Man's crush is a lesbian...trouble ensues

[Starlust]

So, a man in his first year at uni meets a beautiful girl and is instantly smitten with her, so plucks up the courage to ask her out, and she tells him that she's gay. 100%, no exceptions, she makes it clear when he presses her further. The lovestruck man eventually convinces himself she's just lying to shake him off and goes to her dorm room to have it out, only to barge in on his crush and her girlfriend getting it on. An argument ensues and the dude lets slip a homophobic slur....upon which the girlfriend gives him an ultimatum, either he stays and watches her ravish every inch of his gorgeous crush and make her scream, or they'll report his ass to the uni authorities.

 

[sirhugs]

and hilarity somehow ensues...but how?

 

[SimonDoom]

I think this concept needs substantial tweaking to work. There are issues that, if not resolved, will substantially diminish its overall and erotic appeal.

First of all, is the man the main POV character? Do we see the story from his point of view? If so, how are we going to like him and want him to get laid? He's been told she's lesbian, and yet he persists. He doesn't believe her. He calls her a liar. He sounds like an asshole, someone that the readers will hate. How do we make him likable?

Second, if you DON'T want to make him likable, and don't care about his sexual pleasure, then why would the girlfriend want an asshole to watch them having sex? I don't get it. Is it a female domme thing?

Third, if the main point is to tell a story with a political message, it doesn't seem very erotic.

For this to work, there must be an effort to think about what is the true erotic focus of this story, if it has one? I can't figure it out.

 

[Starlust]

I think this concept needs substantial tweaking to work. There are issues that, if not resolved, will substantially diminish its overall and erotic appeal.

First of all, is the man the main POV character? Do we see the story from his point of view? If so, how are we going to like him and want him to get laid? He's been told she's lesbian, and yet he persists. He doesn't believe her. He calls her a liar. He sounds like an asshole, someone that the readers will hate. How do we make him likable?

Second, if you DON'T want to make him likable, and don't care about his sexual pleasure, then why would the girlfriend want an asshole to watch them having sex? I don't get it. Is it a female domme thing?
....

For this to work, there must be an effort to think about what is the true erotic focus of this story, if it has one? I can't figure it out.

Hmmm, I had the idea of him being someone who comes across as likeable (at least initially) but has a nasty possessive/envious streak when it comes to women? Someone who is a jerk but kind of pitiable at the same time I guess.

The erotic thrust would be the guy being forced to watch the two girls have sex, on one hand he's horrified by his crush having sex with someone else, who is also a woman (proving she is indeed a lesbian and completely unavailable) but also hugely turned on at the same time by it all.

 

[cuck72]

So, a man in his first year at uni meets a beautiful girl and is instantly smitten with her, so plucks up the courage to ask her out, and she tells him that she's gay. 100%, no exceptions, she makes it clear when he presses her further. The lovestruck man eventually convinces himself she's just lying to shake him off and goes to her dorm room to have it out, only to barge in on his crush and her girlfriend getting it on. An argument ensues and the dude lets slip a homophobic slur....upon which the girlfriend gives him an ultimatum, either he stays and watches her ravish every inch of his gorgeous crush and make her scream, or they'll report his ass to the uni authorities.

I like this thinking that the guy starts getting excited and can't believe how this other butch girl is getting his crush all wet and having strong squirting orgasms. He knows now that he'd never be able to satisfy his crush like this other lesbian can. Then maybe it leads to them getting him to submit, he can't satisfy a woman, so they end up using strap-On's on him. He becomes bi.

 

[Starlust]

I like this thinking that the guy starts getting excited and can't believe how this other butch girl is getting his crush all wet and having strong squirting orgasms. He knows now that he'd never be able to satisfy his crush like this other lesbian can. Then maybe it leads to them getting him to submit, he can't satisfy a woman, so they end up using strap-On's on him. He becomes bi.

The news: Man severely injured in 5-car pile-up on freeway, taken to hospital
cuck72: DID HE BECOME BI THO



Seriously, that's a possible direction I guess? Maybe cure him of his homophobia by doing something to him that's kind of gay....he decides he'd like it from a real cock next

 

[SimonDoom]

Hmmm, I had the idea of him being someone who comes across as likeable (at least initially) but has a nasty possessive/envious streak when it comes to women? Someone who is a jerk but kind of pitiable at the same time I guess.

The erotic thrust would be the guy being forced to watch the two girls have sex, on one hand he's horrified by his crush having sex with someone else, who is also a woman (proving she is indeed a lesbian and completely unavailable) but also hugely turned on at the same time by it all.

I don't want to dissuade you or tell you it's a bad idea. I'm just saying it's a complex idea that presents vexing plot and character problems you will have to solve to make it work as a story. There's nothing wrong with that.

It sounds like you're going to tell the story from his point of view. You have some very interesting challenges:

1. How to make him likable, right away. Have him do something nice near the beginning of the story, including something nice for her.

2. Explain why he is reluctant to believe her when she says she's a lesbian. Maybe he has no experience with lesbians and doesn't know any. Maybe she doesn't "look like a lesbian" to him. Maybe, secretly, the idea of lesbianism turns him on. If you make him a bro who thinks it's inconceivable that a woman would not be turned on by him, he won't be appealing.

3. Maybe SHE is so appealing he finds her irresistible.

4. Maybe he's never dealt with a sexually forceful woman like the girlfriend, and that turns him on.

There are endless ways of doing it, but it will be an interesting challenge. It's going to take a lot of focus on your main character and his motivation. Good luck!

 

[yukonnights]

One other thing to consider; What category will it be posted to? In general, stories with a lesbian theme are posted in the Lesbian category (there is no bisexual category). However, this story is mostly about the male character.

I can't say with certainty, but you may find a very unimpressed audience in the Lesbian category. He's aggressive, ignores her explanation about being lesbian, he's homophobic, etc. IMO, from what you've outlined you're basically slapping them in the face.

You could try putting it in one of the "catch all" categories such as erotic couplings, but then you face the possible wrath of the heterosexual reader who stumbles across lesbian content.

Anyway, just something for you to consider.

 

[LupusDei]

As to category it perhaps going into voyeur/exhibitionism, or perhaps fetish in more extreme case.

I understand the desire here is one at very least adjacent to humiliation of the guy, and the catharsis is derived from that (I personally not exactly understand how, but know it's a thing)

So, is the guy wimpy from the start or starts a macho for greater contrast, but either way he's rather everyday joe. But he really gets a thing for this girl. The girl perhaps even likes him back, but as a friend. He misunderstand seeing what he wants, not being an asshole about it, just delusional. The girl may not be exactly clear initially either, and later, thinking he's acceptable (although he just hang around no matter what) loses her guard around him and teases him inadvertently.

So the guy goes into obsession, slowly. He may think he's gaining ground, that things are developing, until he overstep a little. Only then he's strongly refuted by reinforcing she's not into guy's. At that point he's not believing anymore. (And yes, we're basically knowingly following a madman at this point, wondering just how bad it would end.)

He's stalking her, and watching them together. Perhaps more than once, even, but eventually gets caught, by the girlfriend. Who could be a dominant, possibly. Maybe she signal him to leave at first, maybe he refuses, or return, drawn to watch his crush no matter what. Maybe the domme girlfriend even accepts that, given he stays hidden, but he fails, the crush finally notices what's going on, a scandal ensues. Interrupted by the girlfriend taking command over them both.

I seriously doubt the guy ever gets more than hid hand in this, but how it goes from here depends on desires of the author expressed through actions of said girlfriend in charge, and options on that are wide open (from the crush enjoying his tongue (and nothing more) through him getting a strap on in his ass, and everything in between).

 

[Starlust]

One other thing to consider; What category will it be posted to? In general, stories with a lesbian theme are posted in the Lesbian category (there is no bisexual category). However, this story is mostly about the male character.

I can't say with certainty, but you may find a very unimpressed audience in the Lesbian category. He's aggressive, ignores her explanation about being lesbian, he's homophobic, etc. IMO, from what you've outlined you're basically slapping them in the face.

You could try putting it in one of the "catch all" categories such as erotic couplings, but then you face the possible wrath of the heterosexual reader who stumbles across lesbian content.

Anyway, just something for you to consider.

I've already done one story that had a male voyeur inadvertently stumbling on lesbian sex and jacking off covertly to it, that got posted to the Lesbian section without attracting any angry comments. Besides, writing a character with backwards views doesn't equal an endorsement of those views, it would be quite clear that he is completely in the wrong....and also him being forced to watch his gay girl crush sexing up another lady would be his comeuppance, basically.

As to category it perhaps going into voyeur/exhibitionism, or perhaps fetish in more extreme case.

I understand the desire here is one at very least adjacent to humiliation of the guy, and the catharsis is derived from that (I personally not exactly understand how, but know it's a thing)

So, is the guy wimpy from the start or starts a macho for greater contrast, but either way he's rather everyday joe. But he really gets a thing for this girl. The girl perhaps even likes him back, but as a friend. He misunderstand seeing what he wants, not being an asshole about it, just delusional. The girl may not be exactly clear initially either, and later, thinking he's acceptable (although he just hang around no matter what) loses her guard around him and teases him inadvertently.

So the guy goes into obsession, slowly. He may think he's gaining ground, that things are developing, until he overstep a little. Only then he's strongly refuted by reinforcing she's not into guy's. At that point he's not believing anymore. (And yes, we're basically knowingly following a madman at this point, wondering just how bad it would end.)

He's stalking her, and watching them together. Perhaps more than once, even, but eventually gets caught, by the girlfriend. Who could be a dominant, possibly. Maybe she signal him to leave at first, maybe he refuses, or return, drawn to watch his crush no matter what. Maybe the domme girlfriend even accepts that, given he stays hidden, but he fails, the crush finally notices what's going on, a scandal ensues. Interrupted by the girlfriend taking command over them both.

I seriously doubt the guy ever gets more than hid hand in this, but how it goes from here depends on desires of the author expressed through actions of said girlfriend in charge, and options on that are wide open (from the crush enjoying his tongue (and nothing more) through him getting a strap on in his ass, and everything in between).

Hmmm I had envisaged him being tied up - in a non-sexual way, in case he tries anything - and he ends up so horrified yet so turned on that in cums in her pants. I also had a thought of the butch girlfriend licking the hot femme's pussy and ass out and then making him taste his crush on her tongue, taunting him by saying that's the most he'll ever get of her.

 

[Jimbojambo987]

So, a man in his first year at uni meets a beautiful girl and is instantly smitten with her, so plucks up the courage to ask her out, and she tells him that she's gay. 100%, no exceptions, she makes it clear when he presses her further. The lovestruck man eventually convinces himself she's just lying to shake him off and goes to her dorm room to have it out, only to barge in on his crush and her girlfriend getting it on. An argument ensues and the dude lets slip a homophobic slur....upon which the girlfriend gives him an ultimatum, either he stays and watches her ravish every inch of his gorgeous crush and make her scream, or they'll report his ass to the uni authorities.

How about the guy has a girlfriend instead and the only way he can do the new girl is to figure out how to get a 3some going. However he does more watching than playing and eventually losses his girlfriend.

 

[RetroFan]

I have used this trope for laughs in some of my lesbian stories, although not the main theme and the girls in question were bi rather than full lesbians.

For example in my story 'April Leads Julie Astray' set in North Carolina in 1963 Julie, who is the local Reverend's daughter, is the crush of Billy, a bumbling and not-too-bright fat guy who follows her around with a dreamy expression and asks her dumb questions.

In 'My Gay Friend's Hot Mum' set in Melbourne Australia in 1996 the 18-year-old narrator Sophie is the object of affection of a nerd in her class at high school, who always finds ways to embarrass her.

 

[Carnevil9]

I could imagine a story like this, where the lesbian finally decides to give the guy a chance, but with a catch: She tells him that he needs to "make love like a woman."

The dude has no idea what that means and begs for more explanation, but she refuses. She tells him to do some research and figure it out, and that when he is ready, she will give him ONE shot. If he doesn't measure up, she will cut him off forever.

So the dude goes out into the world, seeking for knowledge about how to make love "like a woman."

 

[DanDraper]

I can imagine him as a stalker who's obsessed with someone who can't love him back the same way, or a narcissist who think he's so good with women that he can even turn a lesbian.




.....

 

[Abbafan]

So, a man in his first year at uni meets a beautiful girl and is instantly smitten with her, so plucks up the courage to ask her out, and she tells him that she's gay. 100%, no exceptions, she makes it clear when he presses her further. The lovestruck man eventually convinces himself she's just lying to shake him off and goes to her dorm room to have it out, only to barge in on his crush and her girlfriend getting it on. An argument ensues and the dude lets slip a homophobic slur....upon which the girlfriend gives him an ultimatum, either he stays and watches her ravish every inch of his gorgeous crush and make her scream, or they'll report his ass to the uni authorities.

He sounds like a dangerous mental case. Follows a girl he just met to her dorm room and barges in on her to "have it out" after she turned him down. Of course, there reaction to someone breaking into the room while they are getting it on is absurd, too.

I know we saw all kinds of situations in stories that wouldn't make much sense in the real world, but I'd have trouble getting into a story like this, where someone is behaving that badly.

Just my opinion.

 

[Starlust]

I could imagine a story like this, where the lesbian finally decides to give the guy a chance, but with a catch: She tells him that he needs to "make love like a woman."

The dude has no idea what that means and begs for more explanation, but she refuses. She tells him to do some research and figure it out, and that when he is ready, she will give him ONE shot. If he doesn't measure up, she will cut him off forever.

So the dude goes out into the world, seeking for knowledge about how to make love "like a woman."

I did actually have a similar idea, about a lesbian (until that point) girl who found a guy she was attracted to, but expressed the concern that she wouldn't enjoy straight sex. So the guy sought advice from his new gf's lesbian friend on how to "properly" make love to a woman in order to properly satisfy her. One idea I had at one point was to have it as a prequel to my existing story.

 

[LupusDei]

I did actually have a similar idea, about a lesbian (until that point) girl who found a guy she was attracted to, but expressed the concern that she wouldn't enjoy straight sex. So the guy sought advice from his new gf's lesbian friend on how to "properly" make love to a woman in order to properly satisfy her. One idea I had at one point was to have it as a prequel to my existing story.

Once we are that far out...

On a rebound from wild times I stumbled upon a virgin girl I fell deadly in love with. In a few years she left me for a rude drunk with big dick, who beat her. I said it will be so beforehand, and before she left him she cheated on him with me. That guy almost killed himself (then went to explore arctic). But I didn't get the girl back, she studied quantum computing and went around another half dozen guys always moving over to the next by surprise to anyone but me. Because, yes, she still fucked me on occasion and made a point of introducing them all to me.

Then she randomly had a couple free tickets for a culture tour around Europe with a students group, and happened to be between guys. Well, so she said. So she invited me with her and Alice along with Karl. But it became immediately apparent Karl and Alice were no couple, and actually, my ex had upgraded her long time friend to a girlfriend. And was on to out with her already, but she managed a couple dreamy threesomes with me and her.

Coming home I found a crying girl in my arms, and it wasn't my ex for a change. I was used by then to drink beer with my ex heartbroken ex-es, but for a first it was a girl, a stunning beauty with sweetest voice I had ever heard. And we did more than drink beer, but it didn't work. Not quite, not for her. She was a data science software architect and computed she was a lesbian after all.

 

[Starlust]

Once we are that far out...

On a rebound from wild times I stumbled upon a virgin girl I fell deadly in love with. In a few years she left me for a rude drunk with big dick, who beat her. I said it will be so beforehand, and before she left him she cheated on him with me. That guy almost killed himself (then went to explore arctic). But I didn't get the girl back, she studied quantum computing and went around another half dozen guys always moving over to the next by surprise to anyone but me. Because, yes, she still fucked me on occasion and made a point of introducing them all to me.

Then she randomly had a couple free tickets for a culture tour around Europe with a students group, and happened to be between guys. Well, so she said. So she invited me with her and Alice along with Karl. But it became immediately apparent Karl and Alice were no couple, and actually, my ex had upgraded her long time friend to a girlfriend. And was on to out with her already, but she managed a couple dreamy threesomes with me and her.

Coming home I found a crying girl in my arms, and it wasn't my ex for a change. I was used by then to drink beer with my ex heartbroken ex-es, but for a first it was a girl, a stunning beauty with sweetest voice I had ever heard. And we did more than drink beer, but it didn't work. Not quite, not for her. She was a data science software architect and computed she was a lesbian after all.

Wow, interesting story, pretty wild....although in my story idea the "lesbian" would be fully attracted to him, just nervous about having sex with a man for the first time in years.