What's the opposite of premature ejaculation? Because I've got it.

[Modessitt]

Anyone else? And it's not something due to age (I'm 52) because I was like this in my early 20s. I dated a woman when I was 23 (she was 30) who used to comment "If you take this long now, I can't imagine how long you'll take when you're older." I sometimes wonder if I inadvertently trained myself to be this way? As a teenage virgin in the 80s, I'd often check out my Mom's Cosmo and other magazines and see complaints by women about their "minute men" and when the time came I purposefully made sure to make her she orgasmed before me.

My wife complains about it a lot. She will usually tell me "you've got 30 minutes" and will quit if it's going to too long for her. (She's got to take a shower, finish looking over students' homework, etc, and wants some sleep before getting up to deal with the kids.)

It's been my experience that a woman who wants a guy who can last a long time has never really been with a guy that can last a loooooong time. I'd say maybe half of every sexual experience in my life has ended with me not having an orgasm because she tapped out.

I should say that not every experience is super long. Sometimes the situation is very exciting and I'm done in 15-20 minutes, but I feel most women - at least those with families or jobs - would love 15-30 minutes (total including foreplay) and then move along.

Any ladies have a partner like this? What do you think about it? Anything you do that helps him finish faster? Or do you love sometimes going an hour or more?

My wife has been getting to the point of regarding sex as "work" instead of fun. I've even considered finding a FWB that really wants to take some time and enjoy it no matter how long it takes, just for the relief. Tired of having to finish it myself.

Comments?

 

[thør]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/41/The_Job_of_Sex.jpg

 

[KimGordon67]

The last two regular guys I've had were like this, and just barely ever came. When I first encountered it, I worried a lot that it was something to do with me, but both assured me that (a) it wasn't; and that (b) they were having a great time regardless. (Both could make themselves cum masturbating, so it wasn't like it was impossible.) Maybe it IS something about me, and neither of them wanted to say that, but they also both came back for more, repeatedly (two years in one case, five months in the other case) ... I assume if I sucked at sex, that wouldn't have happened, and I also had other partners in the same timeframe who had no problem cumming at all.

I'm a big fan of sex that goes on for hours, so it's all fine for me, once I got over worrying about it. I didn't live with either of them, so it wasn't super regular, so there is that. But I love how it means I can cum multiple times. And both of them were pretty clearly more interested in the journey than the destination. In both cases, it gave us a lot of space to explore some 'non-mainstream' activities, because we had the time and energy for that.

 

[Modessitt]

The last two regular guys I've had were like this, and just barely ever came. When I first encountered it, I worried a lot that it was something to do with me, but both assured me that (a) it wasn't; and that (b) they were having a great time regardless. (Both could make themselves cum masturbating, so it wasn't like it was impossible.) Maybe it IS something about me, and neither of them wanted to say that, but they also both came back for more, repeatedly (two years in one case, five months in the other case) ... I assume if I sucked at sex, that wouldn't have happened, and I also had other partners in the same timeframe who had no problem cumming at all.

I'm a big fan of sex that goes on for hours, so it's all fine for me, once I got over worrying about it. I didn't live with either of them, so it wasn't super regular, so there is that. But I love how it means I can cum multiple times. And both of them were pretty clearly more interested in the journey than the destination. In both cases, it gave us a lot of space to explore some 'non-mainstream' activities, because we had the time and energy for that.

Thanks for the insight. Yes, I enjoy it (usually) but I'll admit that sometimes what's going on doesn't always feel great to me (but does to her) and that can obviously contribute to how long it's going to take. The worst thing is that sometimes something feels REALLY GOOD and is causing the slow build up, but due to how long it takes she can't maintain that effort or position and has to switch to something else that isn't as good.

But even bad sex is usually worthwhile despite no orgasm. Every encounter has the possibility of being the "best ever".

 

[Dribble]

It is called early prostate cancer.

 

[Modessitt]

It is called early prostate cancer.

Well, then I'm doing pretty good after having it for 30+ years

 

[KimGordon67]

It is called early prostate cancer.

Is that true? Because if so, I probably should tell someone to get checked.

ETA - I looked this up, and the Johns Hopkins site links a few ejaculation-related issues to (potential) prostate cancer, but *not* ejaculating isn't one of the issues.

 

[KimGordon67]

Thanks for the insight. Yes, I enjoy it (usually) but I'll admit that sometimes what's going on doesn't always feel great to me (but does to her) and that can obviously contribute to how long it's going to take. The worst thing is that sometimes something feels REALLY GOOD and is causing the slow build up, but due to how long it takes she can't maintain that effort or position and has to switch to something else that isn't as good.

But even bad sex is usually worthwhile despite no orgasm. Every encounter has the possibility of being the "best ever".

Neither of these guys really did things that didn't feel great for them.

However, I get your point about the length of time sometimes being difficult to sustain. A couple of times the last guy was close to cumming and I moved, like maybe an inch, because something was getting uncomfortable for me, and that was the end of him cumming. (In my defence, if he'd actually told me he was really close, I probably would have just handled the discomfort for another minute or two.)

I don't think I would ever put up with 'bad sex' though, and I wouldn't really expect my partners to either.

 

[Aglaopheme]

Neither of these guys really did things that didn't feel great for them.

However, I get your point about the length of time sometimes being difficult to sustain. A couple of times the last guy was close to cumming and I moved, like maybe an inch, because something was getting uncomfortable for me, and that was the end of him cumming. (In my defence, if he'd actually told me he was really close, I probably would have just handled the discomfort for another minute or two.)

I don't think I would ever put up with 'bad sex' though, and I wouldn't really expect my partners to either.

Don’t you get the feeling that he really just here to complain about his wife? I mean, he didn’t ask the men what they thought.






It’s called delayed ejaculation, and it’s you not her.

 

[Modessitt]

It is called early prostate cancer.

Don’t you get the feeling that he really just here to complain about his wife? I mean, he didn’t ask the men what they thought.





It’s called delayed ejaculation, and it’s you not her.

Reading comprehension hard for you? Literally the first thing I asked was "Anyone else?" That could only be answered by other men with this issue. But since most guys here seem to be rude horndogs panting after the women, I didn't expect much in helpful responses. And you proved that.

And yes, I know what's it's called and I know it's me. I'm not comparing about my wife. I just needed perspective from others on how they deal with it and from women on how they handle it. Our if they even consider it an issue. This has happened in every relationship, not just with my wife.

 

[Modessitt]

Is that true? Because if so, I probably should tell someone to get checked.

ETA - I looked this up, and the Johns Hopkins site links a few ejaculation-related issues to (potential) prostate cancer, but *not* ejaculating isn't one of the issues.

My problem isn't ejaculating. It's reaching orgasm during sex. It happens, but it takes a lot of time to achieve. I can masturbate just fine.

 

[KimGordon67]

My problem isn't ejaculating. It's reaching orgasm during sex. It happens, but it takes a lot of time to achieve. I can masturbate just fine.

You weren't the person I was concerned about ... I mean, obviously I'm concerned if you're at risk of prostate cancer, but not as concerned as I am about the last person I saw naked. Just saying.

 

[silver gurl]

It’s called: getting old.

 

[Modessitt]

It’s called: getting old.

True, but as I mentioned, I've been this way since I first had sex at 18.

 

[Aglaopheme]

It would seem that reading comprehension is an issue for you. You literally asked what is was, so I told you. Prior to that, I was asking Kim her opinion.


If you are not here to complain a out your wife, then you shouldn’t do it so often. Good luck trying to get women to have sexy time talk with you. You come across as a rude horndog.

 

[adrina]

Have you talked to your doctor?

 

[Aglaopheme]

It’s called: getting old.

He can’t even keep his story straight.

 

[WillJ8787]

Anyone else? And it's not something due to age (I'm 52) because I was like this in my early 20s. I dated a woman when I was 23 (she was 30) who used to comment "If you take this long now, I can't imagine how long you'll take when you're older." I sometimes wonder if I inadvertently trained myself to be this way? As a teenage virgin in the 80s, I'd often check out my Mom's Cosmo and other magazines and see complaints by women about their "minute men" and when the time came I purposefully made sure to make her she orgasmed before me.

My wife complains about it a lot. She will usually tell me "you've got 30 minutes" and will quit if it's going to too long for her. (She's got to take a shower, finish looking over students' homework, etc, and wants some sleep before getting up to deal with the kids.)

It's been my experience that a woman who wants a guy who can last a long time has never really been with a guy that can last a loooooong time. I'd say maybe half of every sexual experience in my life has ended with me not having an orgasm because she tapped out.

I should say that not every experience is super long. Sometimes the situation is very exciting and I'm done in 15-20 minutes, but I feel most women - at least those with families or jobs - would love 15-30 minutes (total including foreplay) and then move along.

Any ladies have a partner like this? What do you think about it? Anything you do that helps him finish faster? Or do you love sometimes going an hour or more?

My wife has been getting to the point of regarding sex as "work" instead of fun. I've even considered finding a FWB that really wants to take some time and enjoy it no matter how long it takes, just for the relief. Tired of having to finish it myself.

Comments?

Yeah, I don't think it is necessarily about age....I've got lots.of.young and very young friends(under 30) who need Viagra....go figure. Doctor say it is common even in young men.

For me, depends on the person, passion, position (s), and lots of stuff. Sometimes fast, sometimes I can go for days staying completely hard and not orgasm. I actually like not orgasming....I retain way more energy and I'm ready to go at any moment. If you enjoy what is going on...it's all good.

I did have one very young gal question me about it cause she thought it was her causing a problem. I had her coming in 10 minutes every time....I didn't have the heart to tell her she came to fast. She just wanted to see or feel me shoot....she didn't complain about all the orgasms I gave her though.

 

[Saint Peter]

thirty minutes or you cum.

a deal is a deal.

 

[Modessitt]

He can’t even keep his story straight.

I don't post in the forums that much so I don't really know, but are you always an ass? I mean, if that's your shtick and everyone if used to it, then okay. I guess y'all are used to trolls on a sex board, but lighten up Francis.

I haven't contradicted anything I've posted previously. The only reason I brought up my wife was to show that my issue sometimes causes problems during sex and if someone wanted to give advice on how we could make it better (faster) then that would be great.

 

[Modessitt]

Have you talked to your doctor?

No, but I've done some research into prolonged ejaculation and there doesn't seem to be much in the way of treatment. You can get tons of stuff to deal with decreasing sensitivity to help with premature ejaculation, but nothing really to increase sensitivity to get it to happen faster. A lot of people don't consider it a problem needing attention.

 

[Saint Peter]

talk to your doctor.

eat 'em like M&Ms.

 

[Modessitt]

talk to your doctor.

eat 'em like M&Ms.

I assume you're referring to Viagra and such? Does that really help? I thought it was more for getting/keeping it up than getting it off. I have no problems getting it up and keeping it up.

 

[KimGordon67]

No, but I've done some research into prolonged ejaculation and there doesn't seem to be much in the way of treatment. You can get tons of stuff to deal with decreasing sensitivity to help with premature ejaculation, but nothing really to increase sensitivity to get it to happen faster. A lot of people don't consider it a problem needing attention.

Maybe that's the answer ... just enjoy the journey. Is it such a disaster if you don't cum ... or if you 'need' to, just enjoy the sex with your wife until it's enough for her, and then masturbate.

 

[Saint Peter]

I assume you're referring to Viagra and such? Does that really help? I thought it was more for getting/keeping it up than getting it off. I have no problems getting it up and keeping it up.

i could have taken one of two paths. one is telling you to see a doctor. two is telling you to stick an ice cube up her ass to tighten up the old cave.

i chose one.



never again.