Is your partner curious about sexual adventures?

[aziegmann]

A few months ago, my partner started making comments about open relationships and non-monogamy, based on something she read in the news or saw on TV—making it clear that she believes monogamy and sexual exclusivity are not natural to humans. And I agree with her 100%.

One day, she told me, "Shall we have an open relationship?" in a tone that was navigating between joking and a simple way of introducing the topic between us. I must admit I don’t know what to answer in these moments, although I do consider the idea.

Recently, after we had sex, she told me about being curious to know what it would be like to receive oral sex from another woman, revealing that she might be able to handle it, but would only really know by trying.

I confess that this revelation made me curious, and now I wonder if this is a way that she found out to discover what I think about this topic and if I'd be willing to explore new options/adventures with her. How can I be sure of this? Should I be direct and make her some questions to put the cards on the table, discuss about rules and concerns etc.? Or is it already so clear and obvious what she wants that just only me haven't realized it yet?

Have you experienced something similar lime this? If so, how did you handle with it?

 

[curioustxn]

A few months ago, my partner started making comments about open relationships and non-monogamy, based on something she read in the news or saw on TV—making it clear that she believes monogamy and sexual exclusivity are not natural to humans. And I agree with her 100%.

One day, she told me, "Shall we have an open relationship?" in a tone that was navigating between joking and a simple way of introducing the topic between us. I must admit I don’t know what to answer in these moments, although I do consider the idea.

Recently, after we had sex, she told me about being curious to know what it would be like to receive oral sex from another woman, revealing that she might be able to handle it, but would only really know by trying.

I confess that this revelation made me curious, and now I wonder if this is a way that she found out to discover what I think about this topic and if I'd be willing to explore new options/adventures with her. How can I be sure of this? Should I be direct and make her some questions to put the cards on the table, discuss about rules and concerns etc.? Or is it already so clear and obvious what she wants that just only me haven't realized it yet?

Have you experienced something similar lime this? If so, how did you handle with it?

Be careful! She may find someone she likes better than you. There is an old saying: "The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence."

 

[MileHighBlackDiamond]

A few months ago, my partner started making comments about open relationships and non-monogamy, based on something she read in the news or saw on TV—making it clear that she believes monogamy and sexual exclusivity are not natural to humans. And I agree with her 100%.

One day, she told me, "Shall we have an open relationship?" in a tone that was navigating between joking and a simple way of introducing the topic between us. I must admit I don’t know what to answer in these moments, although I do consider the idea.

Recently, after we had sex, she told me about being curious to know what it would be like to receive oral sex from another woman, revealing that she might be able to handle it, but would only really know by trying.

I confess that this revelation made me curious, and now I wonder if this is a way that she found out to discover what I think about this topic and if I'd be willing to explore new options/adventures with her. How can I be sure of this? Should I be direct and make her some questions to put the cards on the table, discuss about rules and concerns etc.? Or is it already so clear and obvious what she wants that just only me haven't realized it yet?

Have you experienced something similar lime this? If so, how did you handle with it?

Communication, communication, communication...

I wrote a longer response to swinging here, which I think will answer a few of your questions.

If you have a solid, great sex life, adding others is an extension of that, not a replacement.

We are in the lifestyle, feel free to ask any questions you might have.

 

[magic_rat]

Communication, communication, communication...

Absolutely the most important thing. And total honesty.

My partner and I also enjoy the lifestyle. We met via swinging and discovered we had a lot more in common than just enjoying the scene, and agreed that if our relationship was going anywhere it had to be totally open.

 

[Not Normal]

Should I be direct and make her some questions to put the cards on the table, discuss about rules and concerns etc.? Or is it already so clear and obvious what she wants that just only me haven't realized it yet?

Have you experienced something similar lime this? If so, how did you handle with it?

That's exactly what you need to do. This is no time for pussyfooting around. You need to be clear with your fears and your desires and so does your partner. And you need to think about what might happen as you explore.

And you need to KEEP COMMUNICATING as things go on.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

Be careful! She may find someone she likes better than you. There is an old saying: "The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence."

Same argument applies equally in monogamous relationships. Maybe more so.

 

[magic_rat]

Swinging couples get to sample all the grass without keeping secrets. Good swing/poly relationships are often a lot stronger than their mono counterparts.

 

[curioustxn]

Swinging couples get to sample all the grass without keeping secrets. Good swing/poly relationships are often a lot stronger than their mono counterparts.

Relationships are more than just about fucking. It all it is about is sex, I think you miss a lot in life.

Just my opinion................

 

[magic_rat]

Relationships are more than just about fucking. It all it is about is sex, I think you miss a lot in life.

Just my opinion................

I agree completely. We swing. we also watch TV, go out for dinner, go to work, do all the same stuff everyone else does. Our relationship - and those of 90% of the swinging couples we know - consists mainly of NOT swinging. Sex isn't a 24/7 thing and to be honest we're more likely to bump into couples we know in a supermarket than the bedroom.

But when we have fun, we have big fun, and do it without guilt' jealousy or lies. If my partner is late home I won't be concerned that she's seeing someone in secret - if she wants to fuck someone she will, and I'll know about it before or after, and vice versa. Having no secrets is very liberating.

Even if one doesn't like the idea of swinging, most vanilla couples would benefit greatly from a big dose of honesty.

 

[MileHighBlackDiamond]

Relationships are more than just about fucking. It all it is about is sex, I think you miss a lot in life.

Just my opinion................

Not sure what you are reading or watching, but swingers aren't fucking 24x7, it isn't the only thing in their lives. As @magic_rat already said, we have regular lives too.

Do we talk about everything sex more than others, probably, because in the lifestyle there isn't anything taboo, and conversations aren't softened, filtered or non existent like with vanilla relationships.

We talk about our reg lives, like everyone else, as well as sex, no filters.

How many times did I talk to my vanilla friends about my girl liking toys and what positions we like, never. Or how about friends say "we're trying to have a baby." Wonderful, but they don't tell you they are fucking 10 times a week and how they are doing it, how she got pregnant from the 1st kid, do they? No, because 99% of the time, those are private conversations between the couple, not friends.

IF you would ever go to a lifestyle club, what you will find is people mingling, chatting, enjoying a drink, playing pool, ping pong, beer pong, corn hole... Nothing different than a normal bar/club.

Where the real freedom and refreshing part comes in is people may be dressed in normal street clothes, something really sexy, or maybe nothing at all, it is up to them.

I can tell a woman how sexy and gorgeous she is looking, maybe her dress with those fuck me heels is making me hard..... with her permission caress and squeeze her ass during a nice long hug, and I'm not going to have the guy want to knock my teeth out.

Yes, there are areas where people are having sex and playing, but most of the time it is friends gathering to enjoy time together with more freedoms than anywhere else.

 

[Britva415]

Yeah. Plus, if it's true that "good swing/poly relationships are often a lot stronger than their mono counterparts," there's a very good reason for it, and it's all the time the people spend not fucking and instead putting effort into the relationship and into communicating with each other. That really can't be done if all you do is fuck.

Just like in a monogamous relationship, except that poly/nonmonogamous people have a very high level of awareness that the relationship needs work, whereas so many default-monogamous people just assume everything's fine, until it's not.

 

[Bayzapper10]

A few months ago, my partner started making comments about open relationships and non-monogamy, based on something she read in the news or saw on TV—making it clear that she believes monogamy and sexual exclusivity are not natural to humans. And I agree with her 100%.

One day, she told me, "Shall we have an open relationship?" in a tone that was navigating between joking and a simple way of introducing the topic between us. I must admit I don’t know what to answer in these moments, although I do consider the idea.

Recently, after we had sex, she told me about being curious to know what it would be like to receive oral sex from another woman, revealing that she might be able to handle it, but would only really know by trying.

I confess that this revelation made me curious, and now I wonder if this is a way that she found out to discover what I think about this topic and if I'd be willing to explore new options/adventures with her. How can I be sure of this? Should I be direct and make her some questions to put the cards on the table, discuss about rules and concerns etc.? Or is it already so clear and obvious what she wants that just only me haven't realized it yet?

Have you experienced something similar lime this? If so, how did you handle with it?

Twice now. About ten years ago my wife slept with her best friend (F). Severely truncated story, we developed into polyamory organically as ENM was a complete unknown to us. We lasted two and a half years, off and on. Wife could not get beyond the morality standards of monogamy.

About six months ago perimenopause began and thankfully, she experienced an accelerated sex drive instead of the much more common depressive symptoms. “Accelerated sex drive” is putting it mildly, it is a runaway freight train.

We have always had a broad and satisfying sex life - restricted to monogamy with the aforementioned Poly period of course. I did have a higher libido, but not then or now, it has been a wild, wild, ride. The current state she is in has opened up many possibilities and I couldn’t be happier for her or us.

 

[Bayzapper10]

Same argument applies equally in monogamous relationships. Maybe more so.

So much agree on this sentiment! I

 

[Bayzapper10]

Yeah. Plus, if it's true that "good swing/poly relationships are often a lot stronger than their mono counterparts," there's a very good reason for it, and it's all the time the people spend not fucking and instead putting effort into the relationship and into communicating with each other. That really can't be done if all you do is fuck.

Just like in a monogamous relationship, except that poly/nonmonogamous people have a very high level of awareness that the relationship needs work, whereas so many default-monogamous people just assume everything's fine, until it's not.

I want this carved in granite and put in a prominent place, so much wisdom in your comment.

 

[LeaHaven]

Just be careful. You might run into Bob and Sarah, and they will be naked
https://forum.literotica.com/threads/swinging-lifestyle.1615621/post-99731641

 

[Jordanjack]

Twice now. About ten years ago my wife slept with her best friend (F). Severely truncated story, we developed into polyamory organically as ENM was a complete unknown to us. We lasted two and a half years, off and on. Wife could not get beyond the morality standards of monogamy.

About six months ago perimenopause began and thankfully, she experienced an accelerated sex drive instead of the much more common depressive symptoms. “Accelerated sex drive” is putting it mildly, it is a runaway freight train.

We have always had a broad and satisfying sex life - restricted to monogamy with the aforementioned Poly period of course. I did have a higher libido, but not then or now, it has been a wild, wild, ride. The current state she is in has opened up many possibilities and I couldn’t be happier for her or us.

Lucky you. That sounds incredible

 

[Jordanjack]

To answer OP’s original question. No, my wife is not curious about sexual adventures.

Reading through the thread though, I agree that communication is extremely important. I’ve never been involved with any open relationships, but I listen to a lot of podcasts about the lifestyle and the most successful relationships are the ones with great communication and can frequently have uncomfortable conversations.

 

[Bayzapper10]

Lucky you. That sounds incredible

Oh, I am and it is! Even her doctor told me in private that she is jealous!

 

[LookN2Talk]

"Is your partner curious about sexual adventures?"

Yes she is as long as I do all the planning, guiding, and keep the momentum. It used to be the opposite since I was not as experienced as her. As the balance changed she backed off and let me run with it. She prefers I lead and she will do most anything. I still have to be careful not to jump to far ahead to fast. As long as I am creative in how I present things, not pressing to much beyond our last, all goes well and she is goes with the flow.

 

[Rob_Royale]

A few months ago, my partner started making comments about open relationships and non-monogamy, based on something she read in the news or saw on TV—making it clear that she believes monogamy and sexual exclusivity are not natural to humans. And I agree with her 100%.

One day, she told me, "Shall we have an open relationship?" in a tone that was navigating between joking and a simple way of introducing the topic between us. I must admit I don’t know what to answer in these moments, although I do consider the idea.

Recently, after we had sex, she told me about being curious to know what it would be like to receive oral sex from another woman, revealing that she might be able to handle it, but would only really know by trying.

I confess that this revelation made me curious, and now I wonder if this is a way that she found out to discover what I think about this topic and if I'd be willing to explore new options/adventures with her. How can I be sure of this? Should I be direct and make her some questions to put the cards on the table, discuss about rules and concerns etc.? Or is it already so clear and obvious what she wants that just only me haven't realized it yet?

Have you experienced something similar lime this? If so, how did you handle with it?

Any update?

 

[aziegmann]

Any update?

Unfortunately not yet. It depends on her mood to see her making these comments again.

 

[ZfrkS62]

Nope. Nyet. Nein. Negative. Non. No.

Boreville, population, Us.

 

[hulmule]

Never has and never willl. Now me, my mind races...

 

[LookN2Talk]

A few months ago, my partner started making comments about open relationships and non-monogamy, based on something she read in the news or saw on TV—making it clear that she believes monogamy and sexual exclusivity are not natural to humans.

One day, she told me, "Shall we have an open relationship?"

Take her back to that day. Have her start from the beginning ending with the above question. When she asks, "Shall we have an open relationship?" Ask her what exactly does she envision that would look like. Then give your input. Without a doubt for me I would make it very clear that I must be a part of everything that goes on, not excluded, otherwise what is the point? Basically it would be having affairs not helping build a connection with her. I want to be part of everything my wife is into and vice versa. For example, even though masturbation is fun I love it when we are together, sharing all aspects of it. We always have a better connection, better sex talk, more and better sex afterwards and we do not slip away from each other.

Recently, after we had sex, she told me about being curious to know what it would be like to receive oral sex from another woman, but would only really know by trying.

You can definitely simulate crazy sex ideas with all the amazing toys out there these days testing out fantasies for certain, how you go about, word, set it up, talk it through has to be balanced I've discovered. My wife and I do this with our sex toys as best as we can.

However, from what I read from others here and elsewhere, as well as what I saw in college, there is physically nothing better than doing the real thing. If read enough posts all about, weighing them out, turning fantasies into reality comes with great cautions such as: As others have stated throughout many forums, Once you go Real it is very difficult to go back. Kind of like that saying Once you go Black you will never go back. In other words you may bite off more than you can handle. One or the other will typically go ape over it while the other gets left behind.

My wife is not into women whatsoever, not attracted to them, not interested in sex with them, has never been around it, she turns off movies/shows with lesbian like scenes, and yet in some crazy way if it ever happened I think it would be immediately addicting. We have both saw it in college and read current trending articles on sex with others, all the extra things one can experience with real people which are fascinating, absolutely fascinating. Many do become addicted to the new experiences. I think 90% or more of the world would go there if it were not for the dynamics of adding another person into the drama of one's life and stds. Cautions number 2 and 3.

I confess that this revelation made me curious, and now I wonder if this is a way that she found out to discover what I think about this topic and if I'd be willing to explore new options/adventures with her.

How can I be sure of this?

If my wife came out and told me, "about being curious to know what it would be like to receive oral sex from another woman, but would only really know by trying," there would be no doubt in my mind she wants to do it. I do not know how she could say it much clearer. Of course my jaw would hit the floor in stunned shock and I would try my best to not go crazy. But you can rest assured, she would like it to happen. For us we'd test it out in RP with sex toys and scenarios. For you, talk it out, talk it through. Enjoy the exciting fun of discussing it with her, possibly playing it out.

Should I be direct and make her some questions to put the cards on the table, discuss about rules and concerns etc.?

You could do as I mentioned in the first question answer and I feel based on her bluntness that you could be direct without fear of kickback. Afterall she did clearly say she wondered what oral is like from a woman.

Or is it already so clear and obvious what she wants that, just only I haven't realized it yet?

It seem pretty obvious. But do you only talk about it at first, introduce it in sex play, toys play, set up scenarios to make it more realistic, then move together to look for a lady? Or skip to looking for a willing lady? I would never want any of this to happen without being a part of it, as I have stated, if is is not going to improve OUR relationship, what's the point?

Have you experienced something similar like this? If so, how did you handle with it?

My wife and I have not as a couple.

She did with a few male friends where they wanted to mfm. She has always been a one guy girl and each different situation she slide her way out of it. Two of those times she was so hot and bothered by the time the second guy came into the picture that she almost let things happen but snapped out of it realizing that this was not in her best interest. It was not something she wanted. Had it been, it the results would... well you know.

I had a few similar things happen in college where two girls wanted to get together with me after I was very into one of them. I almost let it happen but also realized the two girls were way more into each other than even the one was into me. I'd been left out without a doubt. I had friends who were all into this (what guy isn't?) and every times they told their stories I notices they were left out. Some didn't realize it, probably didn't care, I get that when its all just about sex and the moment of the sex, which is not something I want if I am in a relationship. Sure I could have had a fun night of watching the girls go at it, who knows maybe I'd get to do something as well. Had I not been so interested in the one perhaps.

Another time hanging out with friends on the girl's sorority hall, someone turned on group porn. Those uncomfortable left, others joined, couples were messing around, my two friends wanted to leave o that left their room. One had a boyfriend and in the room making out they asked if we wanted to join them. Again, as a sex act I am positive it would have been fascinating, memorable, we didn't join, left, and talked about it. We both knew it would have changed our friendship with all of us to an uncomfortable state. I am still amazing friends with her as well is my wife. Would have lost it most likely. Somethings are not were the price and I absolutely love sex, so you have to do the math.

Ask yourself and your mate, how could this change things for us? Will it be better? Will it be long term? Etc. As you said, "questions to put the cards on the table, discuss about rules and concerns etc." I would talk it out, be very clear about it all. Make certain you know and are clear about what you want before you discuss it. Lay it all out.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

There was a time when I was younger that I was curious about sex with a woman.
I had a very brief experiment in HS that ruined our friendship, so I was shy about it.

We were exploring the lifestyle and had been to a couple swinger events. We had watched and got watched but there was no joining in.

I want to experiment the first time with a woman on my own.
I didnt have any idea what to expect, and didnt want him watching.
Also, if i didn't like it, would she be frustrated and they would satisfy each other leaving me out.

It never happened because we couldn't agree. We have several 3somes MMF because we could agree on boundaries.