Meeting Friends from Lit

[redheadfantasy]

Hi all,

I met a friend of sorts here on Lit, and realized we live relatively close. We were talking about doing dinner sometime at a restaurant. I’m very cautious by nature, but does anyone have any advice? If anyone else has done this before, how did it go? Good? Bad?

 

[mrmphilllll]

Hi all,

I met a friend of sorts here on Lit, and realized we live relatively close. We were talking about doing dinner sometime at a restaurant. I’m very cautious by nature, but does anyone have any advice? If anyone else has done this before, how did it go? Good? Bad?

Bad unless you feel no risk. Always be cautious there for you own well being!

 

[njguy1002]

Hi all,

I met a friend of sorts here on Lit, and realized we live relatively close. We were talking about doing dinner sometime at a restaurant. I’m very cautious by nature, but does anyone have any advice? If anyone else has done this before, how did it go? Good? Bad?

Make it a public place.

 

[redheadfantasy]

Thanks for the advice, sounds sensible.

 

[Mrmusings45]

Yes

We met here, developed a relationship over a few months and of course talked about lots of fantasies as well as LOTS of every-day.

And then I got an assignment in her town. She has much more experience playing on line than I do, and she was QUITE comfortable moving to in-person. Maybe a bit of role-reversal, I was the one who was hesitant.

We met at her home, early summer last year in the middle of the day. She introduced me to her husband and kids, family that lived nearby. Her husband had not been involved in any of our chats or calls over the months, he just knew I was her friend from out of state and would be working in their city for a few months...it ended up being even longer. When we were talking about what to do for dinner that night her husband suggested grilling burgers. She said she'd start working on things in the kitchen and invited me to come in and watch TV while we waited, one of their kids wanted to go hang out with the grandparents who lived nearby, and her husband took the other kid to the store for groceries.

Just as natural as hanging out with friends, she and I were alone in their house and we weren't just chatting with our thumbs through screens anymore. She was sitting in one of their recliners with a wide, hungry smile and an eager look. I was standing near the front door feeling excited, nervous, anxious...lots of different things.

A couple of minutes of the TV playing and being ignored. I looked at the screen and didn't really see it. Her husband and kid were probably just getting to the main street, that how fast it happened.

She can have a very sweet voice and innocently asked, with that ravenous look still in her eyes and red tongue touching white teeth, "Well, like we talked about. Aren't you going to strip?"

I had lots of new experiences with that lady, the relationship continues today, and we met here.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Hi all,

I met a friend of sorts here on Lit, and realized we live relatively close. We were talking about doing dinner sometime at a restaurant. I’m very cautious by nature, but does anyone have any advice? If anyone else has done this before, how did it go? Good? Bad?

Do it like a meet & greet . If it’s a hook up , you’ll both know ahead of time. If it’s a vanilla hi Facebook friend lunch , what’s the big deal. You should post it in your thread.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I've met many. It depends on what you want from it. But meet in public.
I haven't had bad experiences. okay. bad experience. No regret though.

 

[Anastasia1999]

1. Make it a public place for the first meeting. In my experience, that first one is such a rush that I can get a bit reckless so I made it a rule over the years to stay stone-cold sober for the first few meetings.

2. Trust your gut! I can’t overstate the importance of that.

3. Remember that meeting IRL can totally change the dynamic of an previously online relationship. Sometimes for the better! Sometimes it cools things down because the anticipation is gone.

4. Have fun!

I agree with all 4 points 100% although I did have a glass of wine to calm my nerves

Tell someone where you will be going and leave an address with them.

 

[Dribble]

Coffee...not a dinner.

 

[DirtyOldMan64]

Make sure someone knows who your meeting and where you'll be. Possibly even have a friend go with you.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

1. Make it a public place for the first meeting. In my experience, that first one is such a rush that I can get a bit reckless so I made it a rule over the years to stay stone-cold sober for the first few meetings.

2. Trust your gut! I can’t overstate the importance of that.

3. Remember that meeting IRL can totally change the dynamic of a previously all-online relationship. Sometimes for the better, which has happened to me! Sometimes it cools things down because the anticipation is gone, which has also happened to me!

4. Have fun!

Very well stated , it’s pretty much solid unisex advice to. It’s not always the man that isn’t what they project online.

Kudos

 

[Spanky1372]

Let someone you know where you are, coffee not lunch, keep your phone in your pocket, make it public, trust your gut instinct. It has all been said before but can't be said enough.

 

[luv2lick27]

1. Make it a public place for the first meeting. In my experience, that first one is such a rush that I can get a bit reckless so I made it a rule over the years to stay stone-cold sober for the first few meetings.

2. Trust your gut! I can’t overstate the importance of that.

3. Remember that meeting IRL can totally change the dynamic of a previously all-online relationship. Sometimes for the better, which has happened to me! Sometimes it cools things down because the anticipation is gone, which has also happened to me!

4. Have fun!

I agree with you here.

 

[Disillusionedattorney]

I’ve done this more than once (not from this site yet) and do a couple things first: cursory background check, FaceTime or Skype before meeting, telling a friend where I’m going and with whom, setting up a call at a certain time to check in with a friend (which can provide an out if needed!!), and let’s be real here, carrying discreet pepper spray in a purse/key ring is always handy.
It’s always been fine for me, but you really never know. Have fun and be safe!

 

[DirtyOldMan64]

I’ve done this more than once (not from this site yet) and do a couple things first: cursory background check, FaceTime or Skype before meeting, telling a friend where I’m going and with whom, setting up a call at a certain time to check in with a friend (which can provide an out if needed!!), and let’s be real here, carrying discreet pepper spray in a purse/key ring is always handy.
It’s always been fine for me, but you really never know. Have fun and be safe!

Excellent advice

 

[HampshireBoy]

I would treat it like any other blind date, good advice from Disillusionedattorney. Speak to the person before arranging a meet, phone is good skype or zoom is better. Meet in a public place, let a friend know you are going, etc. Don't commit to anything other than a drink for the first meet, you can always change your mind if it feels right, and if you hit it off you can meet again.

Most of all remember that most people are not predators but there are some out there and you need to keep yourself safe, if the person is decent they will understand and will probably be following the same precautions.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I’ve done this more than once (not from this site yet) and do a couple things first: cursory background check, FaceTime or Skype before meeting, telling a friend where I’m going and with whom, setting up a call at a certain time to check in with a friend (which can provide an out if needed!!), and let’s be real here, carrying discreet pepper spray in a purse/key ring is always handy.
It’s always been fine for me, but you really never know. Have fun and be safe!

I carry a gun

 

[Wand3rlust]

Hi all,

I met a friend of sorts here on Lit, and realized we live relatively close. We were talking about doing dinner sometime at a restaurant. I’m very cautious by nature, but does anyone have any advice? If anyone else has done this before, how did it go? Good? Bad?

I'd also say - don't feel any pressure to meet other than as friends - just cos you click online, doesn't always follow that it'll be the same in person. So don't feel under any pressure if to be intimate, even if you have been online.

But I hope it works out. I've made some very deep friendships that have transferred well from online to in person. I've been very lucky.

 

[HampshireBoy]

I'd also say - don't feel any pressure to meet other than as friends - just cos you click online, doesn't always follow that it'll be the same in person. So don't feel under any pressure if to be intimate, even if you have been online.

But I hope it works out. I've made some very deep friendships that have transferred well from online to in person. I've been very lucky.

Good advice, I "met" a female on another site and we really clicked online. Exchanging sexual stories and chatting about all sorts, for some reason when we met in person it just wasn't the same - maybe even though we had exchnaged photos we both had built a mental image that wasn't the same as reality?

 

[call_me_sarge]

We have met a few. Did some chatting back and forth, exchanging stories and photos. We wanted to build up that trust, we had good chemistry. This day and age, you can’t be too careful, and we wanted the experiences to be really great, and they were.

 

[EdwardsOtherSide]

Get there a little early, sit where you can see them from a distance first, without them between you and an exit.
Don't be afraid to ghost if you don't like the vibe.

I always start with a real clear "where I am, what I am looking for" sort of conversation.