Anyone from the UK?

[AWonkyDonkey]

Well that proves you can't see me.

I'm naked.

Hang on. I just need a minute.

*Shuffles off to the cupboard, sticks a sock over the handle and disappears inside...*

 

[Wriggle]

I used to get a lot of DMs from people assuming I am female.

 

[Bagpipefish46]

Oh, sorry. I've had 3. One from a dude the other day because he said hello and he was new on the forum and I just replied saying hello, which he deemed as an invite to message me. I ignored him. Oops.

See that’s your issue being fussy lol

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Oh, sorry. I've had 3. One from a dude the other day because he said hello and he was new on the forum and I just replied saying hello, which he deemed as an invite to message me. I ignored him. Oops.

See! You can't be ignoring them. Even the weirdos need attention.

I used to get a lot of DMs from people assuming I am female.

You mean you're not?!

Damn it. That means I'll have to re-write my ENTIRE Royal Mail inspired erotic story named "First Class Stamps Are Too Expensive..."

It was going to be a hit too.

 

[Wand3rlust]

I used to get a lot of DMs from people assuming I am female.

You mean you aren't?

 

[Wriggle]

Oh.
Is that why people trusted me ?

 

[Wand3rlust]

Oh.
Is that why people trusted me ?

Oh babe.... noone trusted you....

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Er...

*Tries to open the cupboard door...*

Helloooo? I'm stuck. Can anyone help me? I went for a wank. I er... Can't get out.

*Rattles the handle...*

Anyone?

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Did anyone hear that rattling noise? No? Probably just the wind...

leaves the room

 

[Wand3rlust]

*looks at the key in her hand - lobs it out the window, and turns the radio up*

 

[Bagpipefish46]

*looks at the key in her hand - lobs it out the window, and turns the radio up*

All he’s trying to do is come out of the closet lol

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

*Gives up rattling the door lock.*

They'll find me eventually. They'll miss me and launch a search party. All I have to do is be patient, make sure...

Ooooh! A jelly tot!

 

[Heidi_UK]

*Gives up rattling the door lock.*

They'll find me eventually. They'll miss me and launch a search party. All I have to do is be patient, make sure...

Ooooh! A jelly tot!

Anyone seen my, umm..."special" jellies?

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Special? You're right. It was tasty. I haven't had a Jel... Wait, what's happening to me?

Oh shit. Viagra.

Yes! Now I can break out of this cupboard.

 

[NorthernCardinal]

Special? You're right. It was tasty. I haven't had a Jel... Wait, what's happening to me?

Oh shit. Viagra.

Yes! Now I can break out of this cupboard.

Battering the door down with your rock hard donkey dick? Eyyyyorrrreeeee

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

*Backs away slowly from @NorthernCardinal...*

I can tell you're enjoying this faaaar too much.

*Legs it.*

 

[Bagpipefish46]

Battering the door down with your rock hard donkey dick? Eyyyyorrrreeeee

He’s just picking the lock with it

 

[AmandaKellyUK]

good morning (just) you crazy bunch of UK’ers

I can see a donkey dick has just been mentioned so I will assume the usual level of madness has occurred here earlier today!

 

[Heidi_UK]

good morning (just) you crazy bunch of UK’ers

I can see a donkey dick has just been mentioned so I will assume the usual level of madness has occurred here earlier today!

It's not all bins and vagina fleas!

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

good morning (just) you crazy bunch of UK’ers

I can see a donkey dick has just been mentioned so I will assume the usual level of madness has occurred here earlier today!

I can't help it if everyone wants a piece of my dick.

It's hard being this attractive.

 

[AmandaKellyUK]

It's not all bins and vagina fleas!

Vagina fleas? No I’m not asking……

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Vagina fleas? No I’m not asking……

No please don't. I still have PTSD.

 

[HornyKatie1979]

Oi! Don't tar us all with the same brush.

I check the profiles of anyone I chat to.

Anyway, women can be a bit weird. I got a random PM last week from a woman. I quote - "I have an itchy vagina. I must have fleas in it."

...

That was it.

I told you not to tell anyone about that

 

[Bagpipefish46]

No please don't. I still have PTSD.

Is that the cream to help clear them up

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Right. I'm off. I have to go pretend to be an adult.

Have fun and behave... mostly.