just wanting to run this by someone

[twisted_kitten]

ok i'm new on this site and i honestly want someone to tell me what they think about this new idea i have for a story but i'm unsure if it will have any effect on the readers.

ok here it goes its about a chick named Joe ( don't ask how i came up with the name) shes lost trying to get home after going to an after party after prom. she has been drooling over this guy seth sense the beginning of high school but never got up the nerve to talk to him.
well anyway shes lost trying to find her way back to the main road. but finds that shes lost soon she bumps into seth. she thinks her dream of being with her tall dark and hansom is about to come true when she finds herself raped and half naked.

 

[ShenX]

Has promise, just change the main character's name into something less "masculine"

Also, just my 2 cents for the ending:

Either she can

- Fall in love with this domineering version of Seth, becoming herself a Sub.

-or-

- She can try for some ironic revenge (Her raping Seth or something to that extent)

 

[emap]

What is wrong with Joe? I knew a Josephene and she wanted to be called Joe, only the teachers on the first day of class called her Josephine, well her mom to when she did something bad but well heck mom's do that.

Twisted it has some promise but you gotta explain why she would be walking to an after prom party, was she not at prom? Heck either way why on earth walk?

Also, I don't think Seth taking her would be exactly a rape since she was hot for him anyway, so more or less he just took control of the situation and decided she was having sex with him.

Now if you want to keep the rape part in I think best way to do that, she is walking around tryig to find the party, why she is walking needing to be decided still. When a man comes out of the dark and grabs her, she starts screaming and kicking and clawing gets forced to the ground. Her clothes torn off and he is about to enter when Seth arrives beats him off then has his fun as payment. That way, you get the rape in and still not making the guy she's lusting after terribly bad.

 

[snooper]

... a chick named Joe ...

Has promise, just change the main character's name into something less "masculine"

What's wrong with Jo as a normal female abbreviation of Josephine?

 

[twisted_kitten]

thanks

you guys are really helping me out here i'm going to change the fact that joe is walking but i haven't figured out how. i got a few pms saying i should add in a possible vampire or something like that. not bad i might go with it and see were it takes me i'm. if you guys have any more ideas that you think or know would mix well please pm me

 

[emap]

Well since it is prom ideally she would be driven by her date. Though I suppose she could of come alone or drove so she is the one driving. Would make it easier if she is alone if you want to keep the rape part in.

Now if you want to work with the vampire idea, well then it doesn't really matter how many are with her. Also I think the best way to add the vampire, he takes her bites her during sex of course and then she goes to Seth and does the same to him.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

My car wouldnt start after the prom...so we walked to my girl's house to get another car. The scenario is plausible.

Any storyline will work with the right twists and turns. I wrote a story today about your garden variety abduction-rape fantasy. Except I like to add a dash of TWILIGHT ZONE to the stew.

Woman at a bar discloses she has abduction-rape fantasy. Not a problem. Her friends arrange it. She awakes the next morning tied to a bed in an old house out in the country.

Yoo-hoo, anyone home to ravage me?

Of course. Several homeless men who use the old house as a refuge. Pennies from Heaven.

Or I might have tied her up and tossed her into a 'carnie coach' for the carnie workers to play with across Alabama.

 

[starrkers]

She has a fight with her prom date and ends up walking out...

 

[emap]

Ooooo Starrkers that is a good idea, would also lead to being alone for whatever is decided happens.

 

[1677]

How about she's walking home and finds Seth being beaten up so she strips off her prom dress to reveal "Super Naked Woman" and rescues Seth then she aids his recovery by giving him pussy to mouth resuscitation

 

[Monazwx]

Or I might have tied her up and tossed her into a 'carnie coach' for the carnie workers to play with across Alabama.

I am the only one who doesn't know what a 'carnie coach' is?

 

[Fantasies_only]

you guys are really helping me out here i'm going to change the fact that joe is walking but i haven't figured out how. i got a few pms saying i should add in a possible vampire or something like that. not bad i might go with it and see were it takes me i'm. if you guys have any more ideas that you think or know would mix well please pm me

You could go with the old cliche of Seth driving Joe to a theater, fast food place, or something like that, and in the middle of nowhere, "run out of gas".

The other cliche is a late night makeout session off the road gone wrong.
Seth has a flat tire, but no spare.
When he gets to a nearby cabin for help, a creepy young man comes out of the shadows.
You might add modern technology like GPS tracking, which makes the stranger seem even more creepy, like a stalker/slasher.

 

[Fantasies_only]

I am the only one who doesn't know what a 'carnie coach' is?

A sort of camper for traveling circus con-men, freaks, and snake oil salesmen.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Watch how much violence you put in. . . Rape isn't "allowed" *coughbullshitcough* at Lit. . . It's called Non-consent/Reluctance, but... this is where it gets confusing... Non-consent in my opinion is RAPE. However... the girl has to enjoy part of it sometime during the entire episode. *sigh and shakes head*

I wrote a violent rape and the story was rejected, because of the violence and it was obvious the girl didn't like it. I have it posted in a thread on Lit though: Passing of the Crown

I wrote a story where the girl was raped by a group, Sentorial Secrets Ch. 09 but she started getting "wet" and though she hated how her body responded... because she was getting "wet" and she "came" (even though she didn't want to)... the story was accepted. Another example of "rape" that is allowed on Lit: Losing Control

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

A Carnie Coach is a trailer partitioned into sleeping cubicles. Maybe 8 feet x 6 feet. The cubicle includes a bed, one window, a desk, and storage space.

 

[gunhilltrain]

ok i'm new on this site and i honestly want someone to tell me what they think about this new idea i have for a story but i'm unsure if it will have any effect on the readers.

ok here it goes its about a chick named Joe ( don't ask how i came up with the name) shes lost trying to get home after going to an after party after prom. she has been drooling over this guy seth sense the beginning of high school but never got up the nerve to talk to him.
well anyway shes lost trying to find her way back to the main road. but finds that shes lost soon she bumps into seth. she thinks her dream of being with her tall dark and hansom is about to come true when she finds herself raped and half naked.

I don't want to hurt your feelings, but the readers are going to notice your grammatical mistakes if submit a story in the condition that your message is in.. Let's just say that they are blatant. In fact, there is good chance that the site will reject the story for that reason alone. You need to get an editor if you feel that you can't do better. Sorry.

Also, the site will not take kindly to a rape scene. Their rules are rather inconsistent, but probably if she didn't enjoy what happened to her, it's not going to to be accepted.

 

[twisted_kitten]

I don't want to hurt your feelings, but the readers are going to notice your grammatical mistakes if submit a story in the condition that your message is in.. Let's just say that they are blatant. In fact, there is good chance that the site will reject the story for that reason alone. You need to get an editor if you feel that you can't do better. Sorry.

Also, the site will not take kindly to a rape scene. Their rules are rather inconsistent, but probably if she didn't enjoy what happened to her, it's not going to to be

This was posted a vary long time ago and have sense moved on from this idea. But thank you for your wisdom. I have invested in an editor as well as some needed writing classes.

 

[gunhilltrain]

This was posted a vary long time ago and have sense moved on from this idea. But thank you for your wisdom. I have invested in an editor as well as some needed writing classes.

Yes, I didn't see that the original was posted 2007! Then somebody revived the thread a day ago; I don't know how they even found it, or what inspired them to reply. I see on your profile that you did submit something in 2017. Do you wish to get back into writing for Lit?

I don't think the site ever removes old profiles.

 

[twisted_kitten]

Yes, I didn't see that the original was posted 2007! Then somebody revived the thread a day ago; I don't know how they even found it, or what inspired them to reply. I see on your profile that you did submit something in 2017. Do you wish to get back into writing for Lit?

I don't think the site ever removes old profiles.

It does not. I do alot of writing now more foe myself then foe others. But I may decide to post another in the future.

 

[gunhilltrain]

It does not. I do alot of writing now more foe myself then foe others. But I may decide to post another in the future.

They seem to have enough to do besides looking at old profiles. I think about two-million people have registered here since the start (2001?).

 

[twisted_kitten]

They seem to have enough to do besides looking at old profiles. I think about two-million people have registered here since the start (2001?).

One would think, yet they still found this and revived it. I wish I could delete the thread. But I have yet to discover how.

 

[gunhilltrain]

One would think, yet they still found this and revived it. I wish I could delete the thread. But I have yet to discover how.

It's no big deal that it's still there. There might be some way for the moderators to delete it. Anybody here know about that? Bring up the topic in Author's Hangout; somebody over there should know the answer.

 

[Jmanchu]

ok i'm new on this site and i honestly want someone to tell me what they think about this new idea i have for a story but i'm unsure if it will have any effect on the readers.

ok here it goes its about a chick named Joe ( don't ask how i came up with the name) shes lost trying to get home after going to an after party after prom. she has been drooling over this guy seth sense the beginning of high school but never got up the nerve to talk to him.
well anyway shes lost trying to find her way back to the main road. but finds that shes lost soon she bumps into seth. she thinks her dream of being with her tall dark and hansom is about to come true when she finds herself raped and half naked.

A chick named Joe? Or is it, "Jo"? Joe is short for masculine names, Jo is feminine friendly. Also, that story sounds pretty... twisted, Twisted Kitten.
My thoughts would be what happens after that? Somehow a story like that couldn't just end like that, especially if it's an attack like it sounds like. There would have to be satisfying closure of some sort after, story-wise.

EDIT: Nvm I just realized it's an old post.