Make me fuckin waffles, bitch - A Love Story

[46n2]

I’ve had that reasonably compelling title tapping at my head recently:

Make me fuckin waffles, bitch - A Love Story


On the surface, you might find that rather predictable. And I don’t like to cheat the reader - but that then does make it a goldmine of opportunity. Can you see why?

Instead I could call it, “Maple Syrup, and the ooze of being true.”

Or, “Melding Within One Another, the beauty we hold deep within compromise.”

If not, of course, “Suck It and Then What?”


Who reads anything coherently these days anyway? It’s all eaten within 130 characters or less. You can’t push a proper thought through. It can only be a headline.

But how can you fail with such a title as that spelled above?

Would that not split all issues in half?

Kinda, “Wait, what the fuck is this?”

And that’s the only way through, as I see it currently, peoples - part the waters. And get it in there good.

-Feel free to steal that. I'll never do nuthin' with it.

 

[MrPixel]

Your thread title made me laugh.

My wife - and muse - refuses to make waffles. So much so she threw out the waffle iron I brought into our marriage 35 years ago. Into the dumpster.

So no waffles for me. Even if I ask nicely.

 

[Naughtygirl201]

Your thread title made me laugh.

My wife - and muse - refuses to make waffles. So much so she threw out the waffle iron I brought into our marriage 35 years ago. Into the dumpster.

So no waffles for me. Even if I ask nicely.

Why don't you make your own waffles?

 

[SimonDoom]

I laughed out loud at that, too. I have no idea where you're going to go with "Make Me Fuckin Waffles Bitch--A Love Story" but I'm intrigued.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I’ve had that reasonably compelling title tapping at my head recently:

Make me fuckin waffles, bitch - A Love Story

My wife and muse has the attitude "I'm like Barbie. That bitch has it all!"

So, if I refer to her a a bitch, her response is "But, I'm YOUR bitch!"

 

[MrPixel]

Why don't you make your own waffles?

I certainly could. Dad was the waffle king when I was growing up, so I have the gene.

Nah, wife is not a fan of waffles or pancakes, so I don't inflect either upon her, even from across the table. The whole waffle iron thing is a joke around our house. If I have an irresistible craving for breakfast flatbreads, we go out. Suits her just fine.

 

[46n2]

My wife - and muse - refuses to make waffles. So much so she threw out the waffle iron I brought into our marriage 35 years ago. Into the dumpster.

And what if you went down and fished it out of there? That would be the end of you both?

Why don't you make your own waffles?

Ah yes, I begin to get stiff.

So yer, for the most part, saying - I’m not wrong?

 

[46n2]

Waffles. It's all about the in-between parts.

 

[Rustyoznail]

Reminds me of that old song - "Put another log on the fire..."

 

[46n2]

In my hour of need.
No.
You are not there.

“Cook me fucking waffles, bitch.”

There is LOTS to be investigated about the average American man that women might want to know. No one is currently surfing through the records for that, put them out there anyway. I want to know all women. I NEED to know all women. And I will not. Lay down.

However. You know? What about me?

I am a man.

I have needs. And I want them filled.

Who cares? Cuz I'm not a chick?


In my hour of need... you are NOT there.

That's all I know.

 

[Trionyx]

Reminds me of the old Kinky Friedman song “Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.” He took a ton of shit from some feminists for it but I thought it was great satire.

 

[lovecraft68]

Add a "Tale for Incels" and you've nailed it.

More so than ever in current times, I fail to find things like this amusing. My ex brother in law(my wife's sister's husband) once told my wife to get back in the kitchen where she belonged, and let the 'men talk'

To this day his knee still bothers him during bad weather.

I'm tired of the kind that finds this funny.

Seriously go back to the 50's or find the incel sites where you'll get an audience. And don't play this off as a joke, you mean it.

 

[theMasterBaiter]

Why don't you make your own waffles?

Well, obviously because his wife threw out the waffle iron:

So much so she threw out the waffle iron I brought into our marriage 35 years ago. Into the dumpster.

Can't make waffles without an iron. I mean, he could buy another waffle iron, but then he would have to hide it from his wife or she might throw it out again, right?

,o)

 

[theMasterBaiter]

The old Waylon Jennings song: "Put another log on the fire" with the chorus "then come tell me why you're leav'n me"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI3bnm33Eqw

 

[SyleusSnow]

The old Waylon Jennings song: "Put another log on the fire" with the chorus "then come tell me why you're leav'n me"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI3bnm33Eqw

Heh. The Muppets with Candice Bergen did a good version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W3gYXeFRJM

 

[yukonnights]

Add a "Tale for Incels" and you've nailed it.

More so than ever in current times, I fail to find things like this amusing. My ex brother in law(my wife's sister's husband) once told my wife to get back in the kitchen where she belonged, and let the 'men talk'

To this day his knee still bothers him during bad weather.

I'm tired of the kind that finds this funny.

Seriously go back to the 50's or find the incel sites where you'll get an audience. And don't play this off as a joke, you mean it.

What you said made me think of an old saying; wiktionary.org; "There's a grain of truth in every joke. Thus, whenever a person is joking, they are actually disguising thoughts and emotions, either subconsciously or deliberately."

 

[Trionyx]

An interesting book: Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates. Interesting in view of the LW comments.

 

[46n2]

I might hate women.

I am VERY much considering it. It’s a strong consideration.

And yes, I’m serious. On a board I’ll get killed for it.

Hear me out, if you care about the potential plight of “men” at all (and would need to, should you wish to gather all that you desire).

MOM
Bad news. I could call her the very worst but that wouldn’t be accurate at all. Instead I got a Mom who’s brilliant in any number of dynamic ways and was probably so thorough in all of them - for herself - that I got left behind.

Brilliant woman. Shitty Mom.

Major problem area for me as a result.

DAD
Phenomenal. Meteoric awesome. Also a gay guy who takes it up the ass. Wait, what? Yeah. Juggle all that shit.

STEP-DAD
Never seen a better idea of what LOVE looks like than I have between this dude and my mother. They were made for each other. It’s like butter on bread. The two of them are both, individually, especially difficult people. But together? They can’t be bought.

It’s valuable I witnessed that.


GIRLFRIENDS

Cunts. The entire lot of them.


…I might pick this up later on. Not like anyone is hanging on my thread anyway, eh…

 

[Winter_Fare]

THERAPY

Consider?

 

[SimonDoom]

Well, it looks like Lovecraft was right. This isn't funny at all.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I might hate women.
MOM
GIRLFRIENDS
Cunts. The entire lot of them.

In such situations where you encounter relationship issues between you and all women (or all people of any group), consider the common denominator is YOU.

And you can't change all women. But you can change you.

 

[Winter_Fare]

Alternatively

https://youtu.be/M5PgQuH78A8

 

[Winter_Fare]

Well, it looks like Lovecraft was right. This isn't funny at all.

Not funny?
I'm literally pissing myself.

 

[Winter_Fare]

Hey, OP, still need waffles?

https://apclips.com/missbohemian/i-pee-your-waffles-fetish-breakfast-urination

 

[MrPixel]

Misogyny. The gift that keeps on giving.