Inconsistent tenses?

[Boobytrap73]

I'm a fairly new writer and I'm noticing that in my drafts, I'm not totally consistent on tenses. The pattern seems to be that use past tense to set up the scene but move to present tense for the action. I'm mostly writing (for now) in first person POV.

I just sent back and edited one draft to put it completely in past tense but it doesn't sound right so I'm sitting on it.

Any advice? Thanks.

~BT73

 

[AlinaX]

Be consistent, otherwise it gets confusing. But maybe you're tripping over yourself somehow. Do you want to quote a passage?

 

[EmilyMiller]

I'm a fairly new writer and I'm noticing that in my drafts, I'm not totally consistent on tenses. The pattern seems to be that use past tense to set up the scene but move to present tense for the action. I'm mostly writing (for now) in first person POV.

I just sent back and edited one draft to put it completely in past tense but it doesn't sound right so I'm sitting on it.

Any advice? Thanks.

~BT73

Use read back (Word supports it and most browsers if you use the Lit preview).

My most common mistakes are:

1. Has when I meant had (s and d are next to each other and I write on my phone)
2. …tuned when I meant …turned
3. Stoped (which is a word) when I meant stopped
4. Stared or starred when I meant started
5. Getting on and in the wrong way round - again i and n are next to each other

Using Speak ‘n’ Spell catches all of those and much more.

Emily

 

[AllenWoody]

Do you switch back and forth between writing past and present tense? I write both and it absolutely trips me up. I suggest you pick one and stick with it for a while.

 

[THBGato]

How do you imagine the story being told?

If you picture your narrator telling us a tale after the event, then you need to be in past tense for everything (except dialogue).

Alternatively, if you basically want us on a ride along with the character, experiencing things in real time with them, go present tense. This is very much the thing in YA these days.

You can mix them if you are going for a very colloquial style of storytelling as people will often slip into present tense when they get excited and are describing action e.g.

We was in the bar, right, the Gata Rosa, you know, that girls' bar up on Shoreditch, last Friday. Yeah, so me and Amy, we were just having a couple of mojitos, when this big butch girl comes up to us.

Suddenly, she's grabbing at my bag. Well, I wasn't having that, so I swing at her, but she's got this arm on her, right, and slaps me upside the head. I'm seeing stars, Amy's propping me up and by the time we're standing straight again, this chick's legged it out the bar!

Of course sustaining that for any length of time is going to get exhausting for both reader and writer.

 

[TheLobster]

As someone for whom this is a second language, I admit that tenses in narration confuse the heck out of me.

I know that you generally supposed to use past tense if you are not going for that newfangled YA in-the-moment style that @THBGato has mentioned. But as far as I understand, this is not a grammatical rule, i.e. nothing like the "put everything one tense further in the past" that I learned about indirect speech. You are still very much supposed to use others, and my sense when to switch isn't yet calibrated enough to do so without thinking (too) much about it.

Some areas of confusion I regularly encounter include:

• When exactly to use past perfect ("had been" rather than "was"). I know it's technically not necessary ever, but there are cases where it makes the narration flow better and obviates the need of more explicit ordering of events (using words like 'then' or 'later'). But not every ordering requires it, and my intuition is not always enough to make the discernment.
• Whether to use present or past to describe "timeless" things. For example, in my current story (for OnTheJob event) I've a got a paragraph that provides a short description of a character's profession. It's a part of the narration, but not part of the action, so I wrote it in the present, even though it sounds equally good to me either way.
• Whether you can use future tense to narrate about the future (wrt to the here-and-now of the story). Personally I don't see anything wrong with it, and the alternative is to litter the text with "would" which is grating to my eyes.

I suspect some of these questions could be answered by reading Elements of Style which I definitely have to procure one of these days

 

[Bazzle]

Use read back (Word supports it and most browsers if you use the Lit preview).

My most common mistakes are:

1. Has when I meant had (s and d are next to each other and I write on my phone)
2. …tuned when I meant …turned
3. Stoped (which is a word) when I meant stopped
4. Stared or starred when I meant started
5. Getting on and in the wrong way round - again i and n are next to each other

Using Speak ‘n’ Spell catches all of those and much more.

Emily

3 is a mining term !

 

[AlexBailey]

You can change tense in a story if you do it correctly. A previous thread about tense made me think about the song El Paso. I’ve sung it for years but hadn’t really thought about how the tense wavers then shifts in the middle of the song before. Some stories also do it effectively, especially if the narrator is telling a story from their past.


….
Just as fast as I
Could from the West Texas town of El Paso
Out to the badlands of New Mexico

Back in El Paso my life would be worthless
Everything's gone in life; nothing is left
It's been so long since I've seen the young maiden
My love is stronger than my fear of death

I saddled up and away I did go
Riding alone in the dark
Maybe tomorrow, a bullet may find me
Tonight nothing's worse than this pain in my heart

And at last here I
Am on the hill overlooking El Paso
I can see Rosa's cantina below
My love is strong and it pushes me onward
Down off the hill to Felina I go
….

 

[TarnishedPenny]

You can change tense in a story if you do it correctly. A previous thread about tense made me think about the song El Paso. I’ve sung it for years but hadn’t really thought about how the tense changes in the middle of the song before. Some stories also do it effectively, especially if the narrator is telling a story from their past.


….
Just as fast as I
Could from the West Texas town of El Paso
Out to the badlands of New Mexico

Back in El Paso my life would be worthless
Everything's gone in life; nothing is left
It's been so long since I've seen the young maiden
My love is stronger than my fear of death

I saddled up and away I did go
Riding alone in the dark
Maybe tomorrow, a bullet may find me
Tonight nothing's worse than this pain in my heart

And at last here I
Am on the hill overlooking El Paso
I can see Rosa's cantina below
My love is strong and it pushes me onward
Down off the hill to Felina I go
….

Nice example!

 

[EmilyMiller]

You can change tense in a story if you do it correctly.

Yeah - I’ve done that intentionally to accentuate a change in tone. I think it can work, so long as there is a clear break - like “a year earlier” or something

 

[Jmanchu]

I'm a fairly new writer and I'm noticing that in my drafts, I'm not totally consistent on tenses. The pattern seems to be that use past tense to set up the scene but move to present tense for the action. I'm mostly writing (for now) in first person POV.

I just sent back and edited one draft to put it completely in past tense but it doesn't sound right so I'm sitting on it.

Any advice? Thanks.

~BT73

stick to past tense. Tense switching only works under specific circumstances, very specific circumstances. Look at any story. They almost all write in past tense, most of them.

You can do present, but it all has to be present even the setting up the scene you mentioned.

 

[KeithD]

If you are writing in the present, which is fine to do, but including events in the past, I don't see how you can avoid having a mix of tenses. I'm not sure I see the problem as long as your use of the past tense is kept to past events. Maybe a paragraph or two of what you think is the problem?

 

[Reenigam]

Hilarious thread. Grammatical awareness... yes... right.

Most "authors" here, from what I have seen, probably believe the pluperfect to be some kind of exotic fruit...

 

[Boobytrap73]

What an incredible group of people with great advice! Thanks!

Here's an example of what I'm struggling with:

"The next day though, as we straightened up after lunch, he reminded me of what he had asked in the car and he told me that he really did want to know if he was doing everything he could to make me happy in bed. He didn’t want me to be silently dissatisfied (which I appreciated)."

This is part of the set up as the couple is working toward the coming action. Then, as they move to the bedroom:

"When I return to the bedroom, I see that Todd has tied old neckties to each corner of the bed. I pull on one and find that it’s solidly connected to the bedframe."

The switch in tenses is internally consistent (setup vs. sex) but still feels weird to me.

Thanks again.

~BT73

 

[SimonDoom]

What an incredible group of people with great advice! Thanks!

Here's an example of what I'm struggling with:

"The next day though, as we straightened up after lunch, he reminded me of what he had asked in the car and he told me that he really did want to know if he was doing everything he could to make me happy in bed. He didn’t want me to be silently dissatisfied (which I appreciated)."

This is part of the set up as the couple is working toward the coming action. Then, as they move to the bedroom:

"When I return to the bedroom, I see that Todd has tied old neckties to each corner of the bed. I pull on one and find that it’s solidly connected to the bedframe."

The switch in tenses is internally consistent (setup vs. sex) but still feels weird to me.

Thanks again.

~BT73

I'll confess: this doesn't make sense to me. Unless I see how passage one is connected to passage two, I don't know if it's correct. It appears to me you are unnecessarily mixing past and present tense. Why not make them consistent?

Consistency is the key.

 

[THBGato]

Yes, that's definitely odd. Your English teacher would return it with lots of red pen.

Stick to the past, I would.

 

[SimonDoom]

My general two cents on the issue of tenses is that most authors should stick with past tense unless 1) they have a good reason why they want to use present tense and 2) they are careful enough that they know how to be consistent and understand how to blend the simple past tense and present perfect tense in with present tense. Too often, I see authors who try to use present tense, and they don't understand how to use other tenses with it, or they carelessly keep switching back to past tense. Past tense is the standard, default tense for fiction that most of us grew up with. You run a high risk of making mistakes if you use present tense rather than past tense. That doesn't mean it's bad; it just means you're more likely to get it wrong.

 

[Boobytrap73]

"I'll confess: this doesn't make sense to me. Unless I see how passage one is connected to passage two, I don't know if it's correct. It appears to me you are unnecessarily mixing past and present tense. Why not make them consistent?"

Sorry, I didn't make that clear--they were two unconnected excerpts.

But, I think your advice is good and I'm going to re-edit the whole thing to past tense. Thanks.

~BT73

 

[Boobytrap73]

Yes, that's definitely odd. Your English teacher would return it with lots of red pen.

Stick to the past, I would.

Well, the really funny thing here is that I am a teacher and I've got a reputation for heavy use of my red pen. My only excuse is that I'm new to fiction writing and besides the freedom from having to stick to facts and use proper citations, I'm experimenting with voice.

I'm grateful (with a shout-out to the late, great Douglas Adams) that I don't have to incorporate time travel into my use of tenses. Perhaps a good reason for me to avoid writing science fiction?

~BT73

 

[KeithD]

There's absolutely no reason why writing in the present tense should be taboo or avoided. That's unnecessary limited writing advice.

 

[ElectricBlue]

My general two cents on the issue of tenses is that most authors should stick with past tense unless 1) they have a good reason why they want to use present tense and 2) they are careful enough that they know how to be consistent and understand how to blend the simple past tense and present perfect tense in with present tense. Too often, I see authors who try to use present tense, and they don't understand how to use other tenses with it, or they carelessly keep switching back to past tense. Past tense is the standard, default tense for fiction that most of us grew up with. You run a high risk of making mistakes if you use present tense rather than past tense. That doesn't mean it's bad; it just means you're more likely to get it wrong.

Agree this (even though I still haven't gone back and fixed that story with its accidental tense shifts, and never will). On the other hand, I was reading John Banville the other day, and what do I find? Yep, tense shifts within one of his long paragraphs. And I've seen John le Carré do it too.

I'm currently reading Paul Auster's Baumgartner, which is written in present tense and without quotation marks around dialogue. It's a double whammy and comes across as pretentious - look at me, I'm an established author, I can do what I like. Mate, you might be a wanker, or couldn't afford an editor.

I'm only reading it because I paid for the damn book. If I'd borrowed it from a library, I'd stop reading. I might get used to it, but I don't think so.

 

[mildlyaroused]

I love the present tense, and will always defend it. If you like the way it sounds more, I wouldn't steer you away from it.

While it's true that the tense is prominent in YA, you shouldn't let that get to your ego or make you feel bad about using it. The present tense can win and has won prestigious literary prizes - think 'All the Light We Cannot See' and the Pulitzer.

The main reason I enjoy present tense is that I think it's much more beautiful that the past tense. That's in terms of prose, which is micro-level storytelling. If you write it well, the present tense has a poetic, flowing, rhythmic nature to it that I don't think the past tense can ever achieve.

Having said that, it is more difficult to write it for a number of reasons. The first and most obvious is that you'll be used to reading things in the past tense, and until you get enough practice you will make mistakes in terms of basic grammar. That's okay, and with practice it will sort itself out, but mistakes will occur.

The second biggest issue with the present tense is that you have less temporal freedom. You can't refer to events as though it is through hindsight (that is, "I never forgot that day") because events are happening right now.

In terms of switching from the present tense to the past, the past-perfect, the subjunctive tense, etc. - this skill can only be learned with practice. You can read exercises, but you just need to write in the present tense for it to come naturally to you.

 

[mildlyaroused]

I would also add that you most likely already know how to write in the present tense. Think emails, texts, letters, speech. Look at your very own first message on this thread!

I'm a fairly new writer and I'm noticing that in my drafts, I'm not totally consistent on tenses. The pattern seems to be that use past tense to set up the scene but move to present tense for the action. I'm mostly writing (for now) in first person POV.

I just sent back and edited one draft to put it completely in past tense but it doesn't sound right so I'm sitting on it.

This is all written in the present tense, and done so correctly. You refer to past events in the past tense - "I just sent back" - without breaking the present tense.

 

[lustychimera]

The pattern seems to be that use past tense to set up the scene but move to present tense for the action.

I don't see the issue with that. It's hard to say without reading it, though.

Once, I read a memoir for a lady who was trying to write the whole thing in present tense. It was awkward af.

"I meet him in 2009. He's wearing a blue polo...etc"

Present tense doesn't mean that you can't also use past tense. She could have framed it with a present tense scene that she used as a grounding point to tell past tense events, and it would have worked just fine, which is how I'm picturing what you said.

You got a present tense timeline that's constantly moving forward, never backwards. It's set off the very first present tense sentence that your write. So from that sentence onward, anything that refers to an even prior to then needs to be in past tense, and anything beyond that point in the timeline needs to be in future tense.

 

[AlinaX]

I like present tense, but when shifting between past and present, you need to be clear in your own head when 'now' is. The narrator is always in the present moment, and what happened before is past.

The next day, though, as we straightened up after lunch, he reminded me of what he had asked in the car. "I really do want to know if I'm doing everything I can to make you happy in bed," he said. "I don’t want you to be silently dissatisfied." Which I appreciate.

...

I return to the bedroom. Todd has tied old neckties to each corner of the bed. I pull on one - it’s solidly connected to the bedframe.