What the hell…Chilly’s little spot on lit

[snexxer]

Not a Debbie downer moment but just a thought of thoughts…

Packing up this house is harder than I thought. Not just the physical act of getting rid of all this stuff. So many freaking memories. So many great moments and failures.

Realizing that I am the common denominator in all my failed relationships…my therapist would say that’s not true but how could it not be???

Amazing how you can make your life fit into a dozen Rubbermaid totes.

We all blame ourselves for failures. Trust me its easy to do. But in a relationship there are always 2 parties, other than if one cheats or lies, there is equal responsibility.
Its what I've been realising over the past few years anyhow.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Dear Chillygirl,

I must say, it’s easy to be down on ourselves when major changes happen in our lives. Is it moving forward blindly that scares you? To HAVE TO change? Or a necessary step in this change where a major adjustment is needed on your part?

In different ways, we all deal with these things differently. Until the last few months, I’ve been sticking my head in the sand, ignoring the need for change of habits, until I accepted, NO ONE ELSE WILL HELP ME. This is a journey I’ll need to make myself because of no one else (my siblings) wants the responsibility of taking care of things.

Do I continue to hate my siblings, or do I try to make progress by forgiving them and focus on what is needed? Holding onto my bitterness is what got me in this spot in the first place. Changing my paradigm of thinking is helping me to release the hatred for them (forgiving is so dang hard, but it is for me, not them) and keep focusing on what I can do to be of help to the one that truly NEEDS it. This includes being of help to myself to release my bad habits and allow positivity to dwell in that open spot made.

In no way am I trivializing your issues. I’m sharing a piece of myself to show you how I’m trying to deal with the issues at hand in my world. Sometimes I’m good, a lot of times I fail. I’m not perfect. There’s a mountain of a load to deal with and I’m taking snail steps forward. At times, I move 10 steps back in my personal life needs because of what’s required and what’s at stake. I haven’t stopped pressing forward though (or at least trying to press forward).

I get overwhelmed with the amount of work required a lot. I’m a constant work in progress. Where I thought I moved forward, I lag behind in other areas. Today, I plan to do something nice for myself, in spite of my downward spiral. Maybe this will inspire me to keep going and not stop.

I am planning to get cleaned up and dressed starting by 7am today, and keep moving forward. It remains to be seen if anything will be accomplished today, but I’ll try to begin. Maybe I’ll start working on those 20-30 pounds I picked up since March, who knows? I’ll try to put in an effort to begin somewhere for progress.

I hope this helps anyone who reads this. I apologize for the length of this as well. I get long winded at times.

BCC

 

[Chillygirl]

Whoa this was all a bit unexpected to wake up to! Thank you all, I do appreciate it.

I should clarify for the most part I’m excited and happy. I’m moving into a duplex with my parents and I’ll be helping them out a lot more. My dad had a recent fall that woke us all up as to their age and needs. It’s also a safe place for me to heal and rebuild.

I hit a really hard patch last week. Ironically it’s was the same thing that caused me to start this thread…it’s something I have to set aside for now though and deal with when things slow down. And I most definitely do want to work through it, I just need time to focus on it.

It was just a moment…

 

[Chillygirl]

Do we have the same therapist and we don't even KNOW it? DAMN!

Them therapists! They get you every time!

 

[Chillygirl]

We are always going to have good memories mixed in with bad ones, that's just a fact. I think what we do with them is the important part.

I don't apply this to my ex-husband, but a Litster once told me not to cry for what we had to put aside, our feelings and desires, as he left Lit...but, to remember and smile at what we had. If only for a little while. My Bear was a very wise man.

I've tried to continue that, and sometimes it's hard, but it really has helped me appreciate the people who come into my life, if only for a little while.

Maybe these words might help you, too.

Great words. Thank you

 

[Chillygirl]

Because you're too fucking hard on yourself. Bad bitches forgive themselves.

Bad bitches don’t cry!

Thank you for the reminder

 

[Chillygirl]

@BlackCaramelCreme thank you for sharing that with me. Forgiveness is hard and it’s definitely for ourselves. Hard to do things for ourselves. I’ve started making appointments for pedicures at least once a month. And getting a bit more dressed up than usual.

I know I need to change the way I communicate and the things I get insecure about. I could say well if he didn’t do that or if he communicated more clearly it would be different but I can’t change the he’s. Like you said it’s a work in progress. I get better every day but it’s hard and sometimes scary.

It’ll be ok though. Eventually it’ll be better than ok. One day it’ll be great.

 

[TwoTaTango]

You just need a little Jordan Love magic today ...Remember it is " Him " who dropped the ball Chilly not you , You are strong and will be much better for it ....

 

[snexxer]

@BlackCaramelCreme thank you for sharing that with me. Forgiveness is hard and it’s definitely for ourselves. Hard to do things for ourselves. I’ve started making appointments for pedicures at least once a month. And getting a bit more dressed up than usual.

I know I need to change the way I communicate and the things I get insecure about. I could say well if he didn’t do that or if he communicated more clearly it would be different but I can’t change the he’s. Like you said it’s a work in progress. I get better every day but it’s hard and sometimes scary.

It’ll be ok though. Eventually it’ll be better than ok. One day it’ll be great.

You need to remember you're great. Remember to love yourself and love will come to you. For the rest.

https://i.ibb.co/YP7tRct/9781095767627-uk.jpg

 

[Chillygirl]

My therapist must have gotten a hold of my TikTok

 

[Gentledom45]

My therapist must have gotten a hold of my TikTok
View attachment 2274392

Think we are seeing same therapist lol. Go Packers

 

[Xerxes82]

Packer win today! It was mostly ass ugly, and had to rely on NO missing that kick at the end. But a hell of a comeback.

I was actually really impressed by the young uns today. No quit in them.

 

[Chillygirl]

Packer win today! It was mostly ass ugly, and had to rely on NO missing that kick at the end. But a hell of a comeback.

I was actually really impressed by the young uns today. No quit in them.

Same! It’s a young team and it’s gonna be a couple years before we really see some steady success but today was good! They corrected and came back.

 

[Dribble]

People underestimate the role of luck. This is true in football...and equally important in relationships.

 

[Chillygirl]

People underestimate the role of luck. This is true in football...and equally important in relationships.

Lol yes we were lucky they missed that last kick!

 

[Chillygirl]

I should be packing but I decided an early bedtime was a better idea. Goodnight Lit!

 

[FlyingThruLife]

I should be packing but I decided an early bedtime was a better idea. Goodnight Lit!

Sweet dreams Chile

 

[Chillygirl]

My daughter came over today and helped me clear out the “extra bedroom” you know the one where everything throws random crap. Took 4 hours but we got it done. 2 truck loads to the donation center.

I got a little teary watching people pick through my life when my daughter looked at me and said “I know it’s sad but this is stuff we don’t need and you have to wonder what some of these people are going through to need our extras.”

She’s such a smart, sweet young woman.

 

[barefootgirl69]

My daughter came over today and helped me clear out the “extra bedroom” you know the one where everything throws random crap. Took 4 hours but we got it done. 2 truck loads to the donation center.

I got a little teary watching people pick through my life when my daughter looked at me and said “I know it’s sad but this is stuff we don’t need and you have to wonder what some of these people are going through to need our extras.”

She’s such a smart, sweet young woman.

She is a very wise young lady.

 

[snexxer]

My daughter came over today and helped me clear out the “extra bedroom” you know the one where everything throws random crap. Took 4 hours but we got it done. 2 truck loads to the donation center.

I got a little teary watching people pick through my life when my daughter looked at me and said “I know it’s sad but this is stuff we don’t need and you have to wonder what some of these people are going through to need our extras.”

She’s such a smart, sweet young woman.

Also remember, when one chapter ends, another begins.

Your story is a long way from being over, there will be wonderful things over that horizon.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

My daughter came over today and helped me clear out the “extra bedroom” you know the one where everything throws random crap. Took 4 hours but we got it done. 2 truck loads to the donation center.

I got a little teary watching people pick through my life when my daughter looked at me and said “I know it’s sad but this is stuff we don’t need and you have to wonder what some of these people are going through to need our extras.”

She’s such a smart, sweet young woman.

Love you my friend.

 

[Cogan]

My daughter came over today and helped me clear out the “extra bedroom” you know the one where everything throws random crap. Took 4 hours but we got it done. 2 truck loads to the donation center.

I got a little teary watching people pick through my life when my daughter looked at me and said “I know it’s sad but this is stuff we don’t need and you have to wonder what some of these people are going through to need our extras.”

She’s such a smart, sweet young woman.

But it felt good coming home again and find all the space?

She sure is very wise, and spot on right.

 

[Chillygirl]

So therapy was yesterday…my homework is to tell the truth. Don’t just push my feelings down and keep quiet. Any idea how hard that is??? Especially when the last 20+ years of my life I’ve been told to shut up, my opinion doesn’t matter, I’m wrong or I get in trouble. It’s easier to just stay quiet.

And no more ignoring my feelings. I’m supposed to listen to my body and acknowledge my feelings. If I want to cry just cry. Um I’m kinda busy right now and don’t have time for a mental breakdown…so I was told to have mini ones….this is gonna be a wild ride!

 

[Cogan]

So therapy was yesterday…my homework is to tell the truth. Don’t just push my feelings down and keep quiet. Any idea how hard that is??? Especially when the last 20+ years of my life I’ve been told to shut up, my opinion doesn’t matter, I’m wrong or I get in trouble. It’s easier to just stay quiet.

And no more ignoring my feelings. I’m supposed to listen to my body and acknowledge my feelings. If I want to cry just cry. Um I’m kinda busy right now and don’t have time for a mental breakdown…so I was told to have mini ones….this is gonna be a wild ride!

It's not easy to have the time to deal with things that falls in your lap when you least expect it.
I send long distance hugs!

 

[Chillygirl]

I’ve gotten 3 warnings today about the full moon and emotions running high this weekend. I was told no fighting! Save all arguments for Monday. No opening old sounds! So I’ll be in the corner with my mouth shut!