Chaotic Coffee Klatch (tea also available)

[BrendaBear]

All right, so I have lived alone since I was 17 years old. The only exception being year before last. I've had significant others stay the night for two or three nights, but never lived in the same house. My girlfriend has raised the discussion of moving in, and I am both excited and apprehensive. I really want her to stay here, but I don't want her to touch my stuff or do anything that interferes with my day to day life. I'm sure that that sounds super selfish, but everything I have thus far has been built by my own labor.

If you love and respect her, and want to be with her, you need to decide for yourself if she is more important to you than something that may or may not happen. I purposely dealt with anything my wife did that I didn’t like internally the same as when I did something I didn’t like. It is unfortunate, but you deal with it an move on. And something will happen, but that is a part of life.

she will have to touch your stuff, and will interfere with your day to day life. You can choose to embrace that interaction and accept it, or reject it. Only you know which is right for you.

 

[MsNatalie99]

If you love and respect her, and want to be with her, you need to decide for yourself if she is more important to you than something that may or may not happen. I purposely dealt with anything my wife did that I didn’t like internally the same as when I did something I didn’t like. It is unfortunate, but you deal with it an move on. And something will happen, but that is a part of life.

she will have to touch your stuff, and will interfere with your day to day life. You can choose to embrace that interaction and accept it, or reject it. Only you know which is right for you.

Kinda a dumb question, but I'm 100% serious. My animals, I can put them on somekind of protected status, or is that a relationship taboo. She's uncomfortable around reptiles, and I have a 15" Iguana, Ramon. I've had him for 16 years. He was a birthday from my biological father, and I've never been away from him more than a few weeks. As for my dogs, they make me feel safe at home and when I go running. She doesn't mind them though.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Hi sweet Anja! Sorry, I nodded off again, but I did watch two episodes of Lower Decks, and you're right. It is hilarious.

 

[BrendaBear]

Kinda a dumb question, but I'm 100% serious. My animals, I can put them on somekind of protected status, or is that a relationship taboo. She's uncomfortable around reptiles, and I have a 15" Iguana, Ramon. I've had him for 16 years. He was a birthday from my biological father, and I've never been away from him more than a few weeks. As for my dogs, they make me feel safe at home and when I go running. She doesn't mind them though.

It sounds like your dogs aren’t an issue, just Ramon who is extremely important to you. She knows that, I am sure. I know that and we have never met face to face. Do you think she would hurt him? Not likely right? If she isn’t comfortable around him, then she needs to make peace with him before she moves in. surely she knows she goes before he does,right?

 

[jaF0]

I didn't know anything about them before I heard that track the first time either. I'm just curious how somebody can move tneir arm that fast for that long, or if it's some kind of after recording processing.

 

[BrendaBear]

@MsNatalie99, I think your bigger challenge will be remembering that she is absolutely going to do stuff you didn’t expect. Often you can choose to be annoyed, or amused. My wife used to leave her shoes by the door which was weird to me, so I didn’t care for it. But I quickly decided it was endearing, not because of the act itself, but because it was her that did it. That is the meaning of “don’t sweat the small stuff”

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Hi sweet Anja! Sorry, I nodded off again, but I did watch two episodes of Lower Decks, and you're right. It is hilarious.

I LOVE that show!

 

[BrendaBear]

I didn't know anything about them before I heard that track the first time either. I'm just curious how somebody can move tneir arm that fast for that long, or if it's some kind of after recording processing.

Easily could be looped. They play it once, then repeat it over and over again. I understand the entire Pina Colada song from the 70’s was actually looped (the instruments, not the singing).

 

[MsNatalie99]

It sounds like your dogs aren’t an issue, just Ramon who is extremely important to you. She knows that, I am sure. I know that and we have never met face to face. Do you think she would hurt him? Not likely right? If she isn’t comfortable around him, then she needs to make peace with him before she moves in. surely she knows she goes before he does,right?

I think she does. She's okay as long as he's in his enclosure, and I try to leave him there when she visits. However, he needs to be out to run around and get his exercise. Not only that, but he enjoys Laying across my shoulders in the evenings. I can't part with Ramon. That's not on the table. It was the last thing my father ever gave me, and thanks to my family, the only thing I have left from him. It's not even that Ramon doesn't like her. He can't help that she finds her scary. The fact that he doesn't avoid her or hide from her, is proof that he feels comfortable around her. So, if it were to happen that is something she would just have to make peace with. Still, I really like her. She's funny, interesting, and I think she really does care about me. It's like that first time you have a conversation with someone, and you realize that they're listening rather than waiting for their turn to speak.

 

[MsNatalie99]

I LOVE that show!

Hi TPH

 

[MsNatalie99]

@MsNatalie99, I think your bigger challenge will be remembering that she is absolutely going to do stuff you didn’t expect. Often you can choose to be annoyed, or amused. My wife used to leave her shoes by the door which was weird to me, so I didn’t care for it. But I quickly decided it was endearing, not because of the act itself, but because it was her that did it. That is the meaning of “don’t sweat the small stuff”

Yeah, Lisa refuses to make the bed under the assumption that it'll just get messed up again. She also rinces dishes after use rather than washing them. And when she's done chewing gum she'll put it back in the wrapper and leave it on the table. All of these things drive me nuts, but I'm trying to make peace with them

 

[BrendaBear]

I think she does. She's okay as long as he's in his enclosure, and I try to leave him there when she visits. However, he needs to be out to run around and get his exercise. Not only that, but he enjoys Laying across my shoulders in the evenings. I can't part with Ramon. That's not on the table. It was the last thing my father ever gave me, and thanks to my family, the only thing I have left from him. It's not even that Ramon doesn't like her. He can't help that she finds her scary. The fact that he doesn't avoid her or hide from her, is proof that he feels comfortable around her. So, if it were to happen that is something she would just have to make peace with. Still, I really like her. She's funny, interesting, and I think she really does care about me. It's like that first time you have a conversation with someone, and you realize that they're listening rather than waiting for their turn to speak.

That sounds like something you will have to work out together. He can’t stay locked up, you will resent her for it, and Ramon will figure out it is her fault as well. Hopefully they can build their own relationship and she will see him as you do.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I think she does. She's okay as long as he's in his enclosure, and I try to leave him there when she visits. However, he needs to be out to run around and get his exercise. Not only that, but he enjoys Laying across my shoulders in the evenings. I can't part with Ramon. That's not on the table. It was the last thing my father ever gave me, and thanks to my family, the only thing I have left from him. It's not even that Ramon doesn't like her. He can't help that she finds her scary. The fact that he doesn't avoid her or hide from her, is proof that he feels comfortable around her. So, if it were to happen that is something she would just have to make peace with. Still, I really like her. She's funny, interesting, and I think she really does care about me. It's like that first time you have a conversation with someone, and you realize that they're listening rather than waiting for their turn to speak.

is Ramon friendly enough? most people are creeped out by iguanas due to their speed, strength, and often ornery disposition, but it he is really tame, she may adapt with more contact. of course, if he isn't or might not be, the warmup is much less likely.

 

[BrendaBear]

Yeah, Lisa refuses to make the bed under the assumption that it'll just get messed up again. She also rinces dishes after use rather than washing them. And when she's done chewing gum she'll put it back in the wrapper and leave it on the table. All of these things drive me nuts, but I'm trying to make peace with them

Exactly! Perfect example - if you love her, don’t try to change her, just accept her as you want her to accept you. You don’t have to like what she does, but don’t let it bother you. I always tried to look at what my wife did, through the same lens as I looked at her. She wasn’t perfect, but she was in my eyes. It is worth your effort.

 

[MsNatalie99]

That sounds like something you will have to work out together. He can’t stay locked up, you will resent her for it, and Ramon will figure out it is her fault as well. Hopefully they can build their own relationship and she will see him as you do.

Thank you. I'm sure that this sounds silly to some. But dating so he's been kind of a weird thing with me. I've called people boyfriend, because we go out, and then we have sex. As far as I was concerned that's what dating was, however, I'm feeling a good bit more invested with her than I have been before. This is the first person I haven't had sex with every time we hung out, and the first person not to push for sex while we were hanging out.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Hey Chaos crew I’m cooking who’s coming to get some?

https://imgur.com/a/6XDO8eU

Do you deliver?

 

[BrendaBear]

Thank you. I'm sure that this sounds silly to some. But dating so he's been kind of a weird thing with me. I've called people boyfriend, because we go out, and then we have sex. As far as I was concerned that's what dating was, however, I'm feeling a good bit more invested with her than I have been before. This is the first person I haven't had sex with every time we hung out, and the first person not to push for sex while we were hanging out.

I’m a romantic, sex was never the most important thing to me. If you have fun together, and enjoy just being together, even when you aren’t taking or doing anything, then you have a basis for something special (in my humble opinion).

 

[MsNatalie99]

is Ramon friendly enough? most people are creeped out by iguanas due to their speed, strength, and often ornery disposition, but it he is really tame, she may adapt with more contact. of course, if he isn't or might not be, the warmup is much less likely.

He's really chill, and aside from me, he's only bit one other person. If he doesn't like you, he'll avoid you. But when he's out on the floor, he tends to run full speed up and down the Halls. During this time I have to lock up the dogs, or he'll freak them out. I've tried to convince her to let me put him on her shoulders, so that he can relax with her natural Heat, and they can both get comfortable with one another. However, it's been my experience that if you're nervous around an animal, it will in turn be nervous around you.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Hey Chaos crew I’m cooking who’s coming to get some?

https://imgur.com/a/6XDO8eU

quit making me hungry

 

[MsNatalie99]

is Ramon friendly enough? most people are creeped out by iguanas due to their speed, strength, and often ornery disposition, but it he is really tame, she may adapt with more contact. of course, if he isn't or might not be, the warmup is much less likely.

Although, if you like story time, and you haven't heard it before, you'll love the story behind Ramon's one other person bit.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

He's really chill, and aside from me, he's only bit one other person. If he doesn't like you, he'll avoid you. But when he's out on the floor, he tends to run full speed up and down the Halls. During this time I have to lock up the dogs, or he'll freak them out. I've tried to convince her to let me put him on her shoulders, so that he can relax with her natural Heat, and they can both get comfortable with one another. However, it's been my experience that if you're nervous around an animal, it will in turn be nervous around you.

have you tried educating her on them. like showing her positive videos, learning videos on body language. If he has only bitten one person, I assume a warning tail whip would come first? not comfortable, but not serious. maybe if she felt she could understand the flags of something going wrong she'd feel better. people fear the unknown.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Although, if you like story time, and you haven't heard it before, you'll love the story behind Ramon's one other person bit.

yes please

 

[MsNatalie99]

have you tried educating her on them. like showing her positive videos, learning videos on body language. If he has only bitten one person, I assume a warning tail whip would come first? not comfortable, but not serious. maybe if she felt she could understand the flags of something going wrong she'd feel better. people fear the unknown.

I've talked to her about it. I told her all about Green Iguanas, but for whatever reason, she's just nervous. I can understand that. I'm terrified of horses, but I've never to the best of my knowledge had a bad interaction with one.

 

[MsNatalie99]

yes please

Okay, so I used to party with this guy Brandon. I only remember his name because of this story, because he was such a piece of crap. Anyway, we just finished a long night of drinking and humping. He had offered to get a few beers from the fridge when he noticed that Ramon wasn't in his enclosure. This didn't worry me at all because as I've said before Ramon is Chill. At the time, if I thought anyone would bite them it would have been my German Shepherd Heidi.

So I don't know how drunk or high Brandon was, but he decided it would be funny to start swinging his dick at Ramon. I saw Ramon's tail kick from behind scented candle, so I knew Ramon was getting pissed. I told Brandon to stop two or three good times, each time he'd laugh, telling me it was all right. Finally, Ramon had had enough and bit the tip of Brandon's dick. It took me a good 30 seconds to get Ramon off of him, all the while I was shielding him from Brandon's punches. I'd find out a few days later that Brandon cracked one of my ribs.

So after I finally got Ramon off I had to get Brandon to the hospital. He ended up getting like six or seven stitches. At that point, he had told me that either "your fucking lizard goes, or I do". So I took Brandon's clothes, wallet, and phone, and left him at the hospital.

While they were putting the stitches in, it was pointed out to me that there was a thumbnail sized portion of skin missing. Green Iguanas don't eat meat, so I figured that it was probably still somewhere in my house. I never found the skin, so either Ramon did eat it, or my dog got it while we were at the hospital. Since then, Ramon is only been out of his enclosure while company was at the house a few times. That was 4 years ago, and probably a good six since his previous bite. That bite was my fault, handling him wrong.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Okay, so I used to party with this guy Brandon. I only remember his name because of this story, because he was such a piece of crap. Anyway, we just finished a long night of drinking and humping. He had offered to get a few beers from the fridge when he noticed that Ramon wasn't in his enclosure. This didn't worry me at all because as I've said before Ramon is Chill. At the time, if I thought anyone would bite them it would have been my German Shepherd Heidi.

So I don't know how drunk or high Brandon was, but he decided it would be funny to start swinging his dick at Ramon. I saw Ramon's tail kick from behind scented candle, so I knew Ramon was getting pissed. I told Brandon to stop two or three good times, each time he'd laugh, telling me it was all right. Finally, Ramon had had enough and bit the tip of Brandon's dick. It took me a good 30 seconds to get Ramon off of him, all the while I was shielding him from Brandon's punches. I'd find out a few days later that Brandon cracked one of my ribs.

So after I finally got Ramon off I had to get Brandon to the hospital. He ended up getting like six or seven stitches. At that point, he had told me that either "your fucking lizard goes, or I do". So I took Brandon's clothes, wallet, and phone, and left him at the hospital.

While they were putting the stitches in, it was pointed out to me that there was a thumbnail sized portion of skin missing. Green Iguanas don't eat meat, so I figured that it was probably still somewhere in my house. I never found the skin, so either Ramon did eat it, or my dog got it while we were at the hospital. Since then, Ramon is only been out of his enclosure while company was at the house a few times. That was 4 years ago, and probably a good six since his previous bite. That bite was my fault, handling him wrong.

oh god that was so much worse than I expected