Chaotic Coffee Klatch (tea also available)

I try to identify if I have a standard, identify why, then mix it all up, lower it, smash it. It depends on the why of each piece of the standard. I'm a very weird person. Clean clothes are definitely tossed out of the standard, dirty clothes tend to be a symbol of both hard work and hard play, I am a fan of both. I do appreciate decent hygiene though.
I get that. Main thing is to be comfortable in your own skin. If I were to fall short of your standards, you can always move on. No fault on you, no fault on me. I certainly don't dress for conventional standards, but I feel beautiful as I am.
 
Agreed. A lot of people like different stuff. What I find hot may kill your boner, but it makes finding those who share in your idea of hot all the more special

But...I do think that whatever your choice is should be, let's say, intentional.

Backstory: some years ago I was friends with a guy who I'd met through a dating site, was single in those days. Eventually he invited me to go see a play and spend the weekend with him; he lives about a four hour drive from me. And I discovered the thing that you can't really tell from talking/video...he was just filthy, and not in a good way. His place looked like he had literally never cleaned. The towels in the bathroom were solid. Not sure when the shower was last used. This is a professional guy, and you could see the rings of dirt on his arms. None of this seemed remotely like a kink thing; it seemed entirely like a "I do not even notice that I am really, really dirty" kind of thing. Not intentional. Very off-putting.

The play was good, though, and I chose not to stay the whole weekend.
 
But...I do think that whatever your choice is should be, let's say, intentional.

Backstory: some years ago I was friends with a guy who I'd met through a dating site, was single in those days. Eventually he invited me to go see a play and spend the weekend with him; he lives about a four hour drive from me. And I discovered the thing that you can't really tell from talking/video...he was just filthy, and not in a good way. His place looked like he had literally never cleaned. The towels in the bathroom were solid. Not sure when the shower was last used. This is a professional guy, and you could see the rings of dirt on his arms. None of this seemed remotely like a kink thing; it seemed entirely like a "I do not even notice that I am really, really dirty" kind of thing. Not intentional. Very off-putting.

The play was good, though, and I chose not to stay the whole weekend.
so how did you excuse yourself?
 
so how did you excuse yourself?
oh god it was funny really. I was trying to figure out how to leave gracefully...he was a nice guy, and we're still friends sort of tangentially. I had another friend in town, and she was my backup plan anyway (because when you travel a distance to meet someone, you should always have a backup plan!). So I was in the middle of creating some reason why she needed me when it turned out that his (supposedly poly) girlfriend was a whole lot less ok with me being there than had been previously apparent, and so it was kind of a mutual, see you later thing.
 
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