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Anyone from the UK?

Yesok1 said:
Hi guys and gals thank you. It's not really a loss, lost mum years ago. It's more about how we treated each other and the associated feelings. We need to be kinder, especially to those we are supposed to love. You can't turn back time.
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weirdly, a big chunk of my group therapy session today was about falling out with/ not talking to family - particularly our parents for long periods of time
 
Yesok1 said:
Hi guys and gals thank you. It's not really a loss, lost mum years ago. It's more about how we treated each other and the associated feelings. We need to be kinder, especially to those we are supposed to love. You can't turn back time.
Click to expand...
No, you can't.

But you also have to remember that just because people are related to you it doesn't give them the right to be a cunt and damage you either.

I don't know you, or the ins and outs of your relationship with your mum, but you'll have had reasons, and they will be just as valid now as they were then.

Grief always brings regret and guilt, but that doesn't mean they are justified.

Sending you big hugs, and hoping you find peace.

You know where to find me if you need 😘
 
Saltfountain said:
No, you can't.

But you also have to remember that just because people are related to you it doesn't give them the right to be a cunt and damage you either.

I don't know you, or the ins and outs of your relationship with your mum, but you'll have had reasons, and they will be just as valid now as they were then.

Grief always brings regret and guilt, but that doesn't mean they are justified.

Sending you big hugs, and hoping you find peace.

You know where to find me if you need 😘
Click to expand...
So much this. Totally agree.
 
Saltfountain said:
No, you can't.

But you also have to remember that just because people are related to you it doesn't give them the right to be a cunt and damage you either.

I don't know you, or the ins and outs of your relationship with your mum, but you'll have had reasons, and they will be just as valid now as they were then.

Grief always brings regret and guilt, but that doesn't mean they are justified.

Sending you big hugs, and hoping you find peace.

You know where to find me if you need 😘
Click to expand...

They say blood is thicker than water, but sometimes it just leaves a bigger stain that's hard to remove.

Families are messy, I know and I have also seen it in my professional life (especially after a death - part of my job).

Sending virtual hugs to @Yesok1
 
Yesok1 said:
Yep. I'm not really with it, but I'm getting by. I haven't cried yet, but I'm struggling with the different emotions I have.

I hadn't seen mum in years, not been in contact and she'd not met my kids. It appears dad has moved away, so they split up. So dealing with that too.

You know when you look back and wonder if your a heartless bitch. Well...!
Click to expand...

I’m sorry for you loss, @Yesok1. It can be tough, losing a family member - even if you hadn’t been in touch for a while.

Virtual hugs.
 
Yesok1 said:
Hi guys and gals thank you. It's not really a loss, lost mum years ago. It's more about how we treated each other and the associated feelings. We need to be kinder, especially to those we are supposed to love. You can't turn back time.
Click to expand...
Also sending virtual 🫂 and support. It's very easy to blame yourself for the difficulties you've experienced in life, but never accuse yourself of being heartless. You have alot of love to give. If you were heartless, you wouldn't ask the question in the first place
 
Good morning everyone and virtual hugs to @Yesok1 too. It is tough and makes us reflect on what we think, looking back, we could or should have done differently. But as has been said, we had our reasons at the time and sometimes forget how valid they were.
 
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