Coming before you, hat in hand

[StillStunned]

A bit ago I joked that I should write a story in SF&F that was more Dungeons & Dragons than the grimdark sci-fi or sword & sorcery that's my usual fare. The way my mind works, within moments I had an idea for a story. I started writing. Now I'm stuck.

The setup is simple. A party of a female tiefling rogue, a male human paladin, a female elf sorcerer and a male dwarf fighter venture into a dungeon to bring back the head of a goblin chieftain for the bounty. Sexual tension between the rogue and the paladin, between the rogue and the sorcerer, and between the sorcerer and the fighter. Pretty standard stuff.

Now I'm 3700 words in, trying to avoid making it too grim and gritty, and I'm finding that I can either do D&D fiction, or erotic fiction. I just can't seem to think of any plausible storyline where any of the characters would end up having rumpy-pumpy in the middle of an adventure. And no, I don't want to go the Goblin Slayer route of being captured and raped, or nearly raped and rescued.

The backstory so far: the POV character is the tiefling. She had a sexual encounter with the sorcerer before the story begins. She dislikes the paladin. The paladin calls her a demon. The sorcerer is the party's leader. The fighter is tired of everyone's bickering and just wants to kill goblins.

And you know what the worst part is? I thought that D&D erotica would be the easiest thing ever.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

A bit ago I joked that I should write a story in SF&F that was more Dungeons & Dragons than the grimdark sci-fi or sword & sorcery that's my usual fare. The way my mind works, within moments I had an idea for a story. I started writing. Now I'm stuck.

The setup is simple. A party of a female tiefling rogue, a male human paladin, a female elf sorcerer and a male dwarf fighter venture into a dungeon to bring back the head of a goblin chieftain for the bounty. Sexual tension between the rogue and the paladin, between the rogue and the sorcerer, and between the sorcerer and the fighter. Pretty standard stuff.

Now I'm 3700 words in, trying to avoid making it too grim and gritty, and I'm finding that I can either do D&D fiction, or erotic fiction. I just can't seem to think of any plausible storyline where any of the characters would end up having rumpy-pumpy in the middle of an adventure. And no, I don't want to go the Goblin Slayer route of being captured and raped, or nearly raped and rescued.

The backstory so far: the POV character is the tiefling. She had a sexual encounter with the sorcerer before the story begins. She dislikes the paladin. The paladin calls her a demon. The sorcerer is the party's leader. The fighter is tired of everyone's bickering and just wants to kill goblins.

And you know what the worst part is? I thought that D&D erotica would be the easiest thing ever.

A party of 3 melee and one ranged? Paladin healer on top of it?


What a noob.

 

[THBGato]

I'm finding that I can either do D&D fiction, or erotic fiction.

I'm reading this excellent story by @TheNyxianLily called Blood & Chlorophyll. I think it's up to Chapter 10, and so far all the leads have done is kissed. It's in SF&F and every chapter is rated hot.

I don't think readers there mind if there's a lack of sex. So do which one you want to do, but don't worry if you can't do both.

 

[StillStunned]

A party of 3 melee and one ranged? Paladin healer on top of it?


What a noob.

I've played D&D in various forms for nearly 40 years, and never once has any of my groups cared about balanced party composition. Also: healing potions.

 

[StillStunned]

I'm reading this excellent story by @TheNyxianLily called Blood & Chlorophyll. I think it's up to Chapter 10, and so far all the leads have done is kissed. It's in SF&F and every chapter is rated hot.

I don't think readers there mind if there's a lack of sex. So do which one you want to do, but don't worry if you can't do both.

But then what about the title?! "Dungeon of Desire" (or, as per my wife's suggestion, "Dungeon of Dick").

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Especially considering a tieflings acceptance of moral ambiguity, I think the angst between her and the Paladin gives you a lot of potential for sexual tension. Maybe she's a deliberate flirt just to get under his skin, and he's just impure enough to watch when she bathes.
Throw in the history with the sorcerer, and you have some potential jealousy, too. As for the dwarf, I'm not sure what you do with him.
Another option might be to steal from Canterbury and have them tell dirty stories around the campfire at night.

Just please, please, please, don't do it in second person.

 

[StillStunned]

Especially considering a tieflings acceptance of moral ambiguity, I think the angst between her and the Paladin gives you a lot of potential for sexual tension. Maybe she's a deliberate flirt just to get under his skin, and he's just impure enough to watch when she bathes.

“Fuck you!” Xunaxa felt anger boil up inside her. “Who are you calling a demon?”

“You have horns.” The look he gave her was full of disdain and distaste. “Your eyes are slitted. Your tongue–”

“Ah, now we’re getting to it! Been fantasising about my tongue, have you? Never encountered anything like that in your precious Temple, have you?” She let her tongue slither out, then licked her lips suggestively.

Throw in the history with the sorcerer, and you have some potential jealousy, too. As for the dwarf, I'm not sure what you do with him.
Another option might be to steal from Canterbury and have them tell dirty stories around the campfire at night.

You know, I could make that work.

Just please, please, please, don't do it in second person.

I'm beginning to feel like Angus the Goat...

 

[Bramblethorn]

I've played D&D in various forms for nearly 40 years, and never once has any of my groups cared about balanced party composition. Also: healing potions.

A good GM will design adventures around the party's capabilities. Plus, 5E makes it easier to get by without a dedicated healer.

Some possible scenarios:

"I just learned a new spell. I want to try out some of the non-combat applications but I'm going to need an assistant..."
"Big battle is tomorrow, we're all doomed, might as well make our last night something to remember."
"I just translated the instructions for opening the magic door, and you're never going to believe this..."
"The only way to resist the succubus' powers of attraction is by being sexually exhausted when you fight it."
"You gotta stop letting them grapple you like that. Here, we're going to practice holds and escapes. Let's suppose I have my arm around you like so..."
"She was amazed to discover that when he was calling her 'filthy Abyss-spawn', what he meant was 'the way your tail wriggles gives me unpaladinly thoughts'." [edit: ah, I see you've already hit that one]

 

[Omenainen]

A bit ago I joked that I should write a story in SF&F that was more Dungeons & Dragons than the grimdark sci-fi or sword & sorcery that's my usual fare. The way my mind works, within moments I had an idea for a story. I started writing. Now I'm stuck.

You could check out AMD’s Terrible Company for inspiration and chapter 12 for hottest orc sex in living memory

 

[StillStunned]

"I just translated the instructions for opening the magic door, and you're never going to believe this..."

"It says 'Use cucumber, and enter'.
"'Cucumber'? Are you sure? Not 'melon'?
"Nope, it's a cucumber."

 

[Otto26]

Are you writing LitRPG or are you trying to capture the idea of a group of gamers? One of my works in progress is full of table dialog uttered by the characters and both mocks and pays homage to the genre. I'm assuming you're playing it straight LitRPG. But if you aren't then you can introduce table dynamics between the players into the mix. E.G. The tiefling hates the paladin but the tiefling player is dating the paladin player.

-If you're playing it straight then:
-The sorcerer regrets sleeping with the rogue because a good leader shouldn't sleep with subordinates. The paladin grew up in a monastery and never got past kindergarten interactions with girls and has no idea how to tell the tiefling he has wet dreams about her. The rogue really enjoyed her liaison with the sorcerer and would like to pursue that relationship. The dwarf is a sex addict who channels his addiction into rage that he vents upon foes. The sorcerer and tiefling find a private spot to talk, for different reasons, and end up having sex while the dwarf not-as-surreptitiously-as-he-thinks watches them and masturbates. The tiefling is intrigued by the dwarf, who she saw watching them, and decides to try him out and gets a lot more than she bargained for. The sorcerer is upset by this and leans on the paladin for support and he confesses his desires to her and she hatches a plan to hook the rogue up with the paladin by making her jealous by staging a sexual encounter with the paladin which the rogue will observe. The rogue sees this and it makes her want the sorcerer even more. The party continues in sullen silence until the dwarf blows up at them and points out that the rogue wants the sorcerer who wants the paladin who wants the rogue and the dwarf just wants to fuck all of them. Orgy ensues, goblins come upon the group in flagrante delicto and the party, enraged at this interruption, slays the goblins and gets back to what's important.
-The rogue is wondering why they slept with the sorcerer, unaware that the sorcerer used a love potion. The paladin is convinced the tiefling is an agent of evil and can't understand why no one else sees it. The dwarf is a polymorphed dragon who has no social skills and is only good at fighting and is looking for the 'cure' which will turn him back into a dragon. Out in the wilderness the sorcerer decides she wants some more tiefling tail and drugs the tiefling but before she can take advantage of this the paladin stumbles on the tiefling who jumps his bones hard. The sorcerer and the dwarf watch from the sidelines. The paladin and tiefling become very awkward around each other and finally talk things out and figure out the tiefling was drugged. They plot revenge on the sorcerer by stealing her potion and drugging her and the dwarf. The two get together and get it on while the other two watch from the sideline and gradually start to have sex with each other. The goblins appear and the sorcerer attempts to smite them and it all goes wrong. Wild magic frees the dragon from the polymorph spell and it eats the goblins. The tiefling is upset because without a goblin head there's no bounty, the paladin is considering giving up holy orders to be with the tiefling, and the sorcerer and the dragon, still drugged, are looking for a little privacy to finish what they started.

 

[Bramblethorn]

A bit ago I joked that I should write a story in SF&F that was more Dungeons & Dragons than the grimdark sci-fi or sword & sorcery that's my usual fare. The way my mind works, within moments I had an idea for a story. I started writing. Now I'm stuck.

The setup is simple. A party of a female tiefling rogue, a male human paladin, a female elf sorcerer and a male dwarf fighter venture into a dungeon to bring back the head of a goblin chieftain for the bounty.

The party have been placed under a geas to carry out this mission. Only, when they get there, they find that the goblins are actually nice chaps who are just misunderstood. They are torn between killing innocents and suffering a terrible punishment for breaking the geas, until the sorcerer realises that "get head from goblin chieftain" can be interpreted creatively.

 

[Deadbed1968]

Check out the Deities and Demigods book. There are some hot entries that could be the basis for an erotic adventure.

 

[AwkwardMD]

Terrible Company, at least to start, follows a bit closer to Terry Pratchett's style until you get to chapter 4 when I found my own voice.

 

[NoTalentHack]

Cursed item
Pheromone trap
Mischievous shapeshifters
Drunken revelry
“I need to dress your wounds”
Mass charm gone wrong

 

[MillieDynamite]

Please, @StillStunned, I have no desire to see you cum, before me, to the side of me, near me, in your hat, or elsewhere!

 

[Blind_Justice]

Most of my fantasy stories are D&D influenced. The trick to mixing sex and adventure is USE COMMON SENSE! Most adventures involve an ungodly amount of traveling - to and/or away from the adventuring place (dungeons, monster-infested villages, whatever). Spice up the walking with flirting, groping and bickering. Camp sites and inns are fantastic places to hook up - and one of the oldest tropes in my book is the "yeah, we're naked and about to get it on -> OH SHIT MONSTER ATTACK" coitus interruptus. It all depends on how tolerant the rest of the party is with some of their number shagging each other "on the job". Also, healing magic, especially LAY ON HANDS can be a very easy pretext to a) get someone naked or b) escalate into some tenderness.

"Leo and the Dragon"/"Shilana's Trial"/"The Temptation Of Gheeran" and "Tear's Desire" are, in essence, R.A. Salvatore fanfic in my homebrew campaign world. I tried to mix sex and adventure without resorting to porn logic.

The rest of my fantasy stuff tends to veer into pretty bleak territory.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Grosse’s "Lewd Dungeon" (Kindle Unlimited) has many tricks, traps, torments, teases, titillations,etc in a d&d-esque dungeon. System-apocalypse setting on modern day Earth. Very noncon, tho’ so fair warning. @NoTalentHack ’s list does cover a lot of it at a 10,000’ level, but add in ‘lewd’ monsters, impregnating slimes & plants, magical crossbreeding, demons real and alleged, and the use and abuse of magically enforced contracts, plus many more perverse ‘pleasures’

It /might/ be easier to take it in sections. (Sexions?) Sexy fun, combat, tension building, etc.

 

[Britva415]

Someone puts on their wizard hat and robe... the rest writes itself

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Someone puts on their wizard hat and robe... the rest writes itself

Ah but a wizard’s staff has a knob on the end! (Lyrics, by ‘Nanny Ogg’)

 

[Britva415]

Ah but a wizard’s staff has a knob on the end! (Lyrics, by ‘Nanny Ogg’)

See what I mean?

 

[shakna]

You don't have a bard in the party yet. A little bit of bardic inspiration can go a long way towards a lil bit of romance.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

You don't have a bard in the party yet. A little bit of bardic inspiration can go a long way towards a lil bit of romance.

Or as birth control. Goblin singing… *shudder*

 

[shakna]

Or as birth control. Goblin singing… *shudder*

Perfect for vicious mockery. We all need a lil bit of attitude when escaping from prison.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Perfect for vicious mockery. We all need a lil bit of attitude when escaping from prison.

True, it’s hard to effectively chase down someone whose ‘artful expression’ leads to your internal contents escaping from any adjacent sphincter