Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc

[yukonnights]

When I grow up, I want to be a Service Cat !

https://68.media.tumblr.com/6d3483574a4531a2a49610971ddbbc50/tumblr_on9oqab2h61vk4d7qo1_1280.jpg

 

[Vixandra]

Ugh, yeah, therapy is definitely exhausting. I'm glad yours is helping. What kind do you do? I just started with a new therapist & kind of therapy (CBT/DBT), which I really like and find useful, but I'm always interested in other methods that could help.

I have basically a skype video call type session and we're working now on changing internal language and how I view my disabilies and their limitations. I'm sure there's some clinical name for it but I can't recall it. So I've brought in my immediate family and closest friends into the know so they can check me if I say broken instead of temporary incapacitation or something to that effect. And on how to break an anxiety spiral to help prevent attacks.

 

[fertile_babygirl]

Huh, interesting - I've never heard of mixed depression & anxiety. To be honest, I'm not even entirely sure what my "official" diagnosis is. But yeah, thanks genetic legacy!

So yeah, avoidant personality disorder is a cluster C (anxious or fearful behavior) personality disorder. This is the DSM description:

"Avoidant personality disorder: a pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and extreme sensitivity to criticism. A person with avoidant personality disorder may be unwilling to get involved with people unless he/she is certain of being liked, be preoccupied with being criticized or rejected, or may view himself/herself as being inferior or socially inept."

The DSM also says that a personality disorder is a long term pattern of behavior seen in at least 2 of 4 areas:

• Way of thinking about oneself and others
• Way of responding emotionally
• Way of relating to other people
• Way of controlling one’s behavior

I can check off the behaviors in AvPD in all four of those areas, so I guess it makes sense for me. But I'm still not sure how it's so different than social anxiety. I've met several people with social anxiety recently, through Meetup groups & an anxiety therapy group, and the only thing I can come up with so far is that mine is more to do with maintaining relationships, or having closer relationships. So for example, going to a social event with new people won't make me really anxious, but having a deeper, more personal discussion with a friend, especially if I'm telling them something new about me or if I'm upset with them, makes me super anxious.

It is definitely helpful to talk to others about this! How are you doing with it lately?

Sorry for the late reply!!!

And yeah.. from the way you explained it it seems that avoidant personality may make you more anxious in situations where you are super anxious about someone's opinion changing of you? Like... going to meet some random people you may never see again would be less likely to cause you anxiety but for someone with social anxiety that would be a nightmare?

Just trying to understand. I know when I took Mental Health in Nursing school... there are so many diagnoses that are VERY similar or fall under the same umbrella. I think it's pretty interesting. >.>

And yes. It does. It's amazing the difference you feel talking to someone with a mental disorder vs someone without. I have been told to just "get over it" or "knock it off." God. I wish I could....! But I enjoy educating people about it... But some people can't wrap their hands around the fact that oh... you mean... it's like having a chronic disorder? Like diabetes? Yeah. Yep. But different... But not. You can't just wake up and get over it.

What's weird is... I definitely think I am a "highly" functioning depressed/anxious person. But because of this I have to explain sometimes to my coworkers why I tend to... either be more anxious about things they are calm as hell over... the depression aspect I usually hide away but for the most part is pretty well managed with my medication.

I have my days. Things happen that make me "flare up" sort of. This is my first year of being a new Nurse which is suppose to be the HARDEST time of your career... so I have been having many flare ups... But I am getting by. Talking to people HELPS so much... especially when you are being irrational >.>

How are you doing?

 

[fertile_babygirl]

Service Cats must remain alert at all times !

https://68.media.tumblr.com/aa35f067d8b1a9de9eae6e595fc87a03/tumblr_oj0zngb8Dm1vk4d7qo1_400.gif

Uhhh!! Giff me that kitten at once to love on and collect scratches on my arm.

Unfortunately, everyone in my household is allergic to cats now =( but we have two beautiful Schnauzers. One I really bonded with and he looks like a Teddy Bear (mixed eith something else maybe poodle?)

It is amazing how pets are so healing and loving. They ask no questions. Just love you. (Ok cats silently judge you but we love them for it )

https://youtube.com/watch?v=kmy2Xt45q-g

 

[yukonnights]

Uhhh!! Giff me that kitten at once to love on and collect scratches on my arm.

Unfortunately, everyone in my household is allergic to cats now =( but we have two beautiful Schnauzers. One I really bonded with and he looks like a Teddy Bear (mixed eith something else maybe poodle?)

It is amazing how pets are so healing and loving. They ask no questions. Just love you. (Ok cats silently judge you but we love them for it )

https://youtube.com/watch?v=kmy2Xt45q-g

I'm more amazed by them every day. Each one is truly unique in personality. Even these fun little images bring a smile and a lighter spirit to me. I'm glad you have some sweet innocent creatures in your life.

https://68.media.tumblr.com/c93bb74b97fe2d267c5ac942670e38c3/tumblr_o6nvs0dwmB1r0bb2ao1_1280.jpg

 

[MrsKingky]

I've recently become a big follower of "The Semicolon Project". I've decided to make it my next tattoo and will have it over the top of my self harming scars (which are barely visible anyway)

I don't find it easy to open up at all. Sometimes it's almost physically impossible to talk about feelings and my past struggles. I've had a few unhelpful moments when opening up, even though they were all people I was very close with. Not even my best friend realises the extent, if any. I play my part very well, using humour to cover any feelings or anxiety. At the moment I'm on a constant edge of worrying about rejection. I'm amazed I'm not grey

 

[Vixandra]

I've recently become a big follower of "The Semicolon Project". I've decided to make it my next tattoo and will have it over the top of my self harming scars (which are barely visible anyway)

I don't find it easy to open up at all. Sometimes it's almost physically impossible to talk about feelings and my past struggles. I've had a few unhelpful moments when opening up, even though they were all people I was very close with. Not even my best friend realises the extent, if any. I play my part very well, using humour to cover any feelings or anxiety. At the moment I'm on a constant edge of worrying about rejection. I'm amazed I'm not grey

If it's any consolation you're not alone. I front like I'm okay to most people, even friends and family when I am so not.

 

[Fflow]

I'm so glad to see this thread still active, and people lovingly supporting each other as we make our own journeys. xoxo

I too am not prone to revealing the hard stuff I move through on a daily basis, the thoughts and feelings that, at times, seem overwhelming. I tend to hide all of it, even with those who are closest to me. I know I can share with them, but my depression is somehow inexorably intertwined with deep seated feelings of shame.

I may have mentioned it, previously, but I wrote and published a book. It was quite challenging, but surprisingly healing. It was an effort to embrace vulnerability, and to let go of some old things that were causing me grief. If anyone wants to discuss the process, I'd be glad to share.

xoxo

s(f)

 

[LanguageOfLove]

Hi, I just joined and have posted a little here and there. I have always had depression and anxiety, but since I am now in my 40's, it has gotten more difficult for me.

Additionally, I recently started taking a medication for my anxiety and depression and am not sure if it is the medication, or my age, but it has improved my relationship with my husband.

Some of the side effects are not so great, but it has improved relationships in my life.

 

[LanguageOfLove]

I will be seeing a counselor tomorrow, mostly because of a new medicine I will be taking soon for anxiety and depression. Although I don't feel like I do, certain situations give me anxiety.

Its not at home though, so that's good...

 

[Vixandra]

Can this cycle of ramp shit up weekly ease the hell off? Last few weeks it's been physical overexertion, then my paternal unit, whom I am not in contact with tries to set up a meeting behind my back with my hubby, who told me asap. And today was the only day I've seen my brother or sister in law in a year and it sucked.

So I hurt physically, and emotionally, which feeds the first and I'm mad as hell. I told paternal unit previosly not text hubby, talk to me or stfu. So later I'll send a do not contact this number and block it later. Hubby should have to deal with his folks, not mine. And mine will deal with me. He wants any hope in hell of seeing my kids he can answer me first. How the fuck do you let someone abuse your kids so much they hate themselves? Answer me that and I may find a reason though I doubt it. Some part of me still wants to know though.

So it's been a week of heightened anxiety, panic attacks, falls/faints/collapses and the increased exhaustion those bring. I mean, the fibro is exhausting, don't get me wrong, but add that on top and I'm amazed got as much work done as I did this week.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

For those of you who might be interested and don't already know, there is a MH thread over here:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=814617

 

[kissedcherry]

Not a panacea but...

I don't think sex is a panacea but I do think it is the most natural stress relief. I think that humans were designed to have a flood of endorphins and other pleasure chemicals released multiple times a day. Sex is not the only source of such a release but it is powerful one.

It is not always possible to have a partner available for daily sex but masturbation is a way of getting a daily sense of well-being.

Working out also is important. I recommend jogging daily or 6 out of 7 days if you are physically up to it. After my morning jog I set aside about 30-45 minutes for masturbation. Then I shower and start my day. Even on days when I am sure that I will be having sex with a partner I still start my day that way.

I do find that if I don't masturbate and don't have sex with someone for more than a week I start feeling anxiety. I think it is good for my health and there are no side-effects like chemical drugs all have.

 

[SunshineSam218]

Right now I am dealing with a lot of depression and panic attacks after losing my brother to suicide. I blame myself for missing the signs. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night. I'm also a victim of rape by my ex boyfriend and I am trying to heal with everything. Sometimes it's hard for me to trust people and let them in because I always feel like people are out to get me. I deal with with PTSD right now. This is the first time I am coming forward with this. For over five years I've kept it inside of me until I told my Mom. For once I would just like to make some friends and talk to them and have people not judge me. Anytime people ignore me or avoid me, I always feel like I've done something wrong and that they are getting tired of me. I have a lot of healing to do and I know that. This is why I love crave music, love movies and writing and art because it helps me heal. My brother was in a metal band and when he moved to Florida he wore lots of hawaiian shirts. His wife ended up finding him in the garage. My niece is 12 years old and barely eats anymore after losing her father. I'm so damn depressed right now.... This is why I kept deleting my account from Literotica because of depression. And this is why I chose the gif in my signature because it makes me think of my brother. He loved the beach.

 

[NightL]

This is why I love crave music, love movies and writing and art because it helps me heal.

Yup, and if you live near the ocean yourself, get out for daily walks. Just absorb the sounds and smell of nature around you. The ocean, birds, wind through trees, park-lands, gardens and wild flowers. If you walk through parkland try to attune to all sounds around you, listen for leaf rustles, insects, how many different bird calls and their locations. Is there a creek or river near so you can here running water? Focus on the sounds of nature. You maybe surprised by how much more being outside can offer if you listen for the orchestra of nature. Leave the headphones for listening to music when you are home.

These are things that assisted in my journeys.

Try writing an appreciation diary - daily entries, it maybe "I so needed that first coffee today, it warmed and lifted my soul" through to acknowledging a smile someone extended to you. If you smiled back, then acknowledge that as well. Recognise when you have done something to lift another person.

This is the first time I am coming forward with this.

I think it was on this very thread that I took a first step a number of years ago. I came back from time to time to visit this space when I needed an outlet to express and indeed cry.

By opening up about the distress I was feeling I allowed myself to realise it was time to ask for professional help and assistance from a psychologist. "this is the first time" is a step in the right direction.

Take your niece along for some of those beach walks.

 

[jehoram]

This is the first time I am coming forward with this. For over five years I've kept it inside of me until I told my Mom. For once I would just like to make some friends and talk to them and have people not judge me.

I'm sorry to hear of your distress, and hope that the healing will begin soon.

For each of those occurrences (rape, PTSD, grief at the loss of a loved one), I suggest that you look for support groups ... people who have been through those things and know where you're coming from. You can get references from rape crisis centers, veteran's groups, and possibly religious organizations.

Know that you are not alone. There are people who have completed their healing (or at least coping) processes who want to help you, if they only knew you were there. They have the tools.

This also goes for your sister-in-law and niece. In your niece's case, there may be resources in her school system for students with grief problems.

Don't expect or look for solace among people who haven't been through what you've been through. They can offer sympathy but not much else. Often, they have their own struggles which they'll try to project on you, just when it's the last thing you need.

Good luck. I'm confident that, with the right guidance, you'll pull through this.

 

[Pantux]

At 59 I was never one for therapy. I was one of those suck it up guys. Always considered psychology to be pseudo science. All that changed two years ago when I found myself drowning and had no idea how to save myself. My wife of 34 years was in the hospital for over 60 days and not expected to recover. My mother died. My father had gambled away away his life savings as a result of dementia. I had just retired as a school administrator after 29 years and found many of my supports had disappeared. I found for the first time I was having anxiety attacks and they were getting more frequent and severe. Fortunately for me I have a decent benefits package and was able to find a good therapist. Things started to turn around wife got out of the hospital Still ill but she is alive. Started to build new supports and things to do. Then COVID-19 happened and I had more frequent anxiety issues. I am glad that I found help. Without her help I would have probably not have made it through this. Mental health is not a joke and I fear in Canada that not enough emphasis is put on mental well being. I am fortunate that I found a supportive therapist that was able to help me out. Things are not always great but always getting better.

 

[AngelaJohnston]

What a cute photo, thank you for sharing. I was interested to read your comments, I hope one of your tips will help me get rid of panic attacks. And I'm thinking about getting a kitten.

 

[Joncoynie]

I am very sorry about all the problems that our forum members have to face. The main thing is not to lose hope for improving your condition and take care of yourself. After all, many people managed to overcome all their illnesses and finally start living a full life. And I know this firsthand.
For a while, I watched my close friend suffer because of the death of her father. I saw how her life was collapsing because of this and decided not to stand on the sidelines anymore. A couple of days later, I took her to a company for counselling for grief, hoping that they would help her. And they helped her! After a month of therapy, she began to feel better and realized many things.

Therefore, never ignore your problems. Solve them.

 

[FinnAnderson]

Congrats on making it through your first year as a nurse! That's a huge accomplishment, especially with all the added stressors. Remember, it's okay to have those flare-ups and lean on others for support. Talking it out really does wonders.

 

[NightL]

I'm learning more about myself in therapy.

it is so important to have someone to communicate with who "gets it", who you feel won't judge you. Yup, it is scary coming out the other side to reclaim your life. It can also be emotionally exhausting having to relive through moments when trying to explain the circumstances that culminated in PTSD to someone who does not understand.

Maybe you could ask your therapist for a recommended descriptive resource about PTSD that you can offer your friend. Not for your friend to be an assistant therapist but to help her understand how you may react to certain situations.

Another for you having a best friend.

 

[SmokingFap]

Congrats on making it through your first year as a nurse! That's a huge accomplishment, especially with all the added stressors. Remember, it's okay to have those flare-ups and lean on others for support. Talking it out really does wonders.

Thank you for resurrecting this thread. It's not necessarily a natural topic for a sexually-oriented site, but I think it's a great topic to explore, even for those who are just looking to get themselves off.

 

[Beholders_Eye]

I've been through several episodes of all this over the years. Thanks to a really good psych doctor, the meds, and supportive family, things have been stable for me for several years. But I am aware of triggers: for example, I stay out of department stores like Macy's; surefire panic attack - too many people, too much merchandise reaching out for me. And I have sound canceling headphones to block out noise in public places. Keep looking and figure out what works for you.

Literotica helps .

 

[Bojackennedy]

Thank you to all who have shared their experiences in this thread. It has been incredibly helpful to me to learn about and try and understand what others are going through.

Solidarity with everyone who is struggling. If there is anyone who thinks they have no one to talk to or no one cares, happy for you to reach out and talk.

 

[Nightbird]

Has anyone here gone through EMDR therapy?