference things in their profile that you have in common.

It's really just simple common sense but a lot of guys are just too dumb to comprehend it.

Sadly they're also the ones who, when rejected, reply with stuff like "I wouldn't fuck you anyway you fat whore".

Guys, that kind of behaviour will never get you laid.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

A big yes to all the above. Most men who message me don't get a reply because why should I communicate with idiots?

The ones who get a response from me are usually intelligent and articulate and in complete sentences, maybe even paragraphs, and show me that the guy has something interesting to say. Or will make an observation about a post of mine and want to open a discussion.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Gents, I see a pattern here. Do you as well?
In opposition to Hollywood (or porn) nice guys get laid.
Touching a woman (or man, depends on your preferences) at their elbow will surprisingly often not lead to "Oh breed me! You godlike fucker!" but "Excuse me? Would you please not touch me? Ever again?".
Why should it be different in here?

 

[Bi4Older84]

But it's so hard to treat a woman like a complete and wholly realized human being who deserves respect and decency...why can't they just act like the wet fuck holes we want them to be?!?!

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Because a fuck hole will not drag you home at your ear when you dead drunk pissed yourself in front of all the visitors of the local bar again.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Oh sorry to disturb again. Girls, I came up with a new one.

Dear sender,
This is an automatic reply. The recipient of your message is currently busy working on a cunning reply for wankers. As soon as she's done you will receive your copy.

 

[Spanky1372]

Oh sorry to disturb again. Girls, I came up with a new one.

Dear sender,
This is an automatic reply. The recipient of your message is currently busy working on a cunning reply for wankers. As soon as she's done you will receive your copy.

Still waiting....

 

[drobert44]

You see this a lot on Fabswingers. Guys send out dumb one-liners expecting them to make a woman swoon and drop her knickers. Dumb.

I don't message women on here. I rarely message anyone unless either they contact me first or a post piques my interest and I want to discuss something in more depth.

My advice to guys on fab (I've always been quite successful and I get asked what my secret is) is get to know the person you want to contact. Read their profile. Twice. Be polite. Tailor your message to that person (no cut and paste bullshit, women can spot that a mile off) and reference things in their profile that you have in common.

It's really just simple common sense but a lot of guys are just too dumb to comprehend it.

Sadly they're also the ones who, when rejected, reply with stuff like "I wouldn't fuck you anyway you fat whore".

Guys, that kind of behaviour will never get you laid.

I cant imagine talking to a woman like that.......

 

[magic_rat]

I cant imagine talking to a woman like that.......

That's because you're not an arsehole.

 

[drobert44]

That's because you're not an arsehole.

I am so old I actually have manners....

 

[magic_rat]

Likewise. Thats why young women love us old fuckers.

 

[drobert44]

Likewise. Thats why young women love us old fuckers.

We dont fuck up, dont get drunk, get into a fight, get lost, insult anyone, generous with $, willing to travel. 'I have taken 4 women to Europe.......

 

[magic_rat]

I have taken 4 women to Europe.......

I take them to paradise.

More fun and the flights are free.

 

[drobert44]

I take them to paradise.

More fun and the flights are free.

Lmao

 

[drobert44]

U date a dame here; now she owns you; they play for keeps

 

[BookishBabe0]

The men who need this advice don't gaf. There are, fortunately, a few good men on here.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Here's another one to mark the occasion.
Gayman: Hi Anna, I'm a blueberry but you made me want to pork you!
Anna: Oh, really? You are the first I know having a kink about being a plant. But I'm sorry, I don't want to be a part of a swine despite the fact that their orgasms last for thirty minutes.

Gentlemen! No matter how well your dialect and slang is understood in your subculture, please keep in mind that not everyone will understand you. Here are people from all over the world. Please try speaking English.
Now let's see how Gayman could fared better.

Gayman: Hi Anna,
I am a homosexual man, and yet your story has made it so that I might be tempted to have relations with a woman under certain circumstances.
Would you be willing to meet?
Anna: Dear Gayman, I am very pleased that you like my story so much. I am honoured by your offer. However, I'm afraid I have to decline. I'm not here to date other people. Is there anything else you'd like to talk to me about? What did you particularly like about my story?

And with that our heroine had a long and fruitful discussion about blowjobs with a specialist.

 

[sexymanfun]

I had promised examples, which now follow here. First, I'll show you how not to do it and then give you an example of how you could do it.

12inch_shlong: I will fuck your arse until u puke cum!
(Sends dickpic)
Anna: I'm impressed. 12 inches! You are huge! It's big enough that you can bend forward and blow yourself while wanking easily. Why don't you just do that, then?
(Blocks user)

Despite the fact that the sentence is at least complete - let's ignore the spelling - this example makes some obvious mistakes for the outside observer.
Firstly, you shouldn't start a conversation with a threat. I have already shown you how to start a conversation.
Then it is usually undesirable to send a picture of your own genitals without being asked. Of course, there are people who enjoy looking at them. But the attentive writer should first make sure that the recipients also want this.
Let us consider a more appropriate approach.

12inch_shlong: Dear Anna, I'm a well equipped man in the middle of my twenties. You probably guessed the size already. I love showing off and dream of forcefully penetrating women. You seem to be willing and submissive. Would you like to explore this with me? I'm more than willing to show you pictures of me and would delighted if you return the favour.
Anna: Dear Shlong, thank you very much for the kind offer. Let me start with the fact that I really like to be ravaged, but sadly I'm way too small for you. Even an average one, which is way below your dimensions!, is painful for me if I don't get the time to adapt. As fascinated as I am, I must decline. I know that there are many women out there who's would love to be contacted by you and love to exchange pictures. I will make sure to send those I find in your direction.

Tina_2Ds: Hey fucktoy, wanna have a good time?
Anna: May, yes, of course. But what does that have to do with you?

In the example above, a lot has already been done correctly. Tina has chosen a form of address and described what she is talking about. However, there is still room for improvement.

Tina_2Ds: Hello Anna, I'm a lesbian and I live with my wife. Our problem is that we are both very dominant. We can't live that out together. From your stories and your username, I can see that you at least have a submissive side. Are you interested in women, or do you like men? If it can also be women, we would be very happy to hear from you.
Anna: Dear Tina, thank you very much for your interest in my stories. Yes, I also like women. I can be very dominant and I really enjoy that, but most of the time I'm submissive and obedient. What are you two up to?

BBC_Mastercock: yo bitch, breeding time!
Anna: Good to hear that you have a good time at the chicken pen. I'm so intrigued, tell me more
(Blocks user)

Some things have been done right here too. Nevertheless, many women will find it a little too direct.

BBC_Mastercock: Hi Anna, my name is Francis. As you have probably guessed already, I'm a black man with a breeding fetish. Have you ever had sex with a person of colour? Or is that a no go for you? I'm just asking because some people have racial prejudice. I like your stories and love your mean humour.
Anna: Dear Francis, as you've seen on my pic for sure I'm white. Therefore a lot of people assume that I have prejudices. I'm not sure about it but I try not to have them and if I have overcome them. Actually, I had a crush on a guy from Africa, but I found out that he's queer. That was a little bit awkward. However, if you want to exchange ideas and some sexting if we find that we like each other, sure, I would like that.

As you can see, a polite approach is very much appreciated. And as soon as the stakes are set one can be as rough, gentle, dominant, submissive, or whatever your kink is, be within these stakes.
Provided all participants agree.

If thirsty dullards aren't taking notes, I can't help but think at least there's a GPT model out there learning from this

 

[keenreplayer]

Brilliant Thread!

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Brilliant Thread!

Thank you!

 

[velona]

Thank you for writing this! I’ve been reading on literotica for 20+ years but never made an account. Been spending more time on the site lately because reasons and finally made an account to better track and organize the stories I’d like to come back to. I was not prepared for the number of “wanna chat?” messages! No idea if it is just rude to ignore but also don’t feel the desire to engage with that kind of outreach.

Also, not sure if this is an ok place to ask, but is there an easy way to see what stories someone has favorited from their username link in a conversation? I click and it shows profiles but not favorites/lists. Maybe I’m just not good at navigating this site yet..

 

[PennyThompson]

is there an easy way to see what stories someone has favorited from their username link in a conversation? I click and it shows profiles but not favorites/lists. Maybe I’m just not good at navigating this site yet..

Only if somebody includes a link back to their Literotica reader/author profile, which is separate from their forum profile

You can also copy their user name out of the forum or message, and paste it into the member search on the Lit side, that usually works! Just an annoying few steps.