Chaotic Coffee Klatch (tea also available)

That’s the part I don’t understand- Flogging. Sure, tie me up and take advantage of me could be fun but don’t abuse and hurt me.
There is a spectrum. I look at some of that stuff and I want to call the cops. It's like a basement in BaghDad under Saddam.
 
I think it is totally about trust. And I also am horrified about these things used against peoples wills - that freaks me out. 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Agreed. Go slow.

tying up with neckties, scarves, pj bottoms. Something easy to wiggle out of. Blindfolds. Icecubes.

Doesn't have to be super exotic. Just, erotic. Safe, sane, consensual floats up in nearly everything I read.
 
That might work if I can throw some knives into it and they can stick.

Nothing like inspiring some terror. 😈

@TANSTAAFL58 what you think? Can we get one of these I can throw some knives into?
Without the leather...if you can hit a quarter-sized target 100 times...
I have found, it's an acquired taste. Few people jump into the deep end immediately.

"Oh, I think I'd like to try some bdsm, honey, tie me up in the stockade and flog away"

Not likely on the first go.

Also....(sometimes) when you stop and think about it a minute
View attachment 2214260
^^^THIS 100%. There are two overlooked bases for BDSM. One is communication (as @BrendaD said). Know what you both enjoy (which may include flogging and more) and know each others limits, both soft (push a little) and hard (don't even think about it). AND FFS Have a safeword. Mine is "Meatloaf". Ask me why...The other is a sense of humour. If you are both done up in leather with Rhinestones on her nipples and an absurd French Tickler on your Unit, tied to a bedframe and being assaulted with a feather duster, two things should be happening. You both should be more aroused than you have ever been, and you should both be laughing at yourselves (before, during or after)
I think it is totally about trust. And I also am horrified about these things used against peoples wills - that freaks me out. 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Agreed. Go slow.

tying up with neckties, scarves, pj bottoms. Something easy to wiggle out of. Blindfolds. Icecubes.

Doesn't have to be super exotic. Just, erotic. Safe, sane, consensual floats up in nearly everything I read.
A necktie and the belt from a silk robe were our starting point...she gave control to someone she trusts. It MUST be that way (a Dom can never take control, S/He must be given it by the sub). Safe, sane and Consensual (SSC) or Risk Assured Consensual Kink (RACK) an bit more latitude.
 
I look at these and think who in their right mind would want to be tied to those. Then I think of my partner tying me up and that seems okay, so I guess it’s a trust issue. I am sure though that there have been some women that have been bound to these against their will and I think that’s where my apprehension comes from.

Don’t mind me, I am just thinking out loud.
It is completely a trust issue.
 
I know I must sound like a pompous old windbag talking about Kinks. But understand this: I am counselling / mentoring a couple on another site who have gotten themselves mixed up with a bad Dom. He is a sexual sadist, not a Dominant. He is way too extreme for their wants and needs (Theirs is a cuckold fantasy with a bit of SPH, even though he is normal size, and some bondage, impact and humiliation). He puts them through stuff that makes the Story of O seem like Winnie the Pooh (although, you have to wonder about what all that honey was for).
 
Blizzard? Inches?
We rarely get an actual blizzard. We get squalls off the lake. We are supposed to get 6-12 inches (quite a range; they are clueless) but its the winds that keep it in the air for days. I expect the main highway to be closed by sundown and the ploughs to be off the road before midnight.
 
That’s the part I don’t understand- Flogging. Sure, tie me up and take advantage of me could be fun but don’t abuse and hurt me.
Cindy
Bdsm is not all about pain. It can be but it’s more about what interests those involved in the relationship. Bdsm can be a very light sensual play. Lot of teasing, sensation play. Then there’s the mental play.
 
Not weirded out so much but I have looked through the BDSM stuff and it has somewhat shocked me. I can’t believe that a lot of it is consensual, this could of course be my limited understanding of it.

Anyhoo, my feelings aside you can post what you want😬
Well, I've found out I'm very much into bondage. But I still can't quite understand how pain can be turn-on for me some, as for me it's a total turn-off. Let my try, however, if I can explain any of the allure of bdsm to you...

And of course it's very much about trust. Even for those who, unlike me, love being afraid (the agitation can heighten pleasure). Trusting your D won't keep cross the limits you have set, and respecting safe word should you need to use it. Trusting you are after same kind of bdsm. Trusting your D knows what (s)he's doing so (s)he won't harm you by accident. That D won't harm you (unless you have agreed about that, some peoples may want it). Even more - trusting D takes care of you. Because the more D takes away your liberties, the better a good D takes care of you.

I assumed being bound would be exciting. I didn't guess it could be very calming as well. I have no worries in the world, cause I can't do anything anyway. Basically like an extension of submitting in general. And feeling taken care of is absolutely wonderful. It comes down to e.g. Him taking care of my thirst when I can't get water myself. Sometimes even noticing it before I do.

I guess it's a prejudice which has kept my Doms previous subs from trying on a straitjacket, while being ok with iron items. I find it funny - it's more comfortable than any of the iron things and doesn't bind you any more. I think I raved here a bit about how wonderful the straitjacket was. I felt safe... And how he reacted to me wearing it willingly was very.damn.hot.
Hands-and-legs-bar... Not the most comfortable item, but it made some very enjoyable things possible. A couple of too uncomfortable items were put aside after a very brief trying on. (One size fits nobody, dammit.)
Haven't tried St.Andrews cross, but I've been tied X to a bed (got a the straps for that in my own bed). I'm eagerly waiting for the next time.

The items themselves won't do anything to you, it's all about the user. Even a whip won't harm you on its own. And quite a lot can be done with just bare hands. Or some everyday items.

Basically every damn orgasm in the last 6 months I've been either bound, or having been ordered to a certain position (usually hands behind my head). Being bound now means there's pleasure coming. If there's torture, it's about edging, or getting too much pleasure.
 
I make light of things like my dungeon, the cross, wheel, etc. That's just Lit fun and games, silly conversation, to me.

Do I have a dungeon? No, not really.Never even been in one except an historical one in near Wichita Falls.

But I have done some experimentation with several other things, not so extreme.
 
Back
Top