Chaos: Don't Stress, Undress

[Saltfountain]

internet rule 34... Generally accepted internet rule that states that pornography or sexually related material exists for any conceivable subject.

34.1 Every rule has exceptions

34.1.1 Saltfountain

 

[Saltfountain]

Fastest way to get a guy to take off his pants:

Take off your pants.

Guy: okay

Sometimes it's safer to reply "yes, officer"

Especially when cuffed. And blindfolded. So I'm told

 

[Trubbycat]

Sometimes it's safer to reply "yes, officer"

Especially when cuffed. And blindfolded. So I'm told

Tough to take them off when cuffed…

 

[Saltfountain]

Tough to take them off when cuffed…

That's your problem, bitch

Now drop (them)

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Tough to take them off when cuffed…

depends on the pants I think

 

[Trubbycat]

depends on the pants I think

It’s all situational. Isn’t it?

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

It’s all situational. Isn’t it?

yeah, last time I was handcuffed with real cuffs I was in a sheet tied into a toga so there is that.

 

[Trubbycat]

Must have been quite the arrest report.

 

[Saltfountain]

yeah, last time I was handcuffed with real cuffs I was in a sheet tied into a toga so there is that.

You'd be surprised if the police did that, anywhere but Florida

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

You'd be surprised if the police did that, anywhere but Florida

oh that wasn't police, that was party entertainment, and it wasn't florida

 

[LittleSwitchy]

oh that wasn't police, that was party entertainment, and it wasn't florida

Oh? Do tell

 

[Saltfountain]

oh that wasn't police, that was party entertainment, and it wasn't florida

As in, *you* were the party entertainment?

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

As in, *you* were the party entertainment?

yup, started as a way to win a bet that I could still drink fine if handcuffed behind my back (moving them from behind me to in front of me)

 

[Saltfountain]

yup, started as a way to win a bet that I could still drink fine if handcuffed behind my back (moving them from behind me to in front of me)

And ended with how many dicks inside you?

 

[Photog1rl]

Sometimes it's safer to reply "yes, officer"

Especially when cuffed. And blindfolded. So I'm told

Officer? Hmm, I was taught to say sir.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

And ended with how many dicks inside you?

it was a multiday party and I was dating 2 guys. shush.

 

[Saltfountain]

Officer? Hmm, I was taught to say sir.

Policewomen hate you implying they're butch dykes

 

[Saltfountain]

it was a multiday party and I was dating 2 guys. shush.

So more than 2...

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

So more than 2...

just 2. not at the same time. and likely not technically the same day.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Policewomen hate you implying they're butch dykes

story time?

 

[Saltfountain]

story time?

Gonna come sit on my knee?

 

[Saltfountain]

just 2. not at the same time. and likely not technically the same day.

I had such high hopes for where that was going

 

[Bdm20]

just 2. not at the same time. and likely not technically the same day.

How does the rule work again? Divide the number a man claims by three, multiply a woman’s stated number by two? Or was it divide by two and multiply by three? Hmmmm. Let’s do the math…

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I had such high hopes for where that was going

yeah, well, ya know, I was younger, wasn't comfortable being too slutty yada yada.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

How does the rule work again? Divide the number a man claims by three, multiply a woman’s stated number by two? Or was it divide by two and multiply by three? Hmmmm. Let’s do the math…

don't forget hand job, finger fuck, blow job, boxed lunch, and fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus loopholes.