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Bacchus_disciple said:
I broke up with my girlfriend (first girlfriend) of two years a month and a half ago. I am not over it. I struggled growing up making social relationships, though as a child I had a brilliant set of friends. I am in a better place, with someone now basically my best friend, and working on my London network. My ex-girlfriend has some stuff of mine, so she's going to give it to me. 1) Should we just do a handover, and I try to forget about her (aside from the memories which will remain.) Is it possible that long term I will be over it and we could be friends? b) I bought her a jumper for her feb birthday but delivery issues so I still have it. I like it. Would it be wrong if I kept it?
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Time heals. It depends on the split and how nasty it was, or wasn't. I am still friends with most of my exes. You will forget, maybe not totally, but it'll happen
I have done the meet and hand back stuff before, It's fine.
Does the jumper fit you?
 
Bacchus_disciple said:
I broke up with my girlfriend (first girlfriend) of two years a month and a half ago. I am not over it. I struggled growing up making social relationships, though as a child I had a brilliant set of friends. I am in a better place, with someone now basically my best friend, and working on my London network. My ex-girlfriend has some stuff of mine, so she's going to give it to me. 1) Should we just do a handover, and I try to forget about her (aside from the memories which will remain.) Is it possible that long term I will be over it and we could be friends? b) I bought her a jumper for her feb birthday but delivery issues so I still have it. I like it. Would it be wrong if I kept it?
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1) yes, do and handover whilst things are still raw but mention youd like to remain friends. Its perfectly possible to be friends after you get past the hurt and reasons for breaking up b) no.
 
Bacchus_disciple said:
I broke up with my girlfriend (first girlfriend) of two years a month and a half ago. I am not over it. I struggled growing up making social relationships, though as a child I had a brilliant set of friends. I am in a better place, with someone now basically my best friend, and working on my London network. My ex-girlfriend has some stuff of mine, so she's going to give it to me. 1) Should we just do a handover, and I try to forget about her (aside from the memories which will remain.) Is it possible that long term I will be over it and we could be friends? b) I bought her a jumper for her feb birthday but delivery issues so I still have it. I like it. Would it be wrong if I kept it?
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You won't be able to be friends till you're over your romantic attachment to her. Wanting to bang someone kinda gets in the way of genuine friendship.

If you like the jumper, keep it.

If there's one thing I've learnt in 61 orbits of our star, it's that hanging onto things that are no more is not healthy.
 
Bacchus_disciple said:
going forward, how do you deal with relationships, in the sense that it was such a deep emotional connection, and now its gone. It makes me afraid - I feel things quite deeply. Is the solution to always make sure that my friendships are strong so that its never too much of a central node?? But then isnt that the whole point. I appreciate these are a young persons follies, and you may find them naive and silly, though at the same time I think there is a genuine question there. Is the answer that anything worth having involves risk?
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sometimes they just happen. you meet someone and it works. there are no hard and fast rules. I prefer to be friends too, but some haven't worked that way... yet we ended up staying friends.
There is no rhyme or reason to it
 
Bacchus_disciple said:
Like does every relationship involve baring of the soul on the chance that it lasts, whilst risking that it doesn't work out.
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Life is about trial and error. You learn stuff as you go along. Closing yourself off to reduce the risk of being hurt leads to a very lonely existence. Just go one step at a time and if something feels right then let it happen. Learn from your mistakes though and have some boundaries if you need them
 
Bacchus_disciple said:
Like does every relationship involve baring of the soul on the chance that it lasts, whilst risking that it doesn't work out.
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If you don’t take the risk you’ll never know. And it could be something wonderful.

As for your ex. She’s an ex for a reason. Time is a great healer, although that won’t particularly feel helpful atm. If you can stay friends without feeling hurt, great. If it’s going to cause you pain then maybe it’s best to say goodbye. Break ups are so difficult, especially if you still have deep feelings for that person.
 
Bacchus_disciple said:
Ok thanks guys. I will be grateful for whatever opportunities present themselves, given that all is temporary, and focus on cultivating my friendships first and foremost. Theres a good few years of hitting the gym and memorising poetry before I'm a great romantic partner choice anyhow hehe
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i just memorise song lyrics (when i say memorise, i mean my head is just full of them).
 
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