Hello everyone. Let's talk about which tenses are sexiest.

[dombledore]

Hi everyone,

I post here very infrequently, mostly because up until recently I only wrote something every year or so. But something weird happened to me recently and I have been in flow for about a week now. I can't stop. Posting this is taking time away from writing stories.

I don't know if I'll post everything I'm writing here; I post more to reddit if I'm honest. They like my gay stories but my straight ones are lacking somehow. Whatever. I'll improve.

Anyway, as a way of greeting you all, would you like to talk about tenses when writing erotica? One thing I learned over the last week is that when using first person, there is a fundamental difference between using present tense and past tense.

When we speak in past tense, the reader is receiving our interpretation of events. They must accept what we're telling them.

But when we speak in present tense, the reader is there. The mediator is removed. The reader can see our emotions, but they are also witnesses to the events in a way that they aren't in past tense. They see through our eyes but experience with their own feelings too. In short, present tense is fucking intense.

What are your favourite tenses? Discuss among yourselves.

Thanks for having me here.

 

[MrPixel]

Present, with the occasional necessary flashback.

When I first started writing erotica it was intended to be past tense, but I found myself slipping in and out of past and present. Keeping it in present seems to flow better.

 

[ElectricBlue]

But when we speak in present tense, the reader is there. The mediator is removed. The reader can see our emotions, but they are also witnesses to the events in a way that they aren't in past tense. They see through our eyes but experience with their own feelings too. In short, present tense is fucking intense.

My preference is third person past tense, because you can control the flow and pace of a story more, and use more than one point of view.

For me, present tense gets exhausting after a while - both as a reader and as a writer. But then, I'm a slow burn writer. I'll occasionally use present tense for shorter pieces, but not often.

I think it's a writers' myth that first person present tense is automatically more intense, although seem to think so.

I can get the same intimacy with close third past tense as with first person, present tense - a fellow writer said of my stories, "You get so close to them, it's like you're sharing their pillow, whereas I want to leave the room and close the door."

But, different stories need different tools, and knowing when to use them. There's no right or wrong.

 

[SimonDoom]

I have written all my stories in the past tense, and I don't expect that to change.

Past tense is, by far, the most common tense in which to write, and the tense with which readers are most familiar. It is far more likely to be accepted by your readers.

Something I have noticed is that many stories that begin in present tense lapse unconsciously into past tense, and that drives me crazy. I just hate that. It drives me right out of the story.

If you remain very conscious of what you are doing and you stick to the POV scrupulously, then present tense is fine. But, too often, Literotica authors screw it up. It's one of the reasons I think that in most cases you are better off with sticking with traditional past tense.

I agree 100% with what EB wrote. Third-person limited POV in the past tense gives you, the author, the widest possible artistic control over the story, AND, if done right, it doesn't sacrifice any feeling of immediacy or intimacy. I mix up points of view, but third-person limited in the past tense is my default, and most common, way to write.

 

[NotWise]

Present tense has its uses. For reasons I don't understand, I often write in present tense when I synopsize stories. It seems to roll off the keyboard easily. I've only once written a story using first person present tense, so when I write off my synopses I have to convert from present to past tense, and the conversion usually gives my prose more flexibility.

The one use I had for first person present tense was in "Her Dreamhouse," The story is written in third person past tense, but the major part of the story involves a woman relating her sexual fantasies in dialogue. She shifts from mostly past tense for normal dialogue to present tense when she's describing her fantasies. The intent is to give the feeling that she's experiencing them as she speaks.

 

[dombledore]

"You get so close to them, it's like you're sharing their pillow, whereas I want to leave the room and close the door."

But, different stories need different tools, and knowing when to use them. There's no right or wrong.

Thanks for sharing that perspective, it really rings true to me. I just posted a story that is written in first person, past tense. I really, really like it, but I wondered if I could use it in a project I'm working on, so I rewrote it in present tense. Fucked it up completely. It's not sexy anymore, which is really really weird because everything else I am currently writing is rocking in present tense.

What you said about being exhausted by present tense is scaring me a bit because I pushed out 6,000 tension-laden words today (and still no fucking yet), and I suddenly realised I'm writing a filthy, filthy, dirty, deeply emotional love story. And now I'm worried that no one will finish it because it's tiring. nooooooooooo anxiety shhhhhhhhh

 

[dombledore]

Something I have noticed is that many stories that begin in present tense lapse unconsciously into past tense, and that drives me crazy. I just hate that. It drives me right out of the story.

If you remain very conscious of what you are doing and you stick to the POV scrupulously, then present tense is fine. But, too often, Literotica authors screw it up. It's one of the reasons I think that in most cases you are better off with sticking with traditional past tense.

Oh god I hate that so much. READ YOUR SHIT BEFORE YOU POST IT.

I have to say, when I started this project a few days ago, I was about a page in when I suddenly went, no, I'm telling this like it's happening now. Rewrote it in present tense. It is now fire, and I'm chapters deep. But for the first few thousand words, I would keep catching my self slipping into past tense, and would have to edit a few lines. Now it's effortless, though.

I find what I'm enjoying about present tense is how it seems to bring out kindness in my characters. They fuck in extreme ways, sometimes physically rough, but they are somehow gentle with each other. I don't know at this point if it's something inside me that's spilling onto the page, or if using first person makes my characters kind. But I like it. I've discovered I like a little kindness in my kink.

 

[dombledore]

The one use I had for first person present tense was in "Her Dreamhouse," The story is written in third person past tense, but the major part of the story involves a woman relating her sexual fantasies in dialogue. She shifts from mostly past tense for normal dialogue to present tense when she's describing her fantasies. The intent is to give the feeling that she's experiencing them as she speaks.

Hmmmm, that's interesting. I like it. I can actually imagine a very hot story where no fucking actually takes place. It's just a highly sexually charged conversation between two people, so it is mostly first person dialogue, even though that's sitting on a past tense frame like you suggested. Bonus points if you can Jane Austen it so that it's just soooo fucking reserved and people have to speak in imetaphors.

 

[Lifestyle66]

If you remain very conscious of what you are doing and you stick to the POV scrupulously, then present tense is fine. But, too often, Literotica authors screw it up. It's one of the reasons I think that in most cases you are better off with sticking with traditional past tense.

I tried writing in first person present tense. An editor criticized it saying it would be better if I stuck to past tense. So, I* edited the chapter (several times). But still missed one or two present tense sentences, which one commenter caught.

I try to write only in past tense.

 

[ElectricBlue]

What you said about being exhausted by present tense is scaring me a bit because I pushed out 6,000 tension-laden words today (and still no fucking yet), and I suddenly realised I'm writing a filthy, filthy, dirty, deeply emotional love story. And now I'm worried that no one will finish it because it's tiring. nooooooooooo anxiety shhhhhhhhh

My thoughts on this - if everything is tension, you've got no place else to go but to ramp it up even more, which I reckon works in the short term but that's where my exhaustion comes from in the end. You've got to give the reader some ebb and flow, I reckon; circle around the intensity slowly and then ramp it right up, likes waves coming in on the beach and the tide surges.

Keep in mind though, that I write a lot of "mood" in my stories, they're saturated with tiny details, they're on the whole introspective, they're slow build, intimacy not heavy action.

 

[KeithD]

Hi everyone,


When we speak in past tense, the reader is receiving our interpretation of events. They must accept what we're telling them.

No, they don't have to "accept what the narrator is telling them" no matter what tense is used. The reader is free to decide the narrator is full of beans. In fact, having a narrator you don't believe as a reader can make for a very engaging story.

I guess I don't follow the OP and the "what tenses are sexist" discussion at all. The tense used doesn't have anything to do with sexism.

 

[dombledore]

Keep in mind though, that I write a lot of "mood" in my stories

Oh, I'm well aware of your work. I've followed you for years. I love your stories; yours is some of the most beautifully written erotica I've come across on this site. I keep coming back to the Garter Belts stories, for some reason.

I aspire to write half as well as you do. You can't really see it from what little I've posted here, but I love slow builders, because to me, as much as I like the fucking, I need to get drawn into the people first.

Anyhoo, tension was the wrong word to use. The build I'm on is emotional, not really tense. Young man fucks up, must submit to older mistress to make good. And now they might have feels and they didn't even get down yet. I don't really know what's going on, I've never been in flow like this before. I'll worry about it later because she is pushing stuff into my head faster than I can scribble down outlines. I broke a keyboard today. This is not like me.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Oh, I'm well aware of your work. I've followed you for years. I love your stories; yours is some of the most beautifully written erotica I've come across on this site. I keep coming back to the Garter Belts stories, for some reason.

Thank you. Very kind words indeed .

Your appreciation of the Ruby stories is interesting, given discussions going on elsewhere about writing men vs women, and stroke porn versus erotica. Those two Garter Belt stories are the closest I've got (in my mind) to stroke stories, where nearly the whole point is the sexual encounter. But me being me, "nearly" is the operative word, because both stories wander off elsewhere, into intimacy as well as sex.

Ruby is a current favourite, as evidenced by her appearance in the two a Desiderare stories and my Mickey Spillane piece. She was great fun to write.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I've used present and past, first and third person, and I think close vs omniscient third, too. And lots of discussion of events in the past, in a present-tense story.

The choice stems from the character, for me. Some want first-person, but if I'm giving views regularly from multiple people, then third works better. Past tense always for third person, I think - present+third sounds a bit excitable grade-school kid to me, though I'm sure some people have done it well.

 

[AlinaX]

I prefer first person, and often prefer present tense when in first person, but a lot of readers do dislike it. First person present tense is often very restrictive in terms of how you can write and what you can write, and a lot of YA fiction in recent decades has used first person present tense.

I'm reminded of an article from 10 years ago:

Most first-person narratives, laden with I-bomb after I-bomb, devolve into a telling, boring, look-at-me-world bit of torture that causes many readers to scramble.

My advice? Make your default approach a third-person narrative, and change it only if you decide it just doesn’t work, that it must be a first-person narrative.

One huge problem with first person present tense is the difficulty of skipping past the boring bits. A running narrative of life can easily get lost in details that are ultimately irrelevant to the plot and problematic for the pacing. Of course, if your focus is very much on the moment, then a stream of consciousness can be very intimate.

The cream that Jill rubs into her nipples is infused with rose and patchouli, and the fragrance fills the air around us, drowning us in unsubtle perfume. Even the library's ever-present smell of leather and parchment is washed away by the cream's scent. Jill gasps suddenly. "My nipples have never been this sensitive before," she murmurs. Her hips grow restless too, seeking with gentle but ever more persistent nudges to penetrate deeper into my mouth.

 

[SimonDoom]

One huge problem with first person present tense is the difficulty of skipping past the boring bits. A running narrative of life can easily get lost in details that are ultimately irrelevant to the plot and problematic for the pacing. Of course, if your focus is very much on the moment, then a stream of consciousness can be very intimate.

I think you've hit on the single biggest problem with present tense. If the story spans more than a short period of time, how do you do it convincingly? It's hard in present tense to skip over a period of time in a way that seems convincing.

Present tense works best when the story takes place over a very short period of time, like a brief sexual encounter. But even for that, I stick with past tense.

 

[KeithD]

It's hard in present tense to skip over a period of time in a way that seems convincing.

Sorry, I don't see why using present tense (or anything else) locks the writer into this.

 

[yowser]

Past tense, either third or first person, is the traditional story-teller's voice. It is natural, familiar, gives the author great flexibility and control, and if used consistently avoids many of the present-tense issues that others have noted.

Easier for readers, for comprehension, powerful for the writer (creator) and I personally prefer it. All of my efforts are past tense, mostly first person, or close third.

 

[SimonDoom]

I'm going to get all goofy and pedantic for a moment. Because I'm like that. The original OP question is "which tenses are sexiest?"

There are really only two choices, right? Simple past and present? Nobody writes stories in the future tense, or in the past perfect (except for clauses or phrases that describe things happening in relation to the story as a whole).

So, if it's only two choices, it should be phrased, "Which tense is sexier?"

 

[NotWise]

I'm going to get all goofy and pedantic for a moment. Because I'm like that. The original OP question is "which tenses are sexiest?"

There are really only two choices, right? Simple past and present? Nobody writes stories in the future tense, or in the past perfect (except for clauses or phrases that describe things happening in relation to the story as a whole).

So, if it's only two choices, it should be phrased, "Which tense is sexier?"

The OP also brought first person into the discussion:

One thing I learned over the last week is that when using first person, there is a fundamental difference between using present tense and past tense.

so that opened the discussion up to alternatives.

 

[Nylonian]

Hi everyone,

I post here very infrequently, mostly because up until recently I only wrote something every year or so. But something weird happened to me recently and I have been in flow for about a week now. I can't stop. Posting this is taking time away from writing stories.

I don't know if I'll post everything I'm writing here; I post more to reddit if I'm honest. They like my gay stories but my straight ones are lacking somehow. Whatever. I'll improve.

Anyway, as a way of greeting you all, would you like to talk about tenses when writing erotica? One thing I learned over the last week is that when using first person, there is a fundamental difference between using present tense and past tense.

When we speak in past tense, the reader is receiving our interpretation of events. They must accept what we're telling them.

But when we speak in present tense, the reader is there. The mediator is removed. The reader can see our emotions, but they are also witnesses to the events in a way that they aren't in past tense. They see through our eyes but experience with their own feelings too. In short, present tense is fucking intense.

What are your favourite tenses? Discuss among yourselves.

Thanks for having me here.

I do like the concept of tense independence in Chinese. It gives everything a very dreamlike, wistful and poetic feeling and is really conducive to that medium for that reason.

In English and Italian though, I prefer the present tense with flashbacks with to the past and the occasional daydream scenario. I'd love to explore that concept in my future stories actually.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I'm going to get all goofy and pedantic for a moment. Because I'm like that. The original OP question is "which tenses are sexiest?"

There are really only two choices, right? Simple past and present? Nobody writes stories in the future tense, or in the past perfect (except for clauses or phrases that describe things happening in relation to the story as a whole).

So, if it's only two choices, it should be phrased, "Which tense is sexier?"

Suzie looked at her bro, and clapped her hands with glee.

"See, this is why EB is your greatest fan. Only SimonDoom could say that!"

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I'm going to get all goofy and pedantic for a moment. Because I'm like that. The original OP question is "which tenses are sexiest?"

There are really only two choices, right? Simple past and present? ...

So, if it's only two choices, it should be phrased, "Which tense is sexier?"

But that misses the sexy past tense twins, Perfect and Imperfect:
"To describe a past action or state which is incomplete, we use an imperfect tense. This tense indicates an action which has gone on over a period time or has happened frequently."

Walking down the street, I tripped over a dangling participle.
I fell head over heels onto the gerund.

 

[NotWise]

But that misses the sexy past tense twins, Perfect and Imperfect:
"To describe a past action or state which is incomplete, we use an imperfect tense. This tense indicates an action which has gone on over a period time or has happened frequently."

Walking down the street, I tripped over a dangling participle.
I fell head over heels onto the gerund.

Ooh, now that's sexy!

 

[SimonDoom]

But that misses the sexy past tense twins, Perfect and Imperfect:
"To describe a past action or state which is incomplete, we use an imperfect tense. This tense indicates an action which has gone on over a period time or has happened frequently."

Walking down the street, I tripped over a dangling participle.
I fell head over heels onto the gerund.

In the past, I had thought I had written perfectly, but it turned out I was writing imperfectly the whole time.