Emily’s NEW positivity and being nice to each other thread

[Zootonius]

We need some humor

Doctor said I had onomatopoeia. I asked what it was.

He said it's exactly what it sounds like.

 

[Djmac1031]

We need some humor

Why do women from Alabama not do Reverse Cowgirl position?

Because they would never turn their back on family.

(To my southern friends, my most sincere apologies. But come on, that's funny.)

 

[Zootonius]

Why do women from Alabama not do Reverse Cowgirl position?

Because they would never turn their back on family.

(To my southern friends, my most sincere apologies. But come on, that's funny.)

How do you know if you're a redneck?

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

 

[Phantom300]

How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

We need some

Elderly couple hours to their doctor for their annual physical.
The man expresses concern his wife may be getting hard of hearing.
Doctor advises he whisper something to her a few times increasing the volume until she responds.
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
No answer.
Two, three, four, a half dozen times, each time a bit louder.
Finally the old woman spins around and screams, “Dammit, Henry, I’ve told you six times we’re having pork chops!”

 

[Zootonius]

Elderly couple hours to their doctor for their annual physical.
The man expresses concern his wife may be getting hard of hearing.
Doctor advises he whisper something to her a few times increasing the volume until she responds.
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
No answer.
Two, three, four, a half dozen times, each time a bit louder.
Finally the old woman spins around and screams, “Dammit, Henry, I’ve told you six times we’re having pork chops!”

In college, I rented a little cottage behind an elderly couple's house. She was effectively blind an he was effectively deaf. He'd be in the back yard, raking, and oblivious to calls of "Ernest... Ernest!" for minutes on end.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

We need some humor

Elderly couple goes to the doctor for their annual physical. doctor tells them they're both in good health and asks if they have any other concerns.
Old woman blushes and says, "Well, it's kind of personal, but I've noticed the first time Henry and I have sex, I catch a bit of a chill and the second time, I tend to sweat a bit."
Old man pipes in, "Don't know why your surprised. The first time was new years and the second was Fourth of July."

 

[Zootonius]

AI images are slowly getting better. Catch light in the eyes, good. Individual strands of hair that give a sense of realism and missed in earlier works. And subtle imperfections in skin (zoom in). Then it screws up the city skyline on the left. I guess a correct horizon is too much.

https://w.wallhaven.cc/full/kx/wallhaven-kxkdm7.png
(and that I use pretty girls for examples is just a coincidence)
source: https://wallhaven.cc/w/kxkdm7

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

AI images are slowly getting better. Catch light in the eyes, good. Individual strands of hair that give a sense of realism and missed in earlier works. And subtle imperfections in skin (zoom in). Then it screws up the city skyline on the left. I guess a correct horizon is too much.

https://w.wallhaven.cc/full/kx/wallhaven-kxkdm7.png
(and that I use pretty girls for examples is just a coincidence)
source: https://wallhaven.cc/w/kxkdm7

The greater the mass of an object or objects, the greater the gravitational pull. Higher gravitational pull can bend spacetime... Physics...

 

[Zootonius]

The greater the mass of an object or objects, the greater the gravitational pull. Higher gravitational pull can bend spacetime... Physics...

That explains M.C. Escher.

 

[EmilyMiller]

And breathe, Emily. Just breathe. And remember the good things. So many good things.

 

[StillStunned]

submit a story to the @AwkwardMD / @Omenainen meat grinder review

I'm starting to feel like Zaphod Beeblebrox coming out of the Total Perspective Vortex, and it's time to eat the fairy cake.

 

[Seadog777]

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Wednesday.

You're halfway through the work week, so that's always a plus.

 

[StillStunned]

I've got an awful cold. The positive news is that I got to cancel my gym session.

 

[lavendersilk]

I've got an awful cold. The positive news is that I got to cancel my gym session.

I hope you feel better soon.

 

[onehitwanda]

I've got an awful cold. The positive news is that I got to cancel my gym session.

What is a cat without his/her/it's catisthenics though?

 

[StillStunned]

What is a cat without his/her/it's catisthenics though?

A furry ball of smugness?

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I've got an awful cold. The positive news is that I got to cancel my gym session.

Warm bourbon with honey and lemon. Cuddle with a warn fuzzy and read some smut. doctors orders...

 

[EmilyMiller]

Warm bourbon with honey and lemon. Cuddle with a warn fuzzy and read some smut. doctors orders...

I’ve not felt much like reading smut . Or writing smut.

Em

 

[StillStunned]

I’ve not felt much like reading smut . Or writing smut.

Em

That's what the honey is for. Helps it go down.

I have three stories in my head, all arguing that they need to be written. The wife's out of the country for a fortnight, so I have all the time in the world to write.

 

[JackVettriano]

It’s really cold here in Scotland too, wish I could snuggle up with a hot toddy and a good story.
I love it when I want to be horny and hard but take it slow and enjoy the burn, the slow tease and then after hours and hours get hard and throbbing and crazy horny!!

Slow and steady is amazing, so I’m going to follow this page and enjoy relaxing here.

 

[EmilyMiller]

That's what the honey is for. Helps it go down.

I know I’m whinging but not 100% over the vaccines (think the flu shot was bad this year) and just a minor cold makes me feel achy and miserable. Touches of long COVID rearing its head as well maybe. At least I’m not a man, just think how much worse it could be .

I have three stories in my head, all arguing that they need to be written. The wife's out of the country for a fortnight, so I have all the time in the world to write.

I have Ch 3 of A Good Girl Gone Bad 2/3 written an the beginnings of a very lightweight sex romp. Plus a few ideas with outlines and a story that has been 1/3 written for months.

Can’t focus on any of them.

Feel a bit like that with work too. Just doing mindless admin as my brain can’t cope with anything requiring effort or thought.

[insert world’s tiniest violin here]

Em

 

[djrip]

I know I’m whinging but not 100% over the vaccines (think the flu shot was bad this year) and just a minor cold makes me feel achy and miserable. Touches of long COVID rearing its head as well maybe. At least I’m not a man, just think how much worse it could be .

I have Ch 3 of A Good Girl Gone Bad 2/3 written an the beginnings of a very lightweight sex romp. Plus a few ideas with outlines and a story that has been 1/3 written for months.

Can’t focus on any of them.

Feel a bit like that with work too. Just doing mindless admin as my brain can’t cope with anything requiring effort or thought.

[insert world’s tiniest violin here]

Em

Sounds like the dozen and a half stories I haven't made any progress on in weeks

 

[lavendersilk]

Sorry for the subject change but... is there anything better than smashed avocado on rye toast with a fried egg? No? Didn't think so.

 

[StillStunned]

I know I’m whinging but not 100% over the vaccines (think the flu shot was bad this year) and just a minor cold makes me feel achy and miserable. Touches of long COVID rearing its head as well maybe. At least I’m not a man, just think how much worse it could be .

So much worse, you have no idea!

I have Ch 3 of A Good Girl Gone Bad 2/3 written an the beginnings of a very lightweight sex romp. Plus a few ideas with outlines and a story that has been 1/3 written for months.

Can’t focus on any of them.

I've decided to focus on something nice and uncomplicated. A Voyeur story of two women talking on the phone as they both ogle the gardener.

Feel a bit like that with work too. Just doing mindless admin as my brain can’t cope with anything requiring effort or thought.

[insert world’s tiniest violin here]

Em

I've barely done any work all week. And I'm self-employed, so my violin is slightly larger. No work means no money. Still not a very big violin, though.