Pmann wants to talk mental health

[aussiegeekygal]

I just ended up on Reddit reading commentary about women who are disgusted by cum. It was a fascinating journey through many perspectives and faulty thinking patterns that perpetuate our misery. Oddly enough, it was kind of fun.

Anyways...

One guy shared a comment that he used to jack off into his hand and eat it, and he wasn't disgusted. In his mind (and in a declaration to all on Reddit who give enough of a shit about this topic to read his comment) there's either something wrong with the dude or "it's all in your head".

It got me thinking (because I am, after all, one of lit's most loved cum haters) that yeah, it is all in my head. It's my reality. That's exactly where everything that is me is. In my head...

Now this guy's comment was at the end, which means it was possibly (probably?) downvoted. There were dozens of comments above normalizing that woman's experience because we realize, it's okay to not like something. Just as much as it's okay to like something. I've spent so much time in my life trying to fit into other people's molds and it just fucked with my mental health. Add I learn to make up my own mind about things and figure out how to play the game that is life, the better I feel. I hate that I'm this complex machine that needs taking care of. And I'm the one who has to do it. Gah. No wonder so many people are burnt out right now. The rules all changed on us.

Who else feels like they're relearning how to be a functional adult after all the shit the last two years has thrown us?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

My job is such that without it, I and most of my colleagues would simply not cope at all. I wouldn't dream of trying to give you examples, because out of context they would seem so inappropriate.

Knowing what you do paired with my life experience, I can imagine. I'm Missing Out of Context Inappropriate. That's why I have no problems sharing that I used to get hungry in anatomy class. Something about the smell of formaldehyde made me nauseous/hungry. I used to sneak in mini mars bars so that I could concentrate to study. Some people may feel disgust but I look back and in my mind's eye it's funny as fuck

If I’m not doing that, then music is a good coping mechanism. Sad times are the best for writing, in my opinion.

We dance a lot in my home
I belt out rock ballads and tenacious d on the daily

Yes. I really enjoy jokes about the darker things. It does help. It’s not for everyone. Some people are more sensitive than others. But for some, it helps to make light of it.

This is why I love you. You and I have an awfully aligned sense of humor. I need people like you in my life. But AA, watermelons and vacuum cleaners may timeshare your balls. It's the cum and all...

 

[Lord Pmann]

9
Drop D tuning Key of D

Or Am. Dm would also work

Edit...i know what I hear...but it would be interesting to see where others take it

It’s a well known fact that Dm is the saddest of all keys.

 

[alwaysaway]

Definitely me.

My job is such that without it, I and most of my colleagues would simply not cope at all. I wouldn't dream of trying to give you examples, because out of context they would seem so inappropriate. But we see some of the most horrific scenes life presents. Laughter/humour make the actual doing of the job just about bearable at times.

^this. Sounds like you work in healthcare too.

 

[hotwords229_A]

So I'm definitely guilty of using humor to connect with others about things that may not necessarily be funny to some, but they tickle my dark side. I'm wondering, do you joke about the really bad stuff, too?
Who else has a wickedly dark sense of humor that acts as a coping mechanism?

I have a dark sense of humor. I’ve even offended myself with my own comments and that’s not easy to do!

I try not to reveal my evil side until people get to know me because it seems to be a process where you have to understand that I’m not as monsterous as my sense of humor would have you believe. So I play it cool in the beginning and think evil (funny) thoughts with a devilish smirk on my face and then when someone looks at me and asks “What?” I just say “Nothing.” and act like I have something stuck in my teeth.

Also my whole family make funny comments during the bad times. It is a coping mechanism. I’m not really Irish, I’m from NJ, but of Irish descent, an apparently “my people” get through tragedy by saying horrible/funny things . . . and then beating the shit out of each other.

Who else feels like they're relearning how to be a functional adult after all the shit the last two years has thrown us?

Not at all. I feel more like my suspicions were correct.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Also my whole family make funny comments during the bad times. It is a coping mechanism. I’m not really Irish, I’m from NJ, but of Irish descent, an apparently “my people” get through tragedy by saying horrible/funny things . . . and then beating the shit out of each other.

My dad is Irish and I have his sense of humor. He was also a cop.
I'm doubly fucked. So inappropriate is my sense of humor... The Mormons never saw it coming when it accidentally slipped out one day at work

 

[Cotswolds]

^this. Sounds like you work in healthcare too.

I do. I love it too, but we're so under supported over here with MH, but I speak for the ambulance service only, I don't know what it's like elsewhere.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I do. I love it too, but we're so under supported over here with MH, but I speak for the ambulance service only, I don't know what it's like elsewhere.

I'm a little envious that private equity hasn't gotten their grubby little hands in there, though.
That's next level underfunded, with dividends! For the shareholders

 

[Cotswolds]

I'm a little envious that private equity hasn't gotten their grubby little hands in there, though.
That's next level underfunded, with dividends! For the shareholders

It's on the horizon though, it's started to creep in already

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'm a little envious that private equity hasn't gotten their grubby little hands in there, though.
That's next level underfunded, with dividends! For the shareholders

Says the medical world entrepreneur. Lol.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Says the medical world entrepreneur. Lol.

That's how I know how fucked up it is

 

[Sexy_Singer]

Depression, a dark world, hard to climb out of, cries for help, put together a plan, settle accounts, a kiss goodbye...

 

[jaF0]

People broke my brain.

 

[LizVegas79]

So I'm definitely guilty of using humor to connect with others about things that may not necessarily be funny to some, but they tickle my dark side. I'm wondering, do you joke about the really bad stuff, too?
Who else has a wickedly dark sense of humor that acts as a coping mechanism?

I used dark humor, even self-shaming humor, as a coping mechanism for years. It was the best way I knew how to cope with the disappointment of having to give up playing tennis and then the second best way of coping with a failed music career. (the first was drugs and alcohol)

I told myself I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me but in retrospect I think I actually did. I enjoyed making people laugh too. Even if it was at my expense.

But then I had my first kidlet and one of my friends at the time said "She is going to grow up and be the most cynical kid in her school if she hears you talking like that her whole life." It made me pause and tap the brakes on expressing myself the way I was. At least outwardly. I didn't want my kid to be a cynic and deep down hate herself as much as I deep down hated myself. So I started going to therapy. Then I had another kidlet and decided I need to be a good, supportive, nurturing mom to them both.

Now I'm perfectly normal, totally boring and not funny at all.

The fact that they're both completely fucked up is totally not my fault.

 

[cascadiabound]

Who else feels like they're relearning how to be a functional adult after all the shit the last two years has thrown us?

Absolutely this. There are times I just feel untethered.
And the exhaustion related to spending time with people is worse than I remember before Covid.
I tried bundling my get together interactions last Friday... had breakfast with a friend, lunch with 2 friends, mid afternoon dessert with two other friends and bookclub with 6 friends all in one day.
It was all good... but omg... overstimulated. AND everything was about FOOD. (the moscow mule in the middle of the afternoon was lovely though)

 

[Dribble]

Depression, a dark world, hard to climb out of, cries for help, put together a plan, settle accounts, a kiss goodbye...

I didn't see this before today, else I would haved recognized it earlier. Not sure how to read this...so when faced with the uncertainty ...I always error on the side of caution. I have no problem looking stupid. What others think of me is meaningless.

We have a sentence...with commas. Lots of commas. This tells us there are many places where we can fight the demon voice. Don't know where you are...which...if any phrase is where you are. Even after the goodbyes, we have a choice. See...faith is hard. But the reality is no one really needs to know how things will get better...they just need faith. Focus on what you can control...not on what you can't. Today...I believe if I keep taking a step forward...Sooner or later...I will find myself in a better spot. It is when we do nothing...that choices are taken.

Here...a new door has been opened. Whether you want to look through that door is on you. My PMs are always open

 

[Dribble]

I used dark humor, even self-shaming humor, as a coping mechanism for years. It was the best way I knew how to cope with the disappointment of having to give up playing tennis and then the second best way of coping with a failed music career. (the first was drugs and alcohol)

I told myself I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me but in retrospect I think I actually did. I enjoyed making people laugh too. Even if it was at my expense.

But then I had my first kidlet and one of my friends at the time said "She is going to grow up and be the most cynical kid in her school if she hears you talking like that her whole life." It made me pause and tap the brakes on expressing myself the way I was. At least outwardly. I didn't want my kid to be a cynic and deep down hate herself as much as I deep down hated myself. So I started going to therapy. Then I had another kidlet and decided I need to be a good, supportive, nurturing mom to them both.

Now I'm perfectly normal, totally boring and not funny at all.

The fact that they're both completely fucked up is totally not my fault.

I like this part of you Liz. Very real.

 

[NC_Coastal]

It’s a well known fact that Dm is the saddest of all keys.

Followed closely by Cmaj7

 

[Lord Pmann]

Followed closely by Cmaj7

Dm is the saddest of all keys. This is undisputed.

However, to me, the Cmaj7 chord isn’t really sad. Just slightly dissonant, as the major 7 is a bit wobbly sounding. Pretty chord, but definitely not #2 on the saddest of all sounds. We disagree. But I’ll let it slide. For now.

 

[NC_Coastal]

Thank you, Lord.

 

[TheWindUpBoy]

It is especially bad for men/male-identifying-folks, as the very idea of needing help with your emotions is stigmatized, much less getting professional help.

On top of which, finding mental health care is needlessly difficult (I'm looking at you, every fucking insurance website, and Psychology Today), and finding help when you are hurting is not the time you want a challenge. it really isn't any surprise so many of us go without.
And that's assuming you HAVE insurance.

 

[Endless_Night]

There was a poster on the General Board who used to post some interesting stats and ideas on men and emotional issues. I found it interesting, and informative.

How boys are socialized to suck it up and taught not talk about their emotional stress. This carries over into maturity, where their friend groups (unlike women) simply don't talk about grief, depression, or any of the more intimate emotional feelings, particularly those that could be construed as showing weakness.

It's deeply isolating.

And creates a completely different problem than the feminine experience. Our spoken emotional distress is often dismissed. Men are taught not to speak.

 

[Lord Pmann]

There was a poster on the General Board who used to post some interesting stats and ideas on men and emotional issues. I found it interesting, and informative.

How boys are socialized to suck it up and taught not talk about their emotional stress. This carries over into maturity, where their friend groups (unlike women) simply don't talk about grief, depression, or any of the more intimate emotional feelings, particularly those that could be construed as showing weakness.

It's deeply isolating.

And creates a completely different problem than the feminine experience. Our spoken emotional distress is often dismissed. Men are taught not to speak.

We tend to compartmentalize and not address things. I know that it can be much easier to bury shit down and run, rather than face feelings. Or make jokes.

#Vulnerable

 

[aussiegeekygal]

There was a poster on the General Board who used to post some interesting stats and ideas on men and emotional issues. I found it interesting, and informative.

How boys are socialized to suck it up and taught not talk about their emotional stress. This carries over into maturity, where their friend groups (unlike women) simply don't talk about grief, depression, or any of the more intimate emotional feelings, particularly those that could be construed as showing weakness.

It's deeply isolating.

And creates a completely different problem than the feminine experience. Our spoken emotional distress is often dismissed. Men are taught not to speak.

I easily appreciate when other people share what is like for them. I don't always see patterns in gender, but I can see how society shapes an understanding of what our roles are based on who and where we are in life.

I wasn't raised to be emotional. My parents were both cops and taught me how to regulate myself by buying stuff deep down. I am still learning how to be angry. I actually think we tolerate anger in men far more often than we allow women to be emotional. We've just somehow agreed that anger isn't men being emotional.

I think the way we've socialized and raised kids has been harmful to everyone in different ways. We also get a lot of good out of it, too. The funniest people I know have had to deal with some truly awful shit. I admire the fuck out of their ability to shape it into humor. I find that helps me process all the ridiculous nonsense I have to deal with in a way that helps me let it go. Because I can't carry all that shit with me all the time.

..... And I think I just realized why my laughing can be so triggering to others. I've taught myself to see the humor in almost everything, and sometimes that means I forget to see the seriousness of it all.

 

[Mika1215]

..... And I think I just realized why my laughing can be so triggering to others. I've taught myself to see the humor in almost everything, and sometimes that means I forget to see the seriousness of it all.

THIS.

The only way that I've freaking survived has been by having the ability to find some kind of humor in all of the shit that keep happening to me. But I'm entirely sure that a lot of the things that I say... well, it's hard for me to be appropriately serious sometimes because all that I can do is see the dark humor in it all. Because you have to, right?