Sexless Marriages

[LeeKee]

Admitting something is the first step towards healing.

Our marriage is dead. It has been, and we need to admit it in order for anything to progress other th an decay of the soul. There will be nothing but damaged good and will prevent either of a chance at meaningful relationships. Oh wait I forgot you already had that because you have already moved on but do not want the hassle of an actual divorce. Silly me.

 

[whynotbr]

I can totally relate to this post. It seems the older i get the more horny i am. 12 years because of menopause, have been through everything by her side and now shes not interested in sex at all. God im horny !!

 

[Mtnmike]

I can totally relate to this post. It seems the older i get the more horny i am. 12 years because of menopause, have been through everything by her side and now shes not interested in sex at all. God im horny !!

Preach on it, there are a lot of us here

 

[Volk359]

Preach on it, there are a lot of us here

Amen, Brother.

 

[xt600e]

So, so many of us. 25 years for me.

 

[whynotbr]

So, so many of us. 25 years for me.

So sorry, I'm 60. I think of sex all the time or should i say affection and close contact.

 

[sandybrooke]

 

[whynotbr]

That was an emotion a long time ago. We are friends just not lovers

 

[xt600e]

So sorry, I'm 60. I think of sex all the time or should i say affection and close contact.

Any kind of intimacy I miss the most.

 

[whynotbr]

Any kind of intimacy I miss the most.

With you on that one

 

[LustyScribe]

Well, at least my pit bull still likes me to pet her!

 

[Older_Pervert]

Hey fellas, this is turning into the Sad Old Bastards thread! How about a chorus of:
” Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”?

 

[Nationalfile]

Im there with you!

Been in a sexless marriage for 5 years now. Was sleeping with best girlfriend but since she'd found a man I'm out in the cold. Just me, porn, and my trusty vibrator. Quick, quiet, lonely.

Mine isn't a sexless marriage but my desires are definitely not being attended to. I do a lot of masturbating when she's sleeping or running errands.

 

[clackorman]

Mine isn't a sexless marriage but my desires are definitely not being attended to. I do a lot of masturbating when she's sleeping or running errands.

Same

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Actually one of the things GreenMan and I realized once we took it to ‘in person’ instead of just here, we both miss the general intimacy like hugging, kissing, holding hands and just having someone who cares about us there daily, as much as the sex. The time we spend apart in between visits makes this even more apparent - humans need all kinds of intimacy to thrive.

 

[LuxIgnis]

I'm a newlywed as of a few months ago, and even since my sex life with my wife has all but disappeared. She's only concerned with making children. But my high sex drive demands so much more and my needs just aren't being met

 

[Strixaluco]

I'm a newlywed as of a few months ago, and even since my sex life with my wife has all but disappeared. She's only concerned with making children. But my high sex drive demands so much more and my needs just aren't being met

Did you discuss such things before getting married? Or did you live together before getting married?

 

[RachelWalsh]

Sorry so many neglected husbands

 

[LuxIgnis]

Did you discuss such things before getting married? Or did you live together before getting married?

We were together for 5 years. Moved in and lived together for a year. Then got married. It isn't that I don't love her; I absolutely do. She's my emotional support and she's transformed my life in countless ways. And I don't want to ever consider leaving her. But she's a total sub in the bedroom; I'd argue she's a pillow princess. Whereas I am a switch, so I like to have that balance of sub and Dom experiences.

 

[adamISOeve]

Actually one of the things GreenMan and I realized once we took it to ‘in person’ instead of just here, we both miss the general intimacy like hugging, kissing, holding hands and just having someone who cares about us there daily, as much as the sex. The time we spend apart in between visits makes this even more apparent - humans need all kinds of intimacy to thrive.

Two aspects I read out of this thread loud and clear. First: the title of the thread should not be “sexless” marriages but marriages without (sexual) affection and intimacy. For it seems to me, “if only” more visible affection existed in many cases described here, that already would be perceived as a solution for most people affected. Not for all, but for most.

Now when lack of affection and intimacy is the primary problem for most, WHY NOT can that problem find a solution “remotely”, i.e. via emails? That’s the way my problem got solved for a while, when the woman I adored and admired – adored and admired me back. We still converse now – once again – via emails, but real passion in our relationship has dwindled down significantly. And for understandable reasons too.

It seems to me, affection and more can be brought across the internet, in situations where IRL affection is impossible. At least this is true for two people with well-functioning fantasies and imagination.

 

[TemptationTango]

Two aspects I read out of this thread loud and clear. First: the title of the thread should not be “sexless” marriages but marriages without (sexual) affection and intimacy. For it seems to me, “if only” more visible affection existed in many cases described here, that already would be perceived as a solution for most people affected. Not for all, but for most.

Now when lack of affection and intimacy is the primary problem for most, WHY NOT can that problem find a solution “remotely”, i.e. via emails? That’s the way my problem got solved for a while, when the woman I adored and admired – adored and admired me back. We still converse now – once again – via emails, but real passion in our relationship has dwindled down significantly. And for understandable reasons too.

It seems to me, affection and more can be brought across the internet, in situations where IRL affection is impossible. At least this is true for two people with well-functioning fantasies and imagination.

I can say the Cyber thing helps to a point. But, at least for me, there is no substitute for skin to skin contact, body heat, pheromones, that look of desire in the eye, etc. On-line can certainly satisfy the primal need, but some of us need more.

I had a partner here on Lit for several months(my first). It was wonderful, but it kinda fizzled after a while and I put the blame mostly on me, and my need for physical contact that neither one of was willing to commit. Even if an 'arraignment' could be worked out, I am not even sure I would not chicken out at the last minute. Even the mere thought of a rendezvous carries overwhelming desire and lust, and that helps feed any on-line relationship.

For now, I have banished myself into a limbo with no end in sight...so be it.

 

[RDM97756]

I have been finding my self less and less aroused by anything online these days, while I am not in a purely sexless like some on here, clinically speaking I am in one. Where having sex less than 6 times a year is concidered sexless.

But just the thoight of getting arroused doesnt even excite me. Sure I jack off but imediatly finding myself possibly more depressed than before. Yet as for any thought of meeting up with someone scares the shit out of me... at least a random stranger.

I have not had a sexual conection with anyone out side the internet world in over 10 years outside my wife.

 

[AliTrishFL]

It has been over 3 years since my husband and I have been intimate, I can totally relate unfortunately

 

[Strixaluco]

Where having sex less than 6 times a year is concidered sexless.

So that's the definition? Heck, in that case most of my last cohabiting relationship was clinically sexless. About 2/3 of my first one too. Though totally only the last 2,5 years with my late husband.

But your situation sounds really sad. It also sounds like also you are probably in need of more intimacy, more than the act itself.

 

[RDM97756]

So that's the definition? Heck, in that case most of my last cohabiting relationship was clinically sexless. About 2/3 of my first one too. Though totally only the last 2,5 years with my late husband.

But your situation sounds really sad. It also sounds like also you are probably in need of more intimacy, more than the act itself.

You would be quite right about that. I dobt get any intimacy and when I try it is ussually rejected, I have settled to just accept what I can get and pretty much hybernate any and all other sexual needs wants desires.