Thoughts from an older man....

[K0fcali]

So true! Men get so many stupid ideas from porn and then believe that what they see in porn is reality. Porn has done a tremendous disservice to women in general and transgender women especially.

So a group of women (pornstars) fucked it up for everyone else???

 

[K0fcali]

I am 58 and my love/lust for young, gorgeous women has never diminished. Nowadays, because of the technology, we see their images all the time. When one such image makes my heart ache, or my sex drive go to warp factor 10, I always have the same thought: how could I, a humble nobody-in-particular, but a nice man and true gentleman ever even interest this girl?
First, they are often making so much money from their OnlyFans or other pay sites that they certainly don't need a man's financial support, not to mention that precisely because they are so stunning, rich men must offer them the moon and the stars all the time.
I'm not saying I would want a relationship that was based on a financial transaction, I'm saying that in a certain way, the empowerment of women has kind of ruined traditional avenues a man could take to establish a rapport with a woman he fancied.
What is to be done? I actually have quite a lot to offer a young woman, I'm alluding to ways in which I could improve the quality of her life and save her time, while also loving her and receiving love in return. But, the young ones either expect too much, or know they can get it themselves and so are closed to the entreaties of nice men like me, or have gotten caught up in the wave of straight white man hatred that has erupted these recent years.
What is to be done...

Talk to the fisherman not the fish to learn how to catch a fish. Stop making excuses as to why things are unfair for you. Stop being a simp and valueing selfish women just because they are attractive. You give off weird creepy vibes. Just pay a hooker. If youre broke make some $$ then buy a hooker. Youre a man stop sounding like a bitch!

 

[Escierto]

So a group of women (pornstars) fucked it up for everyone else???

Definitely not. Most porn is made by men for men. The women who perform in porn have very little control over what is produced.

 

[Escierto]

Yes but who is really the victim of such a distorted reality? Porn wouldnt exist if women didnt objectify themselves for mens pleasure. Women today are less and less qualified for relationships.

Really? Look at men today. Sick, violent, twisted losers with a sense of entitlement and no concept of how to care for the world or other people. Men are like a disease in today’s world destroying everything and everyone in sight. I look at most men with nothing but contempt and loathing. They can fucking go to hell.

 

[K0fcali]

Wow who is the violent bitter one? I feel the same way about Lot of women but i still adore them. I would never wish them harm or damn them to hell. I know i am the problem and need to work on myself. You should seek professional therapy. I am sorry for what ever you have been thru.

 

[K0fcali]

Really? Look at men today. Sick, violent, twisted losers with a sense of entitlement and no concept of how to care for the world or other people. Men are like a disease in today’s world destroying everything and everyone in sight. I look at most men with nothing but contempt and loathing. They can fucking go to hell.

So your solution is to act like the men you claim to hate? Idk sounds like your jealous.

 

[KatieDoes]

Talk to the fisherman not the fish to learn how to catch a fish. Stop making excuses as to why things are unfair for you. Stop being a simp and valueing selfish women just because they are attractive. You give off weird creepy vibes. Just pay a hooker. If youre broke make some $$ then buy a hooker. Youre a man stop sounding like a bitch!

This is straight from the angry incel/Andrew Tate textbook, and it’s laughably stupid.


People only ask fishermen instead of fish…… because Fish. Can’t. Talk.

Women are actual people, and are able to speak and communicate our wants and needs. Men worth spending time with will get to spend time with women, because they don’t treat us like fish to be caught with bait and a hook.

 

[Inthesewalls]

So your solution is to act like the men you claim to hate? Idk sounds like your jealous.

Hey dude are you ok? You seem to be getting very emotional in this thread- very triggered.

 

[K0fcali]

I'm great. Thank you for asking. Am I not allowed to have emotions? Or is it okay as long as I don't express them?

 

[pink]

Really? Look at men today. Sick, violent, twisted losers with a sense of entitlement and no concept of how to care for the world or other people. Men are like a disease in today’s world destroying everything and everyone in sight. I look at most men with nothing but contempt and loathing. They can fucking go to hell.

Dang, what kind of men do you hang with to have become so hateful? Men are great, not all, of course. I love men and this is coming from someone who is really only friends with them.

 

[Escierto]

Dang, what kind of men do you hang with to have become so hateful? Men are great, not all, of course. I love men and this is coming from someone who is really only friends with them.

You must be living like an ostrich with your head in the sand. Here in the US every single day some man is murdering his family or a group of strangers in a public place. Men commit almost all of the violent crimes. No, men are not great. Many men hate and fear women and spend all their time trying to control and intimidate them. If you are a woman and you have not had a man use force or intimidation against you, then you are living a charmed life. Let’s hope your luck holds out.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Here in the US every single day some man is murdering his family or a group of strangers in a public place. Men commit almost all of the violent crimes. No, men are not great. Many men hate and fear women and spend all their time trying to control and intimidate them.

I prefere people to be judged by their own behaviour and not as part of a group.
Even if it wasn’t part of what I find right and fair, it would still be enlightened self interest because zooming out to a bigger picture, we all belong to a group which contains assholes.

If you are a woman and you have not had a man use force or intimidation against you

I am and I have. Certainly not by the majority of men I have met though.
The majority of those who have stepped in to help me in the kind of situation you mention, have been men too.

 

[Escierto]

I prefere people to be judged by their own behaviour and not as part of a group.
Even if it wasn’t part of what I find right and fair, it would still be enlightened self interest because zooming out to a bigger picture, we all belong to a group which contains assholes.




I am and I have. Certainly not by the majority of men I have met though.
The majority of those who have stepped in to help me in the kind of situation you mention, have been men too.

Well, then you are living a charmed life. Let us hope it always remains so.

 

[KatieDoes]

I think it’s quite likely that the more marginalized a person is, or the people closest to them are, the more likely they are to have experienced violence or threats of violence from strangers.

While, of course, not all men are violent, there’s no way to predict with certainty which ones will react that way.

 

[K0fcali]

Definitely not. Most porn is made by men for men. The women who perform in porn have very little control over what is produced.

They could control if they participate or not. They are accomplices in the crime not some innocent victims of it. Its understandable for men to cater to their fantasies. Not as an excuse but as an explanation I get why men would see women that way but the women should know better since they are women themselves.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

LMAO ! I guarantee beandip didn't expect this thread to take a life of its own. I love the over analysis of it. Every single person has their own experiences with men and women alike. We all seem to know what is right. In theory yes.Ok we are all experts. Lol
There are people who should not be giving advice. Especially certain people who shall remain nameless who is a constant male basher on this site. I refuse to engage with this person because it's pointless. Is she a timid person in real life who feels dominated by her spouse ? Or is she an overbearing shrew who's spouse can't get a word in edge wise ?
I will be attacked now by the usual suspects ( corn anyone ) I'm sure you know all about me. Let the analysis begin....LMAO !

 

[ace195008]

Thank you JustMollymolly, thanks to the Internet. Escierto man I dont know your age, but crime and bad behavior isn’t just a guy thing it’s a people thing.

 

[SlutAddicted]

I think it’s quite likely that the more marginalized a person is, or the people closest to them are, the more likely they are to have experienced violence or threats of violence from strangers.

While, of course, not all men are violent, there’s no way to predict with certainty which ones will react that way.

It is the unpredictability that presents the biggest problem I expect. Not all men are violent or misogynist, but the ones who are can have a very detrimental impact on women. Given the prevalence of problematic men and the consequences they can have for women it just isn't realistic for women to give every man the benefit of the doubt. She need not jump to a negative assumption, but she does need to protect herself from its possibility.

Years ago I remember my wife and I running from our car to our front door during a downpour. A guy happened to be walking his two very large dogs off leash. Seeing us run somehow triggered them and so they chased us barking and behaving in a way that was not friendly. When I told him to get his dogs under control he adopted a shitty attitude and talked about how they are not dangerous dogs. I am a dog lover and quite attuned to a dog's disposition. With these two I couldn't tell. I wasn't certain that they were likely to attack but I wasn't certain that they weren't either. And it emphatically was not our responsibility to take that chance at risk of physical harm. And saying so does not mean I am disparaging all dogs.

The idea that I shouldn't be concerned because he - a total stranger - was comfortable that they were not dangerous is absolutely asinine. I think that is kind of what guys sound like when we get all pissy because our behaviour makes women inclined to be cautious or not want to give us the benefit of the doubt. A woman doing that isn't saying I am a bad person because I am a male. She is living the reality that the vast majority of people likely to do her harm are male so steps are required to earn her confidence or for her to shelter herself from risk.

 

[ace195008]

Hey @SlutAddicted at 70+ I have seen a lot of people and worked with a lot and also been through a lot. Including a near death, had a wife drop dead in front of me, cancer, maybe these events humble you. One can not generalize about any specific gender. I have ran into guys that sucked and women too. I feel many of us are molded by our upbringing, this of course is my opinion.

 

[Escierto]

It is the unpredictability that presents the biggest problem I expect. Not all men are violent or misogynist, but the ones who are can have a very detrimental impact on women. Given the prevalence of problematic men and the consequences they can have for women it just isn't realistic for women to give every man the benefit of the doubt. She need not jump to a negative assumption, but she does need to protect herself from its possibility.

Years ago I remember my wife and I running from our car to our front door during a downpour. A guy happened to be walking his two very large dogs off leash. Seeing us run somehow triggered them and so they chased us barking and behaving in a way that was not friendly. When I told him to get his dogs under control he adopted a shitty attitude and talked about how they are not dangerous dogs. I am a dog lover and quite attuned to a dog's disposition. With these two I couldn't tell. I wasn't certain that they were likely to attack but I wasn't certain that they weren't either. And it emphatically was not our responsibility to take that chance at risk of physical harm. And saying so does not mean I am disparaging all dogs.

The idea that I shouldn't be concerned because he - a total stranger - was comfortable that they were not dangerous is absolutely asinine. I think that is kind of what guys sound like when we get all pissy because our behaviour makes women inclined to be cautious or not want to give us the benefit of the doubt. A woman doing that isn't saying I am a bad person because I am a male. She is living the reality that the vast majority of people likely to do her harm are male so steps are required to earn her confidence or for her to shelter herself from risk.

Being a man you take a lot of things for granted and you think that everyone is walking in your shoes. When I was a student in law school I used to walk several miles late at night or early in the morning to and from my girlfriend’s apartment through some pretty bad neighborhoods. I never thought anything of it but could a woman have done the same thing?

 

[ace195008]

@Escierto yeah I hear you, I worked in NYC for bunch of years, which I had to do to earn a living. I can’t comment on whether a woman would or wouldn’t. You also have to take into account all the wack jobs, male or female. Having ADHD and some ASD I have been down that path too, that was scary.

 

[KatieDoes]

It is the unpredictability that presents the biggest problem I expect. Not all men are violent or misogynist, but the ones who are can have a very detrimental impact on women. Given the prevalence of problematic men and the consequences they can have for women it just isn't realistic for women to give every man the benefit of the doubt. She need not jump to a negative assumption, but she does need to protect herself from its possibility.

Years ago I remember my wife and I running from our car to our front door during a downpour. A guy happened to be walking his two very large dogs off leash. Seeing us run somehow triggered them and so they chased us barking and behaving in a way that was not friendly. When I told him to get his dogs under control he adopted a shitty attitude and talked about how they are not dangerous dogs. I am a dog lover and quite attuned to a dog's disposition. With these two I couldn't tell. I wasn't certain that they were likely to attack but I wasn't certain that they weren't either. And it emphatically was not our responsibility to take that chance at risk of physical harm. And saying so does not mean I am disparaging all dogs.

The idea that I shouldn't be concerned because he - a total stranger - was comfortable that they were not dangerous is absolutely asinine. I think that is kind of what guys sound like when we get all pissy because our behaviour makes women inclined to be cautious or not want to give us the benefit of the doubt. A woman doing that isn't saying I am a bad person because I am a male. She is living the reality that the vast majority of people likely to do her harm are male so steps are required to earn her confidence or for her to shelter herself from risk.

Even just in the narrow world of this thread….. I would hazard a guess that every man that participated here believes himself to be one of the ‘good men’…. Including the one that states that all women are hookers, men ‘created life’(?), that I’m a hateful shrew for my radical idea that it’s ok if women get to decide to spend time with men only if they enjoy their company, the original poster lamenting the empowerment of women, and all the ones that happily looked the other way in silent agreement of it.

So while most men aren’t actively violent towards women, I also wouldn’t say that most men are actively ‘good men’, either.

There’s a lot of gray area between not being a direct physical threat to women, and just being shitty enough to allow it to happen. Any time I’ve ever been in direct danger from a man, it was other women that helped me.

 

[techiedude71]

You people sure like to generalize. To be fair, I cannot explain why I read this thread. Or why I felt the need to post in it. Seven pages and perhaps 20 or 30 people posting.. I would think people's experiences are their own and shouldn't be used to generalize.

 

[ace195008]

Even just in the narrow world of this thread….. I would hazard a guess that every man that participated here believes himself to be one of the ‘good men’…. Including the one that states that all women are hookers, men ‘created life’(?), that I’m a hateful shrew for my radical idea that it’s ok if women get to decide to spend time with men only if they enjoy their company, the original poster lamenting the empowerment of women, and all the ones that happily looked the other way in silent agreement of it.

So while most men aren’t actively violent towards women, I also wouldn’t say that most men are actively ‘good men’, either.

There’s a lot of gray area between not being a direct physical threat to women, and just being shitty enough to allow it to happen. Any time I’ve ever been in direct danger from a man, it was other women that helped me.

Really, sorry I can’t be that negative about humanity, seen too much, read my earlier post. The world is a tough place right now. It’s stressful, people are angry, I feel I can’t add to it. I have enough anxiety to float a battleship at times, even with my meds. I feel you have to see the good or bad in a non-judgmental way, ‘just saying’

 

[Inthesewalls]

You people sure like to generalize. To be fair, I cannot explain why I read this thread. Or why I felt the need to post in it. Seven pages and perhaps 20 or 30 people posting.. I would think people's experiences are their own and shouldn't be used to generalize.

You prove the point @KatieDoes is making in the previous post. You dont want women or as you put it "you people" to generalize you. So instead of saying oh yeah that doesnt apply to me or acknowledging that the OP is problematic or that women have to generalize for their safety, you say well not me. Im not that guy. Its all the other guys.

A lot of dudes are more worried that they themselves look bad than the actual problems at hand. So they get pissy about other men being called out for being shitty and/or they say but women too, but women arent the ones doing mass shootings or raping people or murdering people at like 4 times the rate men.

That stuff all starts with other continually giving each other free passes to be shitty and dangerous. You all have such egos, that you cant acknowledge that this attitude is sexist and a problem and or that women have reason to generalize. Cause as she says you are either doing it or ignoring it. The men that are smart and mature enough to realize this can scroll on. Whats that saying about a hit dog hollers?

Ps i love men. Just get tired of the shitty attitudes and gaslighting that goes on in regards to the real dangers women face.