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Sexless Marriages

AttachedandLonely_UK said:
I'm not about to go into too many details, but after the events of the last few days - and no, no other people involved to my knowledge - I'm determined to start having some fun. I'm going to get to know some women and see what comes of it. I'm tired of "being attached" being another way of wording "being miserable". Its not even that I want to be single, or with someone else - I'm just frustrated and if I'm feeling fulfilled, life at home will be better too. A week without sex should be unusual, a month exceptional. But when a fairly fit, fairly attractive man finds that having sex is exceptional, something is wrong

That probably doesn't make a great deal of sense - but it does in my head :ROFLMAO:
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Sent PM.
 
AttachedandLonely_UK said:
I'm not about to go into too many details, but after the events of the last few days - and no, no other people involved to my knowledge - I'm determined to start having some fun. I'm going to get to know some women and see what comes of it. I'm tired of "being attached" being another way of wording "being miserable". Its not even that I want to be single, or with someone else - I'm just frustrated and if I'm feeling fulfilled, life at home will be better too. A week without sex should be unusual, a month exceptional. But when a fairly fit, fairly attractive man finds that having sex is exceptional, something is wrong

That probably doesn't make a great deal of sense - but it does in my head :ROFLMAO:
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You're not alone ... but finding a FWB is no easy task! I wish I could find someone to help ease my frustration / misery too
 
I'd settle just for a female friend who doesn't know my other half at the moment - and see what develops. I think it's an issue here where people are seeking a quick answer. I'm not, I'm hoping to get to know someone and take things as it comes. If it turns out to be a friendship that simply gets me socialising properly again, that's a great start and there will be more to it eventually - even if it takes a while and I make several non sexual friends along the way to finding it.
 
I dont profess to be either fit or attractive but I feel your pain. It's been close to 18 monthd since my wife even looked at me in thst tone of voice.
 
AttachedandLonely_UK said:
I'd settle just for a female friend who doesn't know my other half at the moment - and see what develops. I think it's an issue here where people are seeking a quick answer. I'm not, I'm hoping to get to know someone and take things as it comes. If it turns out to be a friendship that simply gets me socialising properly again, that's a great start and there will be more to it eventually - even if it takes a while and I make several non sexual friends along the way to finding it.
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I feel your pain it's the pain of so many of us :mad:
 
I'm 66 and have over the last 45 years been to counseling and read more books than i care to count just to make sure my attitude towards this topic was not wrong. My counselor a woman basically said your a typical horny male in our society. Her exact words. Your wife is asexual and marriage counseling will be the most difficult thing you will ever do. Wife walked out on two counselors the min the topic of sex came up. So i poured myself into work. That's where i found my validation. Retirement is a whole new struggle.

Anyways two books that i read amongst the many where written by the same author. What women expect of men and what men expect of women. I remember them because he boiled it down to this. Women's nature is be validated(to feel love) via praise and expressions of gratitude and appreciation. Men's nature is be validated(to feel love) via sex. Unfortunately most women not all women don't understand this nor do they want to understand this. So we pour ourselves into work projects religion you name it looking for validation because the one person we truly want to be validated by is unable to. Sorry for the rambling on. Anyways do love discussing books. I'm seeing more and more women authors trying to help women by telling them it's okay to feel desire and be desired. That they are actually a sexual intimate creation. Maybe the next generation will be better
 
DDBustyBrit said:
I am totally in a sexless marriage and have been pretty much for a few years! We’re out there but we are a bit like unicorns 😂

I am a woman in her 50’s with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy, that’s not normal I’ve been told by female friends the same age and male friends. I should be settling down for my old age with my hormones dying a slow death, but hell no! 😁
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I like the hell no attitude. I hope you are able to find someone to play with. xoxoxo
 
Becaa57 said:
My marriage has been totally sexless for over 10 years now, and even before that sex was so very infrequent. Like DDBustyBrit my sex drive has not decreased and in fact increased as I've "matured"
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let's change that...if you'd like.
 
Any CO guys (719 area) whose cocks are underappreciated REALLY need to contact me! Cum over! I'll make you happy you have a cock!
 
Superfungurl said:
Any CO guys (719 area) whose cocks are underappreciated REALLY need to contact me! Cum over! I'll make you happy you have a cock!
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That's a freaking cool thing you're offering for a group of people that deserve some TLC in their lives. Kudos to you.
 
Going on 12 years sexless here soon and not looking forward to it. It's been so long, I've forgotten what it is like to be with a woman. I often wonder if I'll ever have sex again in my life. Not a happy prospect when you're 50 and have some life left.
 
Hopeful1972 said:
A huge part of me wonders why others (both male and female) seem to get to have sex so easily, whereas it doesn't happen the same for me.
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Dont you get the feeling, at least for me that popular culture and reality are two different things? Media, arts, and literature trying to convince us a particular reality whilst life is reality.
 
AttachedandLonely_UK said:
I'd settle just for a female friend who doesn't know my other half at the moment - and see what develops. I think it's an issue here where people are seeking a quick answer. I'm not, I'm hoping to get to know someone and take things as it comes. If it turns out to be a friendship that simply gets me socialising properly again, that's a great start and there will be more to it eventually - even if it takes a while and I make several non sexual friends along the way to finding it.
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Agreed, I would happily have a friend first and then see what comes.
 
Tweedledude said:
Dont you get the feeling, at least for me that popular culture and reality are two different things? Media, arts, and literature trying to convince us a particular reality whilst life is reality.
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I was more meaning in terms of real people in my life who seem to be getting laid...
 
My wife and I get along great in every aspect except the most important one to me!!! Sex, I don’t think she has ever even thought about having sex. She says I am her only man but I really feel like something happened to her before we met that made her non sexual! I have lots of trust issues with finding a FWB - I have had one female friend in my life since I have been married that I would trust with my life but she was no go on the sex part
 
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